Reck Well - Author

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 15: [Indigestive Event]

For the second time this year, I found myself in the belly of a beast. I must be a nice snack.

Richard was still out cold, which was concerning as fish ribs poked at me.

The rope caught my foot, and my team and the fish pulled against each other. Then, my lifeline tether snapped on a tooth the tug-of-war battle having sawed it in half.

Clutching Richard, I spread out my feet, my toes digging into the membrane of the fish's esophagus. It distended as I kicked and punched. I didn't have a weapon.

My efforts were for naught as its slimy muscles undulated, forcing me deeper into its digestive tract.

The fishy stomach was a lot smaller than our [Trial Dungeon] experience; the watery contents floated with us. The bandages across my chest had slowly unraveled, revealing a small light source—the hole in my chest was glowing faintly as magical webbing had replaced what had been a whole lung. My heart clenched in fear for a moment, as I questioned whether I could actually breathe.

I released a cloud of panicky bubbles.

Obviously, I could breathe.

In the dim light given off by my magical lung. The contents of the fish’s stomach were uninspiring. A chunk of rudist membrane floated by with a lamprey-like parasite attached. A blob of fat from an ammonite sat next to a flake of ochre. In the bottom of the stomach, giving off the stomach-churning rank of infection, sat a fishbone lodged in the tissue. An angry red pustule surrounded the offending bone.

I grabbed a half-digested fish scale, hoping it would be razor sharp. It flaked apart in my hand as the digestive acid burned my skin.

Mentally, I reached out with my [Slime Manipulation]. The goo unimpressively wriggled.

I knew what I had to do. I just didn't want to do it.

Grabbing the fishbone with my free hand, I braced. It was slippery, but slime was my life now. With a yank, I pulled the bone out of the fish's gullet.

Puss and blood started filling its stomach immediately at the newly agitated wound.

[First Aid] triggered, telling me the predator would be fine if it gargled with salt water twice a day and stayed away from spicy food for a month.

I didn't intend to let it recover.

As the muscles clenched, set on expelling me, I held the fishbone like a lance just waiting for my opportunity.

The fish coughed, sending me straight into the mouth. I aimed the lance between the top ridges of the mouth and plunged it into the soft tissue, spearing it in the brain.

The wall of teeth in front of me opened, slack-jawed.

[Triehold defeated. You have earned experience. [Gills] detected. [Gelatinous] detected. [Animal Intention] detected. Class override for evolutionary gear engaged. Reward: [Blessing of the Waters] unlocked. You now have access to one of three pre-existing magical properties: [Dimensional Storage]. [Lael's Workshop Key] empowered one of three.]

I had my own dimensional storage in Lael’s ring this whole time? I couldn’t wait to try it out, but I wasn’t about to use it in the bloody soup I was swimming through.

I’d completely forgotten about the [Lael’s Workshop Key], as it sat at the bottom of my pack with my lucky nails. If all I had to do was kill giant sea monsters, I think I’ll pass at trying to earn access to it.

[Quest Updated: [Legacy of Lael Voss]

You have unlocked one of the three powers of [Blessings of the Waters]. Unlock the other two powers and empower [Lael’s Workshop Key] two more times to prove to Rhi you are ready to take on Lael's coastal workshop and clear out the [Corruption]. Adventure Onward!]

I swam through the mouth of the fish, cursing. My elation over having a dimensional storage space had evaporated as I realized Rhi had tricked me. Rhi Voss had purposefully given me a useless key that needed to be empowered? That [Lich]!

I kicked furiously, swimming with one hand free as I held the ball that Richard had become tightly against my chest.

Meredeath and Ash helped pull me through the shimmering wall of the bubble. I'd never been so glad to see their relieved faces.

Coughing, I handed Richard to Meredeath as I hacked up seawater. Ash gave me a couple of helpful pounds on my back before I realized we were still standing dangerously close to the barrier. Wheezing, I stood back up, my land lung fully kicking into action.

"Let's move someplace..." I trailed off, examining the much smaller enclosure. The reality hit, we were missing two more of our party, and the bubble had shrunk accordingly. Meredeath huddled in front of the fire with Richard, a miserable-looking Argin, and an angry Leyla. What the hell happened?

"This is so cool!" Ash was touching my chest a little too intimate for comfort. Shrinking away, I looked down. A warm golden light glowed from the hole where I’d been punctured. Tandy's magic had saved me. A shiver raked my body as I realized just how close to dying I'd actually come.

Ash pulled me over to the magical fire.

"Meredeath, it's like he's Iron Man!" Ash pointed to my bare chest. Meredeath's green eyes swung up from her examination of Richard as she gave me a once-over. I cringed at my skinny physique.

"More like Iron Lung," Meredeath responded, unimpressed as she almost shoved Richard in the fire.

"Ouch, man." Ash gave me a consolatory pat on the back. The insult may have gone way over my head, but I didn't need Ash's pity.

Going for my pack first, I pulled out my last shirt. It was a stained blue number, but I didn't think anyone was going to hold my laundry skills against me. I sat cross-legged next to Richard and Meredeath, pack in hand.

Richard was curled into a ball as though he'd gone into some sort of hibernation. His skin was wet but not particularly slimy, which I took as a bad sign. His skin was icy, which was why Meredeath, knowing his [Heat Resistance] was all but barbecuing him on the magic flames.

"If we had Tandy here, I'm sure she could fix him up with her power." Ash waved his hand around in a poor imitation of a [Mage].

Argin shrank into herself, as though she'd like nothing more than to hibernate with Richard.

"Yeah, about Tandy." I leeched all the warmth from my voice, eyes seeking Argin's. "Tell us about your grandfather."

Argin's eyes swept around the campfire seeking support, but even Leyla had her arms crossed waiting for an explanation. Argin wilted further, her dark hair falling like a curtain before her down-turned face.

I wasn't buying it. This was part of the helpless act she and her grandfather had put on for the caravan. The all-powerful [Archmage] wouldn't leave his granddaughter helpless.

"Where is Tandy?" I put all the [Chill] I could into my voice as I started rummaging around for my first aid kit. It'd been getting far too much use. "Ash, can you get some freshwater boiling? Meredeath, you keep doing what you're doing. We need to warm him up. Do we still have Tandy's pack? There should be a wool blanket that we can wrap him in."

Leyla found Tandy's pack, and as she pulled out the green wool blanket, I couldn't help but catch a scent I associated with my friend. The cinnamon and nutmeg in her granola mix. Meredeath wrapped the slug up, leaving only his head exposed as she faced it towards the fire. His tentacles were completely inverted tucked into his body. His breathing was slow. A bite mark along one of this black spots oozed the gray-blue blood of a banana slug.

Handing Ash a cloth to sterilize, I grabbed my bottle of alcohol and began cleaning out his wounds. The slug had multiple bite marks, and a whole chunk of his tail taken out. If he were human, he'd already have been dead. Thankfully, the [Immortal] banana slug had more lives than an undead [Lich].

I broke out some plantain, my go-to for wound treatment. Using my last poultice bags, I packed them with the core herbs for wound closure. Using some of the water Ash had provided, I moistened the bags and wrapped Richard up with the sterilized bandage.

The [System] must have been impressed, as it rewarded my efforts.

[Skill Upgrade: [First Aid] has been upgraded to [Combat Medicine]. You retain all capabilities with [First Aid] and have gained the following abilities:

[Triage] - Allows for quick assessment and prioritization of injuries to an individual or group of individuals.

[Sterilize] - Can be used multiple times a day at the cost of 10 mana per use. This skill decreases the chance of infection by 30%.

[Basic Herbalism] - You now have a basic understanding of herbs and their medicinal uses. Through use, you can gain the ability to find helpful herbs in any environment.]

While the upgraded skill was nice, I'd have traded it for Richard to regain consciousness.

"You still haven't answered his question." Leyla's voice cut through everyone numbly watching me care for Richard.

"What do you want me to say?" Argin's voice was bitter. "My grandfather is an [Archmage], you already know this. He took Tandy." And not me. She left the words unspoken. "To safety."

"But why?" I asked.

"And where?" Ash added.

"None of it matters if we don't make it out of here alive." Argin pointed to the giant monstrosity eyeing our small enclosure. I wasn't positive it couldn't just reach in and snatch us out of the bubble.

"That may be so, but for your own health, I need to know what happened to my friend and why." The words came out tight. I was shaking. I was so angry. My heart pounded in my chest. Leo and Tandy, and now Richard. I was so alone, and it enraged me.

Argin looked up. The facade of helplessness fell away as she looked at me. I could end her. I could grab her arm and throw her into the abyss.

Meredeath watched me, her green eyes flaring. She wasn't going to save me from this darkness.

"Cole," an annoyingly gentle voice called my name. "Cole, let's let her speak." Ironic words coming from Ash. I looked at him, his soft brown eyes beckoning me to sit down. I'd snatched the pot of boiling water off the campfire and held it as though I was going to swing at her.

Argin sat on the ground, eyes closed as though she was at peace with the consequences of her grandfather's actions.

I sat back down, sloshing water in the sand as I set the pot back on the fire. Embarrassed, I set to mixing an herbal tea for the water.

Argin opened her eyes, surprised that the end hadn't come. She relaxed, sensing that, for now, her death was commuted.

With a sigh, she started her story.

"My grandfather is an asshole..."

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 14: Dyannomite

I fart in your general direction! I anxiously watched as Richard cut around another tall rudist, as he let loose a less powerful sulfurous bomb at his pursuit.

Richard emerged from the cloud of his own stench and rocketed towards the bubble. He flattened his body, undulating wildly with almost thirty feet of bare sand separating him from the relative safety of the shimmering barrier.

The Mosas had picked its moment, diving like a boulder as it tried to ambush my slug. Jaws agape, its webbed feet provided thrust as it torpedoed down towards Richard.

I watched in horror. My psyche reeling from the loss of Tandy. I couldn't think.

Richard, sensing the danger, weaved back towards the kelp only to come face to face with the snapping mouth of the hungry Plesio.

"Cole, we need to act." Meredeath was in front of me, putting one of our stuffed ammonites in my hand.

Richard pulled his eyes close to his body as long needle-like teeth clamped shut around his body.

I numbly looked down at the oozing mollusk Meredeath had handed me. A mental flash of Richard, broken and oozing, hanging from the serrated mouth of the Plesio, froze me in place.

"Cole!" Meredeath had shoved an ammonite into the ocean. Ash was working on one as well. I stared at her blankly, as though [Chilled] had struck my brain. She walked over to our pile of ammonite carcasses and grabbed a second one. "Cole," she said, stopping in front of me. "We need you to fish him out."

Her words rebounded in my head. Fish him out was meaningless. Fish who out of what?

She slapped me hard across my face. My cheekbone stung, my head rocking back. My hand rubbed my cheek as the fog receded from my brain.

"I'm here, I'm here." I blurted as she drew her hand back for another smack.

"Get the rope." Meredeath was already at the wall, shoving another ammonite through the watery barrier. I went for the rope, trying to tie it to my ankle as I held my ammonite like a baby, tight against my chest. The last thing we needed was for me to trip and spring our trap. My shell was painted black. The trigger for the whole net we'd set up.

Wide-eyed, I couldn't believe we were doing this without Tandy.

[Replenish].

[[Cheat Death] has been [Replenished] and is available for use.] I got a feeling that the [System] was tired of us cheating.

Diving into the deep was like plunging into one of the glacier-fed rivers in the Ursine Wall. It was shocking, and I was instantly awake. The Mosas and Plesio had turned from Richard and had begun feeding on the ammonites Meredeath and Ash had pushed into the barrier. Both beasts seemed pleased that their favorite nut had already been cracked and sucked in the juicy meat.

With a powerful kick, I held my ammonite tight.

Meredeath and Ash had shoved in a couple more of the dark, ink-soaked shells. Our special ones.

It was a good sign that the monsters were sucking in the contents. It meant our little additions should hopefully go unnoticed. The rope tied around my ankle floated out behind me as I swam close to the ground, aimed at Richard.

I'm getting tired. Richard's mental voice was exhausted. Everything's on cooldown. He sounded like he was giving his list of excuses as to why he wasn't saving the day this time.

I sent him a mental hold on a couple more seconds and kicked. A fin scraped me, twisting my body so I was belly up. I had a view of the Mosas as it used its belly to push the Plesio out of the way as its jaw worked on an ammonite.

The beast was trying to territorially claim the other floating mollusks leaking ambrosia into the sea. The fish that had been pursuing Richard with their pointy teeth had started to get in on the action.

The Plesio clocked me with its massive fluke. I ground against the gritty floor of the ocean, an unpleasant reminder of the power of the beasts.

Surreally, I watched these toothy monstrosities jostle for position. The shadows of the deep that wreck ships and chew on the survivors. I kicked for a moment, my back against the sandy bottom. Mentally, it was hard to flip my body back over. To blind myself to the predators, but I had to get to Richard.

I saw a flash of yellow. He was moving slower, with a slimy trail rippling in the water. Two smaller fish pursued him. They looked like the runt of the school, those who didn't even bother trying to compete against their larger cohorts. Their teeth, small but no less sharp, flashed.

Richard folded in the water and shot sideways, surprising both fish as the attacker sunk into its competition. The two flailed at each other angrily before returning to Richard, who undulated slowly, his stamina obviously bottomed out. They approached cautiously. I dug into my pocket, not expecting to fight fish. Digging out a small dagger, I got into range.

My stamina was slowly draining as I swam, with the [Chill] affecting my speed, but I was still three times larger than these fish. I kicked sideways off the sandy bottom and caught the first one unaware. My bladed tooth bit into its underbelly. Not a fatal blow, but as blood flowed into the water, I knew it'd be enough.

The other fish, already pissed at its companion, went into some sort of bloodlust transformation as it smelled the blood. Its glassy black eyes glowed red as its teeth elongated. The injured fish began swimming away. This gave me the opening I needed to grab Richard.

He was cold. Motionless. I couldn't tell if he was alive or dead, but I cradled him close, dropping my knife to hold both him and the ammonite. Using [First Aid] on the slug, it offered several suggestions for treating his numerous wounds. Plantain, yarrow, mullein, nettle tea, the list went on offering compresses for wounds, tinctures for the pain, and tea to rebalance nutrient deficiencies. None of which I could act on in the middle of the water.

At least he was alive.

I twisted my body back towards the enclosure, putting my back to the kelp forest. I'd handle Richard's state once we were safe.

None of our ammonite traps had gone off yet, which was good. I had the control switch in the ammonite I held, and if I didn't get to use it before I was back in the bubble, I'd count myself lucky. My stamina had drained by 40% and the water [Chilled] debuff was taking a toll. I stayed close to the sand, using my feet to push instead of kick. I leaped forward with my two precious packages like an underwater frog.

That's when my [Animal Intention] went off, as the back of my neck lit up as a source of food. I don't know whether they'd finished with the ammonites we'd collected, or if my leapfrogging had sent off a predation instinct, but I was about to be ambushed by the Mosas. I twisted in the water, feeling the pressure of the oncoming Mosas. I spun my last ammonite into its path.

The beast closed its fanged snout over the treat, grinning at me as though promising I was next. I took the moment to kick off the bottom of the ground. With all the audacity I had from [Dead Wrong], I swam up the side of the creature, pushing off of its leathery skin.

I knew I had only moments as I clambered around Mosas’ body, dodging a spiked fin. I brought my feet up and kicked against its belly as hard as I could. Richard and I shot a few yards away from the beast when the first explosion rocked the water. I watched as the Mosas's face blew apart as a tooth hit the hair-triggered shell.

Ash's magical cascade started as two more of his bombs went off in the beast's stomach. Blood and viscera filled the water as the Mosas went belly up.

The doomed Plesio dived to scavenge the large snack when another series of explosions ripped through the creature’s neck.

The concussion hit my body hard, twirling me around as another explosion rocked the water. I held Richard tight, curling my body protectively around him as fish exploded next. Up and down were meaningless as we were tossed around by the bombs.

Eventually, the chained mechanisms finished, and the water stopped churning.

The ocean was cloudy with blood and chunks of fish. I swam forward, only to find the Plesio’s bodiless head floating away like the castoff leftover of a seagull.

A tug at my heel pulled me towards the bubble. Relieved, I stopped swimming and just let my teammates pull me in.

My [Animal Intention] skill twinged. Looking up, I saw a new beast float overhead. It was oblong with a long, wiry, clawed appendage almost a third of its body length in front. The beast looked like a child's drawing, oddly proportioned with a singular pincher. It rolled on fine cilia that repositioned its body upside down. Two eyes sat on bar-like tentacles that pierced the ridge of its face.

The monster watched me, unblinking.

[Animal Intention] screamed that I was under attack, but the creature lazily watched.

Too late, I realized the genuine threat as giant teeth came into my vision as the largest fish I'd seen yet closed over my body. Its rigid palate compressed as it swallowed me whole.

I owed Richard an apology this time.

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 13: Keepsake

"Thank the Everbear those ammonites had fresh air in them." Ash’s muted voice floated through the dream.

"Young lady, we need to talk about what you did." A mildly slurred elderly voice demanded.

Sleep, Cole. Richard's weight rested against my chest. He'd taken to sleeping on me like Rags, the old barn cat. She'd lay on my chest with wheezing purrs, and snaggle toothed bad breath. Richard's slime was a minor downgrade. Sleep. His fangs bit into my neck, sending me back into the void.

The next time I drifted into consciousness, it was to the smell of barbecue. Fat bubbled on the smokeless stove. Richard was gone. A haunch of the ox was gone.

"Miracle of miracles, he awakes!" Shifting my head, the speaker, the old man came into view.

He looked worse for wear, squinting at me as though plagued by a headache. No, a hangover. He’d propped up his leg. The sweat-stained bandage smelled of infection.

I made to sit up, but he leaned over, putting a hand on my chest, shaking his head.

Despite the suckling cloth tipped between my lips, my mouth was dry, my throat scratchy.

"Water?" I croaked. My lips were salt-rimmed.

"Aye, that's been a challenge, but here you go." He dipped a canteen towards my mouth. Blessed fresh water filled my mouth. "Quiet now, I’ve finally managed to put them all asleep."

I swallowed mouthful after mouthful until my [First Aid] skill nudged me. Any more and I might be sick. Suppressing a cough, I asked the obvious.

"You're on watch?" Tilting my head, I could see his rueful smile as he took a prolonged gulp for himself.

“A self-appointed watch, I’d say. My granddaughter and I may not have been the most honest of travelers to join your group. I put everyone to sleep using a skill, [Dreamless Sleep]. Took a while to do it in a way that didn’t raise suspicion, especially from Argin.” Pops looked down at his sleeping granddaughter. Whoever or whatever he was, he assuredly loved her.

I'd never heard of a skill that affected a group of people like this. It sounded like magic. I kept the thought to myself as the man continued. "I thought it worthwhile to let everyone rest, but I also wanted a moment with you, son."

He stopped talking, taking another swill from the canteen. Silence descended as he shifted. The man opened his mouth twice, as though trying to find the right words for whatever he was going to say.

For once I wasn't in a hurry, perfectly content to consider myself. We were still in the bubble, shifting light of the ocean danced above me. Lying close to the fire had warded off the [Chill] effect, and remarkably I had no temperature-based debuffs. Notifications flashed in the corner of my vision, but I wasn't in a hurry to get to them. Instead, I breathed in the sweet air, feeling the grit of sand under my fingers. I was enjoying being alive.

"I'm sorry." He'd finally found the words; however, they weren't what I expected. To my surprise, tears coursed down his ruddy cheeks. “I'm sorry to Kreana, and to you.”

We sat there in silence. He handed me the canteen again. I wasn’t sure why he was apologizing, but I don’t know if it was my injury or a skill, but I wasn’t going anywhere.

The man muttered a word, and a crystal whiskey glass sat in his hand. The amber liquid sloshed as he swirled it. “If you haven't guessed already, I'm a [Mage]. An [Archmage] in fact.”

I hadn’t guessed, which I kept to myself. My mind raced through what little I actually knew about mages and it was embarrassingly little. An [Archmage] was a [Sage] of magic and most specialized in some sort of domain.

That was it. No revelations. Although I did have two burning questions.

"Why didn't you help us?" I croaked, pouring a little more water into my mouth. He nodded at my question, as though expecting it.

"And I thought you’d ask the other questions first. Well." He snapped his fingers, a blue flame appearing. "My specialty isn't particularly useful in a water dungeon." Opening his hand, the flame floated above his palm, and with a wave of his fingers, it dissipated. “Go on, ask the other question. That one’s more interesting.”

“Why are you still here?” Most mages had some sort of [Teleport] spell or skill. An [Archmage] most assuredly did. It was their primary ability that kept them alive in a world that valued steel over magic.

“Thank you, lad, for asking that question. It’s got a far more interesting answer.” He took a sip of his whiskey. “Ah, yes, nice and dry with a bit of vanilla. I knew I’d grabbed a bottle of rye the last time I was in Cersapil.” He looked down at me, and I saw the power in his eyes. I was helpless before this man.

“It is commonly known among [Mages] that we're a dying class. We have lost the ability to create spells. In a world of skills, who needs the spellcrafters? Roughly five hundred spells survived the cataclysm, and I’d say we’re down to the odd three hundred in circulation.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Pops looked down at me and smiled as he took another sip.

“Don’t you remember? You asked.” Before I could interject that I did not, in fact, ask for a magic history lesson, he continued. “I’d heard rumors of the [Immortal] slug, and the price paid by the last age, but like most myths I’d just dismissed them. And here, on my last visit to the Hunt, on a no name caravan back to civilization, I find him hanging out with [Your Mom’s Party] chased by a [Legendary] dungeon?”

“It was too delicious to ignore. At first I thought it was you. Your build is interesting. I’ve never seen a [Dead Wrong] class—brave choice, boy. But there’s nothing that sets you apart from the thousands of [Adventurers] I’ve met in my life other than a small tenacity to stay alive.”

A finger tapped at his glass restlessly.

I moaned a little as I sat up slowly. Bandages held my bare chest together. The skin below was tight.

“And yet you continue to throw off my magic. [Restrain].” As he spoke the word, my muscles clenched again. At least, however, I was upright. “Our time grows thin, so I will get to the point. No one new spell has been recorded since the turning of an age, and yet here —” He pointed to my bandaged chest. “—is a spell from a simple girl from the frontier that I’ve never seen before. A progressive healing spell.” He spoke the words with a sense of wonder.

"I don't see what this has to do with me or our situation." All of this drama over Tandy’s spell? I searched around for Richard, if one of us could ward off an [Archmage] it would be him. My muscles trembled, weak, as though everything had been used to mend what had been broken. "Where's Richard?"

The blue glow of the fire reflected coldly in the man's face.

"He'll rejoin us in a moment." A shiver ran up my back that had nothing to do with the chilled air. Tandy, Ash, Meredeath, Leyla, and even Argin were slumped in the sand. It was as though they'd collapsed mid-sentence. "I love my granddaughter. Do you love anyone, Cole?"

"Of course—" I started to respond, but the man waved me off.

"I don't mean superficial love. I mean deep down, I'd die for that person to continue on in the world, love. That's what I feel about Argin. She'd the last of my line. My daughter passed last year to a wasting sickness, and Argin's all I have left." He absentmindedly petted her dark hair, as though she were a sleeping child. Maybe to him she was.

When he turned back to me, I saw the ghost of a man. Hollow, power-hungry, wrinkled eyes looked as though he’d sacrificed much on the altar of magic.

Did I love anyone like that? I thought I'd loved Leo and Tandy with that self-sacrificing passion, but the split in our party challenged that assumption. My heart thumped in my chest.

"I'd die for my sister," I said finally. I loved my family, but it was Share that'd always held a soft spot in my heart. "Share, she's got this beauty of soul. She’s getting married, and I’d do anything to make sure her future was a happy one."

He nodded, "I hear it in your words." His tone was low, mournful. "I hear it in your words." My heart thumped hard, as though worrying over an unspoken fear. "I feel that way about Argin."

“Why are you telling me this?” I slowly looked around, trying to find anything I could use as a weapon. It was a hopeless pursuit. My sickbed held nothing but the canteen. I slowly brought it to my mouth, delaying the inevitable conclusion to the conversation.

“I kept us here out of curiosity. The fabled slug.” His voice trailed off in awe before he returned to the thread. “It’s odd being a 'powerful' [Archmage], to have power but never enough. I couldn't save the caravan. Lost my toe trying." He pointed to a bloody bandage that sat a few feet away from him, which I assumed contained said toe. “I sit here with a choice between the person I love above all others in the world, and the reimagining of the profession I've dedicated my life to.”

"I don't understand."

Cole, he's going to—Richard's mental voice cut off in a gurgling scream. I looked, realizing where he was. A flash of yellow flickered in the ocean as a school of sharp-finned silver fish flashed after him.

