XaiJu
puddles4263
puddles4263

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Chapter 698

I'll probably have a few hours before my second writing session, so in my comments, do we want to see Rand's first fight next  or finish Naffur's little jaunt? (For reference, I think Naffur is just two more chapters and he will be done for a while).


P.S.: You have no idea how many paragraphs of deep exposition about the post-System economy I deleted, hahaha. It's an interesting diversion, but not one that would be exciting to most people.


 

Naffur’s back itched terribly, but he dare not scratch it. Neveah was sitting beside him at a large table. She was in her androgynous form, but she still beamed around at the other members of the table with palpable good cheer. The other people around the table seemed more focused and grim after every Order at the table had given its report on numbers and growth.

Some orders, such as the Order Valorus and Order Fide, seemed pleased with their monthly progress. They were led by a sharp-eyed woman named Alana and a tattooed man named Alumuran respectively. Both were difficult to look at, for different reasons. When one looked at Alana, one’s eyes would begin to water. And whenever Naffur snuck glances at Alumuran, he instantly noticed and peered back.

Meanwhile, it seemed that the Order Ferocitas, Veritas, Caelim, and Umbra were less impressed by their progress. Compared to the first two, these Orders had experienced extremely disappointing growth. But still, Naffur paid close attention to them, mostly because Sydney was the representative of the Order Caelim.

Seeing her there was a shock to his system, and immediately Naffur was wracked by doubts regarding the flower crown in his interspatial watch. What if Mareen thought he was an idiot? Getting a flower crown for a nineteen-year-old? What was he thinking! It was a children’s toy!

But nothing else had seemed to fit. And now he was stuck with it.

To distract himself from his worries, Naffur considered the last group of the Orders, at the far end of the table. The Order Sapienta wasn’t present, due to their leader being otherwise occupied. But both the Order Ferrum and Order Infandus had sent individuals. The Order Ferrum was a gruff man who had introduced himself at Kelly. He wasn’t the leader of Ferrum, but he spoke with the leader’s authority.

And the thing from the Order Infandus was one of the people transplanted into the body of a monster, due to Father Foster’s experiments. Just looking at the scaly claw at the creature’s side made Naffur shiver.

“Does everyone agree that we continue to remain inactive in regards to the Ogre Gorge and the portal to another world?” No one spoke, but the previous argument was exhausting enough that Naffur was glad that the powerful individuals at the table didn’t have the energy to continue. The worst of it was that every once in a while, other leaders would spare glances for him and Neveah.

Neveah just smiled blandly and Naffur began to sweat more and more behind his mask. They couldn’t expect him to have an opinion on the issue, did they?!?

“Alright, onto the next order of business,” The leader of the Order Veritas led the meeting. Naffur believed her name was Tessa, but it was hard to remember. That itch had spread up to his neck, and it was making things very difficult to focus. “Order Ducis, do you have any recommendations regarding the establishment  of new Orders?”

Naffur was busy sliding up and down in his chair to use the back to scratch himself when he realized that everyone was looking at him. Immediately, he froze. Neveah poked him under the table.

With a jump, Naffur produced the two letters from Orders he thought sounded okay enough and slid them to Neveah. Smiling, Neveah took them. “The Order Ducis has two recommendations. Ah… The Order Sanus and the Order Machina.”

For the first time all meeting, the quiet man from the Order Ferrus looked up. “Order Mechina?”

“An association built around Ghost’s experiments and Erickson Technological Conglomerate, I believe,” Tessa said, glancing towards Neveah. Neveah nodded simply. “With the Order Sanus being entity pushed for by Mrs. Northwind.”

Alumuran made a low sound. “An Order for both Zones. Equitable.”

“An Order for Donnyton,” Sydney said sourly. She turned and looked at Tessa. “Is this put to a vote? I do not see the need for additional Orders.”

“Indeed, clarification is necessary.” The pale-faced woman who led the Order Umbra said. She cracked her knuckles methodically. Naffur remembered her name was Illya. “So… I believe that neither the entities that we spoke of have been put forward by the Order Ducis. The Order Dinaris or Order Currus. Without an order to control the rail lines, our talks will undoubtedly fall through. It is… an interesting choice by the Order Ducis to ignore this issue.”

“Isn’t it just a railroad? Don’t act like it’s the end of the world,” Alana said dismissively. Although it was difficult to look at her, Naffur liked her. This whole time, it was clear that Alana was fighting off the urge to nap while sitting at the table.

“Zone 1 needs System relevant equipment, and Zone 32 needs the market expansion,” Sydney said with a sharp look towards Alana. “Both would benefit from something more reliable.”

For the first time in a while, Neveah spoke up. “What about another portal? Like between Donnyton and Star Crossing.”

A few of the people at the table grimaced. Finally, it was Alumuran who spoke. “The teleporter is, of course, available to us… however, I fear that none but Donnyton have the points on hand to construct such a thing, let alone operate it as freely as they do. Without Classer Squads harvesting points for months, it is an impossible expenditure.”

