Population Boom, Hogwarts Part 7

Allen pulled his attention off the young woman's breasts that were practically falling out of her t-shirt as she leaned over the counter. "How can I help you?"

"Jameson sent me down here to grab the Dursley will, can you help me out?" Twist asked hopefully.

"Do you have the paperwork?" Allen asked the intern, knowing she didn't since she was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. 'Is she even legal?' he mused, not sure if he should send Jameson a bottle of brandy for his choice in interns or write a report because she was a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.

"No, he just told me to rush down here and grab the will," Twist complained, doing her best to seem like a rather clueless intern that just wanted to keep her job.

"I can give you a copy, if that doesn't work, tell Jameson to file the paperwork," Allen offered, hoping that helped.

"You're a lifesaver," Twist told the clerk.

"What's the full name and address?" Allen asked.

"Vernon Dursley, Number 4 Privet Drive Surrey," Twist offered.

"Easy enough, I'll be right back," Allen told her then headed into the filing room to grab the will.

"You're up," Twist whispered once he was gone.

"Thanks," Mist replied in a whisper, slipped around the counter and followed the clerk into the filing room. 'I'll take a ring of invisibility over a cloak any day of the week,' he mused as he made his way through the cluttered filing room, glad that he didn't have to worry about a cloak while sneaking around. 'This would be so much easier if they had everything in an electronic database. Then again, they'd have backups and electronic copies scattered all over the place that I'd have to worry about or cameras.'

"Surrey," Allen muttered to himself as he walked over to a pair of blue filing cabinets and opened the drawer labeled Dm to Dz.

'Job security,' Mist mused as he looked at the collection of mismatched filing cabinets scattered around the room. He waited until the clerk found the correct paperwork and made a photocopy of the will, barely even bothering to glance at the name on the top of the page. 'That makes everything easier.' He followed the Clerk back to the counter and hit him in the back with a confundus charm. "She wanted a copy of the Donaldson will, which is what you made a copy of."

Allen blinked a couple of times then handed the intern the copy. "If that doesn't work, feel free to come back and bother me. Just make sure he signs the right paperwork."

"Absolutely," Twist replied cheerfully then grabbed the copy and headed for the door with a spring in her steps.

'That went better than I was expecting,' Mist thought as he followed Twist out of the records room.

Twist glanced around to make sure no one was watching them. "Now that?"

"Now we head to an empty office and I type up something a bit more reasonable," Mist replied, looking forward to seeing Marge's face when she realized that Vernon hadn't left her anything.

"And by reasonable, you mean you're taking him to the cleaners?" Twist asked with a grin as they headed down the hallway.

"Of course not, no one would actually believe that he left us anything and Marge would contest it which would be a pain in the ass," Mist replied as he used magic to unlock the door without a name plate over it, figuring there was less chance of anyone noticing that he'd moved something in a generic office than in someone's personal space. He opened the door and stepped inside after making sure that there wasn't anyone inside and that there was in fact a computer on the desk and a printer. "On the other hand, if Vernon just happened to end up falling into a wood chipper and Petunia inherited everything, Marge would be out of luck."

"How are you going to arrange that?" Twist asked.

"A bit of transfiguration to make a copy of Vernon, a couple of confusion charms on their neighbors to create some witnesses and a metamorph to play the grieving widow," Mist replied with a smile as he turned the computer on.

"Do you need help tossing the body in the woodchipper?" Twist asked, figuring he might need help since any proper fake would be annoyingly heavy.

"That would certainly make it easier," Mist admitted as he sat down at the desk and grabbed the copy of the will so he could figure out how to rewrite it in a way that looked official.

"Happy to be of service," Twist replied with a smile, slightly annoyed that she wouldn't be able to toss the real Vernon into a woodchipper after hearing some of Harry's stories about the man.

"You're part of the family," Mist assured her.

"Where are we going next?" Twist asked, curious how they were going to spend the rest of the four hours they had before they caught up with their past selves and had to get back to Hogwarts.