“There’s so much power in her, so much promise, Cole.” He looked at me, his eyes haunted. “[Teleport] only works for two, and I curse myself for not taking Argin to safety sooner.”

The [Mage] shifted, a small dagger in his hand as he took a lock of Argin's hair. I tried to move, to stop him, but I was still [Restrained]. Every muscle locked into place to move at best at a snail’s pace. I tried to ask another question, but my jaw clenched as the canteen fell into the sand.

I couldn't ask him another question. I couldn't scream my anger. I couldn’t delay what was next.

He shuffled to stand above Tandy's prone form, giving me a half smile.

"I don't know if you can do this without her." He waved to Tandy. As he turned to face me, the ominously powerful [Archmage] dropped away. Here stood Pops, the grumpy grandfather. "But try. Bring me Argin whole and safe. Do this, and I will lay the world at your feet."

With one last mournful look at Argin, he muttered [Teleport] and vanished.

Tandy was gone.

My muscles unclenched as I dragged my body to the sand impression Tandy'd left. A lone lock of her auburn hair sat, wrapped with a green ribbon.

[[Restrain] has ended.]

[[Subterfuge] has ended.]

[[Mirage] has ended.]

[[Weaken] has ended.]

[You are no longer under the effect of an [Archmage] aura, all stats return to normal.]

Vitality began filling my body as his spells and influence fell away. The rest of [Your Mom's Party] started shifting, as his [Dreamless Sleep] spell falling off of them.

Argin was the first to regain true consciousness. She looked around in horror.

"What has he done?"

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 12: One Last Heartbreak

We were counting on the ammonites being a favorite dish of the sea.

Our entire plan hinged on it.

So, it shouldn’t have been terribly surprising when someone noticed that I was rapidly depleting the local population of sea snails. It may have been the twelfth or thirteenth mollusk I'd taken down. Honestly, I wasn't thinking too well after that point. It all gets a little fuzzy after the Mosas crushed my head. I had a vague impression that it drug off my inked body, ammonite still firmly stuck to my hand.

[You, Cole Thornfield, are [Dead].]

[Skill Acquired: You have gained a new [Dead Wrong] skill, [Animal Intention]. This skill was acquired through [Cheat Death]. You have a psychic sense of the animals and monsters around you, gaining an understanding of the intention and attention of predator and prey alike. Senses scale with level differential.]

As I dropped through the interdimensional portal, I got a bird’s-eye view of Leyla's disgust as she watched my head reattach to my body as I fell. I grinned at her in that thready moment when the sinew and skin stretched to mend the tears.

I floated for a moment until the weightlessness turned off and landed squarely on the dead ox’s head. Completely impaled, I knew I was in trouble. I shifted trying to dislodge myself. This resulted in a deep grinding in my chest, and my next breath was flecked with blood.

The horn pierced through my chest. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t move. Hot tears ran down my face.

What the hell? I haven't [Replenished] you. Richard's mental voice held all the panic I couldn't muster in my own. TANDY, HELP!!

I wanted to get off the horn. I needed to. The desire was overwhelming. It was in my chest. I pushed with the little strength I had in my arms. I had to get off the ox.

"Cole, don't!" Meredeath shouted a few seconds too late as the horn pulled out of my chest. I flopped off the ox's head, my elbow catching awkwardly as I tried to catch myself in the sand. I looked down at the gaping wound. Were those ribs? I tried to use [First Aid].

[Your skill [First Aid] has failed. This wound is beyond your skill level. Maybe you should have used it before you removed the horn.]

The Everbear-damned [System] was trolling me now of all times?

"H-el-p," I wheezed out like a desperate cat choking on a fur ball. Each breath twisted the knife in my chest. Every attempt to breathe made my body convulse. Every breath made my body shutter with a wet gurgling burble. I needed air.

"Richard," Tandy's voice sounded frantic, but distant. "Use your spell."

I can't. He's below 50% health. My other skills are on cooldown. Even Richard's voice sounded removed as the world faded. The gaping tear had started to numb. The idiot had to fall on his land lung.

I smiled, knowing the last words I was going to hear in this life were Richard insulting me. It was fitting, really, for the pet of a slug.

Ash said something, and I felt my body drag against the floor of our enclosure. Sand caught in the waist of my trousers, dragging my pants off my hips. I didn’t want to die naked. I flailed, trying to fight them.

Richard bit me, his teeth sinking into my neck. [Animal Intention] triggered, telling me Richard was trying to help. A wave of a fang-induced drug entered my body, and the urge to thrash subsided. What did I care anyway? His fangs let go.

Suddenly, someone shoved my newly knitted head into the water. My gills burned in the salty brine which made me take an instinctive breath. My water lung inflated as I watched blood seep from the other side of my chest.

[Your skill [First Aid] has failed. This wound is beyond your skill level.]

It'd been worth a shot, but the skill failure confirmed what I already knew. They'd bought me a couple more minutes, assuming the Mosas didn't swim down for a snack, but the puncture in my chest was more than could be healed normally.

Tha-thump. My heart pounded against my soul. The water completely muted my friends. I watched them, and they looked like they were moving through water as they frantically ran around. Tha-thump. Ash grabbed the makeshift spear, poking it threateningly around my head protectively. Tha-thump. Meredeath stood on the other side of me, her eyes and daggers flaring like a vengeful goddess of death. Tha-thump. Tandy's eyes were wide as she stuffed her practice cloth into the hole in my chest, her eyes glowing golden.

Tha-thump. Leyla and Argin held each other as they watched on; their lives had not prepared them for the realities of an [Adventurer's] fate.

Tha-thump. I thought of my mom. I hated that she'd been right.

I could feel myself slipping away. My heart weakened with each beat as my health points dropped. Time slowed as though to focus on the last syllables of my life.

Tha-thump. Four. White, crinkly bows hung from the rafters of the barn. Lanterns decked in lace and delicate daisies centered five elegant tables. Fennel twirled Share on the makeshift dance floor. It was the happiest day of her life, but her eyes kept darting to my empty chair. Galen bounced on my mom’s lap. Had she aged? He pushed on her wrinkled face trying to stop her tears.

A cold draft of seawater slipped into my gills, the breath I needed cooling my chest.

Tha-thump. Three. I opened my eyes to the smell of jasmine as light framed Minvi’s face mere inches from mine. A few strands of her hair awkwardly draped across her nose as she snored. Impulsively, I brushed them away, only to have her wake. She smiled with a warmth I didn’t remember as my hand slipped lower, pushing her against the lumpy mattress. Her giggle sounded like wedding bells as I kissed her lips, my one and only.

Salty brine burned in my chest as the blue-green shadows of the ocean peacefully danced in my eyes.

Tha-thump. Two. I hadn’t expected to see Leo at Eddie’s Mill. He stood looking at the quest board in the center of the Adventurers Guild, brow furrowed, flipping through options. I yelled. He looked up irritated, but as his eyes caught ours, his anger dissolved. Leo dropped his pack and helm on the sticky tavern floor and in two steps wrapped me in a hug. I slapped the steel of his armored back. When he looked up at Tandy, the tears flowed as she held out the pink sweater we’d dragged through hell and back.

My gills ached to draw in icy water. Darkness encroached, and I almost let go.

Tha-thump. One. A last moment in the kitchen. Rust put another sliver of kindling into the stove. Eryn belly-laughed at my joke as I stirred the beef stew. The smile lines around her eyes crinkled. The kids danced around the kitchen, ready for dinner. My hand was stuck as I tried to stir, as if the potatoes were turning into stones. Eryn came up behind me, her warm hand on mine as she took the spoon. She’d take care of our kids.

Thump. Zero. Richard curled along my neck one last time. I'm sorry, Cole. I thought you were the one. He tucked his head in as though he were taking one last nap. My gills closed. He didn’t need to apologize. I’m the one who was giving up.

The end was brighter than I had expected.

Tandy glowed with a golden halo framing a frown of concentration. She'd be okay, she'd figure it out, find Leo without me.

Richard uncurled, the back of two eyestalks popping into my limited vision.

Oh, my sweet Everbear. Is she going to do it?

Something pulled at my [Chilled] body. Heated threads of magic, the warm touch of Tandy's hand. A memory floated in my head, and it took me a moment to realize it wasn't mine.

Two boys chasing each other through the forest, laughing. The tall blonde Leo tackled a young Cole as we tumbled to the ground. I yearned to join them as I plucked another gooseberry for my grandmother.

This was Tandy's memory. Thump. A heartbeat thrummed in our chests.

"You can join them." Came the soft voice of my dad. A pang of longing pulled at my present heart, at Tandy's heart. It'd been a long time since she'd heard his voice.

"They won't want me." Young Tandy, self-assured in her rejection, had already built the wall.

"Then you risk nothing in trying," her dad, my dad, said gently grabbing her basket.

I remembered this day. Thump. Another heartbeat.

"Can I--" before I could get the words out, the brown-haired boy, Cole, interrupted me.

"Grab a stick." Cole's face turned towards me with a wide smile. My chest burst with joy, a small death, as he continued. "See if you can trip him!"

With a wicked grin, I grabbed a thread.

"I've got a better idea," I said, flicking the thread across Leo's path with a grin.

"Oof." Leo hit the forest floor to our delighted giggles.

Thump. Our hearts beat together one last time.

The Reck and PopPop Podcast Returns Tues - Nov 18

Alright, I've caved. I'm reading Discount Dan!

I'm not sure why I've resisted, except that I've been recommended it so many times that it triggered a core memory of me refusing to clean my childhood room. I swear I'm not this stubborn in real life.

Anyway - I'll be covering Magelight (I've got Kacey Ezell on the Author's Corner with Reck on @ChattinStats on Thursday Nov 20th), System Apocalypse: Relentless - A Fist Full of Credits, and Discount Dan.

Join PopPop and I as we chase the conversation and offer up details on what may be your next read!

Reck

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 11: Mollusk, anyone?

I leaned against the rump of the dead ox, watching the solitary Mosas chew on an ammonite like it was a dog toy. I took a moment to make sure that I was still relatively human. No horns, tails or extra patches of fur. After Ash explained what genetic propagation was referring to, I even checked downstairs. Everything was in proper order.

I wasn't really concerned. The notification didn't say I was sterile, and fertility ran in my family. It would not be the first thing I’d bring up on a date, but the [Poison Resistance] was a little more relevant to my day-to-day right now.

The giant Mosas's teeth clawed at the shell as the ammonite tucked into its circular home like a turtle. I could almost hear the crack as the sea monster moved the ammonite to its rear teeth and bore down with force.

With a burst, the shell broke apart like a nut cracked on solstice eve. The Mosas's eyes widened as it clamped down with leathery lips to suck out its tender morsels.

The ammonites must have been a delicacy to the underwater wildlife. As the Mosas enjoyed its feast, and chunks of grease and mollusk floated off, fish swarmed the scene, nabbing tiny scraps that were sinking to the sandy bottom.

A new predator emerged from the waving kelp forest.

When I hit [Analyze], I received more information.

[Plesio - This long-necked agile swimmer is a carnivore that specializes in—]

I blinked as the creature's head burst through the shimmering barrier, its wet, green-blue neck extending ten feet into our enclosure to snap at Richard drying out on a rock.

Richard, moving quicker than a slug should, flipped over, leaving a pile of creamy, foul-smelling slime right in the path of the monster’s snapping teeth.

The beast cried, foaming at the mouth as it quickly retreated into the water. It swam towards the kelp as it angled its neck at a flipper trying to paw the thick slime out of its mouth.

Unfortunately for us, our enclosure wasn't so lucky. The acrid, sulfurous stench hung around, having nowhere to dissipate. It was as though Richard had saved up every bit of digestive gas and expelled it like a panicked skunk all at once.

I walked over to the rock, gagging as I held my shredded sleeve up to my hand.

"You okay?" I kneeled, trying to get a look at the quivering slug under the rock. It always surprised me he feared anything since he claimed to be [Immortal].

I'm fine, just embarrassed. An eyestalk poked out from under the rock. Inking isn’t something I’m proud of. You might want to toss this rock into the ocean. The smell will only get worse.

Under his mental breath, he muttered. Might as well toss me in the ocean too. Makes a slug want a shell to hide in.

He moved out from under the three-foot diameter rock. I looked at the pile of bubbling slime soaking into the pores of the crusty rock and agreed. If this smell kept increasing, the enclosure would be uninhabitable in no time.

"Ash, can you give me a hand?" Richard was sliming towards the center of the enclosure, leaving a normal slime trail in his wake.

Squatting down, we both prepared for the worst only to have the offending rock fly in the air as though it was made of feathers. Ash overcompensated and almost ended up with a face full of slime. Retching, he got a giant whiff of the rotten egg smell right in his face.

"I got this," I told him as he stumbled off to the side to evacuate his stomach. The wagon wheel-sized rock weighed a little more than my old hammer. I could have carried it with one hand. With one eye on the Mosas, who seemed very pleased with its ammonite meal, I shoved the stone through the barrier.

The effect was instantaneous. All the shimmering fish fled, running back towards the kelp. Even the Mosas eyed me, teeth clenching its kill as it swam away towards the surface.

That fucking [System] put the Plesio in here on purpose. They're worse than bogquackers, Cole. They love slugs.

Smell-wise, our enclosure wasn't great, but it was getting better. I walked a few yards away from the newly submerged rock and stuck my hands in to wash them. The salty brine of the water helped ease the roil in my stomach.

Ignoring Richard, I finished reading the [Analyze] notification from the [System].

[—snatching prey in the open pools from the seaweed forests it inhabits. While an omnivore, this sea creature loves mollusks of all varieties, squid, ammonites, snails, sea slugs and will focus on them almost exclusively.]

I already knew the [System] hated Richard, but this seemed extreme.

Walking back to the group, I found everyone was in a shitty mood.

"Well, we've wasted Cole's [Cheat Death] ability, and for what? A front-row seat at an escargot buffet?" Tandy's voice uncharacteristically cut through the others’ muttering. Pops sat, the bandages bloody on his broken foot as he'd refilled his margarita glass, looking for all the world like he was enjoying a beach vacation. Argin leaned against his back, head down as though she was waiting for death to find them. Leyla was bickering with Meredeath about whether they should eat the ox.

Ash was standing with Tandy, holding a shivering ball of Richard, who'd curled up in the fetal position, his foot wrapped around his body with tentacles tucked.

"I'm just saying, we need to do something soon," Ash insisted.

"Why?" I asked, joining the conversation. They both looked at me, faces giving me identical grimaces.

"Cole, how do you smell worse than Richard?" Tandy asked, covering her nose.

I—I didn't know. Looking down, I didn't see any of the sulfurous cream on my shirt. Sniffing, I brought my hands to my face, realizing my mistake. My hands smelled bad. I must not have moved far enough away from the rock when I'd 'washed' them. Crap.

I took a couple of steps back, frowning.

"Look, sorry. I'll try to wash them again, but what's the problem, Ash? Why do we need to hurry?"

Ash gave me a grateful smile. Whether it was for the distance between us or my question, I wasn't sure.

"We're losing air. Look, I know you maybe don't have the best understanding of the science of breathing, but we have a limited air supply and that failed attempt has made things worse. We need to figure out the puzzle of this dungeon fast, or we're all going to suffocate." I exchanged a look with Tandy. This sounded like off-worlder nonsense. I was about to tell him so when the princess entered the conversation.

"He's right, incredibly." The three of us turned to her. I took another step away as she looked at me as though I were a dog that'd just taken a shit on her carpet.

"How would you know?" I couldn't help but challenge her. She didn't seem like she'd know anything that would be helpful in a dungeon, or in life.

"My family," her haughty expression softened a moment, ears turning red. "My family owns a lot of mines around Cersapil." Quickly before we could ask questions she rushed to finish her statement. "We've had incidents, whether by cave-in or poor planning, where a miner or a team gets stuck deep with no channel to fresh air. Sometimes by the time we get a [Geomancer] to help dig them out, we'll find them dead. Their faces..." She swallowed, as though the memory haunted her. "... bloated and purple. Their eyes bloodshot."

She closed her eyes at the end of her description, shaking her head to banish the image.

"We don't want to end up like that. That death is hard."

I was shocked. The vision of this grotesque underground death was not something I expected the princess to be intimately familiar with. Silence hung between us as we all contemplated a different sort of death than being eaten by toothy fish.

“So you’re not really nobility, are you, girl?” The old pops said what we were all thinking as he shifted in his makeshift sand chair.

“I would have been if I’d found the right suitor,” she said, lips pinched as she gave the old man a sour expression.

“You’re lucky then.” He tipped a gold, ruby-encrusted ring over his cup and a stream of wine poured into his empty cup. “Your life is what you make of it.” He sighed as he took a deep sip of the wine as though it alone was holding back the horror of our predicament.

Leyla didn’t seem to know what to say more than the rest of us.

"Well, I gained a [Poison Resistance] on that last death," I shared, trying to break the tension. We needed solutions.

"Is that how it killed you?" Meredeath walked up. The dark circles under her eyes made them look sunken, adding to her sharp cheekbones and white makeup. She looked skeletal. She tossed her teal hair over her shoulder, and the illusion broke. My pale, very human friend stood next to me, giving her normal bored expression. "I was wondering how a snail got you. No offense, Richard, but mollusks are not known for their deadly qualities."

I'll have you know, many of us are poisonous. He teamspoke, and to his chagrin, we collectively ignored him.

"I'm surprised the Mosas didn't attack Cole once he was incapacitated. They must really love those snails." Ash rubbed at the wispy beard he was trying to grow in.

"The ammonite? Yeah, I used [Analyze] on the monster that went after Richard, even it prefers mollusks," I added helpfully, looking back out into the ocean surrounding us, there were several more ammonites floating by. "It's crazy to me that they float."

"You were probably dead, but when the Mosas crushed the one that killed you, the shell must have had an air pocket because it bubbled everywhere. Ash and I stared at Tandy, ideas catching.

"What'd I say?" she asked, confused as the two of us started grinning. We had a plan.

The second time I entered the deep, I was more prepared. I regained the [Chilled] debuff immediately, but I was ready for it. This time I left the spear in the enclosure. Ash was, at this exact moment, working on an upgrade for it. The man was a lifesaver of a crafter.

Immediately as the salt water stung at my gills, all I could feel was relief from the lingering stench in the bubble. The current had diluted Richard's defense mechanism, the fish and ammonites returning to the space around our bubble. Whether curious or hungry, they seemed to circle our small cadre of humans like we were on display at a menagerie. The 'human' exhibit with 'dead ox.'

I swam toward the nearest ammonite. Its tentacles waved lazily in the current as two tiny eyes watched my approach. I felt helpless. If the Mosas targeted me, I'd be dead in a heartbeat. Not that the spear would have done much, but its rough bark was comforting. I'd taken down the elderly tidemaw with a stick.

The flickering light played off the shell of the ammonite, reflecting on the mossy ochre. Feet kicking gently, I reached out a hand towards the cluster of tentacles, and as predicted, the creature attacked, wrapping itself around my hand, tentacles injecting their poison into me.

I shrieked into the void, a cluster of bubbles released as I swam desperately back to our enclosure. Dimly aware that my health had not dropped due to the poison, I was miserable as the resistance did nothing to blunt the tiny barbs on the tentacles digging into my hand. With a pop, I rejoined my friends, taking great gasps of air as the creature clenched my hand harder in the atmosphere.

Meredeath was ready, her wicked green daggers flying into action as I staggered towards the middle of the room, my hand outstretched. The ammonite, for all its advantages in the water, was nearly helpless in the atmosphere. It inked my hand as Meredeath stabbed at the soft underbelly. Retracting its tentacles as a sickly yellow-green ooze bled.

Quick, kill it before it turtles under its operculum.

I did not know what Richard was talking about, but I grabbed Meredeath's dagger as she looked down at the large sea snail and stabbed through the mass of tentacles, taking out my rage at the pain in my blackened hand. The snail stopped struggling after that.

“Alright Cole, go get us another one.” I stared at Tandy, the nerves in my hand flaring in time with my ragged breathing. For a brief moment, I wanted to stab Tandy with the knife, as she'd just coolly ordered me to go back into the abyss and stick my hand in the fire.

I dropped Meredeath's dagger. With a snap of her hand, she caught it.

Resolutely, I stomped back to the barrier, taking a deep breath before I plunged back into my own personal hell.

Reck with Shawn Wilson Live!

Tonight I'll be live at 8pm EST on @ChattinStats to talk about Ultimate Level 1. Shawn has written 10 books in the last 2 years, and we'll be talking about the series and his process as a writer!

Let me know if you have any questions you want me to ask. Look forward to hanging out with everyone tonight!

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 10: Attempt #1

"Are you ready?" Tandy asked with a concerned waver in her voice. I couldn’t help but think of Leo. He would have clapped his hands on my shoulders and growled Are you ready to die?!?!?!!? and then pushed me in.

Tandy looked at me as though I were jumping headfirst into the mouth of a dragon.

I watched the Mosas swim behind Tandy, moving us a couple more feet towards the center of our enclosure.

"This is better than being a dishwasher, right?" I gave Tandy my best grin. She didn't look impressed.

"You’ve got this!" Ash gave two thumbs up.

I had a bandolier of bombs strapped to my body, a makeshift crooked spear tipped with a kitchen knife, and a length of rope tied to my ankle. Richard was perched on my shoulder, like a slug with a death wish. All in all, a stick, some untested explosives and a slug were not a convincing array to take on what looked to be a small water dragon crocodile.

"Have fun dying!" Pops toasted me with what looked like a sugar-rimmed margarita glass in one hand. I definitely needed a dimensional storage device.

The [Rudimentary Spear] twisted nervously in my hand. The rough, knobby branch didn't give me much comfort. I was grateful, at least, that the [System] formally recognized it as a weapon, probably thanks to Ash's crafting skills.

I walked to the shimmering edge of the bubble, which caught the attention of the beast. Fist-sized yellow eyes locked onto Richard and me as its serpentine body brought its teeth in alignment with me.

I stepped backwards one foot. The beast, thirty feet long, was still locked on target. I took two and then three more steps back, watching. At five feet from the barrier, it disengaged as though I'd stepped back into a kelp forest and disappeared.

I'd stripped off my worn boots and the red cloak Tandy'd made me on the road. Every time I thought of leaving my armor, I'd look at the teeth on the Mosas and refrain.

Tandy's rope chafed along my bare ankle.

I may be [Immortal] but I don't have all day. Are we going to do this or not? Richard prodded me, for once not biting my ear.

Taking a deep, settling breath. I ran at the wall of water. As soon as my face submerged, I noted three things. First, the water was icy. Theoretically, I knew this, the enclosure we'd been sitting in had gotten chilly. What I hadn't counted on was my temperature debuff hitting immediately.

[[Warning] - The cold of your current environment has caused you to earn the state: [Chilled]. This state will cause you to move and react more slowly than normal. If you continue to expose yourself to the cold, this will progress to [Frosty].]

The second uncomfortable fact that hit my chilled body was the burning in my gills, the water was salty. I'd been to the ocean twice and should have suspected this. The first underwater breath caught sharply, my lungs expelling all of my land air in a bubbly burst that seemed to bedazzle the Mosas, as it circled lazily above me.

My last revelation had to do with Richard, as he drifted off my shoulders, his sticky slime almost instantly dissolving in the salty water.

As I coughed, surrounded by bubbles, I whirled around, expecting Richard to have helplessly drifted off. Instead, the yellow slug swam effortlessly around my head. Flattening his body, he rippled his foot in little waves to propel him forward.

"You can swim?" I tried to say, instantly regretting it as my mouth filled with salty water.

What do you think I am, some sort of helpless human baby?

I couldn't have responded if I had wanted to, but we were going to have this conversation once we got back on dry land.

If it hadn't been for my bubbles, I'm sure the Mosas would have killed me while I was acclimating. I lifted my head to find the ominous underbelly of the beast floating thirty feet above us near the surface. It tilted its long, toothy snout so one yellow eye examined us. I watched it, my hand clenching the spear as though my kitchen knife would work against the monstrosity.

Watch out!

A snail shell floated towards us at a sedate pace. Man, he really had a thing against snails. I reached out to touch the snail's shell, booping it away, only to have the shell twist around. Two black eyes sitting on wispy tentacles looked at me curiously.

Cole slowly back away.

It was so cute.

Tentacles beckoned and began pulsing different colors. Mesmerized, I tread water. This creature was incredible.

Richard tackled the shell of the creature, latching on with his two fangs in a crevasse of the curled shell. Black ink squirted into the water as tentacles latched onto my face. The colors oscillated in the sudden darkness as my face burned, tiny little claws pumping acid and poison into my cheeks.

[You have been [Poisoned]. You are losing 20 health every 30 seconds.]

[You are [Acidified].]

