Kina Diaries: Balance
Added 2017-02-07 20:24:34 +0000 UTCBalance is a tricky thing, isn't it? It's been on my mind a lot lately. Between writing songs, learning covers, shooting videos, connecting on social media, keeping on top of emails, planning shows, exercising, maintaining friendships, being a good sister/daugher/wife, fueling my body, taking care of my mind, making sure i'm working on myself, keeping my living space at a respectable level of un-explodedness (which is hard for me), getting outside, feeling grateful, etc, I often step back and find myself severly lacking in some of these areas. I suppose it's good to feel the push and pull of different aspects of my life shouting for attention (otherwise I might wake up in 10 years having absolutely killed it on the social media front, reveling in human connectedness and interaction, living out my days on livestreams, only to find that I'd forgotten during that time that the reason this all started was music) but sometimes it gets a little overwhelming when I try to imagine how it all possible fits in, how it all possibly gets done.
Right now I'm on the other end of that make believe scenario. I'm feeling completely inspired, writing lots of songs, feeling like I have so many more to write, compiling lists and lists of songs I suddenly feel compelled to cover, making grand plans to record all of these RIGHT NOW (though no, I haven't started), dreaming of touring again, entertaining an idea for a podcast, wanting to push myself to take some more hip hop classes again (but why is it so scary)... meanwhile I feel like I've gone a bit quiet on the internet front again, I haven't been connecting as much to the humans in my real life either, I've got some work on myself that needs tending to, and my bedroom floor is still covered in all the clothes and left over merch I brought on my trip last week. So on the one hand, I am so excited and feeling full of potential and growth, and on the other hand, I'm like "Oh, shoot."
I'm trying to remind myself everything fluctuates. That I should grab hold of this creative burst while it lasts and ride it out. That he internet isn't going anywhere (I hope?!). But I feel it's pull on a daily basis, like a little negleted child in the corner of the room occasionally crying out, "Hey! I'm starving! Help!" And then there are the quiet, patient taps on the shoulder from the real people in my life, and the piles of stuff accumulating on my floors, and my unaddressed social anxiety (a post for another time), and those, I know, I direly need to find the space and time for.
There's a quote I've been reminding myself of lately that I really love, and it goes like this:
"Nature never hurries, yet all is accomplished."
Being someone who is incredibly inspired by and in love with all things nature, this really resonated with me. When I'm feeling this urgency to do every single thing at every little moment, this helps. I picture a tree, steadily growing taller and stronger year after year for hundreds of years. It takes the sunlight it is given, soaks up the water available, feeds its leaves, mends its injuries, and just carries on. No rushing. No race to the finish line. No comparing itself to other trees, or feeling like it should be something its not. No being hard on itself when there isn't any rain. Not resisting when it is time to let go of everything it's worked for once a year when autumn comes around. I'd like to live more at this pace. To do what I can, when I can, with the resources, opportunities, and time presented to me, and to be content with that. And then, to wake up the next day, and the one after that, and the one after that, and do it all again.
Not sure if I'm still talking about balance or if this turned into an ode to trees, but it is what it is, I suppose.
All in all, I'm feeling inspired. Not sure if I'll be getting to more covers first or finally recording some of these new originals, but I am really excited about all of it, and I am so honored and grateful I have people like you to share it all with.
Thanks <3
Kina
Comments
Ohhh, isn't the voice of life and a story so true and resonant? Thank you for sharing this and for your humanness and all the fumblings, magic, beauty, chaos and love that comes with it. "Nature never hurries, yet all is accomplished." - a worthy and purposeful reminder, and much appreciated at that. Describing your life, your mind, your vision through trees - I found myself there. Thanking you and loving you as a wonderful creator, sharer, storyteller and being Kina! Thank you for keeping the connection alive <3
2017-03-02 03:14:45 +0000 UTCSometimes I succeed at balance; sometimes I fail. That is when I remind myself life is constantly changing with nearly infinite variables ... my duty is to pursue balance, health, happiness. All that I can promise to myself and others is my best effort.
2017-02-09 17:21:04 +0000 UTCI resonate with this so very much. Thank you, kina, for sharing your truth. PS: yay trees! π³
Nathan Maingard
2017-02-09 10:21:06 +0000 UTCThank you so much for once again sharing your heart and deepest thoughts on life with us. β€ Nature and all the beauty it holds has always had a profound impact on me, too. A recurring fantasy I would entertain when I was younger is being able to stop time and get everything I wanted to do accomplished before restarting the clock. I now see that this wouldn't really solve my problems and that I instead need to make important decisions on what to give my time to, similar to how I spend my money. But the fact that our time is so limited makes it very valuable, and in turn makes life itself that much more beautiful.
