Feeling a bit better

Like I said previously, This week end I was invited to a themed wedding.
I was really anxious of having to face a dizzy spell coming out of nowhere.

The last time I went to a party was 8 months ago  ( last time I was out to go anywhere else other than going to a doctor appointment)

And I had a blast !! First time in a whole full year I'm so happy. I got to forget the pain and the dizziness for a few hours. My old self got a chance to come back to life !
I had the dress in my closet for 2 years, I bought it at the Opera Comique in paris during a private sale. I should have bought more, the costumes are magnificent and 100%  handmaid

At first I was shaking because of too much emotions and too many people , head spinning, strong muscles aches . That's when I took the first 3 pictures above. I was feeling like I was going to pass out. ( Totally invisible I know.)


But then, as the day went on I started relaxing and chatting with more ease ( star wars talk makes anybody at ease though Xd) , I felt better and better.

When they put music on I was literally fidgeting with my butt stuck on my chair . I wanted to dance so badly. ! From the couch,  I started playing with a little kid  and she made me laugh and having fun, and then there I was , standing up and moving my body, dancing ( not really the word but close XD), despite the pain !!! I couldn't believe it  ( my friends who have seen me not even being able to walk 20 meters had their mouth agape).


I didn't sleep at all that night, I was too excited,  and I had to take pills to help me calm down on the morning  before entering into a full panic attack mode . ( my nervous system is a mess, causing mania , panic attacks, pain, etc etc)

Now 2 days after , pain and dizziness have returned , especially fatigue but I feel happier. Hope is back. (I was getting really depressed and all I needed was to see some friends and have fun!) and I'm not stuck in bed!

I guess my body offered me a big shot of endorphins .
My friends getting married were having the best day of their life and without knowing it they offered my best day of the year !

When I was looking at them, lost in each others, I was wondering if someday I'll get the chance to experience the same.

Thank you for being so supportive and staying with me. A bientôt !