My heart spasmed, contracting without letting go. I tried to stab the creature, my arm moving glacially slow. The [Chilled] effect slowing me down. I felt a tug at my ankle as the crew inside the bubble realized I was in trouble fighting a gods-be-damned snail.

[You, Cole Thornfield, are [Dead].]

I floated above my body as [Cheat Death] worked through the scenario.

[Skill Acquired: You have gained a new [Dead Wrong] skill, [Poison Resistance]. This skill was acquired through [Cheat Death]. You have a permanent body augment that allows you to resist aquatic-based poisons at the cost of genetic propagation potential.]

What the hell does that mean?

I was weightless. A dull, shimmering blue light faded as my vision returned. The world snapped into focus just as my body found gravity. I twisted in the air, trying to avoid the horror below me. Only partially successful, I fell into the side of the dead ox. Half-cooked gore covered my face as my arms plunged into the squishy haunch of its carcass.

Using [Manipulate Slime] and my deep understanding of [Gelatinous] creatures, I dislodged myself with effort.

"Well hello there, son." Pops raised his long-stemmed margarita glass with a smile. "Surprising, that not-dying thing. Neat trick."

I blinked, standing up, rubbing my hip that had slammed into the ox buttocks, as I watched Richard ride the sea snail like a bull at a rodeo. The thing bucked, scooting left and right, as it tried to wrap its tentacles around the offending slug hitchhiker. Richard's tentacles whipped back and forth, slamming against the shell as the creature inked and freaked out.

I hit the snail with [Analyze].

[Ammonite - An ancient marine mollusk that is famous for its tough chambered shell. Its poisoned tentacles can cause cardiac failure in prey. Although not incredibly maneuverable, it floats using an air bladder within its shell and has the defensive ink properties of a squid.]

Richard’s wild ride was cut short as the shadow moved. With a thrust from its muscular tail, the Mosas burst onto the scene. Four foot long jaws clamped down on the shell just as Richard slipped off. The slug, looking inordinately pleased with himself, waved his fringe in the water as he swam towards the enclosure, one eyestalk watching the Mosas, the other looking at us for praise.

Richard shot through the barrier, landing with a wet, salty plop in our sandy enclosure. He slowly undulated forward, panting with the effort as though he'd just run for an hour. Ash moved to pick him up and bring him out of the five-foot danger zone.

"Well, that could have been worse. Does anyone know what genetic propagation potential means?" I smiled, feeling another chunk of the ox guts slip off my face and splatter on the sand at my feet.

"I don't know how that could have gone better," Tandy said coldly, her eyes taking me in.

"What do you mean? Richard and I are alive, and I just lost a little genetic propagation potential, which doesn't sound that bad." My words were defensive. I knew we hadn't beaten the dungeon, but I'd learned a lot.

"I wouldn't be so quick to claim success," Meredeath almost purred as she came up. "Lose too much genetic propagation and you'll be shooting blanks."

Tandy and I turned to her, not understanding her off-world idioms. Meredeath shrugged, not willing to elaborate.

"Well, what I'm concerned about." Tandy turned her back to Meredeath, her voice lowering. “Is that the barrier shrunk by two feet when you died.”

I looked at our enclosure, noting it was a little snugger.

"I just won't die again."

[Richard has used [Refresh], your [Cheat Death] skill is off cooldown.]

Ready to try again?

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 9: One Death at a Time

“We’ve got to try something.” The words hit like a wet blanket, uncomfortable and sticky.

You know what you’ve got to do. [Cheat Death has reset].

“It hasn’t been a day yet,” I muttered, checking my cooldowns only to find that [Cheat Death] was ready to use. “What have you done?” I stared at the slug numbly.

I have skills too. Just giving you a little nudge.

“It’s more like you’re helping throw me off a cliff into a pool of piranhas.” Richard sat on his little stone perch, carefully avoiding my eyes as he started grooming. He and I were a bit apart from the rest of the group, sitting a little closer to the watery barrier than anyone else was comfortable with.

You need to practice. You’re running out of time.

I didn’t bother asking the question, I knew he wouldn’t answer. Practice for what? I’d asked it a dozen times in the last week as he’d increasingly tried to cajole and threaten me into practicing.

Wait a minute.

“Richard, did you know about the dungeon?” The slug studiously ignored me. I scooted closer, not wanting anyone to hear what I was going to ask next. “Did you help it lure us in?”

I knew it was here. Elasira, the captain of Lira’s Talon, used to brag all the time about the underwater desert they’d cleared.

I sat watching a fish with a needled under bite eye me with the fish equivalent of a hungry grin.

“You didn’t answer the question.” The blood from the dungeon’s first kill had dissipated, a minor flotilla of jellyfish descending to filter the water.

Richard slowly turned towards me, his eyes looking odd, as though the weight of an age sat on his slippery shoulders.

I didn’t, did I? With exaggerated slowness, he stuck out his tongue and slowly licked a black spot just under his eyestalk.

“But Kreana?” I whispered, my voice barely floating across the expanding guilt that separated Richard and me. Kreana was the name of the snooty noble who’d become fish food, a fact which I had only learned when Leyla had sobbed it.

Then the true horror set in as I watched Leyla try to get the bloodstains of her friend out of her dress: “The caravan.”

Not that snootiness deserved death, but the caravan had upwards of fifty souls.

Richard’s tentacles drooped. I’m [Immortal] not [All Knowing]. I did not know the tornado had sucked up a Heltenic aspen. His body undulated, oozing, as the fringe of his foot shifted uncomfortably. This is why I hate getting involved.

Never, even in the clutches of Rhi and finding out that I was, in fact, Richard’s pet, had I felt the chasm between us so wide. He was a theoretical [Immortal], but helpless and incredibly dangerous. Silently hoarding his knowledge, knowing that an ill-thought moment could cause the destruction of countless lives, mine included.

Instead of responding, I just stared out into the water, watching kelp wave in the current as friendlier-looking fish darted in and out. There was something mesmerizing about the gentle wave of the seaweed.

“Cole?” My head jerked back to reality. What had I been thinking? I’d been talking to Richard about something. Tandy snapped her fingers, erasing all trace of the ghost of a thought I’d had.

“What is it?” I asked irritably. I hated it when she snapped at me.

“We’re going to say a few words about Kreana. You need to join us.” Tandy’s words cut through the remnants of fog. I bent down to pick up Richard, only to find him missing. Wasn’t he sitting right next to me? Fuzzily, I stood up and followed Tandy back to the rest of our party.

They were sitting on the other side of the ox carcass, with a small magical campfire that Pops had stashed in his dimensional storage space. I really needed to get one of those. Richard sat on a log next to Ash, his coat glistening in the flickering blue firelight. The campfire put out a welcome, smokeless heat in the increasingly chilly environment.

“Leyla, I think you should say a couple of words now that everyone’s here.” Argin’s soft words drifted over the silent campfire, as she gave me a tight smile acknowledging me joining the group. I sat down next to Meredeath, not wanting to interrupt the grieving youth leaning against Argin.

“She was a jerk,” the green-clad noble, Leyla, said resolutely. “But she was a jerk because she cared. We had a formal chaperone, but the truth of it was that Kreana wasn’t going to get chosen. She was too old and crusty.” I tried to refrain from rolling my eyes. Kreana had to have been twenty, maybe twenty-five, hardly an old maid by frontier standards. “I was worried she was going to tank my own prospects.” The girl admitted in a small voice.

Argin made a cooing noise, petting the girl’s head as she let out a snuffling sob.

I felt a pang of sorrow for Kreana. By all rights, she seemed like a miserable person, but she and the caravan didn’t deserve this. They weren’t [Adventurers] tempting fate.

“She s-sa-ved me. One of the Hunters took an interest. He was tall and handsome, you know? One of the Paladins of the Hunt. Good looking. They all were. The armor. Probably rich. And I was,” she trailed off for a moment, tear-covered cheeks glistening in the firelight. She wiped her face with the least dirty sleeve, streaking blood across her nose. “I was too stupid to know better.” Tandy and I shared a look, both our eyebrows raised.

Tandy gently asked, “What was so bad about this guy from the Paladins of the Hunt? What did Kreana do?”

“She did what she does best—insulted him.” The girl giggled at the remembrance. “She called him a swine for hire, told him his lineage wasn’t worth a piss in a pig trough.”

“I’m beginning to like her,” Meredeath muttered next to me.

“Yeah, the [Insert Paladin Group] are all berserkers for hire, willing to accomplish any hunt for pay.” She looked around the campfire, as though realizing that one of us might belong to the group. When none of us had the trappings of a paladin, the girl relaxed. “Kreana told me they operate for some dark god, hunting people down for the right price.” The girl shuddered. “I wouldn’t want to be tied to someone like that, even if I go home without prospects.”

Argin patted her on the back as I thought about Leo. I’d been so angry that he’d chosen his path, I hadn’t considered that he might have wandered into a cult. If we survived this dungeon, I might have more to talk to Leo about than I initially thought.

“Her tongue was sharp enough to cut through the bullshit,” Pops said, raising a tiny cup that suspiciously smelled like bourbon. Ash and Meredeath held their own camp cups up for the toast.

The magical campfire didn’t snap or pop with combusted wood, it just silently burned as we all disassociated, watching the blue flame flicker. Kreana’s life had been distilled to a few sentences spoken by strangers and a bereft charge. My gaze swept over the huddled Meredeath and cloak-wrapped Tandy. This was not going to happen to us.

Have you thought much about skill progression? Richard’s voice cut through my thoughts like a predator focusing on a single fish in a school. [Cheat Death] has wide-ranging possibilities, depending on which forks you explore.

I hadn’t given it much thought. Forks in progression weren’t offered until a specialization was earned, and I hadn’t earned mine yet for [Dead Wrong]. A realization dawned on me, I now knew how specializations were achieved. Through practice.

How many nails had I made in pursuit of the perfect form? The perfect hammering technique, not realizing I was literally hammering the nails into my own specialization coffin?

Don’t forget, [Cheat Death] is off cooldown.

It was as though Richard was reading my thoughts as I double-checked my stat sheet. Suddenly, I found myself standing, with the entire campfire looking at me.

“We’re going to beat this dungeon and live.” Everyone stared at me as though I’d gone crazy. Maybe I had. “Ash, do you have anything I can use as a weapon in that inventory of yours? A spear?”

Ash looked up, no longer haunted, as he began thinking through his storage.

“I’ve got a stick,” Meredeath said as a long stick popped into the sand. It was six feet long and only a little crooked. That might do.

“I can attach a dagger to that,” Ash interjected, a ball of twine appearing.

“No, not a dagger, a sharp kitchen knife.” Tandy began rooting through her bag as a plan for a weapon took shape.

Leyla, Argin, and Pops looked on as [Your Mom’s Party] got to work. Maybe it was the nature of [Adventurers] not to dwell on death. The prospect was as close to us as our morning cup of tea, and we just learned to live with it. Kreana, the caravan, was just the next in a long list of victims of the road.

My eyes glanced at Richard as though I were forgetting something.

I snapped my fingers, remembering suddenly. “Ash, didn’t you say you could make something explosive with those [Heartrees]?”

My resolve built as I began pulling the party in to plan for our survival, even as I planned my death.

Richard looked on, his yellow face glistening in the campfire.

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 8: Underwater

What kind of cosmic mistake is this? A water dungeon in the desert? Of all the sea slug-infested ideas, this is outrageous!

[You have discovered the [Advanced Underwater] dungeon named [Good Luck, Chump] in the Focloric Plains. This dungeon is claimed by [Hesa’s Talon] and designated faction points have been assigned to the [System] Faction. There have been [1] successful attempts on [10] attempts on [Below, as Above] since its emergence. Do you wish to challenge the assigned [Faction]? Warning - Attempting a [Faction Challenge] on the dungeon will increase the difficulty of the attempt.]

I'd fallen through the aperture of the dungeon portal and gotten a mouthful of sand, unprepared to brace for land. Flapping around like a beached whale, my lungs struggling with the abrupt shift, I finally was able to pull myself up.

Richard was sitting on a rock, his slime trail glistening in the ambient light. I hadn't seen him so angry in a while.

“Did you get this notification about the dungeon?” I asked my slug, unwilling to engage with his anger at the cosmos.

Richard's eyes swiveled to me.

You're here already? Maybe you do care.

I examined the enclosure we were in, trying not to meet his eyes. We were on a beach, but we weren't on an island. Water pressed in on us from all sides, like we were in an air bubble on the bottom of the ocean. Kelp flapped by, and a watery light trickled down from above, waving in some unseen tide.

A menagerie of animals had traveled through Woodsten once. They hadn't stopped long enough to set up, instead working their way down to Dusridge for some festival. The owner, however, was hoping to draw a crowd down from Woodsten, so he’d pulled out one attraction to show off.

The owner had called it an aquarium, and this box of water made of [Enchanted] glass held brightly colored orange fish with long fins unlike anything we pulled out of the Heltenic rivers. Even the ocean fish that were brought in from time to time hadn’t compared to the strange fins and bright colors of the aquarium fish.

This dungeon space was the reverse. Richard and I sat in the aquarium, with the fish swimming around eyeing us. A blue and silver fish the size of my torso hit the enclosure, making the magic shimmer.

"Uh, do you think the barrier's going to hold?" I asked nervously. Had it shrunk, or was it my imagination? Not that I couldn't deal with confined spaces, but this dungeon seemed to have a kink for closing in on us.

You should challenge the assigned Faction.

I glanced at the slug and shrugged, accepting the challenge.

[Quest Granted: [Below, as Above] Faction Challenge

You are challenging the [System] faction assignment of this dungeon. Difficulty level moved from [Advanced] to [Legendary]. This dungeon has had [0] successful attempts at [Legendary] difficulty. Rewards will be appropriately adjusted upon completion of the dungeon.]

"What the hell did you sign us up for?" I said, reading the new quest prompt. "I'm going to die in here."

You were going to die in here, anyway. You barely survived a [Basic] dungeon with a seasoned [Adventurer]. This dungeon is a killer.

I turned to Richard, my hands reaching for him. I've never had such an urge to squish the very life out of the little guy.

Tandy, Ash, and Meredeath appeared, floating down from a portal as though their presence was a gift from the gods. What the hell? Why did I end up ass over teakettle, and they get gently lowered like prized pottery?

The island—I didn't know what else to call it—expanded threefold with their addition.

"Where's Pops and the princess?" I asked, brushing myself off. No one had to know the cost of my entrance to the dungeon.

"They'll be along, or they won't," Tandy answered, looking around at our new situation.

"I'm hoping they won't." Meredeath's dark eyes had nothing to do with her makeup. With her arms crossed and clothes slick with pond water, she looked a bit like a cat that had been left out in the rain. The desert heat long abandoned, this reality was cool, almost cold.

I stopped myself before pointing out that if she'd taken Tandy up on her weaving skills, Meredeath too could be the proud owner of a Woodsten cloak, aesthetic be damned.

Ash had gone over to the wall and knocked against it with his knuckles.

"Stop!" Panic overran common sense. The magical bubble shimmered faintly, and unlike my mind imagined, nothing bad happened.

"You okay, Cole? I was just trying to figure out what the bubble's made of." Even as he spoke, Ash was hyper-focused on the material of the bubble. His nose was within a couple of inches of the barrier as he knocked harder against it.

"Will you cut it out, man?" The words came out harsher than I had intended. All eyes swiveled to me, looking for an explanation. "It expands," I said lamely. "It could contract. This is a dungeon it could kill us in a blink."

As though to emphasize my point, a giant fish floated by, full of razor-sharp teeth pointed outwards, with thin wiry fins that looked ready to spear as much as to swim. The fish was four feet long, and two glassy eyes watched us.

"This is obviously the spawning ground, which is neutral territory." Ash took a couple of steps away from the barrier. "But if it bothers you that much, I'll just back off."

His words rang true with my [Dungeon Delver] skill, but something kept tingling at the back of my brain. This was not a safe space, or not nearly as safe as Ash thought it was.

"Yeah, come away from the wall. That nasty fish watching you looks a little too hungry." Tandy thankfully backed me up. "Besides, I'm not sure what a spawning area is, but Leo caused the root canals to sprout in the mouth of our first dungeon. So I'd say, based on our experience, nothing is truly safe when you get into one of these."

Three forms appeared overhead, slowly floating down.

Argin, her grandfather, the chaperone and the lady glided to a gentle rest as our enclosure expanded.

"I didn't think you'd join us," Tandy said dryly, looking at the group. I guessed something had happened.

The two nobles looked worse for wear. Their dresses had snags, pulling at the embroidery and tearing at the beaded lace. Neither spoke, unwilling to meet Tandy's eyes.

"Not like we had much choice in the matter," the grandfather muttered. "It was get ripped to shreds up there, or down here. We both wanted to live a little longer."

I clapped my hands together sharply, eyeing the giant ox carcass that was floating down above our newly arrived guests. All of their eyes swiveled to me.

"Move," I commanded sharply, pointing to our latest incoming guest.

[Your Mom’s Party] scattered, sensing the doom in my voice. Even the old pops and his granddaughter made an effort.

“Holy cow!” Ash yelled as the ox hit with a wet plop.

A smattering of entrails smacked the princess, causing her to shriek. Blood splattered across her dress, the girl stood up, her body clenched as though she couldn’t imagine the horror of what had just happened to her.

For a second, I thought she was going to run headfirst into the ocean herself.

I stepped forward quickly, trying to avert disaster by picking a chunk of intestine from her hair. She looked at me a whole different disgust coloring her expression at the idea that some mere peasant touched her.

I shrugged, stepping away.

Tandy poked at the ox, a haunch falling away from the bone smelling of cooked meat.

I guess we know what's for dinner.

Richard was the worst.

"What is this place?" The elder of the two ladies asked, the white collar looking ridiculous in the middle of the dungeon. She'd walked up to the wall of our underwater terrarium and sniffed at a fish with a long, swordlike nose with rows of serrated teeth as though the fish owed her an explanation.

"Haven't you looked at your notifications?" Meredeath asked, voice heavy with fatigue. She sat unceremoniously in the middle of the enclosure.

The woman looked horrified, and for a moment, I worried we'd done something wrong, before she opened her mouth and dispelled any semblance of intelligence she might have held.

"Notifications are for peasants." The woman's nose couldn't have gone higher if she'd tried.

I don't know whether it was a cruel irony of fate, but the fish she'd been examining picked that moment to strike. Two long jaws came through the protective barrier, snapping on either side of her neck, yanking her backwards into the water.

Before I could even think of moving, the water filled with blood. She drifted, head floating on a ribbon of white lace, with a look of indignation before shimmering silver fish descended, ripping her apart.

Ash looked at me, face green, as the truth of how close he'd come to death when testing the barrier.

The enclosure wobbled a moment, everyone drawing into the center next to Meredeath watching as it shrunk by a few feet in diameter.

"We are so screwed," Argin's grandfather said in a gruff voice. For once, I agreed with the man.

The emerald lady started snuffling, hyperventilating in the tight ribs of her corset.

"Cole, how are we going to win this one?" Tandy's quiet voice cut through the snuffling. I looked at her, as unsure as she sounded.

A large shadow was cast over our enclosure. We all looked up to find a long, serpentine creature with large paddle fins swimming over us. Sharp teeth grinned in its two-foot-long snout. Its eyes examined us with wary intelligence as it floated in the water, long tail slithering through the water. It wasn't a fish. Instead of scales, it had a tough-looking leathery hide.

I triggered [Identify] on the creature.

[Mosas - This creature was once common in the ancient Focloric inland sea. Known for its sharp teeth and quickness, it can easily cut most creatures in half with a single snap.]

That wasn't helpful. I could tell all of that just from looking at the creature.

I think you're finally going to get some practice dying.

For once, I didn't bother arguing with Richard.

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 7: into the Abyss

There used to be a challenge every young teenage boy in Woodsten undertook. Sometime between ten and thirteen, you had to dive into the old well that was used for cattle and swim as deeply as possible. We called it the abyss because it was deep and cold, and once you kicked underwater a few feet, it was dark. I've never been to hell, but I earned my rite of passage by diving into the abyss.

The tradition was, if you didn't last thirty seconds diving then you hadn't become a 'man' yet. It was one of those stupid rituals bored village kids come up with. I can see it now, but then it was everything. What I hadn't realized, because no one told me, was that everyone just dove below the surface, and hung on to a ledge six feet down. They'd count to thirty and then float up, newly appointed men.

Instead, what I believed was the story they told all the younger kids to scare them from trying. That the test was to keep swimming as long as possible, until you couldn't stand it, and then float up. If you lasted thirty seconds, then you'd made it.

I think they refrained from telling me to make me fail, to prove I was a loser. I jumped in and swam deeper. Immediately the light from the top of the well vanished. Any moment my hand scraped against the side of the well, making me lose momentum, I'd just kick off with my foot. Scrape it against the stones that lined the well. I went deeper. The water was dark, and the only real thing that separated up from down was my relentless push to prove myself by kicking and pulling myself down.

I lost count quickly, but as I eventually released the air I had in my lungs, and began fighting to refuse a gasp of water, I saw it. Just a little light. The slight brush of a current pulling at my clothes. My lungs had screamed, but my psyche said one more kick, just a little deeper, toward the light. It bobbed in the abyss, beckoning me on.

Leo saved me that day. He was watching my trial, and when one kid laughed at how stupid I was, he dived in after me.

I would have swum after that light.

Three years later, Tomi Elger did. Turned out the well has an underground river feeding it. Never found his body, even after they sent for a mage. I bet he saw the light.

Officially, the boys don't test each other like that anymore. They boarded up the old well and put a padlock on it. It's only used during shearing season when the herds come in for the annual event. I'm sure no one goes into the abyss anymore. Tomi might have been a loser, but everyone loved him.

Cole, snap out of it! I couldn't help staring at the pool. It was dark, which made little sense, since it was in the middle of the desert. It should have been salt-crusted, or reflecting the sky. Instead, it looked like the abyss. I swear I saw a light flickering in the depths.

"Tandy, you've got to have a better plan than this." I found myself saying, looking at the water numbly.

The barrier had shrunk us, driving us to the middle of the oasis. We wiggled between tight-knit, overgrown cacti to find a small grove of trees encircling a crystal clear, dark pond. Ash had already tested the water, and while tasting of minerals, the water seemed okay. It wasn't briny or brackish and didn't have a filmy scum on it.

Even though my gills ached for the water, I just didn't trust it.

"Cole, if you wanted a better plan, you shouldn't have put me in charge." Her voice was sharp enough to cut steel. She was right. I should have made the decision. I could have taken charge. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Marta’s old kitchen chastisement haunted me from The Ram’s Horn.

I looked around. Ash was staring at the surface of the lake. Tandy was scowling at me with her arms crossed. Meredeath had retreated to the shadow of the carriage. I tried catching her eye, but she was decidedly avoiding me.

I needed Leo, he was always good at sharing an eye roll about Tandy. Maybe that was the point. He wasn’t here anymore, and it was time to grow up. I straightened my back, trying to find a new posture in our altered party. I evaluated the rest of our little caravan.

Our ladies looked bedraggled. Their dresses were not suitable for cross-country travel. Just on the short hike in to the water, they'd both torn their sandals and picked up multiple snags on their dresses.

"Do you know how much this Eslastra Ellangarde costs? Probably more than your entire village!" I'd be miserable too if I were stuffed into a dress that elongated my neck. The mistress in charge turned out to be not much older than their young counterpart, maybe twenty. I would never understand how young nobility forced these decisions on their youth.

The young woman in the emerald dress had suffered a few cuts that went through the billowing sleeves of her dress. If we'd had time, I would have insisted we grab some other options from their luggage, but in the twenty minutes I'd spent with them, I wasn't sure they had anything more suited to the desert than their nightgowns.

"How are you holding up?" I asked Argin, pointedly ignoring the ladies.

She smiled, her face tight.

"We're awful. This is the worst Hunt I've ever been to." Grandpa complained. I didn't blame the guy; his foot was in rough shape. I'd bandaged it, and put a healing poultice on it, but what he really didn't need was to have to go into a pool of water to enter the dungeon.

"If I had anything for the pain, I'd give it to you," I said sincerely.

He lifted his face. "I know, son. This isn't your fault."

It was the kindest thing he'd said since we'd met him. I'm not sure what gave my thought away, but the man immediately soured and spat.

"You're going to kill us with this harebrained idea from the slug."

I'd placed Richard on a rock well away from our new friends. We'd blamed him for our next stunt, even if it was my [Dungeon Delver] skill telling me that the dungeon we needed to enter was inside the pool. It wasn't just me, though. The bubble around the enclosure was closing an inch, a foot, every thirty seconds, and it centered on the pool. We had no choice.

The trees across from us were a variety, but at least three of them were Heltenic aspens full of leaves ready to cut us into ribbons.

