Avalon - Chapter 20 - From the West
Added 2024-09-08 13:00:05 +0000 UTCOur first real taste of battle with so mnay more to come...
Comments
We get this picture in the story so far that there is battling going on all the time, everywhere some raiding, pillaging. But never any real reason, about why, why now, why here, etc. It's just happening and seems a bit senseless. But there were reasons, they may seem light to us today but they were always there. People didn't just randomly throw their lives away into constant raiding that could only lead them to a violent death sooner or later. Raiding wasn't usually constant, and not done randomly without reasons or directions. So here, why is it important? Because when writing the scene you would have to think "ok this battle, why is it happening, why now, why here?" And you would realize that well, it wouldn't. And so we would have a different scene, a different battle somewhere else, and it would make more sense. The Irish want to attack Wales. Why, and why are the Peverells aware of it? Is it raiding, or conquest? For raiding, it's all about speed and not much preparation is needed from Ireland to Wales. They already have the boats, and most likely the weapons also. You don't need a large number of men. They could literally get on the boats to raid the next day. They might prepare for a week, or two. Not much time for word to reach the Peverells, and not much preparations to do either. Raiding is a constant threat, and preparations already in place would attempt to spot such raiding parties, and intercept them. A conquest takes more men and equipment for a longer period of time, the logistics involved take time to prepare. Just the preparations will require logistics too. So it can take months, even years. Much more time for the Peverells to hear of it and start their own preparations. But then the battle happens and it doesn't look like a conquest at all, with strategic goals, plans, but much more like a completely inept attempt at raiding. Just boats rushing a defending beach and losing. And with tactics like that they should have been crushed much more heavily. Weird. There is a vague stratagem early on. An ambush. On boats... Right. The Irish know that this beach is defended. Why are they attacking here then? Or at least they suspect, but then get confirmation, and they still attack here. Yeah, weird, that still doesn't make sense to me. Why is this beach defended? Because you don't usually defend at the beach for no reason. Otherwise, what should happen is that the enemy will just attack elsewhere. The next beach will do to disembark at least, but why not raid several landing points further. For longer distances they're faster on boats, so as soon as they know where the defending enemy is they would raid elsewhere and be gone before the marching troops even came close. You can't have troops at every beach, Wales isn't lacking in coastline for the enemy to attack elsewhere. Rather than fight and impossible struggle while disembarking. Or worse, more nonsensical, planning an ambush while on boats and having to disembark still. What was the plan from the Irish? We suspect the enemy is here and doesn't know we are. We will alert them to our presence first. Then appear not to be a threat so that they lower the guard they hadn't raised in the first place. Then start an ambush! From... our slow moving boats still on the water. It's probably going to take us another 10 minutes to make it as close to shore as possible... I mean, it's rowing speed, even with sails they're not going to crash full speed into the shore. There is no telling how deep exactly the shore is, how far the boat will reach, but it will not float up all the way to dry land. These are not barges from D day with flat bottoms and the front falling off to bridge as much shallow water as possible. They will still be well into the water when they hit rock bottom. Are they dropping a ladder and going down, facing the boat, hand and feet on the ladder, shield on their back, sword at the waist, in the middle of battle? Are they jumping one or two at a time at the front of the boat into the shallower water? They don't know what they're jumping into though, they might end up knee deep into the mud or sand. In a fight. But nothing says perfectly executed ambush like a choke point of your own making at the front of each boat. Or all jumping at the sides in a scramble, the ones too far at the back likely to drown right there and then at the slightest push or unbalanced from the jump, with the weight of their equipment? They are either unprotected and slow in the water, or armed and armored, even slower and unbalanced. It's not like a surprise attack on an unsuspecting harbor, then you're jumping onto anchored boats and docks, when fighting the defensive force you're in the dry. Here, it should be a one-sided massacre. Despite it being possibly the slowest ambush of all time, somehow the defense is still struggling to keep up. They decided to investigate the initial suspicious activity with just two men. The commanders, of course. That makes sense. But they have a force nearby, in the rear. Just... apparently not quite ready? Then a third side shows up randomly. Decides to rush in, into a battle with unknown sides. Sure the invaders are clear, but still, it's not clear to the defensive side, it could so easily backfire... And what was the plan of that party anyway? What are they doing, as they leave Camelot and go into Wales to help, their plan is to roam the shoreline randomly until they stumble into an ongoing battle? Shouldn't they have gone for a local keep, a lord, a village or something? Asking about the possible threat, any defensive preparations being made, and how to coordinate with that instead? And then what the hell is Harry doing? Running around the battlefield, i'm going to chop off a few limbs on my way to this new force showing up. Doing meet and greets in battle. You're here to join? Sure, alright then, i'm off! Running back through the battlefield to tell the other commanders that we've got visitors, sword flailing in one hand, wand in the other... He is not taking the battle seriously at all. Which would be alright, if he was head and shoulders above the rest, so well trained, and so sure of his magic that only a hero of legend on the other side to match could be a threat. But then he almost dies, and just looks like an utter prick with his confidence and arrogance totally misplaced. Yeaaah, that was bad for me. It was really not a chapter that I enjoyed, or could picture the action in my head in a way that made sense. I get why it happens from a writing and plot perspective. Needing these characters from future opposing factions to meet. It would be cool to meet in battle with Harry looking badass, and spells thrown to make the Camelot side weary of magic. Then we need to see the beautiful protection magic crafted my Harry and Morgana in action, so we need a moment of weakness or something. But from the point of view of the characters, and reading trying to picture the scene and the why and the how, in my mind it fell way short and wasn't a good scene.
Jeremy Boyet
2024-09-11 15:03:33 +0000 UTCThis was... unusually bad. Really bad. None of it made any sense. I've been enjoying this story though, but I feel like we're sometimes a little more "light on the details" than your usual writing (perhaps because of a different context, medieval era instead of WWI, WWII, Grindelwald, the 70s, etc) and here it backfired.
Jeremy Boyet
2024-09-11 13:19:45 +0000 UTCEventually seeing a medieval warlord Harry dealing with Voldemort and the rest of the Wizarding World will be fun.
Perraup
2024-09-08 23:06:32 +0000 UTCTrue, Myrddin’s musings just seem very narrowly focused to me. Like he has a fixation on her and Lancelot is a side note to the affair.
Sidraef
2024-09-08 16:59:30 +0000 UTCGreat chapter! The story is coming along really well. Am a fan of all your HP stories, but this one is really gripping. Great job! Keep writing.....
Aswin Prabhakaran
2024-09-08 16:22:43 +0000 UTCThe problem is what would she do in response to Lancelot being dealt with.
Hadrian Scipio
2024-09-08 15:27:43 +0000 UTCI find it a little strange that Myrddin is so focused on her side of the affair. He is completely ignoring Lancelot as an avenue to stop it.
Sidraef
2024-09-08 15:06:13 +0000 UTCI hope when the old man hear of this, he is fucking terrified by the Peverell name like you’ve built up in your other stories
Frodran
2024-09-08 13:45:41 +0000 UTCGreat chapter. I can't wait for more.
Zai
2024-09-08 13:36:21 +0000 UTCLemme guess, a certain meddling old fool will soon be turning up to meet the Peverells.
pra86
2024-09-08 13:33:56 +0000 UTC