Chapter 15: Tick tock

“What do you mean?!” The indignation burned hot in my chest. 

“That mark is worse than I thought. It escalates the rate at which you turn.” 

“Turn? Turning into what?!” I snarled and took a breath. I couldn’t act like this. Hopefully the rustle and bustle of the place kept everyone busy enough that they didn’t notice. “What the fuck do you mean turning?!”

“As I told you time and time again. I. Cannot. Say. Do you ever listen to me?” she pouted. 

“This is no fucking time for jokes, Sera.” 

She rolled her eyes, ”Do not fret like this is the end of the world. Just go out and fight. Get stronger. Evolve.”

“And how the fuck do I even do that?” 

“Go into the world. Look for that friend of yours, Joanna. The rest will come naturally.” 

“How much time do I have before this … change?” 

“You will not be corrupted in only a week or two.” 

“How long?” I repeated. My patience wearing thin. 

“A few months, probably. The further you progress, the more apparent it will be.”

“And growing stronger will stop it?” I asked. My heart catching in my throat. The thought of the unknown thing growing was horrifying. Would I stop being human? Would I stop being me? I didn’t really want to find out. 

Sera stared silently. 

“Answer damn you! Will growing stronger stop it?” splashes of spit pelted the mirror.

She squirmed and bit her lower lip. A trickle of blood ran down her chin. She looked like she was hurting.

“It will slow down!” she burst out.

Time came to a stop, my heart fell to my stomach. I slumped back in my chair. “Slow down? What the fuck do you mean slow down? There’s no stopping it?” 

“I do not know. But this change is not a bad thing, not if you keep growing,” she explained between ragged breaths. 

It didn’t matter what she said. The prospect of losing my humanity was not something I signed up for when I helped her escape that place. At the time the pledge seemed like the only logical thing to do, but now I wasn’t so sure anymore. Did I just prolong my deaths with a few days of struggle? Thinking about it like that made it feel like a very shitty deal.

I rubbed my eyes and focused on my breathing. The old trick the priest taught me never failed. It was calming, and it reminded me of home. The priest was the closest thing I had to a father for years. 

Whatever I would do, or become, I couldn’t just leave his daughter here. I had to go help her. Existential crises and everything else had could wait. 

“All right. How can I learn more about this if you can’t tell me?” I asked. 

“Grow. The closer you get to me, the more I can say,” Sera said and let her pained grimace fall from her face. 

“Sounds easy enough…” 

I groaned and got up from the wooden chair. I needed to head out as quickly as possible. The sooner the better. But I wouldn’t do it blindly. I opened the door and felt my recently regained composure wash away. The corridor was filled to the brim with people. Most let their eyes pierce deep into me, as if to say ‘We all know you’re batshit crazy.’

I cleared my throat and scratched my head. “I- I’m really sorry you had to hear that. patrons, am I right?” I chuckled and tried to salvage the situation. 

“Cal!” Yusuf barked and shoved his way through the small crowd. He placed a hand on my shoulder and leaned close to my ear. “Play along,” he whispered. 

Before I had any time to respond, or even consider what the hell he meant by play along, he began the show. 

“Where in god’s name have you been?! I waited by the entrance for you, and now I find you here lazing around? For what reason?!”

I stumbled, looking for the right words, but didn’t get a chance to say anything. 

“You just got here and you’re already trying to get out of patrols by playing the crazy card, are you?!” he clicked his tongue. “I had high hopes for you Cal. Honestly, seeing you behave this way makes me feel ashamed that I vouched for you.” 

I looked down at my feet and whispered meekly, “You’re right, I’m sorry.” 

Yusuf cleared his throat. “Ahem, well. As long as you’re aware that your actions have consequences. Now come with me, we’re late for patrol. We leave immediately.” 

He groaned and pulled me along by the arm when I didn’t realize what he meant. Zig-zagging through the small crowd. 

“What a little shit,” someone mumbled to their friend as we squeezed past. I had half a mind to throw myself at him right there and then, but held myself back.

Yusuf dragged me along until the large door closed behind us. 

“Stay safe,” Anna said from the inside, just before it shut fully.

Yusuf let go of my arm and put his hands on his hips with a deep sigh, “Now what the hell was that?” 

I walked in front, the rifle slung over my shoulder. It slapped against the satchel every now and then, but it wasn’t very uncomfortable. Just a bit restricting. 

“I honestly have nothing to say for myself,” I grieved. “Thanks for bailing me out.” 

“Any time. Just don’t make a habit of drawing attention to yourself. There’s already talk about you going around. Not only the good kind.” 