“Also, the Village Spirit of Donnyton has become… unreliable recently.” Kelley said, giving Alana a knowing look. “Although to afford such a thing is feasible… let us consider that a backup plan.”

“-Either way,” Tessa said sternly, looking around the table. “We are skipping the current issue. The Order Ducis has the right to recommend Orders to the Council. It is put to a vote then. All recommendations are considered together. We either approve both or neither. All in favor?”

Tessa, Alana, Alumuran, Kelly, and surprisingly the scale man from the Order Infandus raised their hands. Sydney, the burly man from Ferocitas, and Ilya didn’t move.

“Motion passes. I’ll send out the paperwork, and they will be official Orders three months from now,” Tessa said. Then she glanced around. “Okay, now it’s time to talk about-”

“Wait.”

Tessa looked at Alana and frowned. “What is it?”

But it wasn’t Alana who answered. Alumuran pushed back his chair and stood. “It appears this will not be a peaceful day.”

Sighing, Sydney said. “Unbelievable. How cliche can you get?”

Naffur was bewildered. The Eastern Gardens were a sprawling series of ornate gazebos and pavilions that were divided by tall hedges. There was also a central fountain and a jogging path that wound its way around some of the more ornate areas of the park. The wind picked up, and the rustling of leaves sounded like children’s laughter. The sun was warm on Naffur’s exposed skin. There was a drop of sweat running down the inside of the mask.

What was this if not a peaceful day…?

Of course, as soon as he thought that, an explosion rocked the parks. Distantly, Naffur could hear people screaming. Suddenly, a strange rip in space opened up in front of the table where the heads of the Orders were sitting. With a howl, monsters over Level 60 that looked like blue wolfmen rushed out of the ripped space and brandished hatchets.

Frozen, Naffur could only watch aghast they streamed out to assault the group. His hands tightened on the arms of the chair. His Path had given him such horrible look recently. Because the table was slightly rounded, the wolfmen would reach his sitting position first. He was going to die-

There was a warm breeze and a flash of light, and then the first six wolfmen toppled over with sizzling holes in their chest. Alana stood with a golden spear and a winged helmet that made her look like a Valkyrie. Her sharp eyes scanned the horizon, and then she swore. Another sweep of the spear blasted out golden light and neutralized the rest of the wolfmen. “This portal thing is a neat trick.”

As she spoke, the portal shivered and closed up.

“It’s Mana based,” Sydney said, spinning slowly in a circle. When she had spun 360 degrees, her mouth was twisted. “There are a lot of them. I can trace it to the source, but it might take a while.”

“Is this targeting us?” Ilya said aloud with a frown. “Or was us being here a coincidence? There was an attack on a building in the Orchard a few weeks ago, correct?”

“Humans haven’t yet mastered using monsters to fight,” Alana grunted. The representative from the Order Infandus chuckled, and Alana seemed to wince.

Naffur just stared at them all. They had just been attacked by a dozen monsters over Level 60, and they were so… casual about it. Like it hadn’t mattered, and everything would be fine.

But were they wrong? They had so easily dealt with that attack that Naffur couldn’t deny that they seemed fine. These people lived in a different world than Naffur. They had Classes and Skills beyond what he could manage.

Although they might be fine, others would not be. Naffur’s eyes widened. Mareen’s Birthday! It was still before noon, but if she had come early to set things up-

He leapt to his feet. Neveah tilted her hand at him in askance.

Gritting his teeth, he said. “There are other people in the park.”

“The Knight-Errant Ducis is correct,” Alumuran said with glittering eyes. “Whether it is an attack on us directly or simply on the legitimacy of the Order structure, we need to take it seriously. Let us make this faction regret drawing the ire of the Council of Orders.”



Comments

Ha, thank you. The vote of confidence means a lot.

PuDDleS4263

I vote you write what you'd like to write, your writing is at its best when you're having fun and becoming excited about the topics at hand rather than plodding through the narrative restricted. We pay for you to tell the story your way!

Daniel Brunsdon

For me it's not even that I dislike these chapters anymore it's more that you pick the worst times to start them. Like if there was one or two after every round of the tournament it would flow a lot better

Noveus

Cheers electric ❤️

Radar

Better real question: Where the hell is Thorn!?

ElectricintheForest

While I kind of think you're being an ass, Radar, I too speed-read through the Naffur sections. It's clear he's not actually important to the world, or Randidly, so I can't find myself caring about his story. Also, as a character, he's fundamentally flawed by not having any real agency. Things happen to him, or around him, but he doesn't have any meaningful desires to carry him through those events. Ghosthound, on the other hand, is the perfect character because he /always/ has a goal, and /always/ is taking steps to achieve it. Trying to parallel RG and Naffur fails, because fundamentally they're nothing alike. Even the ghosthound flashbacks showed him, young, desperately trying to improve himself.

ElectricintheForest

I have to be honest I've skimmed over a lot of the side chapters especially ones like this.

Patrick C

Oh, I understand some people like this stuff even though you called it a bit boring. I have always looked at this story as a vehicle for P to grow into a successful commercial talent and merely offer my humble opinions as honest, singular feedback in that vein for his use or not. Cheers.

