雑談

Sigh… wanted to make a post to rant a bit and also talk on some recent situation… For the past few months it has been quite stressing for me… It was really good that I manage to pull through and finished “Richelieu X Le Malin : Bubble tea shop”, such super difficult idea that I have store in my mind for year, but unfortunately nothing works out as well as I hoped… I thought this set of drawing will be a big hit, but instead it barely got any publicity, with a very lackluster viewcount on pixiv, which seems to be an ongoing pattern as my latest works struggle to gain any views. This heavily damage my self-confidence and makes me question if my art skill has decline or is my new works simply not interesting anymore… Then suddenly I was hit by many emails from Gumroad, and it turns out a person somehow manage to find a loophole in the Gumroad payment, and scammed me of 30+ products without paying at all… I have been contacting both Gumroad and Paypal, but given how their customer service are somewhat useless, I doubt I can get my money back… The stress combining with the bad sleeping pattern and lack of exercise, has lead to numerous health problem recently… I have been suffering from Chronic Pharyngitis recently, sometimes it got so bad it feels like I cannot breathe when I lie down in bed… There were times I actually scared of dying then almost got into a panic attack… Then back pain, chest pain, all sort of bullshiet because I never really take care of body properly… Overall the whole situation is a big mess and it just makes me feel more depressed about my choices in life that lead to my current situations… Lots of regret thinking maybe I should just stop drawing, that this was a huge mistake and I should have never take on this challenge doing something I am not even good at… Emo-ness aside, I actually feel somewhat motivated during past few weeks when I start working on the Onsen drawing. I aimed to finish it before the 5th anniversary of Azur Lane Japanese server, but from the looks of it now it is very unlikely I can achieve that… For the past few days I have been trying to colour some of the characters, but something just doesn’t feel right… So I decide to compare some of my shitty works to the pro artists’ stuff, and I realize my choice of skin colours are actually quite terrible… I don’t know when did I start using the colours I am currently using, but it simply looks too yellowy and I really need a new set of colours so the characters will look paler and prettier… So after days of struggles, I think I finally got something that works… I used the recent “Richelieu X Le Malin” to test out the new colours, after much struggled, I manage to get something that looks somewhat decent, and hopefully can help make future drawings look more attractive… Please let me know what you guys think of this >< Anyway, sorry for long post, thanks for reading.