Behind The Songs: Lonesome (Ep 7)

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Nice to have YOU anyhow.. This one actually helped... Thank you... 💚

Hey, Kina. This one got to me for a number of reasons. Finally in my adult life pursuing testing for ADHD, anxiety, depression, and OCD. I feel alone so often and am really convinced no one actually understands. I remember first hearing this song and just relating so much, and honestly just assuming it had more to do with your introversion than anything else. Come to find out there's a whole other layer to it and I've gone through similar struggles myself.... It just helps to know that there are other people who actually can relate, and have found effective coping tools (like music and songwriting)similar to myself. Putting on a happy face SUCKS when I'm not feeling it. Ugh. I know. I am thankful that many days my students can help me forget my worries because they're so awesome. Anyway. What I'm trying to say is thank you for your vulnerability and honesty in this video. I've struggled with lots of mental health issues over the years and have only been actively taking care of myself for about the last 4 years or so. It's a process, but I'm doing okay. I try to remember that none of us are really alone even though I may feel like I am. Your song can remind me of this.

thanks for being so brave & honest kina, i have dealt with some sadness the last few years. it’s definitely hard for me express “it”, let alone describe “it”. it just doesn’t make sense at times. “lonesome” made me feel less alone. your album is helping me get through the difficult days...thank you. <3

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Sometimes I wish I have the creative talent to express "it" to others, which is why I am really grateful for "Lonesome," because, I can just say "Here, let Kina explain to you how I'm feeling. She understands."

dear Kina, thank you for the million times you made me feel so much less broken. i remember someone telling me that i make myself feel sad. and whether i believed them or not, it took a lifetime to learn that i could stop pretending that i didn't feel what i did.

This is why I love your music and everything you do so much! Thank you for sharing your stories and being vulnerable and honest - you have no idea how much this whole album helped me getting through difficult times <3

I really need to hear this one now and your songs and story behind it are the best. It fuels me with love, courage and lot of beautiful things in life 💕

Thank you so much for this song and the explaination behind it. Thank you for all the times you are real and honest about your struggles. I cant relate to them all, but I 100% relate this one(among others). I've this "happy mask" most of my life and it's never been enough. People always see through it. I'd get complaints from past relationships that I'm too serious or not happy enough. I'd try my best but it wasnt ever enough. Now in my 30s, it seems to be hitting me harder than ever and I dont have the desire to put on a show anymore so I secluded myself a lot. I've had to file for fmla at work bc I've missed work for anxiety attacks and have started crying when a client is "mean". I told my boss I feel ashamed bc idk of anyone else that struggles with this like I do. They may have similar issues, but I seem to be the only one falling apart. Someone recently told me their theory is that I've had to live in "survival mode" most of my life in order to simply function with some level of normality from everything I've been through, and now that life is finally stabilizing, my mind and body are trying to process the years of pain I couldn't allow myself the time or space to process. It's very inconvenient. I have to be an adult that has a high functioning, high stress job. I feel alone and like I'm crazy sometimes and it helps tremendously to know someone else, someone I look up to and respect, might know what it's like and is going through it too. So thank you...for making me feel less alone.

😭❤️ I love this so so much. xo

Yesterday as I walked around the yard, I found a praying mantis stuck in a spider's web. It wasn't moving except for a little twitch of the leg. I put it in a shaded area and hoped for the best. When I returned today, it was up and moving but web stuck around its body making movement difficult. I put my hand down and it climbed on. It stayed still while I worked on getting the web off of its body. After a few moments the web was off and I watched as it walked over my hand and up my arm. With my little passenger on board, I went to another part of the yard and placed it on some of the tall grasses. I said my goodbye and went into the house for lunch. That is when I saw today's bts video. I smiled because today was one of those days when I woke up feeling a bit down. And then a little critter shared some time with me and helped me through it. I removed its webs. It removed mine. Sorry so wordy.

I can't express how much Lonesome resonates with me, longing for connection but not feeling comfortable with it. Waking up to "it" is the worst. But I believe it's trying to tell us something and we can help ourselves by listening.