This Week...

This week, one of my goofy Optimus Prime reels (the "Mr. Boombastic" one, if you're curious) hit over 1,000,000 views on Instagram: the most views ANY piece of content I've produced has ever gotten. 

While I was partially really happy to have had this cosplay get so much attention, I found that over 75% of the comments were negative. They insulted the cosplay itself: I was told it looked terrible, that it was ridiculous, goofy, trash, etc. They insulted me: I was told I was a sl*t looking for simps, that I was ugly, that I was a fake fan, that I was lying about having built this, that I was a wh*re, a thot, etc. They insulted my passion for Transformers: I was told I ruined Optimus Prime, that I turned him into a "ho* bag," that I didn't deserve to be Optimus Prime, that I made him weak, anorexic, etc.

I made the mistake of letting it get to me this week. In a way, it's hard not to. I see a lot of negativity on YouTube surrounding my appearance and my opinions. Instagram is sort of my safe space, since usually, my posts are seen by kind folks like you: whom already support me. But when this post hit a million views, it exposed me to so many cruel individuals, men and women alike, with nothing but abusive things to say to me about this cosplay. I think it affected me even worse, because this cosplay is my proudest achievement, and I built it while I suffered the loss of my cat, so it was like my dedication to her was being trashed online.

I spoke to some of you in the Discord, I took gentle advice and stepped away for just a moment... and I'm grateful that I did.

I think it's easy for us as individuals (not just creatives) to hyper focus on the negative things in our lives. I know I have a smart mouth and a bad temper (I called myself SNARKY for a reason!) so it's hard for me personally to lift my head above the cruelty and walk tall. But I hope that we can all do it. I hope we can all be that bigger person and move on.

To those of you that read this, I hope I can leave you with a few things. One: the negativity isn't worth listening to. There's a lot of sadness and difficult things we as people have to face, it's not worth paying attention to something as trivial as words and letting that affect us. Two: even people who talk a big talk, like me, have trouble walking the walk. Sometimes it just weighs too hard. We're only human, and it's okay to feel things. And three: even in dark moments, there's always kindness. I was encouraged and given gentle words in the discord that evening and the morning after, and I'm grateful to those people who stood by me.

Stay PRIME, folks. ;)

Jay