I'm not in a great place | ZACH AFTER DARK Ep 6
Added 2023-12-16 09:38:33 +0000 UTC
Comments
Desmond Tutu once wisely said that “there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” What he meant by this is that everything in life that seems daunting, overwhelming, and even impossible can be accomplished gradually by taking on just a little at a time.
J BORG
2023-12-31 21:33:23 +0000 UTCYou need your husband to give you a hug and tell you it's ok.
Christopher Salerno
2023-12-24 07:29:02 +0000 UTCIt is insight full how you are coming thru this very hard times. I think you should become a counselor ! I mean it your words help so many of your readers Thank You!
Ric
2023-12-21 05:10:13 +0000 UTCThank you so much for sharing these thoughts. You said a few times that you were looking for “release” from your past traumas. Trauma isn’t a pain or hurt that you heal from and move on. Trauma is life-altering and changes who you are. That said, you can learn how it affects your perception and your response to different things. You can begin to make allowances for that and can learn to live with your trauma and stop letting it harm you and your relationships. I do believe you are well on your way to that - but I’m not sure you’ll ever fully find the “release” you speak of. Peace & Love to you.
ChristopherADK
2023-12-19 02:01:38 +0000 UTCThinking more on this I'm reminded of a period of depression I experienced at University. I had an excellent physician and he recommended The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J Bourne. It could provide some structure and guidance for anyone who is struggling - it certainly helped me a lot. This was my first resource and I highly recommend it. One activity in the book is to score your last year's life events and add up points to give you a stress score. The overall score is not so memorable but the rank of individual events and point scores surprised me. i was surprised that many positive events are stressful and that some basic life events I took for granted actually rank quite highly in terms of contributing to stress overall. I believe it was adapted from the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory which is available free here https://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory
Ryan Barry
2023-12-19 01:34:45 +0000 UTCThank you Zach for being vulnerable and sharing such a personal part of your life. There are so many people that are helped by your videos. You’re not alone. I understand what you mean about therapy. I had to find a therapist who wouldn’t just listen but would give me assignment homework related to our discussion or my current therapy then we’d discuss it next visit. It was only by having a professional who would make me do work towards recovering that I was able to release years of anger. But you know yourself better than anyone. All I know is continue to work on it. It’ll be worth it and pay off. We love and Alastair and care for you both.
REW
2023-12-17 13:52:45 +0000 UTCDang, kid, that hurt my heart. Everybody has their issues and their times to "not be okay" and that's okay. Don't be afraid to talk to someone. Try one time to see how it goes. Or ramble at us if it helps. And while this really pains me, "Roll, Tide. Beat the wolverines" Love ya, man. Alastair too.
Bobby
2023-12-17 03:35:09 +0000 UTCThis one moved me Zach. I can’t describe how proud I am of you for how much work you’ve put into yourself over the years. Not many people have the will to bring it upon themselves to develop and come to terms with unfortunate events. I would be fully on board to have a session as a group where we just talk about our feelings and lives. This year had given me a boat load of hardship that has shaken me to the core. I just want it to get better already.
L OL
2023-12-17 03:09:02 +0000 UTCI watched this vlog 3 times. What I heard and felt was not primarily an angry man. It was a man who suffer, an man in pain. A long, long time ago, I was gang raped by 5 or six friends of mine. It is easier to hold a 5 foot 3 and 110 pounds than a taller and heavier guy. We were all drunk though. I just put that in a little drawer in my mind and forget it. It came back 40 years later when, watching Highlander, I saw Jamie being violently raped by Captain Black. It almost destroyed but, after some time, I told myself : this is my past. Do I want it to be my present until I die. Sure I remember all, the laughings, the words they said, the pain, principally the pain physical but also the rage and incapacity to do something to defend myself. It was like : I don't have anything to do with that. I worked to ease the pain. Now I remember but it does not affect me anymore. And you have Alastair who is your present and your future. This is him who comes first. Not ghosts of the past.
Alain Lavoie
2023-12-17 01:34:53 +0000 UTCDealing with trauma is not an easy process. The first thing that is important to understand is that your trauma is valid. There are always other people out there who have had to deal with worse situations than you but you can empathize with their situations without minimizing your own. For too long I used it as an excuse for not dealing with my own trauma. Don't make the same mistake I did if you can. 💜
Jared
2023-12-17 00:59:21 +0000 UTC
