Chapter 52.1 - High Fashion

So, it turns out, pretty much nobody was interested in the streaming idea.  I'm not entirely unsurprised.  I would not have been interested either, but if it was possible for me to generate some sort of passive income while also writing, that would have been nice.

Oh, well.  C'est la vie.

However, some of you were interested in my music choices.  I figured it wouldn't hurt to post a sort of album-of-the-chapter.  Just stuff I happen upon while writing.  Listen if you wanna.

This chapter's feature is an album by the group, Apparat, entitled Soundtracks: Equals Sessions

https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_m_7TOjqccXJkaKQiOyBcorThaCFr1btiA

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“Tempered?!  You’re telling me I have a tempered stat?  You can grant people… a tempered.  Stat!?  L-like it was nothing?” Lynnria stammered.  “Just… just what?  By snapping your fingers?”

“It’s only the one—I like fingers in my ass!  I’m a naughty girl,” Mia replied blithely.  Save for the last bit, which sounded like she was a phone-sex operator.  “So far, anyway.  I did try to activate the second, but it won’t seem to take without the bind.”

Lynnria made a strangled noise in her throat.

“And you lay this on me like it was some kind of afterthought?  Do you realize?  Do you have any idea what they would do?  What lengths my Clan would go to just get their hands on you?”

Jax spat to one side dismissively.  “No sense in letting them get no fancy ideas, then.”

“We’re not exactly going around with a sign around our necks, Lynnria,” I agreed.

“And we know ye’d not go telling no tales,” Jax finished.  “Were I sittin’ where you be, I’d ne’er let on to such as them what wronged me like that.  Less call ‘em Clan.  We’s yer Clan.  Not they.  Let them’uns lie in the dirt where they belong, says I.  Whilst ye walk proud with yer fancy, new tits a-bouncing fer spite.”

Lynnria nodded faintly, evidently liking the sound of that, but still quite worried.

“But… but just look at you all.  Anyone with eyes can see that something’s off.  Especially once they realize you’re nowhere near as powerful as someone who looks like you should be.”

I nodded slowly.  That was a fair point.

Charisma was generally seen as a useless stat by the populace, so for all of us to have invested so heavily into it, one would normally assume we had reached a point where any other stat investment had become prohibitively expensive.

However, I was increasingly finding this view to be borne of ignorance.  Charisma was actually quite handy for a magic user.  Though still very much in the weeds with it, I had seen glimpses of its eventual power to influence the Words.

And everyone knew that no one knew everything.

“Okay… so then, if anyone asks,” I began, “we can tell them its a Clan thing.  Clans have all kinds of hidden, proprietary builds they work toward.  Right?”

Lynnria nodded, following along.  She had told me as much, after all.

“And clearly, none of us are any sort of ‘local’ kind.  So its not unreasonable to claim we’re a wandering Clan who all follow some ridiculous Charisma-based build philosophy.”

“Be only the truth,” Jax agreed.

“I… suppose that would work,” Lynnria admitted.  “It might even work to our advantage.  Not many will pay attention to us if they think we’re a joke.”

I was not so sure about that.  I had certainly noticed the way people tended to treat us when we had last walked through town, and I had a feeling there would be more than a few ruffled feathers if it came out that the supposedly powerful adventurers everyone had been fawning over were actually a bunch of clowns.

But it was a small price to pay if it meant passing under the radar of the local bigwigs.  If Lynnria’s situation had taught me anything, it was that some people were best avoided.  At all costs.

Why the hell is severing not illegal?  What does Law even do, if She turns a blind eye to something like that?

“There is one other thing,” Lynnria began again.  “You were… handsome enough when we met a few days ago.  But now?  Donum, you were nowhere close to how you look now.   And yet all of us are supposed to have tempered Charisma?  How are you out-pacing the rest of us so badly?  How can you possibly be this gorgeous?”

I rubbed at the back of my neck, embarrassed.  “I… don’t see how that could be.”

Both Jax and Lynnria shot me a look.  Like they were wondering whether I was being intentionally dense.

Which… was fair enough.  I did have a pretty good idea as to where everyone’s stats were sitting, so it was not like I was unaware of how I stacked up.  But those were just numbers.  How was I supposed to contextualize something like that?

I had not seen a mirror in ages.  And even if I had, what standard was I supposed to judge from?  What did masculine attractiveness even look like?

Did I have a more chiseled jawline or something?  I was not exactly muscular, so that could not be it.  Otherwise…?

The most I could say was that I still had all my limbs attached.  Which was nice.

However, Mia decided to approach the question from a much more literal—and fundamentally unhelpful—direction.

“More than possible.  Because of  your insistence on sticking with Wisdom and Toughness, you have actually outpaced even Arx in that department by 30.769 percent.  Rounding, of course.  And since you’re not busy, you won’t mind if I show you your updated stat page.”

There were some rummaging sounds.

“Now, where did I put that blasted…?  Surely, I must have left it…  No?  Is it under—?  Ah, here we are.”

<ding!>

Despite this over-reliance on numbers being half the problem, I decided against protesting.  This was kind of Mia’s whole job and, like any good caretaker, she got a little pissy when the boss dismissed all the work she had put in as inconvenient details.

So, I gave the page a quick skim, not expecting much in the way of changes.

Wisdom and Toughness, up.  As expected.  Thank you for not screwing me over again, Mia.  Which means… Charisma 17?  Geez.  No wonder.

One day, the girls would inevitably hit numbers like that, I realized.  Which was both exciting and terrifying.

Arx was literally the hottest woman I had ever seen, so my brain did not have any means of pushing beyond her example.  If there was a sliding scale from dogging to bitching, she was the heavenly chorus.

So to speak.

And yet her Charisma was only a 13?  Criminy.

I might not have had a scale for male attractiveness, but I certainly did for women.  And while a one-point difference was mostly negligible, four was not.

It was the difference between taking a six and a perfect ten home for dinner.  The one would warrant little more than a few nods and comments about what a sweet girl she was, while the second might get a person dragged to one side to receive a stern talking to from one’s mother.  After the initial shock wore off, anyway.

Except Jax already was that 10, Arx was a 13, and I had leapfrogged way past either of them.  Which meant that if anything, I was dating way under my own league.  And that was just batshit-crazy!

The only ‘being’ I knew of who might have been able to compete with any of us was Bline, but Her likeness had faded considerably after having left Her presence.  And possibly Mia, as she looked very nearly identical.  Though, I had only ever seen her as a hologram and a few half-remembered dreams, so it was hard to say.

Then, there was Ahnbe, but… well, if I had ever known what She looked like, I certainly did not now.  There was just a big void in my head where any of that knowledge might have existed.

She sounded sexy, though.  I remembered that much.  In a… pop-you-like-a-grape sort of way.

Woof…

In any case, none of the Dolilim were going to be slowing down any time soon, and if I was having difficulties now, I could just imagine what it would be like a few Layers down the road.

Maybe I should just take that ‘constantly horny’ debuff Mia was talking about.  That way, I could quietly quit the field.  Surrender my sensibilities to the inevitable onslaught of debauchery.

Let’s see… what else?