"The hospital, I want to see if my Regeneration spell works on brain damage," Mist replied as he pulled up a word document and started typing.

"It's worth a try," Twist agreed. "We should probably just hit the whole floor to keep people from realizing we targeted Neville's parents."

Mist glanced at Twist. "How did you know I was thinking about Neville's parents?"

"I might have read Neville's journal, and it seems like something you’d do," Twist admitted.

"Why?" Mist asked.

"I was bored and the edge was poking out from under his pillow," Twist replied as she sat down on the desk.

"Do I need to have Hermione give you a lecture about reading people's diaries?" Mist asked as he went back to typing, making a mental note to pick up more books at the bookstore to keep her busy.

"No, it's not a diary, he's a boy, that means it's a journal, therefore I didn't break any rules," Twist argued, knowing she probably owed Neville an apology and maybe a lap dance for reading his journal without permission. "Besides, I'd rather just apologize and offer to let him spank me to make up for it, her morality lectures are long and annoyingly detailed."

Mist shook his head. "You'd probably cause him to pass out if you offered and I doubt he'd actually enjoy spanking you or appreciate people knowing about his parents."

"Do you want to spank me?" Twist asked hopefully.

"I'm not going to reward you for reading someone's journal without permission, if you want to get spanked, just ask when we're not doing something illegal and potentially dangerous," Mist told her as he worked on typing up Vernon's will so he could tweak it.

"Deal," Twist replied with a grin, making a mental note to flash Neville as an apology for reading his journal.

0o0o0

'This would be easier if I had a S.E.P. field,' Mist thought as he stepped out of the way of a healer that was running down the hallway. 'He's going to be depressed if I can't heal his parents and he reads about everyone getting healed, maybe I should have started with them so I'd have more time to make sure it worked? Then again, it's Neville, he might just be happy that some of the people got to go home,' he mused as he walked over to the door of the room where Frank and Alice were staying.

Mist double checked the hallway to make sure no one was watching the door then opened it and quickly hit both of the Longbottoms with his Regeneration spell, trying not to focus on how thin and out of it they looked. He closed the door then slipped into the shadow realm heading for the exit to the hospital.

Mist jumped when he caught sight of a strange creature out of the corner of his eye lurking behind a desk. He pulled his wand out of his inventory and spun to look at where he'd seen the creature or at least where he'd thought he'd seen the creature as there was nothing there.

Mist glared at the desk for a couple of seconds then glanced around to make sure nothing was sneaking up on him. He gave the desk one more dark look then continued toward the exit, not seeing the creature that was hiding behind the desk hoping the strange human hadn't seen him as he didn't want to deal with the paperwork.

'You're jumping at shadows,' Mist told himself as he headed toward the exit. He glanced between the door to the stairs and the door to the elevator then focused on the window that someone had opened for a bit of fresh air. 'Was that opened in the real world?'

'Screw it,' Mist thought as he flew over to the window and slipped outside. He slipped back into the real world and sighed in relief as the feeling of being watched vanished. 'You're getting worse than Moody.'

He took a breath then exhaled it slowly in an attempt to calm down, something that was ruined by his watch alarm beeping, letting him know that he needed to hurry if he wanted to make his appointment with the Minister. He quickly pushed the button to turn it off, glad that it hadn't gone off while he was sneaking around the hospital. 'That took longer than I thought,' he admitted as he flew across the street to the outdoor cafe where Twist was waiting for him. "Ready?"

"Sure," Twist replied as she grabbed her milkshake and stood up. "Did you run into any problems?" she asked in a whisper as she started walking toward the alley, wanting to get out of sight before teleporting back to the Leaky Cauldron.

"We're good," Mist assured her as he followed her. "I managed to heal half most of the patients before the healers started running around like chickens with their heads cut off."

"Did you trip a ward?" Twist asked as they ducked into the alley.

