Sexual Energy
Added 2021-12-08 02:29:10 +0000 UTCYou voted on it! Our new topic of (s)exploration...sexual energy!
Enjoy! ππ
Comments
Hello dear Kae! - I have not been able to engage much lately due to β¦wellβ¦.lifeβ¦. but - Im still here with you and catching up. Sexual Energy is one my absolute most favorite topics (and part of what I am studying in my masters program). To your question of βwhat does it mean to meβ would probably take an hour long conversation, but Iβll try to capture a few things. As I have aged and matured, Ive worked really hard to embrace all aspects of my sexuality that some may deem unpalatable - ie: Im from the old skool of cruising (as one example). While that isnt a thing for me now, I used to be so ashamed. Now I celebrate that part of my growth. Im proud to share stories with younger gay men about what it used to be like before technology / apps etc. There are other examples of similar things, so this is just 1 example. It took a long time to get here, but Ive never felt such a deep peace as I do now. Here is the twist, as Ive aged, Ive become more in sync with my empathic abilities and now I sense sexual energy in others. I can tell when someone isnt comfortable in their own skin. I find that friends and even people I dont know all that well seek me out for questions about how I became so comfortable with myself. Its a little tougher to balance that energy, but also feel that its an amazing trust that someone has bestowed in me, and its my honor to share my personal journey and perhaps provide resources where they can explore further. I so so so look forward to the day when men of all types can have these types of discussions with the utmost of comfort. Thanks for sharing!
DiscoUnicorns
2022-01-15 22:10:38 +0000 UTCOh my gosh. I love all of this. THANK YOU Alec, for taking the time to share!! I am so wishing you and this man A WONDERFUL continued story together. Did I ever tell you that Anthony, my husband, almost became a catholic priest? Much in common! I love you and your brave spirit!! β€οΈβπ₯πππ±πΊβ¨
Kae Strouse
2021-12-08 21:30:21 +0000 UTCWhat a gorgeous, pitch-perfect explanation! Fortunately, Reform Judaism in the 1970s taught little me that sexuality was a gift from G*d to be celebrated, and skipped right over the shame part. Of course, the "hetero" and "married" parts were implied, but little gay me ignored those. Thus, I was lucky not to be burdened with any shame around being a growing sexual creature or being gay -- stark raving terror, yes, but not shame. This topic comes at a particularly important juncture for me, as I will soon be seeing my once- and now-again fiancΓ©. We met 19 years ago (when he was still a Catholic priest, speaking of religious celibates... *coughs gently*), fell in mutual love literally at first sight, lived together for several years, were engaged at his proposal, and then had to go back to being in different countries for reasons related to the Catholic Church. After that, he became emotionally unable to sustain a partnership. We always stayed very close and in at least weekly voice contact. (I can call Canada for free with my phone.) Of course, I was still deeply in love with him. I tried dating but UGH, UGH, UGH. One disaster, user, substance abuser, and general emotional train wreck after another. I visited him a couple of times, and the connection remained as it always had been. The frequent and emotionally intimate phone calls never abated. A couple of years ago, his healing reached the point which allowed him to express his desire to enter anew into a committed couple relationship. I left it to him to say what he wanted to say, when he wanted to say it, how he wanted to say it, and responded gently and in an encouraging manner. Phone calls again became almost daily. In July 2020, we were texting, and suddenly, he was obliquely talking about marriage. At that point, I couldn't take it any more. :) I called and said, "Are you talking about getting married?" "Yes." "Yes." "Yes." So now that the border is finally open and we both can finally get some time off of work (very challenging for each of us), off I am to go at the end of the year. We've talked about our physical connection and attraction and the role that making love and other forms of physical intimacy have played in our relationship, and the fact that we are older now and bodies have changed. He's still in tip-top shape and I have let him know that I've put on a few pounds (which are in the process of leaving, but THAT is where I do feel shame). He doesn't care how much of me there is to love, but I do. I'm working on letting go of the weight and the shame. Long story long, to paraphrase Annie Proulx in Brokeback, we are no longer young men with all of it before us. We have a long-range plan. It will be good for me to focus on this topic with this group, and to discuss this with my beloved, before this trip. TL;DR: I share a long-term, meta-physical/spiritual/emotional/sensual/sexual/physical bond with my incredibly sexy and erotic again-fiancΓ© whom I have not seen in several years. I talk a good game but I have insecurities and incomplete understanding just like most people. Help me focus and deepen my understanding of sexual energy. Thanks in advance. :) Namaste, love and blessings.
Alec Deull
2021-12-08 06:21:48 +0000 UTC