Gianni Babino
2017-02-08 14:47:46 +0000 UTCVery insightful and intelligent - and charming.
2017-02-08 08:33:20 +0000 UTCHello Kina from Japan!π I'm Kotoko. I'm really glad cause I can say hi to you and leave a comment to your post like this now! Im learning English now, so I couldn't understand all you said yet...but I really like the quote and it resonated with me too. And I really like the way you think as well!πBasically life is wonderful, I appreciate everything I have, but sometimes Im pretty overwhelmed with my environment including my family, work, things I want to do and some ideas like I should be like this or like that... And now, I think I needed to read this your diary, because I think I'd been kinda overwhelmed again lately. But I'm okayπ I'm not gonna hurry any more. I'm gonna try to accept everything as it is, and taste it. Thank you Kina! You inspire me a lot, you and your songs heal me always, I really really like you Kina!!β€οΈοΈI'll support you forever!ππΌThank you!And thank you for reading! Tons of love from Japan, from my heartπβ€οΈοΈπ Kotoko
2017-02-08 07:36:04 +0000 UTC(Hate it when i press Enter too early..) Anyhow, I found I had to choose which of the things in my life got any of my time, and how much. All the choices seemed bad, like I was reneging on prior commitments, until I found a simple way to prioritize: Give time to the things that would ruin my life if they were to go away. Suddenly it became easier to let go of social and work commitments, and to carefully plan time with family and dear friends. And to invest time in the things that bring me joy (music, triathlon) and help make me the person I hope to become. It *is* about balance. But not trying to balance everything that's ever been in your life. Rather, it's about balancing what you want to be in your life each day, and how much. I got very good at asking friends and associates to give me space for the other things in my life. I got good at being sloppy, with the promise that things WOULD be cleaned, and cleaned well, but not as often. What became the #1 priority in my life? When I went through and reprioritized everything, it turned out that consistent sleep was what I needed most in order to make every minute of every day count. #2 was eating better: I can whip together a great meal , from scratch, in less time than it takes to go get take-out. And for less cost than frozen or instant food. Time spent cooking is time well spent! #3 is hanging with the friends and family who charge me up the most. Sure, I do have friends and family who could use some support from me, but when the crunch is on they need to make do with less from me. That was a particularly hard one for me. With those in place, I find I have fewer limits on what I can accomplish. That is, I can indeed have it all, for the right definition of "all".
BobC
2017-02-08 05:39:09 +0000 UTC"My time is not my own." I don't know who said that first, but it's true in my life. I find I give my time to things, and once given, that thing seems to own it. I recently had some major things come storming into my life that demanded large chunks of my my time over several months. Not all bad, not by any means, but it threw my comfortable life patterns into total disarray.
BobC
2017-02-08 05:24:49 +0000 UTCIt was great seeing you and Jesse at the Mod Club a week and a half ago! You were both awesome, as always! A piece of advice from an old guy. Distil your life down to what you love. I think that I'd be right when I state that you would put love at the top of your list. Your love for Jesse, your family, your band, your friends. Give them your time and attention in person. Be present. Your music and nature would likely be tied for second. Your fans and supporters might be in third spot. Yes, you still have to deal with all of the day to day details of living, but if you prioritize things by what you love, it's hard to go wrong. Kevin
2017-02-08 05:02:04 +0000 UTChello
2017-02-08 03:14:27 +0000 UTCI only just started an account on this site and haven't commented anywhere yet, But I just want to say thank you for sharing your thoughts and just being real. It's not easy to do. I get it. I have always loved playing music and singing, but with three little ones under 4, it's so hard to have a moment to breathe let alone play music. Only a couple of weeks ago I started a YouTube channel and i love it! It's something I did for myself. And even though life gets overwhelming and the laundry is piled high, i know that it's okay if I don't get to it right away. I need to enjoy my loved ones and put a little bit of that spare time into focusing on my passions. Thank you again, Kina β€
2017-02-08 03:11:19 +0000 UTCYour diaries stories should be made into book.. i will borrow your quote and apply it in my life. Thanks kina π
2017-02-08 02:38:55 +0000 UTCI love this post. π I'm a music creator here on patreon too & I feel the same exact way! You hit all the points. It really resonates with me!
Kari @ CelestialBlueMusic
2017-02-08 00:51:55 +0000 UTC
