Update

Hello its Jinu, its been a month maybe a bit over now, I wanted to make this post to give a general update on things moving forward with this patreon and my own mental health journey.
I've been debating a lot with myself what I want to do as far as posting art here and running this account and I think id like to continue doing so even if its not for long. Sorry for not making this post any sooner honestly I didnt know what to say for the longest but I know that I don't want to run away from what I want just because I fucked up. But even though i did mess up I cant be stuck on that forever, time moves on is what I'm trying to stick in my head. I still havent forgiven myself for everything, Its what a lot of therapy has been about lately, learning to move on or not judging current situations, a lot of practicing mindfulness. I think getting back to doing something I want will help a lot with that too.

Even then I still don't want to try and garner any sympathy. I also feel I should address this I appreciate anything positive done for me or said to me in the last month but please don't ever go out of your way to defend my actions from back then. I appreciate all the support in the world but defending someone and supporting them are two different things yknow. The support yall give me from allowing me to grow and change, seeing that everyone makes mistakes and things aren't so black and white is what really helps.
I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, like most people but I try to learn from them. I want to be a better person, kinder, more understanding and I think taking responsibility for things is the first step in all of that.

As far as the patreon goes though id like to keep it going a little longer. I miss drawing i cant lie especially for those who genuinely enjoy what I make. I want to create, its my motivation and its my passion. If you all will have me id like to continue on, I cant say ill produce art on the rate that i used to though, As im not online as much these days but id still like to and finish some previous stuff and some ideas ive had for a while now too.

Sorry again for the late notice but the patreon will charge again tomorrow, with that being said I wont be opening my server back up. I don't want to try and force myself back into this community I'm personally not comfortable with it right now. I'm not online much anymore and because of that I don't think i have the right to run a big server like I used to. If you wish to get a commission from me cause youre in the bigger tier of the patreon you'll still be able to work with me if that's what you want but that's about it. WIPs will still be posted here for the appropriate tiers and we'll see how polls go, I still wanna do them if you guys want but I'd like to pace myself first. Thank you in advance for understanding and if you have any questions about that stuff feel free to DM me on here, I'll get to you as soon as I can.
So If you would no longer wish to support me please do cancel your subscription by tonight or the morning.
Though I guess at this point if youre still here you probably know what youre doing.

Lastly I wanna say thank you for sticking around, Its been a journey for me and even then it doesn't stop. Therapy saved my life, good friends who give me all the support I need helped me not give up and gave me the drive to live a healthier and happier lifestyle, from getting out more to eating better and working on myself. Things I didnt even know about I learned from books I read or practices my therapist had me participate in, they not only help me understand myself better but set me on the right track like dopamine fasting, Self-binding and learning about how to balance pleasure and pain. Long read I know but if you stuck it through I appreciate it and yeah, ill have some stuff soon. Thanks for your time.

TLDR: I still struggle with forgiving myself I think a step toward that would be doing more of what i love, and that's art. I still got a lot more growing to do as a person, but for those who stuck around the support is super appreciated but please never defend my past actions, If you choose to forgive me thank you, if not youre probably not reading this anyways. Most importantly the Patreon is gonna back up, i cant promise more years and years of art but lets ride this thing till the wheels come off. Thanks for everything <3