"I'll go first," I said. "He's my slug, so it's only right I risk it first." Puffing out my chest with fake confidence, I walked towards the edge of the water, letting my bare feet dip in. Part of me yearned to dive in. I had gills, so I had nothing to fear from going into the pool unless there were flesh-eating carp in there.

Peering into the water, I couldn’t help but be mesmerized because I could see only a foot or two deep.

There is no monster in the pool.

"How the hell do you know?" I hissed. Richard sat on his stone, and undulated forward, sand sticking to his slime as he approached the water. He looked at it, tentacles reaching forward as though he was communing with the water. He slid forward, his slime an aqua color that pooled out in front of him as he skated across the water.

"Can that yellow banana asshat walk on water?" Meredeath was still steamed that Richard had led us to the oasis, effectively trapping us here. She'd insisted the oxen could have made it if the 'lightning strike' at the barrier hadn't cooked them.

"Oh, that's cool," Ash added, not helping the situation. "It's like he's Jesus, right? He's the one that walked on water?"

If there were anything hungry in these waters, it would snap me up.

The slug moved quickly across the water, as though he were skating on ice. The aqua-tinged slime stayed on top of the water, buoyed by some unseen force.

See, nothing to be concerned over.

The water rippled in an arc around Richard before I could utter a word of warning. Two giant jaws sprang out from either side of him and snapped closed. A reptilian swish of a tail sent the creature down into the depths.

"Richard!" Meredeath yelled, as though her voice could carry underwater.

It's fine. I remember now. This is how you get to the dung—" Richard's mental voice silenced as he must have entered the dungeon. Either that or he died, but I was pretty sure I'd get a death notification if my 'owner' suddenly passed away. Who knows, with his [Immortality] his death might spur on an eclipse or something.

Meredeath was throwing rocks into the pool, and Ash was looking to join her. Tandy sidled up to me.

"What's the word?"

"I think Richard found the dungeon entrance," I whispered, pointing at the expanding ripples. If saying the wrong thing was a skill, Tandy’s expression told me I’d leveled up. But I really didn’t want to tackle what our newly minted adventurers were going to think about the situation.

"Well, that's just lovely." Tandy was still pissed at me, but she arrived at the same conclusion. We both looked at the two women and the grandfather. This was going to be hard. The barrier had reached the outer part of the cacti, and whole cacti were getting ripped up and sent into the sky.

Then again, the situation would probably convince them.

"The real question," I murmured. "Is what is a water-based dungeon doing in the middle of the desert?"

“I'm more worried about how any of us, much less them—” She nodded towards our new guests. “—Are going to survive an ancient dungeon capable of chasing us into its maw.”

For a second my mind flashed to the tidemaw, waiting at the center of its swamp to suck in prey across the bog. This dungeon was a hunter.

"Well, I'm going after Richard," I said the words quickly, grabbing my pack. Tandy looked at me for a moment, and as realization hit, I sprinted toward the pool. I did not want to have anything to do with herding or convincing anyone to enter the pool. It was time to prove myself, so I just went for it.

I swam out into the middle, all the while everyone shouted at me like I was crazy from the shore. Instead of swimming across the pool, I started angling down. I hadn't really understood until that moment how upset my gills had been in the desert. As the blissful cold water slid between the slits on my neck, euphoria overcame me. I stopped swimming and just sank into the water’s embrace.

The giant sea creature meant to ferry me to the dungeon swam up beside me, a giant eye on the side of its face examining me. I gave it a reassuring nod, knowing I’d find my way down. I reached to loosen my hammer from my belt, belatedly remembering its absence. The monster, as though understanding my mission, let me go.

This descent held none of the anxiety of the abyss of my childhood. I could breathe easily. In choosing this, I didn't have to prove anything. The water grew darker until I'd sunk at least thirty, forty feet. No current pulled at my hair. The water was still, and endless.

I felt at peace. The emerald ring on my finger warmed on my hand, as though it, too, missed the caress of water against its surface.

Down and up were meaningless. There was only darkness.

The ring pulsed in my hand, drawing my attention. In the distance was a light, and as all humans, as all prey of the dungeons, I swam towards it.

I didn't have Leo to pull me back this time.

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 6: Dead Ahead

One of my frequent duties as an assistant chef was to grind up deliveries from the butcher for various meals. I no longer wondered what it felt like to go through a meat grinder. The storm seemed to know I was exposed and sent every nearby leaf and stone at me and the undead ox.

"How are you still alive?" Meredeath asked as I climbed up, now shirtless, with crisscross cuts and scars slowly healing over my face and chest. I felt like I’d died a thousand times harnessing the beasts. Maybe that was the attraction.

Shrugging, I settled into place next to her, trying to play it cool.

Richard spoiled the ambiance by giving me side-eye and attempting a catcall whistle. With his pursed lips, he blew slimy spittle into the air.

I shook my head at him, wincing as a headache had taken shape. My gills, exposed to the dry air, were flapping angrily, like a fish out of water. My heat debuff hadn't comeback, but I knew it was close.

"Can we get out of here?" I leaned back, wincing as the hot black seat burned my back.

Meredeath didn't need to be told twice. She didn't bother with the reins and just gestured, mentally commanding her oxen to pull the wagon out. Richard used the momentum to leap onto my lap, slithering up my body to perch on my shoulders.

"Are we moving?" I could hear the lady screech like a disgruntled parakeet.

The wagon went up on two wheels, careening sharply to get around the wagon in front of us. As the wheels dug into the sand, the whole carriage tilted on its axis. Were we really going to be the losers that screwed up the escape plan within the first few seconds of enacting it?

The axle twisted, the oxen jerked forward, straightening our trajectory. The parakeet in the cab had quieted, as I'm sure she'd slammed into the sidewall. I'd been holding on for life, and even Richard had resorted to using some of his blue gluey slime to lock himself in place. The carriage jerked in the opposite direction. Causing another squawk.

I looked behind us at the giant twisting tornado.

The undead oxen were moving awkwardly, as though they theoretically knew how to gallop but had never done it before.

I realized distantly as the funnel approached the rear of the caravan that, because Meredeath was controlling them, that was probably exactly what was going on. I've been watching oxen drive carts my whole life, but did I really know how their muscles work?

We're not going to escape it, are we?

I fixed my eyes on the approaching funnel cloud, watching the carcass of an ox swirl up into the air. No, we were definitely not going to make it.

It just wasn't fair. The hunkered frog march up the caravan to find the magical wagon, breaking civilized rules to get it going, and here we were about to die, anyway.

Tell her to follow my directions.

"Tell her yourself!"

I'm afraid I'll break her concentration.

Meredeath’s eyes blazed with power as she channeled it down to the oxen. The slug had a point.

Richard had slithered off my shoulders and was stretching out his foot to the dashboard. I helped him as we hit a bump that almost threw me out of the cab. He [Glued] himself to the dash like some slug ornament.

"What's he doing?" Meredeath asked, her jaw set in stone, eyes locked forward.

Richard's tentacles were waving as though he was sniffing the air, then he pointed forward to the left like a misaligned compass.

This way!

"We need to go that way." I pointed following Richard’s tentacles.

Meredeath's eyes flashed to mine.

"Where is he leading us?" I grinned, giving her question a shrug.

"Who cares? We're going to die anyway, we might as well follow the sentient slug, right?"

Her jaw relaxed as the wagon jerked again, heading towards another nondescript dune.

We skimmed across the desert like water bugs across a puddle. As Meredeath got the hang of her power, the undead oxen fulfilled their role in death better than they had in life. We'd even pulled ahead of the funnel.

I clung to the railing as I looked back. The wagons were being lifted and pulverized in the wind, whole bodies of oxen rotated up higher than I could see.

"Keep going! We're going to make it!" I yelled, a burble of triumph escaping.

Even the debris hitting our carriage’s shield had lessened. We were going to make it!

Don't get too excited. It's letting us go because we've been doing exactly what it wanted this whole time.

As the carriage crested the dune Richard had aimed us toward, my [Dungeon Diver] skill flashed. We were in the presence of a dungeon. We hadn't escaped; we'd been driven. Moments later, lightning danced between the horns of our oxen as we passed through an unseen barrier.

The air was still, and the debris field we'd been driving through had completely vanished. A cluster of cacti surrounded a copse of trees sitting in the valley’s bowl.

The oxen stumbled to a halt, and I realized we'd done the impossible. We'd survived. Meredeath released her magic, and the two beasts collapsed. Now that we weren't moving, the smell of cooked meat was pervasive. The remains of the ox melted off the bones.

Meredeath drew in a sharp breath. Her skin blanched, collarbones protruding and face hollow. She looked like, given a century or two, she could be Rhi Voss, the [Immortal Lich]. My hands were white knuckled, locked on the rails of our bench. I tried to school my expression as color and vitality began seeping back in as she released the magic. She was more [Necromancer], more [Lich] than I wanted to admit.

"Are we free? Is it over? Let me out!" came an over-articulated, high-pitched, nasal voice. I glanced at the oxen, realizing we had a new problem.

I closed my eyes as I heard the crack of the carriage door.

"Oh, my BEAR! What's happening to our oxen?" Predictably, the green-clad noble exited nose first, with a fragile delicateness as her slippered foot touched the sand.

Richard unstuck from the dash of the carriage with a wet smack. I didn't really want to put him on my bare shoulders, so I just rested him on my forearm. His slimy foot wrapped around my arm as I jumped down from the bench. Someday I'd get used to the feeling, I'm sure.

A shimmering dome sat over the small valley, preventing aspen leaves and cacti and dust from entering. The tornado had moved over us, catching up quickly, as though we'd sprung some cosmic mousetrap.

The second lady just screamed when she saw our barbecued ox-power.

Say they got hit by lightning. I was pretty sure Richard used [Partial Rapport] team speak.

I waited for Meredeath to explain, but glancing up, I realized she was still in shock from her magic use. Her eyes looked hollow, dark from exhaustion.

On second thought, it was probably better they didn't look at our [Death Knight] come [Necromancer].

"Lightning." I coughed, trying not to look at the two. I didn't really care if they believed me or not, but being half-naked made it hard to lie.

The rest of the carriage emptied into the dungeon oasis. Ash looked at the dome above us with wide eyes. Tandy examined the oxen with a frown on her face, already seeing the holes in my 'lightning' logic.

Argin was whispering to her grandfather, who'd regained consciousness at some point in our journey.

I missed Leo. I imagined him slapping me on the back, asking if I'd gotten to the second floor of Meredeath's dungeon, considering my state of undress.

Placing Richard on a rock with two sprigs of some sort of desert grass to munch on, I rummaged through my pack to find another shirt. What I wouldn't give for some nice slime resistant self-repairing leather armor. I pulled out a green linen pullover with a lace-up chest. I was down to my last shirt.

Richard chewed loudly on the grass. It's dry, he complained.

"It's a desert," I said blandly. What did he expect? My stomach grumbled. I dug out a small sack of Tandy's Dry Granola(tm).

I'd prefer dessert.

"Me too, bud." I sat next to him, crunching down on a cinnamon-flavored cluster of oats. The tornado had encompassed the entire dome. We were trapped. We'd traded a sure death for just a prolonged one.

The dome flashed and shrunk.

I was wondering how it'd force us into the dungeon.

"What are we going to do?" Ash's panicky voice cut through the noise of the tornado bouncing off the dome.

It flashed, shrinking a few feet again.

Six sets of eyes looked at me. Richard and the old grandpa were in their own worlds.

Why was I deciding? I was so tired my bones ached. The last gashes across my back were sealing up. I was not the leader.

"Tandy." I snapped my fingers in front of her face. "What are we doing? You're the team leader."

Tandy looked at me, wild-eyed, as six faces swiveled to her.

Richard raised his eyestalks to evaluate the situation, a stringy leaf hanging out of his mouth.

Good deflection, 10/10.

The barrier flashed again, shrinking like an island in a flood.

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 5: Alternate Means of Transportation

Blue magic shimmered around me, locking in the black dust as the tree slammed into the side of the carriage. The barrier held, but likely because the majority of the tree had missed.

"Was it aiming for us?" I coughed, not quite understanding what was going on.

It wasn't, but the dungeon was.

The black dust dissipated in the wind.

"The dungeon?" I whispered, looking at the tree that sat a couple of feet from the carriage where the shield had stopped its descent. The tree had splintered when it hit, pulverizing into a leaf and splinter nightmare.

The fights and arguments within the carriage had halted before the destruction of the tree.

"Cole, can you get in here without leaving the shield?" Tandy's voice was unnaturally calm. The blue magic crackled as sand, splinters, leaves, and other debris peppered it. There were a couple of feet to navigate, so I could probably wedge my way in.

"Yeah." I coughed black dust out of my lungs. "I'll be there in a second."

I twisted around, standing on the cab to get a good look at the funnel. It was huge, probably as wide as our caravan was long, and it was headed right for us. Like the tree, it seemed to have a purpose, like it was a predator with a mind, not some random act of nature.

I shook my head. What was I even thinking? Funnels and Heltenic aspens didn't exist in the desert.

I hopped down and shimmied sideways, cracking the door open and joined the party. Two things immediately slapped me. The perfume of western nobility, and cool air. My [Heat Exhaustion] stopped immediately, now displaying a timer until I downgrade to [Heat Cramps].

Two ladies, I couldn't think of another word to describe them sat unhappily next to Argin and her grandfather, while Tandy, Ash and Meredeath sat on the other bench. Richard dropped onto Meredeath's shoulder and wiggled his tentacles imploringly. I reached out and scooped him up, my knees cracking as I kneeled between the two benches.

"We demand that you leave our carriage!" The lady sat primly in a blue dress with a white bodice. A high beaded white collar elongated her neck and lifted her nose, threatening to strangle her if she gave an unpropitious slouch. The poise and azure color of her dress gave me the impression of a judgmental tortoise.

Her companion, equally starched in an impractical emerald frock, sat with the same terrapin sneer. They were undoubtably sent to the Hunt to find proper suitors. By the haughty expressions on their faces, I doubted they were successful.

"So you could what, sit here and die?" Meredeath asked, staring out the window at our impending doom.

The lady in the stuffy green dress responded with flashing eyes. "Our chaperone is in the car in front of us. I'm sure she'll be along shortly." Her eyes flicked to me, no doubt seeing my frown. The wagon in front of this one was almost pulverized last time I'd seen it. "Or, we'll just put the carriage on autopilot!" She delivered the last words with an uplifting, triumphant expression.

Ash snorted, earning the ire of both ladies.

"The shield's going to cut out in ten minutes," Ash said, glancing at me. "And then I'll have to add another fuel rod. There's only one left. That's not enough energy to get you anywhere, even if this bucket of junk had an autopilot, which is doubtful. I don't think we have enough fuel to manifest the ghost horses to draw this carriage at this point."

I shivered, remembering the otherworldly horses that powered the carriage. They were constellation horses, not actual ghosts but magic held together by pinpoints of light.

"How come there's so little fuel? How were they going to make it out of the desert as is?" Tandy jumped at the illogic of the situation.

Ash carefully avoided looking at me as he spoke. “I think someone used the fuel in a… poorly planned attempt to shoot a fireball at the funnel cloud or something.” A stab of guilt ran through me. I had hit random buttons. "Either way, the offensive magic completely drained an entire stack of fuel rods. I added a few, which burned out when the tree hit. We've gone through most on hand."

The girls, for the first time, looked worried.

"Alright," I said, trying to calm my own racing heart as another thump sounded against the shields. "Anyone got any ideas about how we're going to get out of this?"

"Maybe it'll just pass?" Argin was so hopeful, cradling her grandfather, who'd thankfully passed out.

Tell them.

"It's not going to pass." I shook my head. "The storm's hunting us. The tree was aimed in our direction, and the funnel has been tracking straight toward the caravan. I don't know if this is some rogue magic or, like Richard says, a dungeon hunting us. It’s not going to be satisfied until we're all dead."

It’s hungry. Richard intoned creepily, eyestalks twitching. I slapped at him, no need to scare everyone more than we already were.

Silence settled on the crowd, my statement cutting through all arguments. The girl in the emerald dress had started sniffling completely buckling under the reality of our situation. To her keeper’s horror, she wiped away her corpse-like makeup with a sleeve, revealing a much younger face. I realized she was a few years younger than my sister, Share.

The so-called ‘lady’ hiccupped and raised her hand. I gave a head bob, encouraging her to speak.

"Who's Richard?" she asked meekly.

Tandy pointed at Richard, who encircled my shoulders like a slimy scarf.

"We're taking advice from a slug?"

We can let that one die.

I ignored both of them.

"I've got an idea," the least likely person in the carriage spoke up. All heads swiveled to the teal-haired [Death Knight], whose eyes hadn't left the desert landscape. She turned her head to look at me. "Cole, I'm going to need your help."

We shimmied out into the storm. Clouds had billowed out over the landscape, the temperature had dropped, and the wind whipped around us even harder. My heat intolerance status had decreased to [Heat Cramps], thankfully.

She'd refused to tell her idea to the group, waiting until we were outside, so we sat in the cab with the sandstorm wild around us to have a heart to heart.

"WHAT'S YOUR IDEA?" I shouted.

Meredeath shook her head, pointing to the pass through. It was open, and at least two pairs of curious eyes were staring out at us. I slid the separator closed.

The day had taken its toll on Meredeath. Her hair was greasy with sweat, her black clothes were looking tan, and she'd picked up a fishnet farmer's tan baking in the sun. Her eyeliner was on point, though, as she leaned in to whisper to me.

"I can raise oxen to pull the cart, I just need you to harness them up."

I knew it! She wants you in a harness.

Shaking Richard’s comment off, I fought hard against the horror that crept along my bones.

"You're a [Necromancer]?" I whispered, unable to hide the horror in my voice.

Meredeath looked at me as if I were being a complete idiot.

"No, I'm a [Death Knight]." She said it in a way that made it perfectly clear that I was a dumbass. "The class just has certain perks."

I sat on the driver's bench with my crush in the middle of a deadly sandstorm bent on killing us as she admitted she had a forbidden skill. Meredeath leaned forward, her lips pursed as she looked into my soul with her fiery green eyes. Murderous leaves arced across the blue haze of the shield as she traced a line from my temple to my jaw with her cool fingertips.

Richard stared at me in horror.

[Necromancer] or not, she made me feel alive. I leaned in when she used her index finger to close my open jaw with a click.

"Look, I didn't choose this anymore than you chose to be Richard's pet." Considering I had, at the end of the day, chosen to be Richard's pet, her argument wasn't terribly compelling. My thoughts must have been obvious because she kept explaining. "I needed a [Sponsor] and Rhi offered me two classes, [Necromancer] or [Death Knight]. They both have death powers, but [Death Knight] does not have the control over undead like a [Necromancer]. I'm not summoning their souls to do my bidding. It's more like creating bone minions with my will."

"Bone minions?" I gazed at the funnel, my mind racing to find any other solution. My heart was ripping in half. [Necromancy] was anathema to those under the Everbear's gaze. If I agreed to this, I would be a participant in a crime. We all would.

"The tornado is going to rip through this flimsy carriage in seconds. Cole, we need to do this now." I finally raised my eyes to hers, seeing the green flare of magic.

"I just don't—"

Meredeath cut me off, waving at the side of the wagon. Two oxen trotted up, eyes green, deep gashes along their sides. The blood was congealed, no longer flowing. They moved like oxen, but something was off. One of them looked at me with glassy eyes, just like a real ox might. Then it eerily, gave me a grin, blocky teeth flashing behind sagging gums.

"What do you need me to do?" I asked numbly, if I am already complicit, I might as well survive the attempt.

That's my boy. Anything to survive, am I right?

"I need you to harness them in place," Meredeath directed through gritted teeth as the ox unnaturally stepped sideways into place. One of them got hit by a giant aspen leaf. Even as an ear was sheared off, it didn’t blink.

That's when it hit. They looked odd moving because it wasn't the muscles controlling the movement anymore. It was the bones through threads of magic.

I jumped down, realizing why she needed me. The storm was raging, and the whirling debris hadn't stopped. The shield we were under didn't protect the oxen.

Richard practically dove onto the floorboard before I was too far away. I believe in you, big guy!

His tentacles bobbed in what I could only assume was a “thumbs up” in slug.

One stamped its hooves as though it were impatient for me to get started. I glanced up at Meredeath, and she winked. Resolutely, I grabbed the first harness, loosened it up to fit the first ox, took a deep breath, and sprinted into the storm.

We’re rooting for you! I looked back over my shoulder to see Richard watching me from the top of the dashboard like a glorified hood ornament. His two fangs shined in crackling blue light.

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 4: Maganical

Let me at them! I'll chew their faces off!! I'll slime their mothers! I'll... I'll...

I tuned out Richard. I was too tired to give a shit about his antics. Larri and I had made it to the maganical carriage, but just barely. The man was old and had terrible breath. That was always a sign in our sheep that they probably would not make it through the winter. 

Tandy and Meredeath had wedged our makeshift shield against the carriage wheels, relieving some of the burden. 

"Open up, or you're all going to die!" Tandy shouted. I think the original idea was that a woman would be less intimidating, but in hindsight, Tandy was probably the worst choice for communicating with the wealthy inhabitants.

The inhabitants muttered at each other than gave an aristocratic, "Fuck off!"

"I like your girl," the old man whispered.

"She's not my girl--" I looked down at his lecherous smile. "--and that's just gross."

I shuffled around Argin, waving at her grandfather. She can deal with him. 

"Tandy, threatening them isn't going to solve anything." I grabbed her corner of our shield, causing her to sag against the carriage wheel.

"If you've got some better ideas, I'm all for it." She was tired; her sliced hair stuck out oddly as the ends were still in her braid. Tandy looked like she'd gone to hell, and the experience had changed her. Besides, I'm not lying. That funnel cloud is closer, and this carriage will not stand up to its full strength. The carriage shimmered in the wind, little aspen leaves stuck on its walls as the sandy wind triggered its defenses. 

There wasn't much cover by the carriage. We might wedge under, but the vehicle had very low ground clearance. We'd be lying almost flat, and I wasn't sure any of us would get up at that point. My [Concussed] state had thankfully vanished between picking up the old man and stumbling to a halt. My stamina bar had drained to almost a quarter, and it was refilling at a tenth of the normal speed. 

"I'll take care of it. Can you hold Richard?" 

I refused to be handed off like a piece of luggage.

"Sure, Cole. Whatever you need." I'd never known my friend to just fold and hand off a situation with so little care. 

It must have shocked Richard too, because he forgot to bite me as I slid my hands under his foot to hand him off. 

I took a deep breath, looking at my timer until [Heat Stroke] it read [45] minutes. It was time to take some risks, because chances were, I would not make it out of this desert anyway. Might as well get some use out of [Gelatinous Absorption]. 

Before anyone could stop me, I was out from under our cover.

Only stones hit me at first, small pebbles, sand flying in my eyes. The first slice hit my calf. It was painful, and for a moment I worried it'd sliced through my muscle, but [Gelatinous Absorption] sealed me right up. My health only dropped a point. 

I'd started climbing the front cab of the wagon when the second leaf hit me in the back. It ripped a hole through my pack, my shirt, and my shoulder, coming out the other side. Shockingly, only five health points dropped. The pain was excruciating, but I could feel my chest close up, my lung self-heal. I clung to the grab bar, waiting it out. Another leaf hit my arm, sticking out of the meaty part of my tendon. 

I took another step. This would not get better.

I'd tuned out the gasps and shouts from my teammates.

The cab had the remains of its driver. I didn't know the guy. The wealthy stayed apart, but I remembered his iron gray mustache that upturned and his black top hat. Neither was present as his headless corpse slumped over, a hand on the controls. I sat next to him and unceremoniously shoved his body off the far side of the carriage.

He deserved better, but I didn’t have the time to set him down gently.

"Is that Otis?" came an outraged cry from the interior.

I looked down at the maganical control board. Another leaf slashed across my face as I plucked one from my arm. Blinking the grit out of my eyes, I saw that there were a hundred buttons I could hit. None of them had labels I recognized.

A leaf hit my bicep, cutting off the remaining tatters of my sleeve.

Maganical carriages were rare, and I only remembered one instance of one rolling through Woodsten. It'd been a summer solstice parade. The district fair had moved up to Woodsten because Dusridge was dealing with flooding. I was fascinated, but the driver sneered at me when I tried to hop up to get a better look.

"No country bumpkin is going to touch my carriage with their grubby little fingers," he'd said, smacking my hand away with his cane.

I blinked; blood had leaked into my eye. 

Focus, Cole, you've got to figure it out.

The carriage shimmered blue. Maybe the blue buttons were for the shield? Breaks could be red? The yellow buttons flashed, demanding attention. Those were probably damage indicators?

Fuck, I was just making it up.

Hit the purple buttons, and if there's something yellow.