Radar

I do not agree with you. Wile this Naffur chapters might be a little boring, some additional world building would be fun. Some of us like more details in how the world works after the System, even if it is made-up economy stuff. Everything is made up in stores, why not make stories more alive through random details here and there?

Tomislav Fistrić

Better question: Does anyone want to know?

Radar

Sorry, but the Naffur chapters, are a pedantic diversion that I simply speed read through with zero interest. Thank you for not delving into post-apocalyptic, magical gaming-based economic systems - its not real, nor relevant to the story, so why should we have to study? God, I miss your comic relief filler with Roger - at least that was fun. IMO, you unnecessarily bogged the story down at a critical juncture and screwed your pacing. It seems like you went to CA to smoke some weed. Focus man!

Radar

'introduced himself at Kelly' -> as '“Order Mechina?”' -> Machina(might be intentional) '“With the Order Sanus being entity pushed for by Mrs. Northwind.”' -> I'd assume it should be either 'an entity' or 'entirely pushed' 'Kelley said' -> Kelly 'aghast they streamed out' -> as they 'horrible look recently' -> luck I have no particular opinion on Naffur himself, but the side story seems to be somewhat important to the exposition we have of the developing post-system world, and it does shed a lot of light on the orders and other important characters.

jailbreak

Je have from the atart had an image of life death and rebirth latley the life parth jave been the strongest, now the death part is. So now he have to work on the rebirth parth, his ashe is an great fertilizer so that is an start.

Håvard

But the real question is. Where is Arbor

Azuolas Korsakas

Honestly the whole ark in Shal's world is kinda boring to me, and these random side stories aren't helping any. It's starting to feel like a lot of filler without any direction. Especially with Rand going from building an Yggdrasil image about trees, life and growth, and ending up all ash.

Mira

i agree, personally I don't like this char and I just want to be done w/ him

I agree wholeheartedly. I can understand that Puddles wants/needs to take breaks from writing the Randidly plotline, but the sheer number of side characters - not even secondary characters but teriarty characters - that have an over abundance of chapters dedicated to them specifically is tiring. Look at Hank and the kid who’s now the Zone 1 champion as an example. (Hell, the kid is so unimportant now that I can’t even remember his name.) Both characters had an extrodinary amount of words dedicated to them and now they’re just tossed aside. Naffur will undoubtedly fade away in much the same way. The cast of characters seemingly aren’t ranked in any order of importance. It just goes Randidly > 25 different random people who’s names you forget 100 chapters later.

Subliminary

Finish Naffur. Thanks for the chapter.

Joshua Little

Is there anyway we can get the english version of the orders everytime they are mentioned? I literally have no clue which order is which.

Sin

I don't like broken up stories so I vote for Naffur plus the Nafur story is interesting it shows us what has been going on while Ghosthound has been gone.

Chris

If finishing Naffur off now means having more uninterrupted Randidly, then I'm all game. Side-characters are nice, but too many side stories about them make it off-putting to read. I want to be invested in each of these because they have their own unique and interesting feel, but the placement of their stories makes it difficult to not be disgruntled. However, I'm thinking you like these side-stories because you get a mini-break from Randidly.

Matemeo

I would like Naffur's saga. In the flow of it and am really digging it, but definitely looking forward to getting back to GH.

Horatio Hornet

Does anyone happen to know off the top of their heads the naffur chapters?

I have toi admit that I am loving Naffur’s saga. And would like to see more of it,

Gabriel

I'm torn, but I think finishing naffur now is better. It does seem like an interesting plot hook that is happening now. And naffur realizing with what kind of powerhouses he has been sitting right now would be bliss

René Varaan

"His Path had given him such horrible look->[luck] recently. "

CptJimmy

No more Naffur. Finish this side story and get back to the main course and let it run uninterrupted. Honestly there’s already so many other side characters I don’t see why new ones are being added and given so much attention, like this Naffur saga.

Subliminary

I vote for Naffur, better to finish this and then concentrate in Rand.

Ferco

I need me some more GHOSTHOUND!!! Who is this Naffur guy anyway? I don't remember who he is, is he important? If side stories are a thing, why haven't you done any for Donnyton and its main characters, I feel like they just got written off... I thought they were major players, not side characters, oh well...

CptJimmy

Always Randidly. Naffur is nice, but I think it's enough of him for now.

Hornblower

I vote wrapping naffur up for a longer stretch of randidly before the next pov switch.

Ashrothe

First fight please!

Kurt A

Yes please let Naffurs story come to a natural stop first and then uninterrupted Randidly

Muntu Omnyama

I always save the fudge for last when I eat ice cream sundaes, I vote naffur now so we can get uninterrupted Randy later. Also hopefully that'll prevent an abrupt POV switch. Plus it is neat seeing outside perspectives on core characters.

Gardor

First fight would be nice.

Solopath

I would like to see the first fight as well

I would prefer to see the Orders and Naffur. Learn some things about the new characters.

agentjongon

I like Naffur but I would like to see the first fight. Thank you.

Kyle J Smith


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