Stronger Together chapter 183

Despite having the armor to drain off a large portion of the power,  the extreme damage from overloading my body ended up serving about the  same purpose. I was about eighty percent godsteel at this point, and  condensing all of it back down into its original form of one arm and a  network through my body took about six hours. It also hurt. A lot.  Apparently all the new godsteel that had replaced my muscles was the  denser and more powerful type my arm had become after the last time and  it was slower and much more painful to reverse it's expansion.

Unlike  Chastel who I had just burned to ash with a fire spell we decided to  bury Fenrir properly, the big guy had left a strong impression and I was  actually sad he wasn't going to be around anymore. We decided to bury  him on Demonreach, it seemed fitting somehow. I doubt he would have  cared honestly  but I felt like he deserved it to be laid to rest with  honor. We loaded him into the back of the suburban wrapped in a sheet of  Barb's shadowsteel because if we got blood all over the inside of her  car Charity would kill us, and then we headed for home.

The  six hours of healing time I spent required truly absurd levels of  medicinal fluid, which I absorbed even faster. One of the major benefits  of this horrible process was that the non metallized flesh was tempered  by the energy from my klurkor state so the stuff that was growing back  was even more purified by the soulfire than before. Every time I used  the state I took a big jump in my journey to being an angel. I was  curious why it hadn't happened last time but as I sat in the tub and  contemplated it finally hit me.

The  increased quality of the godsteel was refining my soul as I used it,  which was making the soulfire more effective at purging my mortality.  Granted I was only about ten percent converted, but I also hadn't gone  past the fifth of the thirteen forms in my klurkor state. Still, being  effectively ten percent angel felt mindblowing, and once I fully  condensed everything and climbed out of the bath I felt amazing. It  almost made me wish that I could repeat this little experience, but  without a powerful enemy to burn my energy on with my armor I'd be made  of metal in two minutes at rank five ever with my more powerful flesh.

As  I dried off I looked at myself in the mirror. Once again my skin was  softer and my features more refined. I looked almost as good as a white  court vampire now. The now pitch black metal veins disappearing under my  skin from my black metal arm should have looked grotesque, but somehow  the balance against the rest of me just made me seem more appealing.For  some reason I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of the thing. I kept  thinking about it but every time I tried to commit to it I was reminded  how useful it was.

I knew I  could do the same thing with my arm as I had the rest of me and condense  the metal into my subdermal weave, making my arm a normal limb again,  but some part of me constantly held back. My arm was a part of me. Even  once I became an angel I wanted to keep it. It had saved my girls and I  so many times, and it had some of their spirits mixed in, some of their  magic, back from when it had first been formed. It was something that  bound us all together and I loved it for that.

I  stretched broadly, groaning at how good it felt after being stuck in  that cramped tub with every muscle in my body contracting and healing as  I ripped out muscle fibers and regrew them. I really hoped I could  convert my flesh the slow way from now on, just do daily klurkor  practice. It had been so much worse this time and I couldn't even  imagine how much it would hurt to do it again now that my godsteel  network was even more condensed. The black was so deep now I was like  looking at a room with the lights off, but it still shimmered rainbow  hues like a soap bubble when it caught the light.

I  got dressed and headed out into the house proper. Barb was waiting for  me, sitting against the wall next to the bathroom arms around her knees.  Her eyes looked...blank. When I came out they took a second to focus on  me, and when she spoke she sounded so very sad. "I could hear you  screaming." I winced, I'd tried really hard to keep it down, but it had  hurt so badly. "It was muffled, so it was probably just Kara and I. I'm  guessing you bit down on something." I sat down next to her and put an  arm around her shoulders.

I  laid my head against hers leaning sideways to pull her against me. "I  was gritting my teeth. I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to make you listen  to that. It was my fault, I keep doing this to you all. I know how much  it scares you but I just didn't know what else I was supposed to do. I  had to keep you guys safe, and without the armor I wouldn't have been  able to keep up with Fenrir or Kara or even you in that construct Cinder  and Rae made you." I thought maybe reminding her she had been a kickass  fighter in that huge battle would help.

I  was, of course, wrong. Barb's eyes welled up with tears and I was  horrified but I had no idea what I said. Her voice barely shook despite  the crying, but somehow that made it worse "Everyone keeps getting  stronger, becoming more and more able to help, and me? Cinder and Raven  were useful in that fight, I just walked their weapon up Fenrir for  them. I've got nothing to contribute. If I was stronger, was better,  maybe you wouldn't have to keep hurting yourself for us, for me. I love  you so much Cam, and i keep hurting you."

