RELEASE YA! (mini-announcement)

Long story short: I quit my day job. I feel like it was a long time coming, but between my opportunity to attend school and my continuing attempt to also balance doing artstuff here, I reached my physical limit, and I decided that now it would be for the best to leave working in the studio and focus on newer pastures. (don't worry, I think I'm gonna do fine financially)

Longer version: I mentioned a few days ago when suddenly my entire body felt like it collapsed, and I ended up working a full 10-hour shift in the studio afterwards the following day, and it basically wrecked me, and it forced me to realize the situation I've been and have processed to a degree but hadn't really acted on: trying to attend school AND 2 different creative jobs at once causes far too much strain. Between the long work hours, limited opportunity to rest, and no more free days, I realized I was running myself ragged and legit, I almost felt like I was about to die from the overwork and my heart about to explode from stress.

I had long discussions with my family members (even though this isn't a super opportune time due to other stuff going on, though that's probably a story for another day) as well as with my therapist to consider my options, and after taking their thoughtful, caring advice, I made the decision to resign from my day job. I ultimately never saw myself having a substantial future with it -- not only do I not see myself as manager material, I'll be real, I don't like the content we produce lol. I ultimately stuck by it as a "safety net", as well as some general emotional ties (I do love my coworkers and will miss sharing a workplace with them, and even my managers were nicer than you'd expect), but ultimately, those are sacrifices I'm willing to make, and frankly NEED to considering the toll they were creating on my body.

Actually, a big thing that made me reconsider those needs is the fact that ironically, I feel like this job may have been diminishing my ability to pursue both financial security and socializing on my own terms. I'm severely overdue on both my commissions as well as obligations for Patreon largely because of exhaustion from everything else in my life, and it's also been a reason why I've felt like I've never really optimally interacted with people I consider friends -- I constantly fear I've drifted away significantly over the years because of my own inattention from trying to juggle too many things at once, and I'm ashamed of myself for not realizing and acting on it sooner.

Well, now's the time for me to correct things. I let my higher-ups know I was going to resign (I sent them my email on Sunday; got an angry text from the boss I sent it to this morning wondering why didn't I show up and why he didn't receive an email explaining it, and then replied to my email a few hours ago -- joy.), and they accepted it. Soon, I'll be moving on to a new chapter of my life without this pillar in my life for the last 2.5ish years, and I can already feel the bittersweetness settling in.

...so, I decided I might as well make the most of this freedom I got and draw something, just so I can at least process what it's like now that I don't need to feel so cramped. I have indeed been getting more rest the last few days and do feel better physically, and for the first time in a while, I'm back to drawing for pleasure again. Hell yeah. Like, actually I think I finally "get" Beyonce's "BREAK MY SOUL" haha

What's in store for here? Well, I'm probably gonna do more art, haha. I wanna shift more of my focus to -- if not specifically commissions -- than at least understanding more of what I want to do now that I don't have this burden shackled to me anymore, and I can pursue what I believe is a better, more efficient use of my time. I got some coms to get to for sure, and I'm still exploding with ideas for things I wanna do... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Thank you all for understanding. Let's do this. Release the job! Release the time! Release the trade! Release the stress! Release the love! Forget the rest!