I stared at the control panel, not sure if I should trust Richard's advice. Another leaf came right at my head. I ducked, and it skimmed my back, slicing off a layer of skin.

Screw waiting. I started hitting the purple and yellow buttons.

The shield around the carriage turned off, and an audible click sounded on the side of the carriage while two barrels moved forward along the seat. 

I could hear yelling as my team forced entry into the carriage. There was one more yellow button, and I toyed with waiting since we'd accomplished most of our goals. Fuck it. I hit the button, and the two barrels to the right and left of my seat aimed up and then shot giant glowing fireballs into the sky.

A flap of my remaining sleeve caught fire as I watched the fireballs expand and slam into one of the sandy dunes in front of the caravan. As I patted out my sleeve, I was at once grateful that the mechanism hadn't been pointed at the funnel behind me. The last thing we needed was a whirlwind of fire.

The slat separating the cab from the coach opened, and Ash's face popped into the frame.

"Hey," he said, scanning the control board.

"Everything okay in there?" I asked, hearing some squabbling behind him.

"Meredeath's taking care of it. Can you move your leg? I need to see that panel." I scooted to the edge of the bench. "Alright, if you hit the blue button with the three on it, that should protect us all for a bit." His eyes had gained a silvery tint to them as though he were using some sort of skill.

I dutifully hit the blue button, praying it would not launch a blue fireball or chop me in half with a half-formed shield. 

A mechanical clicking sounded as metal struts clicked out so that the expanding fabric canopy covered the cab to protect the driver from the sun. An aspen leaf hit, slicing right through the fabric.

"Uh, Ash, I don't think that's going to protect me."

"Just click the big blue button. That'll activate the shield," he said calmly, as though I should have known this was a two-step process.

I hit the button. 

Nothing happened.

The wind had picked up, sending debris almost sideways. Leaves on the ground started moving, and I spotted a large dark spot headed our way.

Ash ducked back into the coach. I kept my eyes on the sky, watching for more leaves. Thankfully, they seemed to have dropped off. 

"Ash, hurry." The words were for me. Ash worked his magic in the coach, but when I focused on the floating blob, I knew we were in trouble.

Richard had squeezed through the pass-through. He sat on the bench next to me, tentacles extended as he took in the scene.

Is that what I think it is?

"Unfortunately, yes, if you think that's a whole fucking tree." And there's only one type of leaf we'd been seeing since the wind kicked up.

The tree fluttered in the air like one of its saw-blade leaves. It must have been caught by a powerful gust of wind.

Tell Ash to hurry.

"You tell him."

The slug looked at me with wild eyes.

"Ash, Richard says you should hurry." My health had dropped to less than fifty percent; my heat timer was ticking down to my death. Who cared if it came just a little early?

"If you don't hand him the core, I'm going to stitch your eyebrows to your lips!" Tandy threatened. I blinked, the resignation fading away. Tandy needed me to fight.

I slapped the side of the cab hard.

"If we don't figure this out, there's a sixty-foot tree about to smash into the carriage."

The scuffling stopped. An unfamiliar face popped into my view, and I watched as their eyes widened.

With a loud click, Ash shouted through the pass-through, "I got it, try again!"

I slammed my hand down on the big blue button, and a shimmering blue shield popped up around the wagon and cab. The tree was only thirty yards away. Richard was sitting on the dash, staring at the buttons upside down.

Hit this one. His tentacles pointed to a black button.

"What does it do?" I moved my hand towards the button, eyes on the tree.

It'll roll coal.

My finger depressed the button, not knowing what he was talking about.

Many things could have happened. We could have leaped forward, pulled by magical horses. The shield could have gotten a boost, making us impervious to all damage. Hell, I'd have taken another giant fireball aimed at the incoming tree.

Instead, the carriage belched a giant cloud of noxious black gas that enveloped the wagon and the three adjacent.

I couldn't even see Richard to chastise him.

Hell yes!

He sounded much too optimistic as the tree hit.

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 3: Survivors

"About fucking time, Argin. Weren't we paying you to keep us safe?" An old man grumbled, he was wrapped in wool even in the heat. His white hair sat like a feathery fringe around the cap covering what was likely a bald top.

"Grandpa, how could they keep us safe from flying debris?" I upped grandpa’s age, since the woman holding him looked older than me. She looked resigned as they huddled under the wagon.

"Magic—they're Heroes of the Hunt, they've got to have magic. Look at that kid there." The hunched old man pointed at Ash. "He's using magic."

A woman gave us an apologetic smile, as though she was used to his antics. She was wrapped from head to toe in the sandy desert garb most of the caravan sported. He had dark wools, as though it wasn’t possible for him to overheat. I was curious why they'd gotten under cover when so many others hadn't.

[Your Mom's Party] stood there with our imbued shield looking stupidly at the pair, before I realized everyone was waiting on me to give a command. I knew Ash was exhausted from running his magic constantly, so I went with a hasty decision.

"Let's take a break, everyone under the wagon."

You sure? That funnel cloud is only getting closer.

I glanced back, only to have the rest of my party take my advice. They ducked under the wagon, and the wooden shield suddenly smacked me in the head. I dropped to a knee.

I'm not sure what makes you think I'm into this.

I'd fallen forward, with Richard squished between the shield and my neck.

[Enlarge].

Suddenly the slug was three times bigger, pushing at the shield to give us space.

I rolled out from under it, [Enlarged] Richard almost smothering my head as we awkwardly rolled.

Owe, did I just get a splinter?! he whined.

I was eating sand, the goose egg on my head throbbing. Being the 'leader' was not my cup of tea.

I sat up. Argin stared at me wide-eyed. She obviously hadn't seen Richard and my antics before. No one else reacted. The old guy’s eyes were milky and faded with age, and thankfully I don’t think he even noticed.

“Moooo,” a frantic oxen had broken loose from its harness. It was a larger beast, with a silver pan emblazoned on the leather straps denoting it belonged to the chef’s wagon. We collectively watched as it galloped away, untouched by debris as though it was hoof-blessed.

“Well, there goes the last ox.” Grandpa spat, as though it was our fault.

"We can't outrun the funnel without oxen, and they're all dead. Well, all except that one." Tandy sounded uncharacteristically hopeless. Ash started arguing with her, his nature winning out.

None of the team was worried about Richard or me..

"Are you okay?" Argin asked. For a second I wondered just how hard I'd hit my head. Why would she care?

"I think so?" I fuzzily checked my status, noting the [Concussed] status.

He's fine, I'm the one with a fucking tree branch stuck in my skin!

Richard slid down my arm, his eyestalks whipping around wildly. I searched his body to find a toothpick-sized splinter sticking out from one of his black spots. I reached out my fingers, brushing the offending spike, and the slug quivered, mentally squealing.

With a sharp yank, I pulled it free. The [Immortal] banana slug clung to my arm, eyestalks sliming as he looked up at me.

It was just a splinter.

"You're going to be okay." My mind raced. What had my mom done when I was a kid? I patted him on the head. "Do you need a wet washcloth? Why don't you use some slime to heal that over?"

I looked up at the woman, who leaned away. Her earlier empathy had given way to an uneasy concern as I babied my oversized slug.

"He's sentient."

"I'm sure." She turned to Tandy. "So, what's the plan?"

I could almost see Leo giving me a wide grin and two thumbs up. Fuck you, Leo. You're not even here anymore, and you're still making fun of me.

Meredeath gave me a smile as though she knew exactly what I was thinking.

Richard had moved back onto my shoulder. Argin had moved to the other side of the wagon. Tandy was now arguing with the old man. And Ash was leaning dangerously out from under the wagon, about to get brained any second.

"I think I've got a solution to our problem." Ash's voice cut across the clamoring. He'd leaned out dangerously, looking ahead in the caravan. "Do you think all six of us could fit under the shield?"

Seven.

"Seven." I corrected Ash for the slug pouting on my shoulder.

"Excuse me?" He blinked.

"You said six, but it's seven." I pointed to the slug. They all looked at me like I'd gone crazy.

"Cole, how hard did you hit your head?" Meredeath asked, holding back a snicker. She’d been staring out at the oxen, as though communing with the dead.

Had I missed something?

"The slug?" I whispered as Ash started his explanation.

"You remember the magically enhanced coach? Of course you do, it's the gray passenger wagon in the middle of the caravan for our VIP crowd. It's only four wagons up." He gave the reasoning plainly, as though it meant something. Maybe I had hit my head too hard. No one seemed to pick up what he was putting down. "You guys, it's maganical! It didn't have live oxen, used some sort of ghost oxen or something. Better yet, it was imbued to withstand physical and magical blows. If there's a place we can ride out a death tornado, it's in that carriage!"

“Maganical?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if it was my throbbing head or Ash’s unusual worldview causing the confusion.

“Magic and mechanical, maganical!” Ash beamed with way more enthusiasm than his wordplay warranted.

That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Maga sounds like a baby choking on its own spit.

I just gave Ash a thumbs up, and patted Richard on the head.

Ash sounded pretty confident. I did vaguely remember a fancy carriage fueled by magic. They'd had a ransom's worth of imbued fuel rods to power the thing.

"If I remember right," I said slowly, careful not to slur any of my words. "The driver's seat was exposed. How are we going to drive the carriage, or refuel it?"

Sounds like a major design flaw. I was with the slug on this one.

"I'm sure we can figure something out," Ash said, waving to the discarded shield lying in the sand with a dozen aspen leaves sticking out of the top of it.

The team huddled, trying to figure out the best way to get everyone under our makeshift shield. Ash, Meredeath, and Tandy went first, shifting the shield up and scuffling under it together in one smooth motion. The woman, Argin, helped her grandfather, Larri, across. Richard and I brought up the rear with a tired looking Meredeath. Apparently, the team didn't think I would be helpful holding up our cover while [Concussed].

At this point, I wasn't going to argue.

We shuffled much slower, having to stop several times while Argin hauled up her grandfather. It was during one of these breaks that I noticed blood in the sand. Someone had been sliced and wasn't owning up to it. With the frequency of stops, I suspected who. I started digging through my bag as I waited for us to continue.

"How much further?" Meredeath asked. I glanced back to catch her darkly staring at the back of my head, her teeth gritted and hair slicked back with sweat. She was not happy.

"Do you want--" I'd offered a few times, but surely this time.

"Shut up, Cole, I'm fine."

"We're almost there," Tandy called from the front.

"Argin, check on your grandfather and use this." I handed her a bandage, looking pointedly at the sand. Her eyes flicked down, and she gasped, oblivious of his true state.

"Pops, are you hurt?" I winced at the concern in her voice. She cared deeply for the man.

The old man looked at her, his face sagging under the scrutiny. Avoiding eye contact, he lifted his pant leg slowly, revealing a blood-soaked sock.

"It's my foot," he whispered as he sank to the sand. He wasn’t going to make it. Argin opened her mouth as though to say something conciliatory, but words escaped her as the reality of the situation sunk in.

I made a split-second decision and jumped around Ash. A Heltenic aspen leaf hit my arm, but my new [Gelatinous Absorption] skill kept the damage to a minimum. My shirt, however, had picked up a new tear.

Argin looked at me as if I were crazy.

"I've got [First Aid] and my slug has healing properties." Kneeling down in the tight space, I looked down at his foot. Ash scooted backwards, giving me a little more space. Larri's foot had a deep gash, as though he'd stepped right on a buried aspen leaf. I wasn't sure how he'd traveled this far. His pinky toe hung by a flap of skin, and the slice continued through the midsection of his foot.

"Richard, are you of any help here?" I wasn't sure I could stitch the foot, and a poultice would not do much good in the short term. But we could try gluing it all back together.

Sorry, Cole. I'm mostly useful just pulling skin together, however, my skills have worn off, and now that I'm [Concussed] too, I dare not try anything.

Great, he really was useless.

"Cole, can you hurry?" The strained question came from Tandy, whose shaky arms were holding up the front of our enclosure.

Making a quick decision, I grabbed the wrap from Argin. I grabbed some of Richard's numbing slime, mixed in a little of my blood poultice and wrapped his foot as tight as possible. The barely conscious man moaned, and his granddaughter tensed, but I was quick and steady.

"How is that going to help?" Ash asked. I stared at him long enough that he ducked his head in apology.

Scooping a hand under Larri, my knees cracked as I lifted. He smelled of sweat, piss, and vanilla.

"Let's go," I grunted. He was a frail, light burden, but I wasn't sure how long I'd last after moving all the boards.

[[Warning] - The heat of your current environment has caused you to earn the state: [Heat Exhaustion]. This state will cause your stamina to drain quickly, and a deadly sleepiness to occur. Ignore this warning at your own risk. This state can only be relieved in a cooler environment. If you continue to expose yourself to heat, this will progress to [Heat Stroke].]

My [First Aid] skill informed me I did not want to suffer [Heat Stroke].

"Let's GO!" I yelled, the hot air scorching my gills. We needed to move. We were almost there. Two more wagons and we'd be at Ash’s maganical carriage.

I watched my stamina bar drain and my [Heat Exhaustion] timer tick down.

Some of us weren’t going to make it.

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 2: To [Cheat Death]

I bolted to the next caravan, dodging the carcass of one of the oxen. My feet pounded against the sand in tune with my heartbeat. A pebble hit my shoulder. I tried to stay focused as three leaves splattered into the other ox. It gave a wufflely groan as it died. My heart raced.

A rock flew past my face.

As I slid across the last yard, a leaf hit my back and sliced against my shoulder blade. It stung, but as I breathed heavily underneath my new shelter, I knew it was superficial.

"Good job, Cole!" Ash yelled, giving me a big thumbs up.

I quickly started reaching up from under the wagon to pull the first board out of the cargo bed. Thankfully a leaf must have cut through the tie-downs, as a few of the boards had bounced out a few feet. The wood was long and wide, meant to build up clean stall fronts for the merchants. The wagon had been specialty built for the traveling shopkeepers. I tried not to think about how they were likely dead. No one had been under this wagon when I slid in.

Ash had told me he needed three to four boards. I wrapped my fingers experimentally around the top one and lifted. It gave, but I grunted with the effort as it shimmied out. My body was shielded by the board, but my hands were exposed to the hazardous rain. I prayed to the Everbear silently that I wouldn’t lose a finger.

Pausing, realization hit that this wasn’t going to be straightforward. The bodies of the oxen sat motionless and sad between me and the rest of the party.

Sweat dripped off my forehead as I strained to tip the wood sideways and arced the board across the ox’s horns. The board balanced as I pushed it forward until most of the eight-foot board was on Ash's side and I lost leverage on it.

Tandy shimmied out from under their wagon, Richard still wrapped around her head like an unwanted headdress. She grabbed the base and pulled it towards the party. A rock hit Richard hard enough to brain Tandy. The slug, however, just squeaked and looked a little dazed.

A leaf flew past my face, and I realized I wasn't as covered as I'd been with the six inch wide board above my head. Stepping back, I readied myself to grab the next board.

All of it went smoothly until I tried to grab the final board for Ash's plan.

I pulled, but the board was stuck. It was wedged between whatever else was in the back of the wagon. I pulled, expecting it to slide out like the others had. Instead, it stuck firm, and I fell forward. My hands slammed into the sand, and my body followed right into one of the aspen leaves sticking up from the ground.

The leaf slid into my chest like a heated knife through butter.

It hurt, and unthinkingly, I pushed up, forgetting everything I'd learned about puncture wounds. The leaf pulled out, and I ducked back into the wagon.

"Are you okay?" Tandy called over the pelting debris.

"I'm fine!" I lied. There wasn't anything she could do, and although blood stained the front of my shirt, there wasn't anything anyone could safely do until I pulled the wood out. I gripped it with my hands, and this time I tried wiggling it back and forth. With a grunt of pain, my pec muscle twinged. The board slid forward an inch, then two.

I stopped and took a moment to remove the bloody leaf from the ground in case I tripped.

Gripping the board, I wiggled it again. Inch by inch. With my heart thumping in my ears, I felt the slow ooze of blood.

My stamina bar was tanking, but this had to be done. With the board loosening, I made eye contact with Ash.

"Are you ready?" I yelled.

Ash looked up from the board he was working on, confused.

"For what?"

I figured he was ready enough and put every ounce of strength I had shoving forward. Just as I got my legs behind me to push, my arm cramped.

Shit.

The board shot loose, and as my arm gave, went sideways off the tip of the ox's horn. It hit the metal rim of the wagon wheel and skittered to the right of their wagon, lying ominously in the sand.

I thought about running back across, but the intensity of the deadly hail had picked up. Three of us sat hunched under our respective wagons, uselessly scratching our heads. Tandy, however, was already moving. She'd gotten some of her ever-present rope out and had already lassoed an end. It glowed with her distinct golden magic, and when she threw it, it snaked magically around the wooden board.

She pulled it under their cover. The oxen blocked some of my view, but I could hear Ash hammering his idea together.

My gaze focused on our approaching doom. The sky had started to actually grow dark as the wind funnel had expanded. The perspective was odd. I couldn't decide if it was actually coming closer or simply growing towards us.

I've got a concussion, but even I know you should try putting pressure on that wound.

I looked down at the red splotch on my shirt. Apparently, as an [Adventurer] I needed to invest in stock in shirts. I ripped off my remaining sleeve and opened up the hole in my shirt further, ready to see the worst. The leaf had gotten me right below what my [First Aid] skill told me was my heart. I could breathe, so it hadn't made it to my lungs. Pawing at my chest, however, I couldn't find the wound.

I stretched my arm, trying to mimic the action that'd made it twinge earlier, and felt no additional pain. Checking my status, I received an unwelcome notification.

[[Cheat Death] has triggered. Your [Gelatinous] state and [Gelatinous Regeneration] have combined to form [Gelatinous Absorption]. This new skill grants some regeneration, but triples down on your [Gelatinous] nature, increasing resistance and healing from puncture wounds as they self-seal. You are less resistant to [Heat].]

[[Warning] - The heat of your current environment has caused you to earn the state: [Heat Cramps]. This state will cause unwanted and unanticipated cramping and can only be relieved by a cooler environment. If you continue to expose yourself to heat, this will progress to [Heat Exhaustion].]

[First Aid] triggered, and I realized water would help slow its progression. Grabbing my canteen from the tattered pack on my back, I started slurping down water. A timer had appeared in the corner, and even in the wagon’s shade, I only had about 2 hours before I was going to progress to [Heat Exhaustion]. I knew that death would be one of the next stages if I didn't figure out how to get out of the sun.

What was worse than any of the issues with the heat was that I'd already used my trump card, [Cheat Death]. It had a day-long cool down, and I'd used it by being clumsy, instead of battling the funnel of death headed our way.

Richard was right. I needed to get serious about training the skill. [Gelatinous Absorption] didn't seem too bad, even if it had upped my heat intolerance in the middle of the desert. That was probably just the [System] being a massive dick.

Tandy interrupted my thoughts, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

Blinking, I found my three friends holding up a wooden eight foot long shield above their heads. Ash had manufactured handles with his magic, and the whole shield looked reinforced.

Are you going to join us, or gawk all day?

Richard had come down from Tandy's head, his slime doing nothing to improve her new hairstyle. He sat with his fringe slowly tapping her shoulder as though he was impatient to hop back on me. I took one quick glance at the sky, realizing quickly there was no way to predict what was going to fall, and I put my life into luck and leaped across the small expanse, ducking so I didn't hit my head on the edge of the curved board.

My body felt an electric zap as I ducked under an invisible shimmer of silver magic.

Ash's face looked strained as he gave me a quick smile as I slotted in between him and Tandy. I held out a hand to Richard so he could rejoin me.

"I'm going to take us to the next wagon." Tandy didn't ask anyone's opinion. She just started shambling forward. I didn't have any handles to grab, so I just shuffled, trying to stay awkwardly in place between my two teammates.

Richard clung to my chest. His foot tickled as he slithered across my nonexistent abs. My chest was mostly bare between all the slices and wound care.

I can't find the injury.

I realized he'd been planning on gluing me back together again.

"There are none, I'm fine. Get on my shoulders."

How? Richard sounded almost drunk. He had to be [Concussed].

"I'll explain later." I waved his question away. There was no way I was going to explain [Gelatinous Absorption] or just how screwed I was without [Cheat Death] to a [Concussed] slug.

"If you're done talking to Richard, and you aren't injured, could you take my spot?" Ash asked meekly. He sounded tired. I looked back at him as Tandy slowed. His hands glowed silver as he imbued the wooden shield. I realized instantly that his power hadn't infused the makeshift shield but was an active power that drew energy from him.

"I've got it." I shuffled over, taking his place. Ash gave a relieved smile until we both saw Tandy's face.

"No one made it from this wagon, let's keep moving." Her shoulders slumped, and her face was oddly blank. I made the mistake of glancing over as we started marching past.

A wagon driver sat sightlessly staring into space as she still clutched her obviously deceased child to her chest.

I looked back at Meredeath, just to check. She gave a silent shake of her head. From the hardness in her eyes, I wasn't sure we were going to run into many survivors.

The next three wagons were equally depressing. The fourth, however, gave me hope.

Desk of Reck - Let's Go!!!

Just posted Stumbling Up 2's first chapter, "Of all the Leaves." We pick up almost where we left off with [Your Mom's Party]. They're leaving the hunt, in the middle of the desert on the way back to Eddie's Mill when... disaster strikes.

I'm going to minimally keep posting W, F, Sun... but the reality is, I'd like to launch these chapters much quicker - so buckle up, you're going to get them almost as soon as the ink dries.

Feedback on this first chapter is critical, because it's the hook -- So if you've got an opinion please share!

Stumbling Up 2 has got some surprises in store, and for those that are hoping Cole progresses a bit more - I think you'll find that solidifying his why is going to help push him forward. Maybe. As long as he doesn't screw it up...

I'll also be featuring some art from Morpheuz that will be part of the Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression physical and digital book. Morpheuz has done a great job bringing Richard alive - and we're working on colorizations here in the future.

Thanks for reading, and enjoy the new chapters!

Reck

Stumbling Up 2: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 1: Of all the Leaves

Why do we always have to be the rearguard? I'm tired of eating dust.

I ignored the mouthy slug. He loved the heat. I, however, was covered in dust, and melting in the sun. My [Gelatinous] nature did not stand up to the dry, hot air.

A faint breeze tugged at my head wrap. I lifted my eyes, the sun beat down overhead. The morning breeze had died hours ago, and it was too early for the evening fugue.

I scanned the shimmering horizon.

"Do you see what I'm seeing?" I asked, my legs dangling off the back of the wagon.

A twist of sand. I squinted, shading my eyes. Blinking, I tried to wave away the image like it was a heat-induced hallucination.

We need to sound the alarm.

Richard's words snapped me out of my delusion.

Standing to get a better view, I clutched the sideboards. A gust of wind whipped against my back, evaporating some of the pooled sweat. I shivered at the sudden coolness.

In the distance, a red funnel scoured the desert.

A flash of brown brushed my outstretched arm. A leaf? I looked down to see blood welling up along a faint line. Suddenly, a gust of air hit from the opposite direction, and I felt like I'd walked into an invisible spiderweb. Searing pain sliced through my face as the leaf flashed in my vision violently then retreated on another current of air.

"Sound the ALARM!" I shouted. My driver turned to give me a wide-eyed stare. Blood dripped off my nose as it pooled above my eyebrows. Damn head wounds.

"Richard, I think I need some help." Dazed, I sagged against the sideboard, my hand unsure where to stanch the flow of blood.

Deep blows from the driver's horn put a smile on my face. At least he listened. My hand fell from the wound as the oxen slowed to a halt. My vision pulsed with the throbbing of my head.

The wagoner cried out. I turned too quickly, the world spinning for a moment. Red blood splashed into the sand as one ox had taken a hit. It collapsed as the long score had hit the beast's jugular. The warning bellow of the horns grew more frantic.

Richard still focused his eyestalks on the distant swirl of sand.

"Help, you useless slimeball!" As I said the words, I knew I should act. I rifled through my pack, looking for my first-aid kit.

We are so screwed.

Another leaf tore at my exposed back. How deep was the cut? My hands moved mechanically, searching, as I blinked, trying to clear my vision from the thickening blood. My [First Aid] skill kicked in. I should use my head wrap as a bandage.

Distantly, I was aware that the entire caravan had ground to a halt as I unwrapped my head.

Let me help.

Richard's wet body suddenly clamped onto my neck as he slimed over my hair, creaming across my face.

"What the hell?" I muttered, sounding drunk, as the fringe of his curtain quivered past my nose. The ache in my head faded as the numbing property of his blue, gluey slime took over.

Richard sat on my head like a yellow skullcap.

The throbbing continued to recede as I numbly watched the wind funnel approach slowly. A frantic corner of my mind screamed at me to take cover, but I felt like I was underwater, each movement slowed and muted.

Tandy jogged up, looking at the oxen.

