SL: Chapter 733 – Day 5,929 Part 3 – No More Family

I just kept staring at the headless corpse. I hadn’t been able to say goodbye even. While I had said goodbye in my heart, it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

“Michael, I am coming in,” Clarissa said. I didn’t say anything. Clarissa entered the room and stood opposite the table my mother’s corpse was resting on. “You can’t just stand here forever.”

I knew I had been here for a while. But I was just thinking about all my bad decisions. All my past mistakes.

“I will arrange a funeral,” Clarissa said and I shook my head.

“No.”

“No?” she asked.

“No. She was my mother. But she was an unremarkable woman. No grave, no funeral,” I said quietly.

“Are you sure?” Clarissa asked.

“I am. We can leave her in the wilderness, and she will vanish like everything else,” I replied. Clarissa frowned at my statement.

“If you are sure. If you change your mind, let me know,” she said, and I shook my head again. There was a pungent odor in the room, and the blood was drying out. But none of that truly mattered. She was dead and I had failed. I was a failure.

Clarissa purchased a coffin from her portable store. After that she was about to put my mother’s corpse into the coffin when I held up my hand. “Wait, I will do it,” I said. I would lay her to rest myself. It was the least I could do.

I moved around the table and paused. “I am sorry, mom. I didn’t get to say goodbye or help you. I am sorry,” I said while tears poured out. I didn’t want to cry, but this hurt more than anything else. I gently lifted up the headless corpse of my mother and laid her gently in the coffin.

Clarissa then slid the lid over the top. I noted small wheels on the coffin. “A cart?” I asked.

“Yes. Is that a problem?” she asked me.

“She will be preserved. I don’t want that. We will light it on fire,” I replied.

“Alright,” Clarissa replied. We moved the coffin out the medical room while several guards moved in and began cleaning everything up behind us. We made our way out through the airship entrance and a short distance away from the base.

It didn’t take long for Clarissa to buy the necessary materials and set the coffin ablaze. “She was a nice woman,” Clarissa said.

“Nice doesn’t get you far in the Systemic Lands. Only power. Only power,” I muttered that phrase twice. I didn’t know if I was trying to convince myself or Clarissa. I watched the flames as the coffin burned.

“What was the best thing about her?” Clarissa asked. I didn’t respond for over a minute as I thought about what I wanted to say. Clarissa didn’t say anything else while I thought over what would be a proper eulogy.

“Her patience and her love. Even when I screwed up, she would be there to help. She liked to read to me a lot as a kid. But that is in the past. The past is a shackle. Old thinking. Old rules,” I replied.

“Maybe, but it also reminds us where we came from.”

“Don’t worry, I am not about to lose my mind. I am just…whatever. I won’t break down,” I said while wiping my face. While I might have come to terms with her death, it still hurt. I wish I could have slowly melted that brat to death for what he had done.

“Would you use a meta-point to try and bring her back?” Clarissa asked. Now that was a very interesting question. I looked over at her.

“Why are you even asking that?” I was getting a bit annoyed now.

“Because it might be a possibility. And for better or worse, you are the reigning power of this place Michael. I trust you and know you are emotionally stable, but I also need to know if you are going to keep pushing forward. All these setbacks. The loss of our Empire. The failure of the votes. The loss of Amy. It would take a toll on anyone,” she said.

I knew what she was thinking. Clarissa wasn’t being mean, but she was being a bit of a bitch. But I also understood why she was asking. If I stopped pushing forward for more strength, that would give the chance others might catch up and overtake me.

She wanted to know if she had to prepare contingency plans if I wasn’t committed to being the strongest anymore. A single meta-point was far more valuable than anything else, especially since the multipliers multiplied against each other.

That made my third meta-point far more valuable than any other previous meta-point. That was why she was asking me. Could I push away going from a nine times boost to a twenty seven times boost just for a chance to bring back my mother.

“She is dead. Trying to bring her back…she is dead,” I replied and Clarissa just nodded slightly at my statement.

While she was a friend, she was also the only other leader of this place. The only one who could ask me such a question. So, while she was being a bit of a bitch by asking it, I respected her enough to answer, even while my mother’s body burned to ashes.

I didn’t even get to say anything to her properly. That was what annoyed me the most. It wasn’t just an annoyance, but a deep scar on my heart. If she was going to die, I would have liked to say goodbye at least.

“Finding family members isn’t a boon,” I said.

“What?” Clarissa asked me.

“It was a mistake looking for them and setting up a system to try and catch them as part of the new arrivals. It isn’t worthwhile,” I replied.

