Hi, Patrons!
We're coming up on Episode 500... and we have no idea what to do.
Well, that's not entirely true. We have some ideas. But we're hoping to hear from you, too--after all, you're the folks who keep the show running, and some of our most avid listeners! If you've got questions, thoughts, or requests for our 500th(!) episode, we'd love to see them!
(We can't guarantee that everything will end up in the episode, obviously, but we'll do what we can!)
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2025-08-18 18:27:30 +0000 UTC
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In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland.
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The Black Womb Project
X-Men Forever #1-3
Prosh
Several custom-grown people
A motley crew of mutants (and one human)
Cataclysm keys
The assassination of Graydon Creed
Several poignant reunions
2025-08-18 03:22:57 +0000 UTC
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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.
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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.
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In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).
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A startling absence
The X-Men’s big-screen debut
An X-film that might have been
X-Men (2000), in general; and related publications
Some very casting
What makes a good adaptation
Wolverine’s hair
Those costumes
The cinematic X-Men
The cinematic Bro...
2025-07-14 03:13:49 +0000 UTC
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In which the Shockwave Riders are exceptionally silly; we are deeply impressed by brain sharks; and chrome plating and gun arms are among the lesser explored recurring Claremont motifs.
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In which we record live from the Library of Congress; time travel complicates everything; X-Men is a fundamentally queer narrative; we attempt to summarize a lot of history very fast; and when identities are politicized, claiming them becomes a political act.
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LC-GLOBE
The first openly queer X-Man
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Why we do what we do
Why the X-Men are worth studying
Retur...
2025-06-23 03:16:50 +0000 UTC
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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.
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In which Pete Wisdom does his best Charles Xavier; Alastair Stuart has not aged well; San Francisco has monster problems; and there’s probably an alternate universe where Dr. Niles Roman fronts a metal band for toddlers.
X-PLAINED:
Join us in Washington, DC on June 6th for an X-beginner-friendly, mutant-metaphor-focused, LIVE episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men!
2025-05-27 21:50:06 +0000 UTC
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In which we reap the consequences of our choices; possession is 18/10 of the law; Sinister dresses for the occasion; Hank gets his groove back; Havok of Earth-1298 is a jerk; Hank loses his groove; Captain America blows up the moon; the Beyonder experiences a stirring; Dracula makes a deal; and Mutant X May comes to an end.
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In which Mutant X May continues; the X-Men return from space; it’s okay not to fill in every detail of a world; Havok leans into parenthood; we meet the only well-adjusted Cyclops in the multiverse; in any universe, Forge has terrible judgment; and the Six get some new members.
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In which we embark on a Great Work; it remains hard to be Alex Summers; and it’s also always Inferno on Earth-1298.
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In which we go back to the future of Generation X; Jay once again gets pedantic about lettering; Generation X takes on the carceral state; we take a deep dive into the late ‘90s; Jubilee does her best Nick Fury; and superpowers should be noisier.
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In which the 2000 Magik miniseries is not a good comics series but is an excellent heavy metal concept album; Nightmare has a nightmare; and tubas work differently in Hell.
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In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.
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In which Pete Wisdom canonically smells weird; we are inordinately entertained by a villain; everyone levels up their superpowers; and you probably shouldn’t shave the logo of your secret super team into the side of your head.
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In which Adrienne Frost is absolutely terrible (and so was Ronald Reagan); you should not put guns in your butt; Synch deserved better; and Jay and Miles inventory their favorite dangling plot threads of the ‘90s.
X-PLAINED:
Several potential origins of Havok’s stupid hat
Generation X #67-70
Revolution (more) (again)
Shockwave (more) (again)
Adrienne Frost (more) (again)
The New Xa...
2025-03-24 02:08:04 +0000 UTC
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In which we check in on Nate Grey; yet another Madelyne Pryor is not what she seems; dead men tell tales; there are a lot of Canadians out there; and Nate gets a makeover.
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In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.
X-PLAINED:
Triathlon
The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
Erotic skyscrapers
Magneto (again) (forever)
X-Men Tijuana Bibles
The Genoshan C...
2025-03-04 20:14:55 +0000 UTC
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In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.
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In which reality shatters; Ghost Rider wants friends; Jay’s toddler weighs in on the X-Men; the Phoenix costume is pretty much perfect; Caliban puts all his resources into an epic mount; and the future is so bright you’re gonna need shades.
X-PLAINED:
The Triune Understanding
Ages of Apocalypse
Uncanny X-Men #378
Cable #77
Wolverine #148
X-Men Unlimi...
2025-02-17 02:32:57 +0000 UTC
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In which we remain adamant pro-POG advocates; Artie and Leech have adventures; Firestar and Emma Frost get some resolution; Santa Claus may or may not be the avatar of Cyttorak; Black Tom Cassidy exceeds expectations; and Monet has vampire problems.
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In which we wrap up John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; the Demon Bear returns (kinda); four Moonstars are not in fact better than one; the Queen of Star Swords is an extremely rad villain; and X-Force takes a very contained multiversal tour.
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In which the Warlock ongoing series is fun, and fun is good; people should maybe leave Doug Ramsey’s grave alone; Tony Stark is probably not in touch with the Indigo Girls; the heroes skate awfully close to the “no killing” line; Bastion gets exhumed, rehumed, and re-exhumed; you should really read the Avengers Academy Infinity Comic; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Because reality is full of things, the Winter Special is… not quite ready. But it will be in a week, and we think you’re going to love it! Apologies for the delay and we’ll see you then!
2025-01-13 01:42:15 +0000 UTC
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In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.
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In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.
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HALELUJAH! THEY'RE LETTING US POST LINKS AGAIN!
In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.
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For some damn reason, Patreon STILL won't let me make link posts for our episodes, so here's the link.
In which Cable may or may not have be...
2024-12-02 03:26:20 +0000 UTC
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