The Chutes and Ladders of life | GENTLE VIEWING AFTER DARK Ep 2
Added 2024-01-13 06:19:43 +0000 UTC
Comments
Excited for any European content that is to come!
Conor
2024-01-18 16:40:54 +0000 UTCThis was So Great, Guys. I Love how you open yourselves up to us and one another, though you don't mean to.
scott wagner
2024-01-18 15:25:40 +0000 UTCOf course I was here to the end, you two are friends I will hear you out, that’s what friends do. Hint hint with mom…I am old enough not to make predictions and sadly as you age you are less about people u don’t know or interact with. I hope you two get your Europe trip in, I hope you two continue to grow and love together, I hope for a crazy sexual year between you two ( while your young present yourselves to each other endlessly), maybe New York, I hope both get on the way to publish, I hope you both can feel and hear yourself, yourselves, and your families. Once you hear as an ally the world changes. Lots of admiration and support from Calgary. Alastair I am on book 3 of a new Micheal Sullivan series. Be well stay well my young friends. ❤️ I wish I could sit across the table I would enter a more serious, issue based conversation.
Brad Harper
2024-01-14 06:37:06 +0000 UTCWe all have stories to tell and we should have the right to tell our story. Goon on ya, Zach for sharing yours. 👍🏽 Happy 2024! I predict A & Z will be traveling to Europe in 2024. (I hope it comes true.) 🤞🏽
Michael Ocampo
2024-01-13 16:23:14 +0000 UTCZachary: I want to remind you that you are in a position of power with respect to your family. Not only is your truth yours, but you (and Alastair) have developed a big wide-reaching platform and have established credibility and can communicate far more effectively and widely than anyone in your family ever could I expect. (I wonder if your Mom wanting to write her memoir about her relationship with her mother is like a reflection of what youre' thinking and doing right now....) You and your Mom remind me a lot of me and my Mom. I can't say I've experienced anything like your childhood but in adulthood I have had some very difficult times with both my parents alternately (the divorced around when I was 13). I'm 48 soon and my parents are in their early- and mid-seventies now - so they're fully boomers and seniors and aging. I don't roll my eyes and say "ok boomer" but I push back on what they say or think about me and remind myself it is largely irrelevant. A lot of the criticism I receive from them I can easily ignore and discredit because 1) they aren't living my life and 2) the world has changed a lot since they were young and 3) I'm not even young any more and I recognize how much I am no longer the "it" demographic. The other day Mom dropped a bomb in something she decided that was completely a critique of me. Instead of getting mad or fighting I expressed disappointment and said "ok well, if that's how you want to be perceived I will make sure to discuss it with [my brother] so he and I are on the same page" and it was effective. A week later she walked it back. But she is aware that her children's lives now exist despite her and outside of her control, not because of her efforts. Its a little more difficult with your living at home and needing / feeling good about being in your family's company. I've been there too. I feel in response to classic criticism of you from you parents I would respond like "you [parents] need to focus on your own lives and interests because these are the golden years where you still have your health and career and time flies" also "be careful in how you proceed because I will be choosing your retirement home". A lot of my mother's behaviour recently has been a relief, in a way, because I'm confident that my regard and care for her is greater than the care she has shown towards others in our family. It sounds callous as I write it but I can't change who she is or how she behaves and instead I'm focused on how I am carrying myself with respect to her. When I was in my mid-twenties I worked for a professor at the University who was a self-important asshole and and intellectual bully. The University didn't want to do anything about it because he had tenure and I was encouraged to go after his funding. I didn't have the energy. But what really excited me was the fact that he would be dead far sooner than me, and I would have decades to tell my story and truth long after he was gone. Yeah your Mom's statement about doing the best she knew how when she was younger was a good start for your healing but I also hear implicitly she's saying she has nothing to answer for about that time, therefore... Tread carefully because I think you hold all the cards here and haven't quite realized it. I suspect you sister is reflecting your Mom's fright of the consequential damage that could (will) happen as you rightly process and heal yourself. Just as a phoenix rises from the ashes, don't forget it burns in a terrible conflagration first ;-) --- lots of love, Ryan
Ryan Barry
2024-01-13 15:12:01 +0000 UTCAlastair: something my brother (health professional) said to my Mom and me a few times as I was caring for my Uncle full time (who has Alzheimer's dementia and was still living by himself) was "what would he do if there was a fire?" meaning - would he know where the fire extinguisher is and how to operate it? would he remember to call 911? would he try to fight it or panic and pass out from smoke inhalation? or even scarier would he just leave the apartment into the hall and forget why he was out there? It's a good judgment or evaluation criteria to have in your mind about if/when your Mom becomes a danger to herself or others and you don't need to know any clinical details about her condition. It would be nice if you could help your Mom but she is her own person making her own decisions. Even if those decisions are poor, or confused by her condition, society lets adults make their own choices - until they are a danger to themselves or others. Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. --- lots of love, Ryan
Ryan Barry
2024-01-13 14:12:47 +0000 UTCI know that it's easy for me to say, but just ignore the comments about your weight. I have been watching u 4 almost 8 yrs now & u both always look good.
Jimmy
2024-01-13 08:22:51 +0000 UTCI literally rolled my eyes when you mentioned people commenting about your weight. So f*cking stupid. You guys have always looked incredible. If you picked any physique either of you have had at any point in your lives and offered it to me, I would not only happily accept it; I would think I was a f*cking sex god.
Jared
2024-01-13 08:04:29 +0000 UTCZach, please be proud of your honesty. You are doing exactly the right things for yourself. And at this point in your life that is truly what matters most.
Rory Poulsen
2024-01-13 07:36:51 +0000 UTC