"Not that I know of but they might have stuck the wards on the back of the doors or maybe one of the patients started screaming about ghosts opening their door," Mist replied as he glanced around the alley to make sure no one was around to see them leave.

Twist grabbed Mist's arm and teleported back to the room that he'd rented for the day in the Leaky Cauldron. "At least everything…" she trailed off as someone knocked on the door.

Mist quickly swapped his wand for the large bag of coins in his inventory, dropped his invisibility and cast his Mage Hand spell, conjuring a glowing blue hand that promptly unlocked the door and pulled it open, revealing Tonks and Fudge. "Excellent timing, please come in," he said cheerfully as he set the bag on the table, knowing Fudge was greedy enough that he'd at least hear him out.

Fudge glanced between the attractive girl with shoulder length blue hair, the large bag of coins sitting on the table and the young man wearing a black domino mask that was lounging on the room's only chair. "Tonks mentioned you had a sizable campaign contribution."

"Provided that I can have a few minutes of your time," Mist replied with a smile, doing his best to hide his feelings toward the corrupt bastard.

"Of course," Fudge replied as he walked into the room.

Tonks' clone smiled coldly as she pulled her wand out of her sleeve and pointed it at Fudge's back. "Stupify."

Mist shivered as he was reminded that Tonks' mother was a Black. "You enjoyed that way too much."

"I joined the aurors to make a difference, not to give rich purebloods a slap on the wrist before letting them walk, he made it really hard to actually do my job," the clone grumbled as she stepped into the room and closed the door.

"That's fair," Mist replied as he reached down and touched Fudge's neck, picking up his pattern.

"Now what?" the clone asked.

"That depends, how good are you at human transfiguration?" Mist asked thoughtfully as he shoved Fudge into his inventory, causing him to vanish.

"Decent, why?" the clone asked.

"I'm sort of curious if the children of transfigured animals inherit magic," Mist replied as he pulled Fudge's clothes out of inventory and dropped them on the desk, leaving him in his underwear.

"No clue," the clone admitted, figuring it was worth a try. "Frogs, pandas, or dogs?"

"Let's go with pandas," Mist replied as dropped the still unconscious Fudge out of his inventory.

Tonks' clone swished her wand at Fudge and transfigured him into a panda. "Now what?"

"Now I clone the idiot," Mist replied as he turned to look at Twist. "Can you turn invisible and drop the panda off at the local zoo?"

"Sure," Twist replied with a smile then vanished with the panda.

Mist used his cloning ability to clone Fudge, creating a naked copy of the Minister. "Enervate," he said as he gestured at the unconscious clone, causing him to wake up.

"Didn't need to see that," Tonks complained as she turned her head so that she didn't have to focus on Fudge's replacement.

"What the hell?!" Fudge's clone sputtered as he woke up laying naked on the ground.

"Sorry, the original wasn't particularly competent," Mist replied as he tossed the clone Fudge's clothes. "Get dressed then we're going to have a discussion about Sirius Black."

"What about him?" Fudge's clone asked as he worked on getting dressed.

"He wasn't the Potter's secret keeper and he was innocent of killing the muggles, he was laughing hysterically because Pettigrew had managed to win a duel and he'd taken a blow to the head that left him a bit loopy. I need you to give him a trial."

"I know you mean well boss, but I've been paid quite well to make sure he doesn't get a trial, Lucius would kill me," Fudge's clone argued as he pulled his pants on.

"He can't kill you if he's missing," Mist told him.

Fudge shook his head. "He's given me thousands of galleons over the last thirteen years, you can't just expect me to kill him, without getting caught anyway and I would be much more useful to you alive than dead."

"How much blackmail does he have on you?" Mist asked.

"It's not actually illegal for the minister to accept bribes but I'm listening," the clone replied after a couple of seconds of thought, realizing that he should probably cut his losses.

"Would Lucius find it suspicious if you called him up and told him that you had someone that wanted you to give Sirius a trial and you wanted to warn him so that he could rig it?" Mist asked, fairly sure Lucius would want to express his displeasure in person.

