Kim

The Fourth Yama, Brahmacharya

Added 2023-06-21 14:40:26 +0000 UTC

When Patanjali wrote the Yoga Sutras, there was a strict interpretation of Brahmacharya as total abstinence. At the time, many practitioners were renunciates who had already shunned the material world as part of their dedication to their spiritual life, so it was likely a bit-of-a no-brainer. In our own time, Yoga has evolved to include people from all over the world, in every conceivable walk of life, and celibacy isn’t conducive to many lifestyles.

Before we continue…

I’ve been deeply challenged to write this month’s philosophy theme. Not because I have a particular issue with celibacy or the more modern, and broader definition of moderation, and non-excess. I have experienced long periods where I have been celibate, and they weren’t painful or difficult. I practice moderation and non-excess daily, as any person who loves the taste of chocolate and pizza might. Yet there is another way we define Brahmacharya, and that’s Right-use-of-Energy. I think this is where my challenge lies.

I have a history of over-pouring myself into others. I’ve worked more hours on my feet than my body could recover from because I wanted to be reliable. I’ve ignored my boundaries and taken on the emotions of others so they could feel supported, despite feeling depleted myself. I tended to be focused on the healing and caretaking of friends, family, and lovers so much that my own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs were gleefully placed in the back seat.

I don’t say all this to make it about me. I say all this because the last four attempts to write about Brahmacharya without telling you about my work through this have so far resulted in some uninspired words. And so, to share the meaning & practice of Brahmacharya with you means practicing Satya (truthfulness). Okay, maybe this will be easier now.

Back to it…

Overworking is likely a place many people can relate to at some point in their lives. I’ve heard many folks talking about how long they’ve gone without a holiday or day off as if it’s some kind of badge of honour. Shunning rest as though it's optional and something only lazy people might indulge in. Our ego loves to feel important, and it’ll do anything and everything it can to feel this sense of importance. What doesn’t make the ego feel puffed up, larger than life, and super important? Rest. The ego doesn’t feel important when we’re resting, and so we work too much.

Have you ever met someone new - maybe you’re starting a new romantic or sexual relationship, and rather than living your normal life and finding ways to include them, you find yourself cancelling plans with friends, skipping out on those classes you were excited to sign up for, and completely ignoring the hobbies that bring you a sense of purpose and joy?

Spending time with someone new is wonderful, exciting, and fun, yet it can be easy to overindulge in their essence, presence, and body. We can become gluttons with our desires until spending time with this person is no longer the meaningful experience it once was and it loses its sweetness. Practicing Brahmacharya means dealing with our passion or sexuality and other desires in a way that uplifts them as sacred & life-giving rather than excessive.

We can apply this to anything we enjoy. A little of this is good, then a lot of it is going to be the best, and instead, we grow tired and bored, disinterested and miserable. Moderation means enjoying that little bit of a thing. It allows us to see the beauty and wonder in the mundane. We notice the magic of the world around us because we aren’t oversaturating ourselves with any one thing. That piece of dark chocolate you let melt in your mouth becomes a sacred ritual. Holding space for a pal to open up becomes a cherished offering of listening. Making love becomes a divine connection.

We overindulge as a way to bring us relief from our pain, to cope with life, and to avoid our emotions. If we are to grow and step into our power, we must be fearless in facing sadness, grief, and disappointments without needing to soothe them with food or sex. We cannot grow on our spiritual path without recognizing how essential our energy is to our realization, when we recognize the importance of our vital energy, we practice the right use of it. We practice Brahmacharya.

Practices for off your mat:

1. Pay attention to how you use your energy every day. Nourish your body and mind with what it needs and enjoys, without going to a place of excess.

2. Set boundaries. Honour your boundaries. In your work/life balance, social media time, and anywhere else you notice you lean toward overdoing.

3. Honour yourself & others as sacred.

4. Be patient, and enter each action, interaction, and day with the intention of finding balance.

Journalling Prompts: