Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 67: Jackpot

The slot canyon was unlike any landscape I'd encountered in my twenty-five years. I mean, sure, I’d never been out of the Heltenic Forest, but this was crazy.

We'd been walking on a path in the full sun of the desert, scorched and sunburnt. But here in the canyon, in the shade of its walls, twenty feet below the surface, it was cold. Maybe not cold when compared to an Ursine Wall winter, but freezing compared to the desert we'd abandoned above.

The ground was a sand-pebble mix, stones smooth with wear, and it was oddly damp. An oasis of water in a landscape that had almost none. Even so, we didn't see very many creatures. Ravens watched us from above, flying over the canyon and marking our progress with caws.

Here and there, the walls widened up, and a rare tree sprouted on an outcrop.

"That's an aspen, I think." Ash said, walking over to examine the tree.

The ground rumbled.

"That's not a tree!" Tandy shouted the obvious as the tree ripped itself out of the ground.

The tree monster towered above us, not a legendary beast, but one that'd been lying in wait. It swiped one paw down, grabbing Ash in a leafy hand. The once-dormant tree sprouted a rough face made of foliage. It lifted Ash towards a knotted gap in its trunk full of gnashing teeth.

Ash screamed, and I didn't blame him.

Throw me at it. I can help.

I didn't bother to ask how as I [Slug Tossed] Richard at the top of the tree monster. He hit and clung onto the branches, a yellow disk of goo.

I watched as Leo swung his axe at the trunk. The head rebounding hard, throwing him back.

"That's no aspen, it's ironwood!" Leo yelled.

I shook my head, realizing that my hammer would not be much use if the tree was an ironwood. Only an [Enchanted] weapon could inflict much damage, and Leo’s axe suggested that even that might be limited.

Richard dropped onto one of its leafy eyebrows. The face wiggled dramatically, trying to dislodge him. Richard’s slime trail glistened in the sun.

Tandy threw a web at the elbow joint of the arm holding Ash. It stuck and hardened, not allowing the arm to bend further. With Ash’s movement towards the mouth halted, the tree looked at Tandy and grinned.

Another joint further up the branch popped, twisting to move Ash closer from a different angle. The sharp teeth in its maw glistened with anticipation.

I had to do something. I reached into my bag, looking for anything useful. My hand fell upon the cluster of lucky nails I’d kept. They were special [Steel Nails] I’d gained through a skill.

I ran at the tree, dodging a root that tried to trip me. Resting the first nail, a fat spike used for heavy-duty construction, against the trunk, I brought [Guardian’s Promise] down on its head.

I heard a satisfying split of the wood as the nail slammed into place. Steel was harder than ironwood.

The monster screamed, releasing Ash. He dropped to the ground in a heap.

Quickly, I set another steel nail. I’d sentimentally kept half a dozen of them. Looking at the split in the trunk, I placed the second nail higher, just beyond the split. Another swing, and a louder crack sounded.

"Duck!" Tandy yelled, and I hit the floor as a huge branch swung over my head. Grabbing my next nail, I aimed it up into the gap my previous swings had created. Just as I was about to swing, Leo roughly pushed me away.

He triggered a skill, [Precise Strike], and I watched as the blade of his axe hit directly up through the crack. He slammed all his power straight through the weak spot in the trunk.

Meredeath fired a green [Death Bolt] into the eye that Richard hadn't gooped over. Ash ducked as a leafy appendage swiped at Richard, trying to clear its vision.

“Place another nail!” Leo commanded as he ducked, winding up for another strike.

I shoved one into the deep gap in the trunk and Leo took a swing at my last lucky nail.

"[Precise Strike], [Power Strike]," he grunted. I watched as the power behind his awkward swing almost tripled with magical input.

The wood split in an explosion of splinters. A crack threaded through the ragged bark up through the maw that'd been its mouth. The creature slumped over.

We all waited, tense. Ready for a second round. Richard sat on its eyebrow munching leaves and continuously expelling an acidic goo into its eyes.

[Iron tree guard defeated. You have earned experience. Richard used the skill [Final Blow], gaining double experience.]

I still got it!

Of course, he finished the beast off by munching its leaves. The smug slug dropped from his perch on top of the tree's brow with a wet plop. His antennae swung in the air in victory.

I picked him up by his slimy scruff and placed him on his normal roost. Bracing for criticism, I turned towards the team.

"Your slug did it again!" Leo was disgusted.

I didn't blame him. Richard had been using this skill a lot since the dungeon run at Eddie’s Mill. Leo had earned the same skill but never triggered it at the right moment. That took planning, and a level of intellect Leo struggled with.

"Richard, you've got to stop stealing Leo's experience," I berated my companion, not for the first time.

Your experience, you mean? His voice was haughty as he began to clean his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." And I didn't. Leo’s the one with the [Final Blow] skill.

It was your nail. I'm your [Companion]. Haven’t you realized you get some of that double experience bonus?

“Sorry, Leo,” I said as I looked in the crack of the tree trunk. Sure enough, my nail was at the top. I reached in and grabbed it.

[Skill Acquired: You have gained a new [Dead Wrong] skill, [Loot]. You will now be able to use this skill to loot any party kills you touch. At the base level, this skill provides [0%] extra loot.]

Holy shit!

I touched the tree, whispering my new skill, “[Loot].”

[You have looted the iron tree guard. You receive:

3 Used Steel Nails

2 Iron Ingots [Components]

2 Hardwoods [Components]

1 [Heartree] [Component]

The loot dumped onto the canyon floor in a pile. Leo stared at the hunks of wood and iron ingots in surprise.

“Did you just use the [Loot] skill?” Ash whooped. “I’ve got to be dreaming. Do you know how rare that is?”

It’s a big deal.

I looked at my companions, wide-eyed. This could be a game-changer. We didn’t have to spend hours breaking down monsters or beasts into components. Or, feel guilty as we left the carcasses unharvested. Selling this to crafters would give us a whole new income source.

Maybe a utility [Adventurer] wasn’t as useless as I thought.

“Pretty rare?” I said, wondering what we were going to do with the stack of components.

“All you need is some dimensional storage and any [Adventurer] group would take you. Hot damn, I’m so glad we met.”

“Wow, all that from one monster?” Tandy chimed in. “This opens up so many more options for us.” Her mind was already evaluating possibilities.

“I know I didn't contribute much to the fight, but do you think I could have the [Heartree]?” Ash asked tentatively. I looked at the slight man, wondering what he wanted it for.

"Contributed little, or at all?" Leo rumbled as he walked by with a smirk.

Ash looked down. “Nevermind,” he muttered. “I'll try to get one later.”

Frowning, I picked up a [Heartree]. I didn't care that Ash didn't take part in the fight. His strength didn’t seem to be in direct damage. He’d done okay as a decoy. What I was curious about was what he was going to use this [Heartree] for.

"Wait, don't listen to Leo. He's just being a grump. Why do you need it?"

"I’ve found a few options. You can make them into mini-bombs, but that takes some other components." What were the ‘bombs’ this guy was talking about?

Meredeath strolled over. "Bombs? Really?" She looked at my confusion. "They explode, normally dealing massive damage when thrown or as part of a trap."

I nodded, encouraging Ash to continue.

"That's a waste of their potential, though. With a [Heartree], I can use it to power wood-based mechanics. So, like your reel, I could attach one and it would help auto-reel. Or add one to a catapult and have the mechanism auto-reset. I mean, that would probably take a couple, but you get the idea." Ash’s enthusiasm was infectious.

With that [Loot] skill, [Heartrees] are going to be raining on you like coppers.

“They’re that common, Richard?” I didn’t bother hiding my disbelief.

Richard looked up at me, and then a tentacle swung over to Ash. He opened his mouth, fangs gleaming, and seemed to dislocate his jaw.

Suddenly, a dozen [Heartrees]—little round wooden disks with a magical gleam to them—ejected into the space in front of Richard.

“What just happened? Did your slug throw up ten times its body weight in [Heartrees]?” Ash eyed Richard suspiciously, even as he licked his lips at the pile of loot.

I have a dimensional storage tooth cap.

Random behaviors of my slug flashed through my mind. Richard posing on top of our kills. Gnawing on random items with his little fangs. Licking various components in shops.

“Have you been looting our kills this whole time?” I asked, outraged.

Richard didn’t bother replying. He just looked up at me with a smug little toothy grin.

“I can have these?” Ash started picking up the [Heartrees], popping them into his own dimensional storage. I really needed dimensional storage. “You can't believe what I'll be able to craft.”

"They're that valuable?" Meredeath fingered her onyx ring.

“You have no idea. I wouldn’t have to be an [Adventurer] with all of this. I could just craft.” He sounded so wistful, as though my nightmare was his dream.

“I have a confession to make,” Meredeath said, twisting the stone on her ring. Another two dozen [Heartrees] popped onto the canyon floor.

She had dimensional storage this whole time?! And [Loot]?! I knew she was a bit of a loot goblin, but she’d been holding out on us.

I opened my mouth to point this out, but Richard stopped me. We’re all allowed a secret or two.

“I can’t possibly repay you all,” Ash said, still picking up [Heartrees] and popping them into his storage. He wasn’t going to let the debt prevent him from grasping the opportunity.

“I want bombs,” Meredeath said plainly. She gave me an amused look at Ash’s avarice.

“You can’t repay us yet,” Tandy chimed in. “But we may need to think about forming a guild sooner rather than later.”

A guild. The best [Adventurer] parties had small cities that worked with them, consuming their loot, and updating their gear. It wasn’t even a dream I’d considered. Not surprisingly, it looked like it’d been on Tandy’s long-term plan.

I looked over at Leo. He'd walked away from the conversation, opting to scout down to the next bend in the canyon. Leo gazed back at our huddle, impatient to get on with the Hunt.

I gave him a shrug and leaned in, wanting to hear more about these 'bombs' of Ash's.