"That could work," Fudge's clone mused. "Do you have any proof that Sirius wasn't the secret keeper and that he didn't get a trial?"

"It shouldn't be hard to find the records as long as you don't let Umbridge check, she's a toxic bitch," Mist told him.

"She also has a large amount of blackmail on people," Fudge warned him, “which is secondary to having to actually spend time with her to find out if she actually has the material or is bluffing. Most just take her word for it so they can avoid her altogether.”

"Which she can't use if she's a panda, nor do you have to spend time with her," Mist pointed out.

"I'm going to need an exit strategy and someone that can turn people into pandas," Fudge said, smiling hopefully.

"We can do that," Tonks agreed.

"Tell you what, if you pull this off I'll personally make sure you spend the rest of your time on a tropical beach sipping expensive drinks," Mist promised him, figuring he could always replace him again if he had to.

"Sounds better than putting up with the paperwork," Fudge's clone admitted.

0o0o0

"This should be easy, in and out and we're done…" Mist trailed off as they reached the doors to Gringotts and he saw a black void where the inside of the bank should have been. "Fuck!"

Twist froze when she saw the void that gave her an uneasy feeling. "What the hell?!"

"Wards or maybe they sealed the dimension," Mist mused as he pulled a knut out of his pocket and tossed it through the door, causing the knut to sail into the abyss and vanish after a couple of seconds.

"So much sneaking in and grabbing the cup the easy way," Twist replied, glad that they hadn't tried to slip into the Shadow Realm from inside the bank.

"Shit, that means we're going to have to go with Plan F," Mist complained.

"Plan F?" Twist asked.

"Plan Fubar or plan fucked up beyond all recognition or the plan that involves getting into Azkaban and making a copy of Bellatrix so that we can get access to her vault," Mist replied as he checked his watch, wanting to make sure they had enough time for the attempt before they had to get back and deal with Malfoy.

"You mean the place that's surrounded and patrolled by dementors?" Twist asked, thinking about Hermione's rant about the place.

"Yep," Mist agreed. "Our mental shields should keep us from having all of our happy memories devoured and we can probably sneak in via the Shadow Realm then slip out before anyone knows we're there."

"Or we get our souls eaten by something nasty," Twist complained as she gestured toward the void where the inside of the bank should be. "Or they've warded the island to hell and back and we can't use the Shadow Realm to get close."

"Even if they found something that blocked the Shadow Realm, I doubt they warded the land across the channel," Mist argued. "The void is rather noticeable, we should be able to teleport to the beach then fly over the channel and check. If the place is warded to hell or if the dementors are in the Shadow Realm, we'll teleport away and find a different way to get a copy of Bellatrix."

"Fine," Twist replied as she grabbed Mist's arm and teleported to the beach looking at the island across the channel. "I'm not seeing anything."

"Same," Mist replied as he floated off the ground, finding the dark water unnerving even with his ability to see in the dark. "One quick look and we'll run if we see any dementors."

"Deal," Twist replied as she used her warlock flight and floated off the ground. "What do you think we'll find?"

"Dementors or shadow demons," Mist replied as conjured a corruption eating lab coat and put it on, figuring the island was probably corrupt enough to generate a couple of books.

"Lovely," Twist muttered as she flew after him, fairly sure they were making a mistake.

Mist wasn't sure what to expect but seeing a bunch of multicolored lights flying around a dark and creepy prison wasn't it. It wasn't until they got closer that they realized that the lights were glowing mist contained in spheres that were contained in spectral hearts. "Huh."

"I'll raise you a what the hell," Twist replied as she studied the strange hearts that were flying around.

Mist reflexively reached up and grabbed a book when it dropped out of thin air. He glanced at the title of the book then focused and read it a second time to make sure he'd read the title correctly. "Vivian's Guide to Ghost Fucking?"

"I think the author lost their mind," Twist replied, not taking her eyes off the nearest spectral heart. "Should I blast it?"

