Flustered AU
Added 2020-12-07 04:22:52 +0000 UTCIn my AU Lili is constantly flustered with Leon, she has never been in a real loving relationship. Lili doesn't consider what she had with Jake a loving relationship it is what it was and that was just abuse and fear.
Leon was different, it was consensual and open, Leon made her feel important when she didn't ask him to. Lili wish she could tell Leon everything about her fears with Jake yet she keeps it from him. Lili isn't ready and Leon as curious as he is isn't willing to try and force it out from her.
When Lili thinks of Leon she thinks about allot of things so much that her head begins to spin and she feels as if she has a fever. She wants to make him happy and yet doesn't know how...how does someone make their partner happy? She realizes there is one way and she begins to feel so flustered.
She isn't ready! not yet! she isn't new to sex but her past experience has been one sided. Lili never felt good when it was with Jake, she felt like a dead fish wishing it would end....but with Leon when they are in a heated moment she doesn't want it to stop and she wants him to keep going yet her trauma kicks in and she ask for him to stop. Leon tells her they can take it as slow as she wants, there is no need to rush. Lili always wondered how she managed to find someone so considerate towards her, Leon doesn't know the whole story yet he's patient with her. When Lili ask him why he is patient, why he doesn't leave her to be with someone who can give him what he wants when he wants it. Leon answers has always been "because I love you"
Lili never can understand how he can love someone like her but he does...and she begins to cover her face with her pillow and internally screams into a void.