"What's going on, Cole?" Tandy asked, her face wrapped in concern.

"I-I don't know." The words were untrue, but I didn’t want to admit my guess. My eye had caught the culprit of my injury, embedded in the sand. A single, triangular serrated leaf.

My wagoner, Leni, had joined us. A portly man, who sold spelled sachets for smelly adventurers and weary travelers.

"I saw something brown. Maybe a leaf?" Leni added, confirming my worst fear. "Don't know why there’d be a leaf in the desert."

My mind raced. It wasn't just any leaf. It was a Heltenic aspen leaf, I was sure.

Blood sprayed Tandy as Leni crumbled. Tandy cried out, I couldn't tell if the blood was only Leni's.

Take cover! Richard used his team-speak ability.

I woozily jumped down and started pulling Leni under the wagon. Tandy joined me, pulling hard at Leni's motionless body as another leaf fell in the sand to the right of us. I tugged at Leni, trying not to look too closely at the bloody spot on his chest. We had to get to safety, and then I'd deal with the injury.

[Your Mom's Party] had been relegated to guarding the rear of the caravan chain, a fat lot of good we'd done. Ash ran up to the wagon followed by Meredeath, walking.

Wordlessly, Ash slotted in, taking Leni's feet as we all heaved. Meredeath stood looking at us, shaking her head.

“Meredeath, help!” Tandy called out, but the [Death Knight] bent low in the sand, carefully picking up one of the offending leaves.

With a couple of heaves, we got Leni under the wagon without Meredeath's help.

Tandy moved quicker than I, even with blood streaming down her own face. She took a wad of cloth and pressed it into Leni's wound. The man didn't twitch.

"Ash, grab my pack," I commanded as I turned to Leni. He looked almost peaceful unconscious.

I lifted an eyelid.

A glassy, fixed pupil stared at me sightlessly.

Bending down, I put my ear to his chest as Tandy tore away his shirt trying to find the wound.

It was too late.

I waited, watching Tandy as I kept my ear to his nose, waiting for a sign of life.

Richard clung to my head, numbing my pain.

You can't save everyone. Focus on Tandy.

"Tandy, you're hurt too? Ash, where's my pack?" I had a job to do. Tandy looked up at me, her eyes frantic. My heart clenched as the words froze in my gut.

"He's dead," Meredeath said with eerie certainty. The goth had struggled in the heat and sand, her mood souring daily as her black aesthetic took a beating in the desert. She held up the leaf carefully, all her grumpiness fading into the business of the situation. "What the fuck is this?"

I opened my tin containing strips of plantain.

Let me eat that. Richard interrupted my plans.

"Eat it? It's for her wound," I said quietly, as the cut on Tandy's scalp oozed blood. I could see that a swath of her braid had been cut away.

I have an [Imbue Slime] skill that will magnify the herb. I just want to use it on you first, then I'll get Tandy.

I couldn't argue. Richard chewed on the small stack of dried plantain I fed him. As he munched on it, he drug his undercarriage across my wound, his slime glowing a soft blue as the skin on my scalp pulled together.

Meredeath tapped the leaf with a finger, it made an almost metallic tink, which confirmed my identification.

"That's an aspen leaf," I said as Richard undulated down my arm towards Tandy.

"Man, I've seen a lot of aspens in my time, and that is not from a trembling aspen." Ash took the leaf from Meredeath carefully. Testing the edge of the leaf, he cut a thin line on his finger.

"It's a Heltenic aspen leaf. The trees are nasty creatures that have come over the mountains. Dad used to tell stories about the early settlement days, and everyone banding together to take out a copse. Hell, I think, Leo—" My heart panged. I swallowed the knot in my throat. "—had to deal with a few as part of the lumberjack crew." The foresters had to keep up with any infestation, harmless at first they became deadly during a drought. The serrated edges hardened into razor-thin flying disks of death in the wind.

"We're a long way from the Heltenic forests..." Tandy's voice trailed off as Richard creamed her head, releasing plantain-infused blue slime.

Tandy reached forward and took the leaf from Ash, carefully pinching it between two fingers. She grimaced as she held it, the barbed sides of the leaf biting into her hand. Dried like this, the leaves were little thorny portends of doom. Various people had tried to weaponized them over the years, to their own detriment.

"I didn't think there was a drought this year." Tandy looked at me with concern. A swarm of these leaves could take out an entire village.

"Things seemed wet enough when we left." A glob of Richard's leftover slime picked that moment to slither down her face. We both had the same thought: if these were loose in the desert, was Woodsten okay? Suddenly, our return home had an urgency to it.

A thunk sounded from the wagon bed above our heads. Maybe we should focus on surviving today, then worry about Woodsten.

I risked sticking my head out from under the wagon, my scalp pulled as I frowned. The caravan was devastated. A couple of the oxen had panicked as their peers fell victim to the leaves and bolted aimlessly into the desert only to get hit themselves. I could see several people hunkering down under wagons, as lost as we were.

Meanwhile, the funnel cloud had only grown bigger. It wasn't just leaves hitting the sand, but pebbles and rocks. In the distance, I could see cacti caught in the whirlwind.

I think we're in trouble.

I ducked back as another leaf slammed into the ground inches away. I turned to find my three friends looking at me as though they expected me to know what to do.

My mouth was open, ready to deflect to Tandy when [Heartbeat] thrummed. I took a moment and looked at her. Blood caked on her hands, her braid hanging half shaved off, the slime slowly pulling her scalp back together. She looked lost.

"Let's work our way forward in the caravan, collecting who's left alive." It wouldn't solve our situation, but it'd give us a purpose while I frantically tried to think about what to do next. Tandy nodded, as though I'd provided the key to our survival.

"I think I can reinforce a shield for us if we can get a couple of boards out of that next wagon." Ash pointed to a wagon that'd been hauling lumber for some of the constructed stalls at the Hunt encampment.

It was a great idea and proved that we just needed a direction.

Taking a deep breath, I tried calming myself, yearning for the peace [Meditation] provided. Rocks and leaves hit the sand in a random pattern, like a chaotic hailstorm. I knew it was only going to get worse, we had to go now, or we were toast. My knuckles were white as they clutched the axle as I tried to build up my courage.

You've got this. Richard gave a rare nudge of encouragement, which only fueled the burbling fear that I absolutely did not have this.

Desk of Reck - Creative Health

Has it been a week already? It's been a busy couple of weeks for me, with activities ranging from the Newton Library Local Author day to meeting up with three members of the Cornucopia (Christina, Evan, and Lance), and completing a few more books for podcasts. It's been nice, needed.

I own an electric lawn mower these days, it's magic. No more uselessly yanking at the pull chain of a gas mower pretending like I'm not going to have to go in and get Jen to get it going. Sometimes writing feels like that. I had a podcast with Jay Krauss last night, and we talked about how a lot of the time being a writer is about managing your mental and creative health.

I think we all have some idea of managing our mental health, but creative health is different. I sat with one of the most prolific LitRPG authors today and Jay talked about the importance of not writing on the weekends, going on roadtrips with your spouse when you're stuck, and his ever growing list of ideas that we both know he'd have to be [Immortal] to finish.

So! Thank you for your patience. For this precious week, and I'll begin resuming Stumbling Up posts this Sunday... because sometimes you just need that grinding schedule of posts to keep you going (the grass has to get mowed eventually, right?).

I'm excited to get into book 2... here's a little promo teaser:

A leaf fell from the windy thermal it had floated on for miles and miles. Fall was coming, and stressed by a dry summer, the Heltenic aspen had given up its leaf early, and angrily. Which is possibly why it fluttered down, aimed at a lonely caravan.

Drought had caused it to fall, tumbling and slicing through the rising warm air. But the constant beat of heat and wind had hardened it well beyond a normal biological edge. Loneliness had tipped its tremble toward a new master.

Cole sat on the back of the wagon, with a desert wrap protecting his gills and lungs from the dust. As always, he and Richard had taken up the rearguard position. Squinting at the miraging horizon, he cursed as a drop of sweat stung his eyes.

We need to sound the alarm.

Cole blinked, staring at what Richard had seen. A swirl of dust that he'd taken as yet another sun induced illusion. A breeze tugged at his head wrap, it was unusual at midday. The sweat on his back had started to evaporate, sending a cool shiver across his body.

Turning to yell the alarm, a stray leaf fell out of the sky, slicing across his face. Bright red splashed across Cole's clothes as he watched the journey of the leaf end as it fell to the sand.

"Sound the ALARM!" Cole yelled, his words emphasized by the blood splashed against his clothes. Tandy looked back from her middle point, eyebrows dark, until she spotted Cole.

The only one keeping an eye on the caravan's approaching doom was Richard. He clung to Cole's shoulders, eyestalks glued to the approaching dust devil.

We are so screwed.

Desk of Reck - Jay Krauss Podcast tonight! 8pm CST

Join Jay and I as we talk about Shattered Smile, the art of Morpheuz, and the rumors that Jay is actually an android. The podcast will be 8pm EST on www.youtube.com/@chattinstats!

Desk of Reck - The End of Stumbling Up Book One

Wow... Book One is now in your Patreon inbox.

It's been a wild ride with Cole, Richard, Tandy, Leo, and Meredeath, hasn't it? I don't think I could have imagined where this book went when I started it. How much Richard would worm his way into everyone's hearts. I've read the ending and tweaked it a dozen times at least, and it's still a gut punch.

When I started out writing this book, I knew I wanted to write a comedy, and I wanted to poke at this idea that LitRPG is just "number goes up." What I've found, and I kind of knew this about my writing, is that I can't just write a simple book. Emotional stakes will always be a part of my brand. Stick with Cole (and Richard), though, because who knows, maybe their wine cask scheme will work out.

What's next:

• The manuscript is over to Richey and Jessica for voice recording. Once I get a firm idea of when that's going to complete, I'll be putting up preorders on Amazon.

• I'm waiting for the final graphics for the cover and chapter art from Morpheuz - for those getting the digital copy... Once I get those... we'll be working on fulfilling and getting your digital copies out.

• Physical copies will follow based on printing timelines. If you're at a donation level that gets a physical copy - if I don't have your address already, I'll be working to make sure we have that and will get those out to you.

• I'm going to take a week off of posting on RR and here for Stumbling Up. I'll be sharing some short stories from my backlog... but then we'll get back into it with Stumbling Up book 2.

• IMPORTANT: Stumbling Up will have to Stub off of Royal Road (be taken down) a couple weeks before the amazon release (likely mid-November). So make sure if you've got any friends you want to pick it up for free... get them on Royal Road now.

• Bonus chapters - There are about 6-7 bonus chapters that are not making it into the final cut of Stumbling Up on Amazon - but those will be available for free to read on my website (and I'll be working with Richey and Jessica to make audio available at a small cost on the website as well)

• Always looking for feedback - and the transition to book 2 is a good moment - so if you've got any feedback for me on patreon and posting - please let me know (aka - more polls? less polls? higher post frequency? different format? different tier levels? more art? More podcasts? More live streams of writing on discord?). I can't promise I'll accommodate everyone, but feedback is a gift.

Thank you for coming on this journey with me! I appreciate having all of you on this journey!

-Reck

Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 71: Aftermath

Our exit from the Ceaparean Drift was uneventful. No bandits bothered us on the first leg of the caravan.

Tandy and I mourned the breakup of our trio. For all my resolve that my version of an [Adventurer] was right, it still hurt that Leo had turned right when I went left at the fork in the road.

We headed back east. Maybe not to Woodsten, not without Leo. How could we have explained his absence?

We were moving slowly, stopping at the small towns that peppered the western expanse.

Every time we entered a town, Tandy would pick up minor quests at the Adventurer’s Guild.

Tandy would wake up early and hit the quest board. Meredeath and I weren’t naturally early risers, and Ash didn’t seem to care.

I don’t think anyone would have trusted me to pick up the quests anyway. I sure didn’t.

Tandy had changed. Instead of late nights, she tortured herself by getting up at the crack of dawn. She’d go into the courtyard, or step away from camp, and practice. Over and over.

I’d been cursed with a lethargy that sucked any will to practice. I barely got up for breakfast unless I was in charge of the meal. Ironic that the thing I enjoyed the most was cooking.

Today, however, we'd found a cheap inn that included a basic breakfast for all. I was going to skip it, but the window in our room sent a shaft of light right onto my pillow.

So I was up and being served watery eggs by the time Tandy'd returned. I thanked the server, trying not to let my expression give away my opinion of the soggy food. Even the potato hash looked burned. I absentmindedly pushed both around on my plate, trying to work up the courage to eat either.

Meredeath would be down in a bit—or wouldn't. She really wasn't a fan of mornings.

Ash slid into the booth. "Where's Richard?"

I glanced up, wincing as I put a forkful in my mouth. At least it wasn’t cold. I swallowed, like the eggs were a shot of shitty vodka. "He's finding his own breakfast."

I wasn't really embarrassed that Richard dumpster dived for breakfast, but every time I'd admitted the fact to someone new, they always gave him the poor Richard routine as though I didn’t feed him proper food. The slug preferred compost and trash.

Ash signaled that he wanted his own plate of underachieving eggs and looked at me with the eyes of a man with a thousand questions. I didn't regret inviting Ash onto our team. I really didn't. His skills had saved us a dozen times already. Nothing about him was particularly objectionable. He just wouldn't stop talking.

"How did you sleep?" Ash asked, and without waiting for a reply, continued. "I thought those beds were hard. However, I've found most beds to be hard since I've been here. I need to figure out an improvement, maybe a magical camping mat that repels bugs? I hate it when we're out on the trail and I wake up with bugs in my bedroll. How're the eggs?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but he overrode me again. "They look good, like they've got real herbs in them."

I forked some more into my mouth, swallowing quickly. They were getting cold. If these were good to Ash, I shudder to think how bad the food in his world had been. "I miss orange juice. You all don't seem to have it."

"What's orange juice?" I asked, taking a mouthful of the cool minty tea they'd served with the eggs.

"Oh, uh. It's juice made from oranges."

"The color?" I took another bite. I loved doing this to the guy. There seemed to be a lot about his world that he'd never really thought about. He was so earnest, too. He never caught on that I was ribbing him.

Kind of like Leo.

Ugh.

Leo was walking his own path. Death and glory, shiny armor and riches. Every once in a while, we’d hear some rumor of Leo Patch the [Paladin of the Hunt]. He was making a name for himself. The Beast Slayer, they called him.

I poked at the eggs on my plate, moving them around.

We’d found a couple lost children, defended a caravan from bandits, and escorted a herdsman to their summer pastures. They weren’t big jobs, but they were important.

I’d rather be an Andrew Ashborn, [Wayfinder] for the Lost, than Leo Patch, The Beast Slayer.

I still couldn’t shake the sense that Leo was lost. That we’d find him. Fix this.

"No, it's a fruit called an orange because it's well, orange. It's a citrus fruit, like lemons but much sweeter. It was common for us to have fresh orange juice as part of our breakfast." The server delivered Ash's plate. His eggs were a little overcooked, looking almost rubbery.

"So, you have orange trees in your yard, and you make fresh orange juice every morning?" I knew it was unlikely. From all the things Meredeath had told me, they lived in cities where no one farmed their own food.

It'd always sounded a little odd to me, but there was much about their world I couldn't imagine.

Ash had turned pink at my question. "Um, no, the fresh orange juice comes from a carton." I frowned. What was a carton? Sensing this, he rushed his explanation. "It's like a box that you keep liquid in, but it's small. We can buy them at the store. They're made of, um, like magically bound wood chips. But instead of magic, it's glue."

My eyebrows raised, and I tried imagining a rectangular wine barrel full of fruit juice with floating woodchips. They must really enjoy orange juice.

"We used to put the images of missing kids on milk cartons," Ash continued.

I tried imagining a wine cask with the image of a lost child, but I failed. What a strange memorial for a child.

"How's breakfast?" Tandy interrupted my thoughts, scooting onto the bench across from me.

I moved over for a trailing Meredeath. Tandy always dragged Meredeath out of bed before giving us the mission details. Meredeath poured herself a cup of tea, holding the cup between her fingers as though it were the only thing keeping her alive.

Tandy scanned the table, grimacing as she examined the quality of our 'free' breakfast.

“Maybe we shouldn't prioritize the 'breakfast included' inns,” Meredeath said, looking at our meals. “The last three have been really terrible.”

I nodded heartily in agreement.

"Yeah, we can look into it, but it has saved us a lot of money," Tandy countered.

My eyes swung over to Tandy, frowning. I hated when she was right.

Then I saw it.

A ghostly smudge of powdered sugar at the corner of her mouth. She'd gotten a pastry for breakfast. This, our penny-pinching leader, had skipped the crappy eggs and spent our hard-earned money on a pastry.

I eyed her. "That's easy for you to claim. Since you don't eat breakfast, right?" That'd been her excuse for months. She wasn't a “fan” of breakfast food.

With a smile, I reached across the table and dabbed at the corner of her mouth with my napkin. Ash looked confused, but Meredeath read the room.

"You've been sneaking out to buy pastries?" Tandy was unwilling to meet any of our eyes until Meredeath let her off the hook. "Without me? I'd get out of bed for a good donut hole."

"That’s what he said," Ash trailed off as we looked at him.

His goofy grin was infectious. We all burst out laughing. It felt good to laugh.

Tandy was going to have a lot more company in the mornings when the inn’s food was suspect.

"Alright, back to business, everyone. We've got a quest. There's a missing kid, and we've got to find him." Tandy's words brought us all back to reality. "The kid's friends admitted to daring him to go into what the locals call the Slime Cavern. Our job is either to pull him out or confirm his fate."

I cringed at the euphemism. We all knew what confirm his fate meant, and it wasn't anything good. Ash's face turned green. He really wasn't cut out for the [Adventurer's] life, the kid had such a weak constitution for the reality of death.

"If he's passed, maybe we can have Ash paint him onto a wine barrel." Everyone stared at me as if I'd grown horns. Even Ash. I waved at Ash. "Like your milk carton graves, Ash. It'd be nice."

Ash stared at me for once at a loss for words. He mouthed the words milk carton graves.

"You said your people put images of missing kids on milk cartons, right? We don't have these milk boxes, but we've got wine casks."

He gave a long, “Ohhhhh.” Meredeath clutched her stomach as she laughed. Tandy and I just sat, missing the joke.

Tears streaming down his face, Ash just choked out, "No, I think we're okay. We'll let the family handle the grave."

“What am I missing?” I asked, confused by these off-worlders.

“The kids on the cartons are presumed missing, not dead,” Ash explained. “They’re not graves. They’re made with the assumption that it’ll work out and they’ll find their way home. It’s possible the kid’s just run away and needs a reminder that they’re missed.”

Huh. How optimistic.

“More likely they’re kidnapped. Or dead.” Typical Meredeath commentary.

Ash’s interpretation sat with me. This idea that a kid could run away and just needed a reminder they were missed. Maybe we should put Leo on a wine cask or two.

“Enough of milk cartons, let me share the quest,” Tandy cut in.

[Local Quest: Slime Cavern Rescue

The populace at Hunt's Rest has issued an Adventurer Quest to search the Slime Cavern for Raif Leais, a 10-year-old child of the village. If found alive, recover the child and return him to the parents. If dead, return with news of Raif's death and any belongings recovered. Reward: 5 gold, potential other rewards depending on quest criteria fulfillment.]

There it was. The duty of an [Adventurer]. I’d thought about going home a lot these last couple of months, but if I did, who was going to save this kid?

It sure wasn’t going to be Leo.

Not today, anyway.

I set down my fork.

“You all ready?” I asked. A twinge of excitement threaded through my chest. It was time to save a kid.

A slime cavern? Did you guys pick this quest just for me?

Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 70: Bruised

The water hit hard.

It was a nightmare as the hot water rubbed us against the slot canyon walls like a washboard from hell.

I felt Richard glue himself to my shoulders. I wasn’t afraid of drowning. My [Gills] loved the hot water after days in the desert air. I could breathe, but not much else. My stamina bar was draining dramatically as I tried to fight the current.

I shot through narrow slots in the canyon. My shoulder slammed into a wall. Friction scraped the skin off my knee.

I desperately tried to keep Tandy, Meredeath, and Ash in view.

A knuckle of the canyon bent to the left. Suction pulled me into an errant eddy. I found myself trapped in a whirlpool vortex. It outstripped the tidemaw’s death throes in violence as I spun around like a rag doll.

Do something! I'm going to be sick!

My body twisted, the pressure pulling at my [Gelatinous] nature, but suction prevented me from breaking free. The only counterforce was my hammer at my hip. Its weight dragged me down.

I caught a flash of black in the chaos. Meredeath was trapped too. Her brilliant green eyes flared with magic. She flailed, losing the same fight with our watery foe.

She didn't have gills to survive. Several seconds passed. As my body tossed, I watched Meredeath in the chaos.

[Guardian’s Promise] pinned me to the floor as water and debris tore at my body. Helpless, I watched Meredeath’s desperate struggle.

Ash and Tandy bumped into our hell, but the current stripped them away immediately. Apparently, this vortex was full.

An iron tree guard slammed into the wall next to us. Limbs flailing, the current took it downstream too. I didn't bother trying to break free. All I could think about was Meredeath.

I saw the moment she gave up. She looked down, her green eyes flaring one last time as she slowly closed them. She mouthed the words Sorry, Cole as though she owed it to me to survive.

I unclipped [Guardian's Promise]. Leaving it, I kicked off from the floor. My shoulder hit Meredeath hard. Richard took the brunt of the impact.

Oof, you could warn a slug.

The vortex flung us sideways. I twisted, trying to get an arm around her.

Oddly, my body resisted. I felt weighed down as awkward as a misshapen snail.

I've got her. Get us out of here!

I loved that gods-be-damned slug. He’d glued us together!

I spun slower in the vortex with the increased mass. Aiming my feet, I kicked against the wall. I could see a break in the funnel keeping us in place.

My hand passed through. The suction pulled us back.

A golden light grew in my vision. Silver snaked through it. Tandy and Ash.

A rope passed through my hand. I grabbed on with all my strength.

Immediately the rope snapped taut. We were yanked out of the whirlpool.

I'd been so focused on freeing us, I hadn't prepared for re-entry into the current. We slammed into a wall. Sandstone scraped at my back as water grated us against the side of the canyon.

My hands, raw, clenched on the rope. I held on, unable to protect my body.

It pulled us in like a fishing line. To what? Safety? Would it be in time for Meredeath? Could Richard’s [Glue] hold?

The flash flood slowed as the canyon opened up.

Meredeath and Richard broke the surface of the river. My head was still under water. My [Gills] worked overtime. I kicked in the direction we were being pulled. Anything to help.

This was it.

Something grabbed my foot.

The immediate tension threatened to rip me in two. Something in my abdomen ripped. [Gelatinous] was great when getting stabbed, but not so much under torque.

Looking down, I saw a leafy, fibrous hand latched onto my foot.

An iron tree guard gave me a barky, demonic smile. The tree pulled at my leg. My calf muscle stretched unnaturally.

Could I hold on, or would I be ripped in two? Letting go would doom Meredeath. She couldn’t survive the soup unconscious. Even if [Cheat Death] triggered, I was pretty sure I’d lose my grip on our lifeline.

I kicked at the tree appendage. The boot slapped ineffectually against the bark.

My stamina was dropping dramatically. Every muscle was tensed just to hold my body together.

The rope went slack. Our anchor had given way.

I was in the middle of the iron tree guard. It had won the tug-of-war match.

The maw of the beast was close. Fuck this. I hoped it choked on me.

It tried to snake an arm around my waist. I kicked out, surprising us both as my boot went into its maw. I stomped down. My heel connected on the back of the beast's throat.

The monster, shocked, gagged and let go of us.

The current whipped it away. The rope I desperately clung to went tight again.

When my head breached the surface, I saw Tandy and Ash at the other end of the rope. I saw safety.

They'd pulled themselves into an oversized alcove just barely big enough for the four of us. Ash had braced himself against a ledge that looked human-made. He was using his magic to bolster Tandy's. They’d reeled us in like a legendary catch.

Ash immediately took Meredeath. He worked on clearing her lungs while Tandy took charge of me.

“I’m fine. Really,” I said as she inspected me. My health and stamina were almost nothing. My abs and calf ached. I was raw and bruised, but the only thing broken was my heart.

She bought the lie, giving me an awkward hug before turning her attention to Meredeath.

The water was still rising. It was only a foot away from our cubby. We weren't out of it yet. But as I breathed in genuine air, I couldn’t bring myself to think. To move. I was safe.

Be glad one of us has a brain.

Richard was still problem-solving. He started running a line of slime across the front of the alcove. It’d built up two inches already. A slimy barrier to the encroaching water. Would that even work?

I sagged against the wall, unable to bring myself to ask.

