Gilded Cage progress 11-13-2022
Added 2022-11-13 19:51:08 +0000 UTCDidn't get anything done yesterday unfortunately. (I'm a bad guy.) But today I managed to get 2.5+k words written.
We get into the main circus tent, Leon finds a minotaur he used to know.
Comments
CH 7 Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 12:18 PM] Lines of commoners had already begun to form, of gryphons and humans in plain attire. (Problem: what stops the gryphons from just flying in a different way and not pay? Humans sure a wall would work but gryphons can fly) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 12:24 PM] even if he loved the circus, today was supposed to be one of business. (I assume he just likes it even though he's never been too one?) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 12:25 PM] My word, Luna look, It’s as marvelous as I remember. Do you see the rides? Hear the games? (Is this the same circus from before in Olas life? And did they have rides back them?) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 12:33 PM] with their arms crossded (crossed) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 12:38 PM] Oh, I love it when we get a feathered Karen. (Modern terminology, replace karen) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 12:49 PM] You stand before Olas Mysticfeather, the one being that gave you permission to have your little circus in the first place.” He extended his wings with a squawk, dragging in his mortified daughter and the groaning half-elf. (Who's talking here Olas or the halfling? Transition is not clear) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 12:58 PM] You forgive my associates (you'll have to forgive)(or please forgive) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 12:59 PM] Just send my regard to (regard or regards?) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:00 PM] without nary a fuss. (Any) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:12 PM] he’d inadvertently found himself. (Add in at the end) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:21 PM] From one magician to the other, (is krantor a magician?l Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:22 PM] fireballs from his talons, teleport us from location to location (replace comma with and) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:25 PM] “Look, do you want alone time with your woman or not Krantor?” (woman or mate?) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:33 PM] There was clearly trick about this little game (a trick to this game) (or something like it) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:35 PM] stay on the graces (in) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:36 PM] Now that he could hop on board with. (This) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:41 PM] Watch were you’re (where) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:43 PM] Touch one feather on his head (uumm he grabbed him soooo he technically did touch him, lol) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:44 PM] overconfident man (half orc) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:46 PM] press of the rune. It jabbed into the half-orc’s chest in the blink of an eye, crackling with power. (rune, before being jabbed into) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:49 PM] Anyone else want to try and have a go at myself or my gryphon (Olas: your gryphon Leo? :3) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:50 PM] How you whipped out the shaft of Qo (I assume Qo is a name right?) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 1:54 PM] whipped his haunches with her tail, (would that even hurt?)
Cryodrake
2022-11-19 20:56:17 +0000 UTCCH6 Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 7:13 PM] wrapped Leon like cloak. (like a cloak) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:20 PM] in that world he was free (in that world, he was free) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:23 PM] with one of his foretalons, (fore talons) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:23 PM] the last of it’s payload. (its) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:23 PM] needed a wake up call (wakeup) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:24 PM] with a clang and (clang, and) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:25 PM] “Its better (It's) (lol the one time you didn't do it right) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:26 PM] With a final roar he snatched the gryphon by his feathery chest, pulling him up to stare into his eyes. (this doesnt make sense, hes chasing him and then he catches him... so he pulls him up?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:26 PM] me here right?” (here, right) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:26 PM] Whats the matter (What's) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:27 PM] Look, lets go outside, (Look let's go) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:28 PM] I’m sure that’s one of those blessing things that Hekate can do right? (I'm sure Hekate has a blessing she can use to help you out.) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:28 PM] her buddies clothes? (buddies') Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:29 PM] getting wet now is it?” (now, is it) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:30 PM] hard between his beak. (word says beaks so double check this) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:32 PM] on his pack and redid (his pack, and) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:33 PM] He opened up the (remove up) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:33 PM] gryphon snickered, his (snickered; his) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:34 PM] that your this (you're) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:36 PM] They darted too and fro through (word be angry) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:37 PM] And you back with another mission? (And you said we have another mission?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:38 PM] I mean, you actually preferred the (do you actually prefer the) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:38 PM] your sweetyheart?” (sweetheart) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:39 PM] Instead he was forced (Instead, he) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:40 PM] behind the ear or no (ear, or no) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:41 PM] have the gaul to ask (word be angry) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:41 PM] God I hate you, (Gods, I hate you,) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:42 PM] windows most expectantly (most or almost?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:51 PM] stretching his wings and (wings, and) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:52 PM] and lets talk (let's) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:53 PM] them, squawking and (squawking,) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:54 PM] “I figure the temple of Fureen?” (BETTER DESCRIBE THE TEMPLE ON EDIT) Gardens-Veggies-Clerics (uumm, yeah) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:57 PM] “I figure the temple of Fureen?” (BETTER DESCRIBE THE TEMPLE ON EDIT) Gardens-Veggies-Clerics Krantor cursed, “Lucky guess.” (Krantor squawked in amusement, "Nice try but she's at the temple of Loki instead." "A ok I guess Fureen must be full this morning." It was but a further step before it dawned on the half elf, "Hey wait a minute Loki doesn't have temples!" Krantor laughed as hard as he could from the fool he made of Leon.) (silly little thing i thought of x3) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 8:59 PM] temple to Fureen, champion of the sun. (Champion of the sun? I think goddess of the sun. Though technically she is a champion of the sun then. Also is the sun actually Fureen herself? Or is it a manifestation of her power?