"Not unless it's hostile, we don't need them swarming," Mist replied as he started cautiously flying toward the guard house on the dock. He caught another book that appeared out of thin air as the nearest spectral heart shattered and the spheres of light fled in multiple directions. "Huh, they might be made out of corruption."

"Are you sure you don't want me to shoot them?" Twist asked, more than a little creeped out by the floating hearts.

"They don't seem to be hostile, let's just get the mission done then we can worry about it," Mist told her, wanting to avoid complicating an already complicated mission. He checked the title then stuffed both of the books in an expanded box in his inventory. 'How to create the ultimate magical being? Yeah, because that's not suspicious.'

"Fine," Twist replied, keeping an eye on the spectral hearts that seemed to be picking up speed and flying in random directions, as if they were looking for someone despite the fact that they didn't have eyes as far as she could tell.

Mist kept part of his attention on the spectral hearts as he made his way to the guardhouse, in case one of them decided to lurch toward him. He twitched when one of them got too close and popped, causing another book to fall out of the air. 'How to make House Elves out of Brownies?' He tucked the book in his inventory with the rest of the books then ducked inside the building and looked at the blueprints hanging on the wall. "Okay, the high security prisoners should be in the third building, that's probably where Bellatrix is."

"That should be easy enough to check," Twist said as Mist flew back outside and headed for the third building. 'At least we can't hear the prisoners screaming.'

Mist caught the next book as another spectral heart shattered and the lights flew away. 'A Goth's Guide to the Otherside? Yeah, because that can't possibly go wrong.' He put the book in the box in his inventory then grabbed another book out of the air then another one when it dropped before he had a chance to read the title of the other book. He stuffed the books in his inventory and continued walking, only making it three steps before a book tried to land on his head.

"This is almost worse than the Blight," Twist complained.

"Almost," Mist agreed as they made their way into the third building, causing three spectral hearts to burst, releasing the lights and causing five books to drop out of thin air. He picked up the books and stuffed them in his inventory then continued walking, figuring she'd be toward the back since she'd been there a long time. 'This would be a lot easier if I had a way to see the real world.'

"Do we have a plan?" Twist asked.

"Not really, I figure we'll head to the back of the building then slip back across after turning invisible, someone should know where to find her," Mist replied as he looked around for a good place to head back to the real world.

"Okay, you're the boss," Twist replied as she used her warlock magic to turn invisible, hoping they weren't going to appear in the middle of a dementor.

Mist grabbed Twist's arm, turned invisible and shifted back to the real world. He quickly glanced around then stared when he saw two tattered black cloaks on the ground in the middle of the hallway and a lot of people talking over each other, "They're dead. How the fuck?! Get us out of here! The dementors are going to kill us!"

"He's here! My lord has come for me!" Bellatrix cackled, figuring the only person that could kill dementors was her lord.

Mist sighed in relief as he saw a familiar woman that looked a lot like the actress from the movies standing in a cell dressed in rags. 'Damn, if she looks this good after being in a cell for thirteen years, what would she have looked like in her prime?' he wondered as he snuck over and poked her hand that was holding the bars in a death grip, picking up a pattern.

Twist picked up the cloak off the ground, causing it to vanish and people to stare in her general direction. 'It's probably worth studying.'

Mist walked back over, grabbed Twist's shoulder and shifted back to the Shadow Realm, causing all of the voices to vanish and not noticing the book that dropped out of thin air behind him a second before he shifted. "That went better than I was expecting."

"I think the spectral hearts are dementors," Twist said as she showed him the tattered cloak.

"And the lights are souls?" Mist asked thoughtfully.

"It makes sense, they eat souls," Twist replied as another book dropped out of thin air.

Mist picked the book up off the ground and stuffed it in his inventory. "In that case, we should probably wander around the island a bit since they can't seem to sense us and kill the rest of them."

"Can I blast them?" Twist asked hopefully.

"Sure," Mist agreed as they headed toward the exit, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop since everything had gone off without a hitch.