[Skill Acquired: You have gained the [Dead Wrong] skill, [Not Today]. Death may be a constant companion, but not when you need to live to save your friends. Gain [+25%] Stamina, Health, and Mana for [5 minutes] when trying to save another's life.]

Considering all the losses, the [System] notification seemed like a cruel joke.

[Gelatinous Regeneration] kicked in. My body pulled uncomfortably as it glued me back together.

Meredeath coughed, a gush of water coming from her mouth.

Good.

I laid my head back against the sandstone. I could let go.

Darkness took me.

The flood lasted for hours, but eventually it receded. We soggily trod back to the campsite.

Tandy was worried about Leo. I probably would have been too if I hadn’t been so tired.

Darkness had fallen, and each step grated at the raw blisters on the bottom of my feet. My damaged calf made me limp. Step after slow step.

Richard huddled close. His slime barrier had saved us. The flood crested a good foot higher than the floor of our cavern. His sticky barricade had worked.

Even Ash was quiet, which I didn't think possible.

Meredeath leaned on him. She was still in shock from the near drowning.

I haven't looked forward to a bedroll more in my entire life. Even during harvest season. I’d never hurt this much.

The lights of the Ceaparean Drift Hunt staging ground were a sweet balm to my weary soul. The flood hadn’t affected them. Most of the water just fed the Tigra. A few teams gave us sympathetic looks as we staggered past their campgrounds.

Tandy stopped to ask a few times if anyone had seen a tall, blond-haired new [Paladin]. She got only shrugs in reply. Her description matched a third of the Hunt participants.

We figured out Leo's fate when we made it to our site.

Tandy's hammock swung in the night breeze. My bedroll lay next to our cooking pots. Meredeath's charcoal pack was tied neatly to a tree.

But Leo's laundry that had been drying on a line was gone, along with his pack and bedroll. The only evidence that he'd been there was a neatly folded pink sweater left on Tandy's pillow.

I fell asleep to Tandy's sniffles that night.

I only saw Leo once in the ensuing days.

The Hunt included multiple days and objectives. [Your Mom's Party] didn't bother taking part in anything else.

We were just biding our time waiting for everything to end. Tandy had made a deal with a merchant. We'd be guards for them as they made their way back to the Eastern frontier.

I'd been buying sweetmeats from a kebab vendor when I saw him.

He stood tall, straw hair tousled waving in the breeze. He had new armor on, with even bigger shoulder pads. It gleamed in the sun. Leo looked like a full [Paladin]. He'd been walking with two friends, decked out in slightly less impressive armor. They looked to be some sort of nobles with noses in the air as they scanned the vendors.

His ‘friends’ commented about how the Hunt had gone downhill, all the country bumpkins had come in to watch this year.

Leo's eyes met mine. I stood frozen, kebab in one hand, juices dripping down my arm. Bruised and scraped, I looked a mess. I did not belong here, just as his sneering companions suggested.

I smiled with a polite nod, trying to bridge the gap between us. He frowned.

Leo hesitated for a fraction of a second before dismissing me with cold eyes as they bounced to the next stranger in the crowd.

He may be a [Paladin] now, but I was an [Adventurer]. I stood a little straighter. A country boy, sure, but one that’d fight a dungeon for a missing girl, feed a house full of orphans, help a [Lich] hold the line, and cut the line to let the [King of the River] go.

I was Cole Moldboard Thornsfield. No one was going to write a story about me, but that was okay. What I was doing was still worthwhile.

I watched as his broad back receded.

He didn't look back once.

I didn’t either.

Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 69: Heartbreak

Why am I only the ‘boss’ when things are going wrong?

Richard sent me a rudimentary image. I didn’t even know he could do that.

The Legendary Rock Mistress we'd been following joined a whole swarm of butterflies over a crystalline pool. They were beautiful, and exactly what I didn’t want Leo to see.

Shit.

“I’m not sure there’s…” I didn’t want to lie outright to my team. I grasped at anything. “There’s not much point in going over there. Seems like it's a dead end,” I finished lamely. I was not quick-witted like Tandy in these situations.

Tandy caught my eye and gave me a what's going on look.

How much damage could a little butterfly do?

Leo had stopped digging and had sat back on his haunches, covered in gritty mud. Meredeath and Ash were leaning against the rock, trying to help Richard climb down.

There wasn't an easy way to tell Tandy what was going on, so I just shared the text of my quest with her. I should have done it earlier, but I’d just wanted a little bit of the adventure for myself, and I was afraid of Leo’s reaction.

Tandy's eyes went distant as she read the pop-up. I walked over to Leo, offering my canteen to help clean off his hands.

With the angle and direction of the canyon, the dregs of the afternoon sun beat down on us. We had four or five hours of sunlight left.

"What do you say we go back to that tributary canyon and look?" I tried to make small talk, but Leo looked pretty down.

He waved off my canteen and just sat in the mud. "Yeah, we can." He hadn't raised his downcast face, and from his agreeable words, I got the impression it was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Come on. You didn't think this was going to be as easy as 'follow the path' directly to the monster we're supposed to kill, did you?" I felt like a jerk.

I idly watched Richard pretend he couldn't climb down the sandstone as Meredeath and Ash tried to figure out how to climb up and reach him. At the moment, Ash had gone down on all fours so Meredeath could step on his back and get closer to Richard.

Leo looked up at me now, his hazel eyes squinting in the sun. "I didn't, but I did. This new class I've got, [Provisional Paladin of the Hunt], it calls to me. I thought that if it was truly meant to be, then it’d be easy. My instincts would pull me to one of these beasts. That this was my moment."

I felt terrible. He was so genuine that hiding the Rock Mistress felt like I was kicking a puppy. I knew what he was feeling because I felt the same about my quest line. I glanced at Tandy, who was still deep in her notifications, a dark frown painted on her face.

"The day's not done yet. You still have time to find one of the Legendary Beasts. Or we could find success on some other sort of hunt? Maybe one that's less impressive, that doesn't involve mythical creatures?" I tried. The betrayal burned in my chest.

Leo stood, nodding. "Yeah, you're right. Even if I don't get to keep this class, there will be other opportunities." His words agreed with me, but from the slump of his shoulders, I could tell he didn't really believe it.

"Wait, what do you mean even if you don't get to keep this class?" Tandy asked, joining the conversation.

"Didn't I tell you? This is a one-time opportunity. The quest for the class is limited to this [Raid]. Apparently, that's why there's so many hunters this time. They said the last time the Patroness of the Hunt put a call forth like this was over a hundred years ago. If I don't hunt down at least one of these Beasts, then the class won't stick." He had mentioned this being a unique opportunity, but I did not know it was that exclusive.

Tandy looked at me, pinning me in place with judgement. Shame colored my cheeks. I bent down, picking up a pebble. Looking over, Ash was now on Meredeath's shoulders, hands reaching out for Richard, who was still several feet away.

I met Tandy’s gaze. I could read her mind. Why did you make me part of this deception? I could see it in the absolute disgust on her face. I was a worm wriggling on the street after a long rain, and one of the local kids had handed me to her—rubbery, squirmy, insignificant. Every bit of that smallness sank into my chest.

[Skill Downgrade: [Heart] has downgraded to [Heartbeat]. While you can understand the link between your party members, you no longer embody the responsibility of that understanding.]

No matter what I did, I wasn’t winning in this scenario.

Regardless of my quest, however, I couldn’t bring myself to regret saving the Rock Mistress. The creature was beautiful, flickering in her domain. She hurt no one in this blasted maze of canyons.

Meredeath toppled over trying to reach Richard. She and Ash sat in the mud, realizing Ash sitting on her shoulders would not work either. Ash looked a little dazed, covered in wet, muddy sand.

"Richard, stop kidding around. Let's go!" I called up to my difficult friend. His tentacles, which had been waving happily in laughter, looked right at me, as though accusing me of spoiling his fun. "Get down here!" I wasn't in the mood for his antics.

He gave a slug equivalent of a sigh and started oozing his way forward, using his extra clingy slime to glue himself vertically as he inched down the rock. By the time he got to a grabbable height, Meredeath had crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a dark glare.

Turned out neither of us was going to be popular today.

I walked over, holding my hand out for Richard, who smugly slimed along my arm to his normal shoulder perch. "Why do you have to be such an ass?"

Why didn't you tell Leo the truth?

Touché.

Everyone got to their feet, and we began the trudge back. It shouldn't have felt like defeat. There was every reason to think that the side canyon still would deliver something, some sort of creature to make the journey worthwhile. Some hint of adventure, something to satisfy the ever-burning guilt in my chest.

A hunting horn sounded behind us, obviously on the other side of the boulder. My heart sank as Leo turned to look at me in disbelief.

"How could someone have found something back there?"

Richard didn't help. He retreated guiltily behind my neck.

I didn't know what to say. There weren't words that were going to make this better.

"Why?" The betrayal in his eyes burned in my memory.

My mind thrummed with words. It’s wrong to kill the Rock Mistress. This isn’t the way. But the words stuck in my chest. Coward. An ooze of slime dribbled down my back.

"He has a competing quest line. That's why he didn't tell you." Tandy found the words where I couldn't. Her explanation made me sound so selfish. Maybe I was.

More horns sounded.

Leo drew his axe. He stood tall, muscles flexed. Dust, sand, and sweat marred his new armor. He looked every bit the hero. Ready to spring into action.

"You betrayed me for a quest?" Leo's voice broke. He walked towards me, axe held out. For a moment, I wondered if he was going to use it on me. Anger flared in his eyes.

Before his rage, my reasoning was useless. This feeling of wrongness was inexplicable.

Tandy opened her mouth to deflect, to make an excuse for me. Anything to make it better. Leo's look made her mouth shut with a snap.

"I want to hear it from him."

There was nowhere to hide. No excuse to duck behind. Leo, big, lovable Leo, stood towering over me, a pinnacle of righteous rage. He’d been my best friend.

My body trembled. I clenched my muscles hard. My throat closed up. What could I say? Yes, I hid the legendary beast from you for my own personal gain? That killing the beast—the very quest we were on—felt wrong?

My mind raced, throwing all the reasons at his stony face.

I went with the only thing I could really say. "I'm sorry."

Even as I said it, I knew it wasn't enough. My apology was simply an admission of guilt. Not a reason for the betrayal. I’d dug the hole so fast.

He rounded on Tandy. "And you knew too? You knew the details of his quest?"

Tandy's eyes were wide. "I just found out. I..." Her voice trailed off. What could she say?

He turned back to me. "How long have you had this quest?"

"S-since I went fishing with Ash."

He rounded on Ash and Meredeath. Ash had shrunk back, displaying his own guilt by hiding behind Meredeath.

As for Meredeath, she stood firm, unintimidated. "I didn't know, if it makes you feel better." She stared him down, dark eyes unblinking.

It looked like Leo’d gained a battle rage [Berserker] skill. Something changed in him as his musculature grew. He turned his back on us and took large, sand-eating steps back toward the dead end we'd vacated.

Tandy and I looked at each other for a moment. Her face mirrored mine. Guilt and horror.

We followed our friend. Tandy had to jog to keep up.

"What are you going to do?" she called to Leo.

He jogged, ignoring us both. His axe swung freely as horns frantically blew. The fight with the creature had obviously begun and wasn’t going well.

Blasts of sound echoed off the canyon walls. A raven added its own caw to the cacophony. I looked up, seeing a lone raven perched on a ledge examining our party. Watching. Foretelling.

We got to the dead end, but Leo didn't stop. Instead, he swung his axe singing through the air.

“[Unstoppable],” he called. The axe hit the boulder, and half of it disintegrated in a shower of sand.

He’d used his rarest skill for a chance at the Rock Mistress.

Leo looked back at Tandy and me. My jaw was on the floor. I couldn't believe the power he'd just unleashed on the rock.

"The funny thing is, I'd been holding back for the two of you."

[Leo has left your party.]

He swung again, the second swing pulverizing the rest of the boulder as he strode forward in the dust. Leo joined the chaos of the Hunt.

The harried team waved him into the fight.

Leo took his axe, activating another skill as he swung. He joined the battle as a wave of energy hit the butterflies. They’d already been stunned by the blast of his entrance. Half fell from the sky. Leo began spinning and batting the creatures out of the air. Energy attacks flew from the other side of the canyon.

The resentment that had been building up over the Hunt drained out of me as he destroyed the Rock Mistress and her swarm. He was right. We'd been holding him back. Neither Tandy nor I could inflict that kind of carnage on a foe.

Leo deserved to be a proper hero. His build was fixed. If he hadn’t been [Broken] in the first place, he’d have been on Team Abs all along.

I couldn't look away from the slaughter. He was also wrong. This wasn’t how one ascended to the ranks of heroes.

Darts of magic picked off the magical butterflies from the other side of the canyon, relentlessly assassinating them while Leo swung the flat of his axe across the swarm.

The queen sat at the center of the horde. She was several times bigger than her harem. A bolt of orange magic shot from her. The assassin [Mage] cried out in pain. More than half of her swarm lay broken on the sand.

The queen turned towards Leo. Ten of the butterflies broke rank, formed into a wedge, and dive-bombed him from above. He laughed as he ignored the peppering magic bouncing off his armor.

I realized at that moment the truth of this Hunt. They were hunting the Rock Mistress not because she was difficult to kill, but because she was rare. This wasn’t a hunt for a marauding leviathan. This was a purposeful snuffing of a unique beast.

I watched in outrage as Leo realized the kill was available for taking. Several more parties had joined the fight, sending arrows and magic bolts at the swarm. It was only a matter of time before they hit her.

A resentment burned. This wasn’t why I’d become an [Adventurer], this wasn’t heroic. This was a slaughter for the sake of glory. They should have cut the line and let the Rock Mistress go.

With each moment, as the battle drew out, more of her swarm lay out on the red ground. Fragile wings broken. My anger blazed. I fed my shame and guilt to it.

Even so, I didn’t defend the creatures. How could I stand against a proverbial army of [Adventurers]? My hand tensed, knuckles white against the shaft of my hammer.

Leo took one last look at us and, with his maniacal, berserker grin, he turned back to the queen. He triggered his final skill and leaped. The air cracked with the velocity of his swing.

The Rock Mistress must have known her death was imminent as she triggered one last spell. A ball of blue light, too painful to look at, shot out at the ground as Leo's axe went straight through the legendary beast.

[You have failed to protect the legendary beast: [Rock Mistress of the Canyon]. Consequently, you lose 100 reputation points. Your reputation with legendary beasts has now dipped below 0 reputation points. You have lost [The Mercy Ledger: Beasts]. You have lost [Mark of Mercy]. You have lost [Thread of Mercy].]

A new shame burned in my chest. I should have acted.

The queen’s brilliant death pillar faded, leaving us with a monument of her life. A glass-tiled perfect hole sat in the clearing. The molten shards of glass glowed with her defiance. The swarm of butterflies that had been working on defending her dropped to the ground, collectively dead. A dull rumble sounded.

I think we’d better leave.

The rumbling grew louder. I agreed with Richard when a geyser of water shot up from the hole. Leo was in the blast zone. His body flew, hit by a gush of water. One of the other teams ran in and pulled him away.

Steam came off the water as a pool formed. The depression in the landscape caused by the battle was quickly filling as the geyser kept shooting in the air.

"Guys, I think we need to leave now." The forceful statement came from Ash, of all people. I looked back. He was tugging at Meredeath. "Really, guys. I think I know how these canyons were formed."

I looked back. The geyser was not slowing down. Another rumble, and the ground cracked. More hot water leaked through the earth.

Tandy tugged at my elbow.

Part of me wanted to stay. We had to save Leo. I didn't deserve to survive this. My heart lay out on the sand, broken with the delicate insects. A third of it was simply missing. Another tug pulled at my elbow.

"Let's go. He'll be fine." Ash pointed at the [Adventurers] picking up Leo to take him with them. Water had filled up the crevasses, and another quake hit. A small wave hit my feet, burning them.

The pain woke me up. I let Tandy's next tug pull me backwards.

The ground shook this time, knocking us all sideways. I slammed into the wall to my left, hitting my elbow hard.

I think you need to run faster.

Looking back after Richard's comment, I had to agree. The narrow canyon was filling up with water fast. A knee-high wave was headed our way.

"Run!" I screamed, seeing the steam rise above the hot water.

Each step took us closer to safety and further from who we used to be. We sprinted away from the trio of childhood friends who spent summers building tree forts.

Each step was further from Leo. From what he’d done.

A powerful earthquake rocked the canyon walls. Dust and debris choked the air. A lone raven cawed its last judgement as it took flight.

When the wave of water hit us, I finally felt like I was getting what I deserved.

Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 68: The Butterfly Effect

The journey through the canyon lands was odd. The path wound in and out of different slots, with varying elevations and widths.

Sometimes the canyon walls grew tall and narrowed so much that we had to climb the walls wedged between two faces. Other times, the space between the walls would widen in a bend, frying us in the sun. The ground went from moist to frozen to baked.

Carve-outs of various heights had formed, little alcoves where insects and rocks nestled. They looked like little altars to the gods of the desert, waiting for an offering. Some of these sat at eye level, while others were halfway up the canyon walls. Some were just large enough for a small offering, and others could have fit our entire party in the mini-cavelike structure.

“I wonder how this landscape formed.” Meredeath surprised me with her question. I’d never thought about how a landscape formed. “There’s no river carving the rock. It’s not volcanic.”

“Maybe it just is?” I said, tracing my hand along the wall. If I pressed hard enough, dust and sand would scrape off in a puff. The rock was soft.

“Leo, you talked to some of the other groups. Are we supposed to join up with one of the other [Adventurer] teams?” Tandy wiped sweat from her brow, taking a moment to get a sip of water.

We'd been hearing the horns of other groups all day, but our path had been pretty straightforward. The canyon had only deviated into narrow dead ends that were easily explored.

“No, the Hunt coordinators just assigned us this trail,” Leo explained, grabbing the canteen Tandy handed him. “They said if we hear a fight, that we have to wait to get permission from the engaged team to jump in.”

We’re slower than the other groups. They’re already ahead of us.

I kept that nugget of wisdom to myself.

"We just got to keep pushing." Leo handed Tandy the canteen back. The break, apparently, was over. The sun had risen to the highest point in the sky.

"How long is the Hunt supposed to be? We’re not camping out here tonight, are we?" I asked. We’d need to head back soon to get to our campsite before dark.

Outside of the iron tree guard and a few loose scorpions, we had encountered no real hints that we were on the right track. Worse, we hadn’t really encountered anything worth our time. This [Raid] event was turning out to be much less exciting than expected.

"He told me to follow this canyon to its end," Leo insisted, and I realized in that instance a problem. Tandy normally got our quests. Leo wasn’t a planner. He didn’t care about stupid things like the details.

I looked at Tandy, immediately concerned.

"Yes, we've gone over this, Leo. Everything seems in order, did the guy say something about using horns?" Tandy asked, giving side-eye that told me to keep my mouth and opinions to myself.

“Maybe.” It was Leo's turn to look abashed. “But it doesn't matter, because we're on a single-track path. We’re supposed to blow our horn,” he held up the ox horn strung across his neck, “when we have a creature in sight.”

A group of horns sounded in the distance, as though triumphantly announcing a victory to the entire Hunt.

[Raid Notification:

Your [Raid] has killed 1 of the 3 legendary creatures. Your reward will be calculated based on the percentage of your contribution. Caution impact to your [The Mercy Ledger: Beasts] will also be calculated on this measurement.

You receive: 0 experience and 0 loot.

Your [The Mercy Ledger: Beasts] quest relationship status has dropped by 10 points. Although you did not take part in the kill, you belong to a [Raid] who committed the act. If you or your team harms such a creature, it will significantly harm your reputation. Your reputation with Legendary Beasts is +40.

Caution: if you drop below 0, you will lose this quest and all previously earned benefits.]

I gaped at the notification. Seriously? I knew there would be implications, but this seemed extreme.

A quick glance at Ash showed he was frowning. Looked like he got the same notification.

One reason I’d been walking so slow was that I figured it wouldn’t be the worst outcome if we missed out on the killing. I didn’t realize that simply being in the [Raid] was going to jeopardize my quest.

"Guys, we have to go. I just got a notification that my [Initiate of the Hunt] patroness is unhappy. If we don’t start moving faster, I’m going to lose more reputation. I don’t want to endanger my class." Leo's words triggered a nightmare scenario.

His reputation with his goddess directly opposed mine with the legendary beasts.

"You took a reputation class without consulting the rest of us?" Tandy’s voice was sharp. I cringed at her words, being guilty of almost the same thing. She pressed her hands to her temples as she shook her head. “We will not be successful if we don’t plan, and I can’t plan anything if I don’t have all the information.” She quickened her pace, leaving Leo in the dust.

So many secrets were stacking up. I still hadn’t told them about the Faction Points from the dungeon because of my stupid promise to Richard. And now I had this [The Mercy Ledger: Beasts] quest.

Confusion marred Leo’s face. "I didn't realize there was reputation associated with it until they gave it to me."

I felt that. Things weren’t always as black and white as Tandy made them.

I decided to keep my secrets to myself for now.

Ash, however, didn't have a filter. "I've got a reputation-based chain quest too." I tried grabbing his eyes as Tandy slowly turned around. For the love of the Everbear he needed to shut up. "Cole and I picked it up..." His voice trailed off as he finally met my look.

Tandy and Leo were staring at me.

You’ve stepped in it this time.

"Is it true?" Tandy asked with the heat of the desert sun.

I couldn't meet her gaze. "Aye, I did, but not by choice."

Originally when I’d told them about our catch, I’d left out the [Legendary] status of the [King of the River]. Tandy had me walk through the story again. I shared the details but tried to keep the exact wording of the quest out of the conversation. I hate secrets, but I knew revealing all of them now would destroy Leo.

“I didn’t think it was relevant because I couldn’t share it. It’s a [Hidden] quest you have to discover on your own,” I finished lamely.

They looked at me. Leo at least seemed to nod. Tandy, however, split her ire between the two of us.

“Have I been the only one following the rules? We’re a team, which means no secrets.” Tandy looked between the two of us, her hurt plain. I crossed my arms, remembering the burn of being Richard’s [Pet]. Apparently, I wasn’t good at being the [Heart] of the team.

“Yes? Maybe? It’s not that I was keeping this from you—” Okay, that was a lie. “—to hurt you.” There. I could live with that statement.

She looked at Leo. He just shrugged, looking away in guilt.

I pressed on. “The world isn’t just black and white. Meredeath didn’t tell us she was from Kansas right away. Or tell her class. Richard obviously knows more than he lets on. And they both have been hiding dimensional storage from us for who knows how long!”

None of that, though, was on Tandy.

Don’t bring me into this. I promised nothing.

I was really terrible at this team thing.

“What’s the problem?” Leo took up the cause. “These reputation stats don’t harm anyone. But this is the basis of my entire [Paladin] class. If I don't have a patron, I don't have the class." Embarrassment disappeared from Leo’s voice. Instead he stood, arms crossed, eyes stony, as he stared Tandy down.

Leo’s statement was a slap in the face. Intellectually, his class-based reputation associated with the Hunt overruled my [Hidden] quest. I just didn’t expect to get smacked with the truth. It was like a bucket of ice water had been thrown on me. This was the [Heart] of Leo’s build. Of course, it outweighed my quest.

Tandy looked like she was about to pull her hair out.

Meredeath stepped in, a theoretical neutral party. "Look, at this rate, we're not going to find one of these beasts, anyway. Until we meet one, none of these reputation gains or losses matter. Let’s deal with the secrets once we are done with the Hunt."

A butterfly caught my eye as it flitted through the air, behind Leo's head. It was incredibly bright orange until it shifted to the side. Then, the red in the undertone of its wings melded it perfectly into the canyon walls. With a twist of her body, she'd disappear, perfectly camouflaged. I wondered how long she'd been following us.

[Achievement Unlocked: Mistress of the Canyon. You have uncovered the [Legendary] Camouflaged Rock Mistress. Few spot the Camouflaged Rock Mistress who hides in the cool air of the slot canyons. She is curious about your intent, recognizing you as a friend of the beasts. You must satisfy her before being granted any rewards.]

Fuck my life.

The butterfly carrying my doom flitted around Leo's head, as though taunting me to say anything. What could I do? It was as though she'd purposefully picked that moment to reveal herself.

You see her, right? What are you going to do?

My back had tightened until Richard bumped my ear.

What could I do? If I shared her presence, Leo would try to kill her. And like the [King of the River], I knew that would be wrong. She wasn’t harming anyone here among the rocks. I knew what was right, even if it hurt Leo.

"Alright, are we going to venture onward?" Tandy frowned at me, translating my stress as impatience. "Look, we've got a problem here, but like you said. Until Leo finds one of these legendary creatures, there isn't a decision. He may never find one."