“Are you sure? I was planning to start it up again. It was one of my long term goals,” Clarissa said.

“Do what you want, but I have no more family. They are all dead,” I said. It wasn’t worth it trying to catch them when they arrived. It would only distract me going forward. The death of my mother proved this. While I didn’t consider this wasted time, the pain I was feeling, wasn’t something I wanted to experience again.

It was best to consider them all dead. Trying to cling onto hope would just make it worse. And ultimately, it was my searching for my family among the arrivals that led to my mother’s death. I had been too naïve thinking that I was strong enough that my enemies wouldn’t take advantage.

I was strong in a fight, but in terms of scheming I was far behind. Being anonymous would be far better protection than anything I could give. I could only protect myself, not other people.

“If that is what you want,” Clarissa said, and I nodded.

“It is what I want. I have no more family. Only a small circle of friends,” I replied while I kept staring at the flames that were slowly dying down.

“I am sorry for your loss,” Clarissa said. I just nodded and didn’t say anything. I had no more tears to shed.

I had killed countless people. People with mothers, people with families. But now that I had lost a family member of my own, I felt a deep seated hurt within me. This place was truly unfair. It would be tempting to hope for a meta-point to revive my mother, but ultimately I had never even considered it.

When I had gotten my second meta-point, I hadn’t thought about reviving her or fixing what was done to her. It had never crossed my mind. Even now, it hadn’t crossed my mind either as something to seriously consider. My mother would understand and would want me to live.

But the past was the past, I had to look at the future. While I was the strongest, I couldn’t stop progressing and widening the gap between me and everyone else. That gap had to grow to an insurmountable level. So big that level 13 monsters would run away from me. That I wouldn’t be afraid of anything. That my stats and skills were so powerful that I was a human god.

There was nothing else left for me. No other way forward. Hoping for easy answers or solutions was never going to happen. This place was a constant struggle. The vote was always a mirage. The truth was that only power mattered. Power to kill or be killed.

Everything else was ultimately a distraction from that core truth. As the flames turned to coals and ashes, I said another silent prayer to the Almighty System. ‘Let her soul be at peace. Let her rest.’

I didn’t think that would happen. No doubt there would be some scheme in the future using her visage or memories against me. Trying to leverage this moment of weakness. But it wouldn’t work. There was only power now. Power that I had to grow. That was the true ending of this place.

To become so strong that I could go anywhere, to break the boundaries of this place. To see what lay beyond. This place was ultimately a cage, a prison. While it might have been a common theme to talk about the purpose of all of this, ultimately it was a defined area with limits.

I needed to break through those limits. To keep fighting, to keep getting meta-points, enough that I was so strong that I could see what lay beyond. That was the true barrier. Everything else was a distraction. Not a distraction, but just dressing or a side dish.

The ashes swirled and blew away, I didn’t move, looking at the glowing goals. Clarissa stayed as well. She was worried, but she had no reason to be. She was right, even if it was rude to ask me right after my mother’s death. I needed to become stronger. The bastard thought he had a chance. There would be no more chances. Not for anyone else, ever again.

“There is something else, Michael,” Clarissa finally spoke up.

“What?” I asked, annoyed that she interrupted my thoughts.

“Doctor Katz. He has broken mentally,” she replied.

“The good doctor? Why? I didn’t even threaten him,” I replied, and she shook her head.

“I suspect it is deeper than that. The calamity killed so many. You know that the more empathic people struggle adjusting to this place. Doctor Katz…losing your mother like he did was the straw that broke the camel’s back,” she said.

“And what do you expect me to do about it?” I asked.

“I wanted your opinion on what to do?” she asked back. I shook my head.

“It isn’t something I plan to deal with. I will leave it up to you. If he can recover, he can recover. If he can’t, he can’t. I…while I don’t blame him, I can’t forgive him for failing either. You understand?”

“I do. That was why I am asking. I will try and sort him out,” Clarissa replied.

“Weakness is not just one’s stats but one’s mindset. Doctor Katz, while a great man, is ultimately weak. To break like he has. To shed tears is fine, but to give up over people dying. Weak,” I said.

“Not everyone is like you,” Clarissa replied.

“I know. If he can’t keep going, he should train a replacement. We need more doctors of his caliber. He might have failed, but he has useful knowledge and skills,” I coldly replied. While I was upset with the good doctor, ultimately he wasn’t to blame. The blame rested on others and myself for rushing things.

***

AN: Slight delay on next chapter. I was emotionally wrung out from all of this.