I  was stunned. Barb was the most confident together person in our group,  she was the last person I'd have pegged for self esteem issues. I caught  her chin and pushed it up forcing her to meet my eyes "Hey. I won't  blow smoke up your ass and pretend you punch as hard as me, or are as  good at magic as Raven. But you are the smartest, most capable woman I  have ever met. Barbara Motherfucking Gordon doesn't need superpowers to  be a badass. You're fucking Batgirl, and not just one of them you're the  OG. You trained under fucking Batman. You would be an asset to any team  even if I wasn't totally in love with you, which spoiler alert, I am."

She  laughed woodenly "God, listen to me. I sound pathetic. You got hurt and  I'm turning it into a pity party, that is so not me. I just...when it  was the League that was one thing, because I had Batman to show me the  way, to be that implacable force that was more than just a person  despite being normal. But now everyone is getting stronger, even me, I'm  just doing it the slowest. Plus, and if you tell them I said this I  will deny it tooth and nail, I'm sharing both my boyfriend and my  girlfriends with the two hottest women I've ever seen. Seeing literally  any two of you together makes me feel like shit in comparison."

That  one I hadn't been expecting at all, but considering Cinder was  basically a sex goddess and Raven was literally a demonic temptress, I  could definitely understand being a bit selfconscious. I couldn't help  it, I laughed. She glared at me and I put my hands up placatingly "I'm  laughing at me, not you. You think you're the only one who gets a little  jealous sometimes. Rae has been into you for such a long time and in  case you didn't notice, you're way hotter than me. The klurkor has made  you even sexier, and you were already a hard ten. Seriously, your ass  looks better than my face."

As  I expected she giggled wetly at that "Ok, that is so not true, but  thank you anyway. I guess this sharing thing got a bit more complicated  with more people involved and we need to figure it out. When it was just  the three of us it felt more balanced, but Cinder makes it more  complicated. My girlfriend isn't just fucking my boyfriend now she's  fucking my other girlfriend too, and Cinder and I aren't as close as she  and Rae. I think we just need some time to connect as a...group." She  giggled again "And how the hell did we get from my self pity to talking  about our relationship?"

I  just shrugged, deciding more laughter was in order. "Well the  conversation sort of just turned that way, but if you ask me we're  looking at an underlying issue that may the root of all of these  feelings of inadequacy." Barb looked at me with a raised eyebrow but I  somehow managed to keep my face straight. "It's obviously boob envy."  Her jaw dropped open in genuine offense and I grinned, she leaned back  and punched me in the arm. "What? It's totally natural, Raven's got some  tig ol' biddies."

I  saw her mask of shocked offense crack and her lip twitch, she was  trying not to laugh and I felt vindicated. She'd gotten all in her head  about this and sometimes you just needed to crack a smile. I continued  as if I was oblivious, watching her out of the corner of my eye as I  turned my head to stare dramatically into the middle distance "Oh don't  get me wrong. I don't play favorites. I love you for you, even though  you're a card carrying member of the itty bitty titty committee." I  cracked at that last part and finally just burst out laughing.

I  turned back to look at Barb, and her face was so torn between anger and  amusement I honestly think she didn't know whether to laugh or punch me  in the dick. Her voice was dangerously even when it finally came out,  if a bit strangled by either laughter or rage "So you're saying that my  deep seated inferiority issues, problems that plague my every waking  moment recently and which had me crying on the floor not two minutes  ago, is because I'm jealous of Raven's CUP SIZE?"

She  actually seemed a little pissed, but pissed was better than sad, and I  could tell she thought it was at least a little funny. I reached up to  pat her on the head condescendingly deciding that seeing her seethe was  just too cute to give up on. "It's fine babe, petite girls are pretty  sexy too. And you have that whole athletic thing going on. You don't  need a pair of giant sweater puppies to compete with Rae and Cinder. I  love you just the way you are. Even if the way you are is flat as an  airplane landing strip."

She  grabbed me by the shirt and pulled my face to hers "If I wasn't  absolutely positive you were trying to take my mind off my deeper issues  I would make you sleep on the couch for a week." She stood up and  stalked away and I smiled slightly, I liked seeing her all fired up way  better than seeing her depressed. She stopped at the door to our room  "Well? I'm waiting." I looked up and raised an eyebrow in confusion. She  shot me back a devilish grin "Well you helped me feel better so you  deserve a reward, but you also made several very rude comments. So I  figure the only fair response is to fuck you until your hips break."  Despite not using my aspect, I don't think I've ever moved that fast in  my life.