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:00 PM] orange robes, scales and silks (scales?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:04 PM] was similar to (like) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:05 PM] night at Olas’ (Olas's) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:09 PM] “He wants to take his daughter to the circus. Wants us to play bodyguard to them.” (circus, and wants us to play bodyguard for them.) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:10 PM] I havn’t been to (haven't) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:11 PM] Groaning, Leon had to silence their chirping laughter, “He wants to take his daughter to the circus. Wants us to play bodyguard to them.” “Bodyguard?” Hekate stopped her laughing, head cocked, “You must be joking.” “Sadly, no.” The female leaped up, bouncing on her paws, trilling and warbling. “We’re going to the circus!” He eyed her playful expression, what was everyone’s deal with the circus? “That would be the case.” “Ooooo Krantor! I havn’t been to the circus since I was a little gryphet!” Krantor brushed up against his mate, nibbling at her feathers with an amused swish of the tail. “Sweet gig too. I figure it’s not just being paid to go the circus?” Pacing now, Leon held the bridge of his nose, “Olas wants me…us to be his bodyguards.” (you typed up this twice) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:13 PM] Olas paced out in the morning sun (pretty sure this is a me thing, but paced out in the morning?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:14 PM] humming to one self, (himself?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:14 PM] favorite mercenary on his wing (on his wing or by his wing?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:18 PM] Now he was dressed as a commoner gryphon might have been, with his fanciful gear replaced with mere bits of cloth. (wait, if gryphons are ok with nothing on, why is he wearing clothes?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:18 PM] around his foretalons and (fore talons) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:21 PM] over if he’d actually come. (word says you can remove actually but ill let you decide on that one) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:22 PM] the man’s horse, catch sight of his vigilant gaze. (the man's horse might catch his gaze) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:22 PM] spreading his hinds and fluffing (hinds, and) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:23 PM] stroking the gryphoness’ fur (gryphoness's) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:25 PM] Thing i noticed, you never said where Olas was at that start of this. So all of a sudden were just at the stables. Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:25 PM] of the percheon’s staring (word be mad) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:26 PM] to play.” (random " ) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:27 PM] Red eyes travelled all over his form, (confirm Isadoria has red eyes) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:27 PM] Not a hint of nobility on you, Have you gone mad? (double check, there are multiple ways you could type this out so i don't know which way you wanted it) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:28 PM] around her foretalons. (fore talons) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:28 PM] That was the idea Isadora (idea,) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:29 PM] of your stature.” (statures) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:30 PM] piece of boring, pathetic piece trash (used piece twice) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:30 PM] Cause I enjoy tormenting you.” (I'm here because i enjoy tormenting you.) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:31 PM] Of course she (course, she) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:32 PM] So snap shut (So, snap) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:33 PM] So feel free (So, feel) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:35 PM] for clearly he is a (clearly, he) (not sure on this but word suggested it) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 9:35 PM] He, unlike myself can handle the contemptible shrew that you’ve always been. (myself, can) (word didn't pick this up but im pretty sure one should be there) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:01 PM] Damn that woman. (Would a gryphon use woman? I think gryphon or gryphoness would do better) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:02 PM] own greyed talons (confirm talons are grey) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:03 PM] Thankfully a parting of this dark cloud had come in the shape of a half-elf riding his horse gloriously up the path. (Thankfully, the dark clouds of doubt were parted upon seeing the shape of a half-elf riding) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:05 PM] And you’ve brought (extra space there) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:05 PM] But we arrive, (arrived) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:06 PM] wrong with holywater. (holy water) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:06 PM] I got some iron tablets (wait what's the iron tablets for?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:07 PM] Whats the matter (What's) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:07 PM] So you noticed! (So, you) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:08 PM] looked away, but was (remove comma) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:11 PM] “Look Olas, we’re here on business. We…I’m not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs alright? We’re just here to make sure you and Luna have a happy daddy daughter time. So don’t try and go fucking me in that circus alright?” (Krantor, "Don't know what you're talking about but I'm totally here to fulfill his perverted bird needs! Right Hekate?") Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:12 PM] Leon’s ever reddening cheeks and nervous gulp were ever so delightful. (did he take of his helmet? Or does his helmet not have a face cover?) Cryodrake, [11/17/2022 10:12 PM] Has she changed her mind (forgot question mark here) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 11:33 AM] Whenever I was troubled it was there. (What?) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 11:41 AM] Onyx and grey clothing was draped around her neck in criss-cross patterns. Foretalons and her (criss cross and foretalons) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 11:47 AM] Lets just hope this circus is not some run down affair (affair or fair?) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 11:49 AM] the trade goddess, (include gods name here) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 11:49 AM] are pushing more profit. (For more) Cryodrake, [11/19/2022 11:52 AM] He clove a hole (clove?)
Cryodrake
2022-11-19 20:55:09 +0000 UTCThanks, good to hear!
Justin lee
2022-11-16 00:22:27 +0000 UTCI feel for Olas, I really do. This has been really enjoyable.
ghostman
2022-11-14 02:01:53 +0000 UTC
