I’m feeling HUGE! 🥵🥵 +gym storytime

This is getting so out of hand and I fucking love it 🥵

I was looking at some old pics earlier today and I just can't fucking believe what I've done to myself. Well really, it's what we've done to me, together. I don't know why it turns me on so much to have a body that shocks and embarrasses me, but my god, the feeling is so addictive.

I remember one of the last times I went to my gym before going off the deep end with gaining. I'd put on a little weight already and it was noticeable. There was this PT there who was always trying to give me the hard sell on booking some sessions with him every time he saw me (ironically not because I was getting fat, it was because I'd made a casual enquiry about some deal they were running and he like pounced and then was trying to sell me on it every time I came in). 

Anyway, I was slowly putting on more and more weight but still going to the gym because... honestly I don't know why 🤣 I think I was afraid to fully let go and thought if I at least kept up some gym routine then it wasn't really getting that bad. But also, my gym clothes were getting tighter and I was getting such a thrill out of putting them on and looking in the mirror, freaking out about being seen like that, then working myself up until I was so horny I was able to leave the house like that. 

So honestly towards the very end when I was really starting to get big, going to the gym was more of an exercise in exhibitionism than anything. I wanted to be seen. But still, I would normally work out in this area that was sort of behind a pillar and a little more private, not like right in the middle of the gym floor, because I was genuinely embarrassed and the thing with shame is that you have to balance it so that it's sharp enough to sting but not so much that you can't focus on actually enjoying it. 

Anyway, I'm halfway through a set and I see the PT approaching! And I immediately feel my face getting hot because he's in great shape obviously and I'm considerably fatter than when he last saw me, and dressed to show it. So he comes over and he's asking me about my workouts and how they've been going and I'm like "yeah good" just wanting him to leave. Because the other thing is that when I have my headphones in it's kind of like a barrier, I can tune out some of the world around me but as soon as I paused the music it was like being doused in cold water, the reality of standing in the gym fattened and what I was wearing and everything just hit real hard, I just felt incredibly exposed.

He was being polite (kind of) and everything, but it's really obvious that he's noticed and he's just trying to give me workout advice, but THEN, he asks "And how's your diet?" and looks right down at my stomach. For like a good second or two. I didn't even know what to say, it was such a blatant look and I knew exactly how big I was looking and how tight the shirt was. It was that stretchy thin dri-fit fabric too so it was stretched and clinging. If you know the material you'll know what I mean, if it's tight it shows absolutely everything.

So that's what I was thinking about today! I wonder what that PT would think of me now. Sometimes I wish I hadn't cancelled my gym membership so that I could sometimes wobble back in there just to be the fat little exhibitionist pig that I am, but really, that's the only thing I'd be using it for. 🥵🐷