“I get that. Just had some things to get out of my system.” 

“Yeah. Well, I’m happy you did, because I was shit out of luck. Tomás played sick today as well so I was left without company for the patrol. Happy to have you come along,” he smiled and gave me a pat on the back as he caught up. 

“The Officers don’t mind?” I asked. I wasn’t even officially part of the group. Did they just assume I’d join? 

“Nah. Elana already told them about your run in with the Stumblers. They seemed impressed.”

“Impressed?” I asked. They hadn’t been very tough to deal with. “And what the hell could she say? The woman was blind as a bat then.” 

He chuckled and pointed to his ears, “Her hearing is sharp as a bat’s. She heard how you handled them and reported it to the top brass. Not many can handle that many alone. Most are too scared to even get close. Me included.” 

I shrugged, “I’d rather stay at a distance if that’s an option.”     

He studied me. Everything he did seemed earnest, true to a fault. 

“Yeah, alright. First time using that?” he asked and nodded at the wand. 

“Yup.” 

“Don’t shoot without warning me,” he said and nodded at the rifl- the wand. 

“I don’t even know how loud it is,” I explained. 

“I do. I was one of the first to show interest,” Yusuf chuckled. “Sounds an awful lot like a rifle, if you ask me.” 

“That bad?” I groaned. 

“That bad,” he laughed and pointed. “Let’s go in here. There’s a staircase that leads to the roof.” 

He held the door open to me. The wares of the small shop had been ransacked. Piles of dirt and cans littered the floor. 

“Grocery store?” I asked. 

“Yeah. Used to be. Officers took everything inside once we found it.” 

“Probably better than letting people fight for it,” I added. 

“Sure. But it also forced everyone in the area to join them or starve. Or eat zombie-flesh.” 

I raised an eyebrow at him.

“It’s not that I disagree. I just dislike the way they’re trying to control everyone. People are starving because they aren’t useful. It’s not like they came here on their own volition,” Yusuf sighed and led me into a backroom. Empty shelves surrounded an old ladder leading up to a hatch. He stood next to it and held it firmly in his hand, gesturing for me to climb up.

“Your group looked to be doing good,” I said and began the climb.

“We are. And I’m making a killing with John and the guys at the helm. But it just feels wrong to let non-combatants and children survive on bare minimum while the rest of us stuff our faces.” 

The hatch was heavy. It made some resistance before I managed to lift it open. I climbed up and put some weight on the ladder while Yusuf climbed, then offered him a hand. 

“Quite the view,” I mused and soaked in the surroundings. 

The roof was a patchwork of different metal sheets. The base layer looked weathered and ancient while the patches covering its flaws were fresh. A thin layer of translucent dark soot covered the roofs, like everything else in this damned place. 

“Haven’t seen much like it. If people still lived here I’m sure it would be a beautiful city,” he sighed. “Kind of reminds me of the bazaars at home.” 

Now that he said it, it did look a bit like the bazaars. Not that I had visited more than one. The merchants quarters were cramped and every window had showpieces to place their wares on display, most had metallic hangers for display outside. 

Most of the windows were cracked. Glass and soot littered the ground in large swathes. And no people sold their wares in the street. The city was desolate. Save for the few outsiders roaming its streets fighting monsters. 

“Where to?” I asked. 

Yusuf nodded his chin, “That way. Watch your step. Some of the tiles are rusted to hell.” 

The rooftop stroll turned out to be one of the most freeing things I have ever done. It felt like I was above it all. Not part of the struggle down below. It was nice to be the one on top for a change. 

The metallic tiles moaned under my weight. They weren’t very steep, so they made for good and sure footing. Some groaned like they wanted to cave in, none did. Neither I nor Yusuf were very heavy. Not even with all the equipment I was carrying around over my shoulder.

“So this food shortage,” I began. “Does it mean you’re not really allowed to trade with food items?” 

“Yeah. But people still do, it’s like the black market. The hottest commodity.” 

I suddenly felt bad for getting Elana to give me a piece of her own supply. But she didn’t seem to be hurting for more, otherwise she wouldn’t have let me have my way. She was too smart for that. 

I jumped over a small hole in the roof and felt the tiles buckle from my impact. I made sure to scurry a bit further away before Yusuf jumped across. It held up.

“See that?” he asked and pointed. 

A dried-up fountain towered above a large plaza. The stream of water shot out from a flame embraced by a group of stark naked women. No buildings stood close, so there was no glass littering the ground. Only stumblers. 

A fuck ton of stumblers.