From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #036

Welcome to blog 36, and episode #7 of A,Blog,C’s! The blog where I write about the first word that comes into my brain based on this weeks’ letter!

Today we’re working with the letter G.

Geeeeee.. G G G.

Gibberish?

I mean.. This blog is pretty much just gibberish isn’t it 😂 Does that count as this weeks letter being covered? Hehe just kidding

Giraffe! I love how giraffes have that long tongue! Have you ever seen a giraffe eat? It is so crazy

Three grainy copy and pasted images from Google and a YouTube video for good measure...

Oh my GOD while I was googling the giraffe tongue a fact came up that said giraffe’s tongues are black to avoid getting sunburnt. That is so sick, imagine a life where you eat SO MUCH that your body adjusts and makes it black so it doesn’t get sunburnt.

In fairness to the giraffe, a burnt tongue might just be one of the worst things on Earth. And by that I obviously am not including actual bad things, but of all the not-bad-bad-things I think that is right up there.

You can’t taste anything for DAYS and you can’t really perform any first aid because what would you do? Put a burn aid ointment on your tongue? Yeah great, the burn is fixed but I’ve got diarrhoea from ingesting a fucking ointment?

Isn’t ointment a funny word. And concept. What separates a cream from an ointment? Viscosity? Performance? Application?

I have to use a fatty ointment for my psoriasis and I was telling producer Cam about it the other day and he started laughing. I assumed he was bullying me before he told me he misheard and thought I said I had to use a fanny ointment for my psoriasis hahahahaha

VERY different things (and no, no psoriasis on my fanny, thanks for asking)

We’ve gone from giraffes to ointment to my psoriasis free fanny, let’s throw in one more thing for good measure - back to the burnt tongue…

You know what else is AWFUL?! Biting your tongue! It always comes out of nowhere and really fucks up your day. How come you can bite your tongue so hard and so painfully by accident? Surely there should be some brain blocker to save us from our teeth?!

Fuckin love ya.

Toni xxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoox

PS the best thing ever is coming tomorrow and you’re gonna love it. Can’t wait to share it with you!