[You have received +20 Reputation Points with the legendary beasts. This puts your total at +60.]

I'd made the right decision, so why did I feel so bad? But as the team ventured forward, my little butterfly friend followed, flitting above Leo's head. This was going to be a long afternoon.

The canyon grew deeper the longer we walked. The heat that'd been pelting us all day dropped off. Ice crystals had formed in the puddles sitting in the shadows.

I suspected some sort of ancient water event formed the canyons. Maybe a magical act that produced water in the desert? Looking up, the canyon's tight walls left a narrow ribbon of sky. It had grown darker with gray clouds rolling in. I shivered, the day’s sweat cold in my clothes.

Every once in a while, a raven would stand on an outcropping and caw at us. Or a little canyon sparrow would slice through the air in a display of acrobatics, dodging rock outcroppings as it twisted and turned through the canyon.

Outside of the birds and the Rock Mistress, I had spotted no other wildlife. Which in itself was notable. We had heard none of the [Raid] horns since the [System] notification of the kill.

"We've got a problem," Leo called as he stood in a knuckle of the canyon. The rest of us piled up to look. An enormous boulder sat wedged between the walls, blocking the next leg of our journey.

Leo kneeled down, examining the slim gap under the boulder. "I think we can squeeze under it. It looks like the canyon opens up on the other side." I watched as the Rock Mistress flitted up and over the large sandstone boulder.

"Let me send Richard over, so he can check it out for us. Wasn't there a tributary canyon an hour ago? Maybe we were meant to go down that path?" I didn't relish trying to squeeze under the stone. Leo'd begun using his hands to dig out the wet, sludgy soil, trying to widen the gap.

Tandy watched Leo, arms crossed in disapproval. She didn't revel in tight spaces either. "Go ahead, Cole."

I'm not going under that rock either. I'm [Immortal], not stupid. Just toss me over.

At least we were unanimous in our distaste for wriggling under thousands of pounds of rock. I took Richard in my hand and underhand tossed him up, trying to land him at the pinnacle of the rock. He landed with a light squeak and a wet plop.

I waited as Richard slowly glided to the edge to gain a better view. Ash was making hand gestures to Meredeath, muttering about some sort of lever. Leo was still hand-shoveling sand.

Boss, we've got a problem. A big one.

Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 67: Jackpot

The slot canyon was unlike any landscape I'd encountered in my twenty-five years. I mean, sure, I’d never been out of the Heltenic Forest, but this was crazy.

We'd been walking on a path in the full sun of the desert, scorched and sunburnt. But here in the canyon, in the shade of its walls, twenty feet below the surface, it was cold. Maybe not cold when compared to an Ursine Wall winter, but freezing compared to the desert we'd abandoned above.

The ground was a sand-pebble mix, stones smooth with wear, and it was oddly damp. An oasis of water in a landscape that had almost none. Even so, we didn't see very many creatures. Ravens watched us from above, flying over the canyon and marking our progress with caws.

Here and there, the walls widened up, and a rare tree sprouted on an outcrop.

"That's an aspen, I think." Ash said, walking over to examine the tree.

The ground rumbled.

"That's not a tree!" Tandy shouted the obvious as the tree ripped itself out of the ground.

The tree monster towered above us, not a legendary beast, but one that'd been lying in wait. It swiped one paw down, grabbing Ash in a leafy hand. The once-dormant tree sprouted a rough face made of foliage. It lifted Ash towards a knotted gap in its trunk full of gnashing teeth.

Ash screamed, and I didn't blame him.

Throw me at it. I can help.

I didn't bother to ask how as I [Slug Tossed] Richard at the top of the tree monster. He hit and clung onto the branches, a yellow disk of goo.

I watched as Leo swung his axe at the trunk. The head rebounding hard, throwing him back.

"That's no aspen, it's ironwood!" Leo yelled.

I shook my head, realizing that my hammer would not be much use if the tree was an ironwood. Only an [Enchanted] weapon could inflict much damage, and Leo’s axe suggested that even that might be limited.

Richard dropped onto one of its leafy eyebrows. The face wiggled dramatically, trying to dislodge him. Richard’s slime trail glistened in the sun.

Tandy threw a web at the elbow joint of the arm holding Ash. It stuck and hardened, not allowing the arm to bend further. With Ash’s movement towards the mouth halted, the tree looked at Tandy and grinned.

Another joint further up the branch popped, twisting to move Ash closer from a different angle. The sharp teeth in its maw glistened with anticipation.

I had to do something. I reached into my bag, looking for anything useful. My hand fell upon the cluster of lucky nails I’d kept. They were special [Steel Nails] I’d gained through a skill.

I ran at the tree, dodging a root that tried to trip me. Resting the first nail, a fat spike used for heavy-duty construction, against the trunk, I brought [Guardian’s Promise] down on its head.

I heard a satisfying split of the wood as the nail slammed into place. Steel was harder than ironwood.

The monster screamed, releasing Ash. He dropped to the ground in a heap.

Quickly, I set another steel nail. I’d sentimentally kept half a dozen of them. Looking at the split in the trunk, I placed the second nail higher, just beyond the split. Another swing, and a louder crack sounded.

"Duck!" Tandy yelled, and I hit the floor as a huge branch swung over my head. Grabbing my next nail, I aimed it up into the gap my previous swings had created. Just as I was about to swing, Leo roughly pushed me away.

He triggered a skill, [Precise Strike], and I watched as the blade of his axe hit directly up through the crack. He slammed all his power straight through the weak spot in the trunk.

Meredeath fired a green [Death Bolt] into the eye that Richard hadn't gooped over. Ash ducked as a leafy appendage swiped at Richard, trying to clear its vision.

“Place another nail!” Leo commanded as he ducked, winding up for another strike.

I shoved one into the deep gap in the trunk and Leo took a swing at my last lucky nail.

"[Precise Strike], [Power Strike]," he grunted. I watched as the power behind his awkward swing almost tripled with magical input.

The wood split in an explosion of splinters. A crack threaded through the ragged bark up through the maw that'd been its mouth. The creature slumped over.

We all waited, tense. Ready for a second round. Richard sat on its eyebrow munching leaves and continuously expelling an acidic goo into its eyes.

[Iron tree guard defeated. You have earned experience. Richard used the skill [Final Blow], gaining double experience.]

I still got it!

Of course, he finished the beast off by munching its leaves. The smug slug dropped from his perch on top of the tree's brow with a wet plop. His antennae swung in the air in victory.

I picked him up by his slimy scruff and placed him on his normal roost. Bracing for criticism, I turned towards the team.

"Your slug did it again!" Leo was disgusted.

I didn't blame him. Richard had been using this skill a lot since the dungeon run at Eddie’s Mill. Leo had earned the same skill but never triggered it at the right moment. That took planning, and a level of intellect Leo struggled with.

"Richard, you've got to stop stealing Leo's experience," I berated my companion, not for the first time.

Your experience, you mean? His voice was haughty as he began to clean his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." And I didn't. Leo’s the one with the [Final Blow] skill.

It was your nail. I'm your [Companion]. Haven’t you realized you get some of that double experience bonus?

“Sorry, Leo,” I said as I looked in the crack of the tree trunk. Sure enough, my nail was at the top. I reached in and grabbed it.

[Skill Acquired: You have gained a new [Dead Wrong] skill, [Loot]. You will now be able to use this skill to loot any party kills you touch. At the base level, this skill provides [0%] extra loot.]

Holy shit!

I touched the tree, whispering my new skill, “[Loot].”

[You have looted the iron tree guard. You receive:

3 Used Steel Nails

2 Iron Ingots [Components]

2 Hardwoods [Components]

1 [Heartree] [Component]

The loot dumped onto the canyon floor in a pile. Leo stared at the hunks of wood and iron ingots in surprise.

“Did you just use the [Loot] skill?” Ash whooped. “I’ve got to be dreaming. Do you know how rare that is?”

It’s a big deal.

I looked at my companions, wide-eyed. This could be a game-changer. We didn’t have to spend hours breaking down monsters or beasts into components. Or, feel guilty as we left the carcasses unharvested. Selling this to crafters would give us a whole new income source.

Maybe a utility [Adventurer] wasn’t as useless as I thought.

“Pretty rare?” I said, wondering what we were going to do with the stack of components.

“All you need is some dimensional storage and any [Adventurer] group would take you. Hot damn, I’m so glad we met.”

“Wow, all that from one monster?” Tandy chimed in. “This opens up so many more options for us.” Her mind was already evaluating possibilities.

“I know I didn't contribute much to the fight, but do you think I could have the [Heartree]?” Ash asked tentatively. I looked at the slight man, wondering what he wanted it for.

"Contributed little, or at all?" Leo rumbled as he walked by with a smirk.

Ash looked down. “Nevermind,” he muttered. “I'll try to get one later.”

Frowning, I picked up a [Heartree]. I didn't care that Ash didn't take part in the fight. His strength didn’t seem to be in direct damage. He’d done okay as a decoy. What I was curious about was what he was going to use this [Heartree] for.

"Wait, don't listen to Leo. He's just being a grump. Why do you need it?"

"I’ve found a few options. You can make them into mini-bombs, but that takes some other components." What were the ‘bombs’ this guy was talking about?

Meredeath strolled over. "Bombs? Really?" She looked at my confusion. "They explode, normally dealing massive damage when thrown or as part of a trap."

I nodded, encouraging Ash to continue.

"That's a waste of their potential, though. With a [Heartree], I can use it to power wood-based mechanics. So, like your reel, I could attach one and it would help auto-reel. Or add one to a catapult and have the mechanism auto-reset. I mean, that would probably take a couple, but you get the idea." Ash’s enthusiasm was infectious.

With that [Loot] skill, [Heartrees] are going to be raining on you like coppers.

“They’re that common, Richard?” I didn’t bother hiding my disbelief.

Richard looked up at me, and then a tentacle swung over to Ash. He opened his mouth, fangs gleaming, and seemed to dislocate his jaw.

Suddenly, a dozen [Heartrees]—little round wooden disks with a magical gleam to them—ejected into the space in front of Richard.

“What just happened? Did your slug throw up ten times its body weight in [Heartrees]?” Ash eyed Richard suspiciously, even as he licked his lips at the pile of loot.

I have a dimensional storage tooth cap.

Random behaviors of my slug flashed through my mind. Richard posing on top of our kills. Gnawing on random items with his little fangs. Licking various components in shops.

“Have you been looting our kills this whole time?” I asked, outraged.

Richard didn’t bother replying. He just looked up at me with a smug little toothy grin.

“I can have these?” Ash started picking up the [Heartrees], popping them into his own dimensional storage. I really needed dimensional storage. “You can't believe what I'll be able to craft.”

"They're that valuable?" Meredeath fingered her onyx ring.

“You have no idea. I wouldn’t have to be an [Adventurer] with all of this. I could just craft.” He sounded so wistful, as though my nightmare was his dream.

“I have a confession to make,” Meredeath said, twisting the stone on her ring. Another two dozen [Heartrees] popped onto the canyon floor.

She had dimensional storage this whole time?! And [Loot]?! I knew she was a bit of a loot goblin, but she’d been holding out on us.

I opened my mouth to point this out, but Richard stopped me. We’re all allowed a secret or two.

“I can’t possibly repay you all,” Ash said, still picking up [Heartrees] and popping them into his storage. He wasn’t going to let the debt prevent him from grasping the opportunity.

“I want bombs,” Meredeath said plainly. She gave me an amused look at Ash’s avarice.

“You can’t repay us yet,” Tandy chimed in. “But we may need to think about forming a guild sooner rather than later.”

A guild. The best [Adventurer] parties had small cities that worked with them, consuming their loot, and updating their gear. It wasn’t even a dream I’d considered. Not surprisingly, it looked like it’d been on Tandy’s long-term plan.

I looked over at Leo. He'd walked away from the conversation, opting to scout down to the next bend in the canyon. Leo gazed back at our huddle, impatient to get on with the Hunt.

I gave him a shrug and leaned in, wanting to hear more about these 'bombs' of Ash's.

Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 66: Into the Slot

I couldn’t imagine that the giant river Ash and I had fished on ran through such a dry place. As it hit the vast plains, they called it the Tigra, but here, in the canyon lands, they called it the Stonebender.

Back in Woodsten, we couldn't have imagined a river so large. Was this what the Niyat looked like before the cataclysm? People said it was the largest river in the East.

As we walked surrounded by red dust, sage, and juniper, the river seemed even more impossible.

This was not a land of water. The campground for the Hunt was at the crux of the river, but even so it was temporary. The landscape was sparse. No one could survive out in the true wilderness for long.

No wonder it was a haven for beasts.

Richard had settled on my shoulder, his stomach happily burbling as he digested the lizard.

“An entire fucking lizard,” I murmured.

Did you want me to eat only half of it? Besides, it progressed the quest, didn’t it?

Ah, so that’s where the 1/? killed beasts came from. At least the kill didn’t affect our [Hidden] quest, so maybe we’d be okay after all.

"No, but it was almost as big as you are. Where did you put it all?" I muttered to him, exaggerating only a little.

Have you seen me eat? A lot of judgment from someone who ate a foot-long sandwich from the vendor yesterday.

He wasn't wrong. Just way too observant.

I watched my friends ahead of me. We commonly took the tail of the line because Richard could keep a better eye on what was behind us than anyone focused on putting one step in front of the other.

Tandy led, followed by Leo, Ash, and Meredeath. Leo was humming to himself, his axe resting on his shoulder. When we were out in the wilderness, he always had it out, ready to go.

Unlike him, I had my war hammer strapped to my hip. It was too awkward to have out and swinging around as we walked. Richard was always jumpy when I practiced with it, worried he'd get squished.

Which seemed odd for someone who was theoretically [Immortal].

I wiped the beads of sweat from my forehead. The sun was high, and there was no shade. The sage and juniper reached hip height, and miniature cacti and scorpions covered the few shady spots. I heard a telltale lip smack out of Richard.

He'd eaten, he was warm, and he was about to succumb to a full-on food coma.

"You still paying attention back there?"

Of course, why do you ask? I could hear the yawn in his mental projection.

"Because I know you. You’re full and warm. I don’t need to remind you we’re in a beast-filled wilderness, do I?"

Yes, yes, kill the legendary beast. I didn't think you were that interested in succeeding on this quest.

I wasn't, but I hadn't said it out loud to anyone. Slowing my footsteps a hair, I gave Richard and myself a bit more privacy.

My eyes kept seeking Leo's broad shoulders and tousle of straw hair. Had he grown taller since we left Woodsten? Maybe it was just the shoulder pads on his armor. The life of adventure was suiting my friend in ways that it wasn't resonating with me.

"I don't, but we're here. It's complicated."

If you say nothing, you have only yourself to blame.

I knew this. But the thought of bringing it up with Leo burned in my gut. A [Paladin of the Hunt] would not turn away from the Hunt. He would forfeit his class.

He was becoming a force with his [Enchanted Axe of Singing]. The type of [Adventurer] we’d talked about being as kids. Who needed a [Sponsor] when he could align himself with a goddess?

Getting him to take part in a quest chain for mercy, a collector’s quest, seemed as unlikely as a floating castle. The conversation would not go over well, and I’d end up caving anyway.

The truth was, we needed Leo. We were all specialists. He was our generalist who could deal damage in any situation. Did he need us, though? He could smash and trash with any team across the continent. But Tandy was still figuring her magic out, and I still wasn’t sure what role I had to play. I was nearly worthless in a true fight.

I think your [Self-Criticism] skill triggered.

"Damn it. Why did I have to keep that one?" I checked my status sheet, and sure enough, it'd been auto triggered. "How do you know? You keep insisting you can't read my mind, but—"

Your shoulders tense every time you get stuck in one of those loops. So, I can tell when your ear brushes my back.

Suddenly self-conscious, I tried to lower my shoulders. Stress tended to make my back clench. Tandy and Leo had stopped on the trail, and I quickly caught up with everyone.

"The trail goes this way," Tandy said, stepping down onto something that wasn't much more than a goat track.

"But didn't they say we were going into a slot canyon? It starts right here." Leo'd stepped off the trail to examine a crevasse in the ground. I walked over to what he was pointing at.

The ground opened up, dropping quickly twenty feet. A log wedged in the crack, and I could almost imagine myself hopping down and crawling to the base of the narrow shaft. My brain couldn't help but imagine the ground closing over us, swallowing us as its latest victims.

"I'm not sure I could climb down there that easily." This was Ash, whose agility score wasn't terribly high. As a self-proclaimed mechanic, his physical skills were mediocre.

If I were honest, I wasn't sure I could scramble down the sun-bleached knobby log either.

Tandy stepped over to look. "This looks like what they described a slot canyon to be." She kicked a pebble over the side. It clinked as it hit the log and bounced down to the bottom.

Something slithered out from a shaded ledge. A long tongue reached out to taste the pebble before returning to its nest.

"Did you see that?" Ash's voice shook as he spoke. The guy was more [Mundane] crafter than [Adventurer]. I felt guilty, having convinced him to give the [Raid] a try with our group.

“Yes, let's follow the path a little longer, and see if it drops into the canyon. If it doesn’t, Leo, we will take your advice,” Tandy compromised, as she was not keen on jumping into the hole either.

Leo seemed mollified.

“If we have to jump in there, I vote Leo goes first,” Meredeath countered.

We walked another ten minutes to find that the trail dropped into a washout leading into the canyon. I stood watch as the team scrambled down the loose gravel slope. Dust and rocks slid down with each footstep.

Once we were in the canyon, I realized it was going to be hard to get out. I took an unsteady step forward and tensed as it sank several inches into the grit. Four sets of eyes looked up at me.

My plan had been to watch and learn, but no one had escaped a few stumbles sliding down to the floor, and now I had to accomplish the same feat with them all watching.

Another step caused my left foot to slide further. I grabbed a scrubby sage bush anchored in the landscape. As my left foot started sliding, I pulled on the bush trying to prevent my rapid descent. The bush betrayed me, pulling up dramatically.

Oh shit.

My body jerked forward, expecting the bush to hold. I toppled end over end, rolling forward on the loose gravel. Richard clung, tucked into my head, his slimy trail gritty with dust and debris. Finally, I stopped, dazed, at the foot of the hillside, covered in red dust.

Checking my status, I'd taken a couple of points of physical damage. Leo offered a hand, helping me stand up. He helped pat the dust off my clothes. My face was red, and it wasn't from the sunburn I'd picked up. No, I’d taken most of the damage to my ego.

"Well, we're all here now," Meredeath said dryly. Her black leggings were pristine.

I coughed as I inhaled some of the dust that I'd patted off my body. She had to have a skill that kept her clothes black, right? An [Aura of Darkness]? Or a [Pristine] cleaning skill?

Either way, despite Leo and my efforts, both Richard and I were now coated in a claggy layer of dust.

"I wonder how this slot canyon formed," Tandy said as she examined the far wall, running her hand along the wall. Ash came over, examining the sage bush I'd brought with me. He picked it up and showed it to Meredeath. The entire bush disappeared into his inventory.

"We ready to go back and kill that beast under the log? I could do it myself, if you all need a moment?" Leo held his axe like he was ready for action.

I thought of my mercy quest. That creature hadn't been a creature of legend, but it hadn't been a monster either.

"Tandy, was it red on your map?" I asked, trying not to be forceful. Leo could be stubborn when he dug in.

"No, I think it was just an ordinary overgrown lizard." She frowned as she zoomed to our location. "Yeah, it's still there as white, just part of the landscape."

I shrugged. "We should probably leave it, just a distraction. Let's get on with the quest. Let's find a legendary beast to kill!" I said it with false enthusiasm, praying we were too low level to find any legends.

Tandy looked at me, frowning. When we'd been kids, we'd always pull Leo into our schemes by pumping him up about some mundane task that we needed him for. An enthusiastic facade was one technique that worked every time on our friend.

This time was no different, as Leo smiled. "You're right, let's focus on the goal." He'd already turned, moving deeper into the canyon.

Tandy looked at me, and I shrugged, bobbing Richard up and down. I didn't want to tell her yet.

The [System] rewarded me for my efforts.

[[Thread of Mercy] experience gained! Sparing the life of the Desert Lizard has strengthened your bond to [Desert Creatures].]

No explanation of what that meant or did. I looked at Ash. He was examining the red stripes in the rock wall with no sign of receiving a notification himself.

Apparently, intent mattered.

Desk of Reck: Final Edits

Hope everyone has a great weekend planned!

I'm headed off this afternoon to Paracon in Caney, KS. I'll be selling books, and listening to ghost stories. Fellow friend and author A.D. Childers will be along with me - if you haven't checked out her books, and like a good mystery, try The Switch Point - a Kansas notable book award winner in 2025! (https://www.amazon.com/Switch-Point-D-Childers/dp/B0CPQ847KV) .

Stumbling Up is in its final edits - If you see me live on discord, I've been talking through my vocal edits in prep for Richey and Jessica. I've gotten through all my editor revisions and am just doing this last round.

Will the final product be different than what you've experienced on Patreon and Royal Road? Absolutely, and that's by design. By following me here, you get the raw semi-edited first draft almost as I write it. But as story lines firm up, and I decide things like the [System] should always be in brackets, the story changes. I've gone back and added things like -- Cole packing his lucky nails when they leave Woodsten, and granting him [Slime Manipulation] earlier on, and more details about his first girlfriend, and the [Cleanse the Corruption] quest line. It's all good stuff. I'm a writer that adds when I edit for the most part.

Editing is tough because it's not the exciting part of creating. But it is necessary to grow as a writer --- my grammar is going to be a lot better in my drafts in book 2, and the details I'm tracking and story arcs too. I'm even learning a thing or two about how to end a book (Looking at you Gary).

I'm also taking a lot of notes for book 2. Did you remember that Tandy keeps her fabric scissors in an [Enchanted] bag to prevent Leo from stealing them? That Cole gained a [Feign Death] skill that I hadn't actually had him use (EVEN THOUGH he feigns death several times). Or that Richard's [Glue] slime has a blue shimmer to it?

Books are crazy, there's a hundred little details to hold onto, and a hundred more big details.

Share with me your favorite detail about Stumbling Up or one of the characters.

I'd love to hear them!!

Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 65: Cracks

Richard moved forward, scrunching down as though stalking prey. I scanned the scene, identifying nothing edible by his standards. Just some dusty sage, red dirt, and a couple of cacti. Nothing vegetative that he preferred.

My yellow companion slowly inched forward, antennae stretched in front of him, as though sniffing the air. Slowly his butt lifted, wiggling like a cat's.

"Are you sure --- Meredeath's death ray --- aimed --- Ash?" Leo asked so quietly I only caught a few words with my inattention.

What had he said? Meredeath aimed her death ray at Ash? That couldn't be right.

He probably meant [Death Bolt], the skill she’d earned trying to throw her knives at carnivorous prairie dogs on the trip here.

I held up a finger, asking Leo to give me a second. Glancing back at Richard, I found him several feet away from his former location. He was smothering what looked to be a small lizard.

“You eat meat?”

What do you think the fangs are for?

“Sorry, what was that?” I asked Leo. “A [Death Bolt]?”

Richard lifted his head. One small lizard leg dangled from his mouth.

Leo shushed me, drawing us away from the team. He kept his voice low, which I now realize wasn't because he didn't want to interrupt Richard's hunt. "Are you sure they should come with us? I mean, Meredeath's [Death Bolt] is useful, but what if she accidentally aims it at one of us? And Ash? He's just weird." This time, his head bobbed over to Ash and Meredeath, who seemed intent on their own morning.

Ash bent down, examining a small white wildflower blooming in the shadow of a rock. He looked like a kid, full of wonder and innocence.

I doubted my decision plenty after I brought Ash back to camp, but I felt like I owed him after he helped save Richard. Plus, his powers were cool. And I wasn’t sure anyone would believe my story if I didn’t have a witness.

Ash plucked the flower, standing up. Meredeath leaned in, listening to him explain some property of the herb as it zipped into his inventory. He had one of those dimensional storages I’d been eyeing. How he afforded one, I didn’t know.

I knew I was more than a little jealous of how Meredeath and Ash hit it off.

I looked at Leo. "I'm not sure of anything, but Meredeath's pulled us out of the fire more than once... and if she vouches for Ash..."

I didn't finish the sentence. I didn't need to. Leo might be able to solo a minor boss, but Tandy and I were still pretty underpowered. Even if I had survived a few tough moments.

Meredeath was our highest damage dealer. I suspected that while Ash wasn't a killer outright, he still had some major tricks up his sleeve. If he could magnify Meredeath’s output, maybe we wouldn’t be completely useless in this Hunt.

The camp had gotten overrun by fancy nobles and [Adventurers] with magical armor and the spending power of a treasury. We looked like kids playing dress-up by comparison.

He sighed. "If she vouches for Ash, I suppose we've got to take him." Leo looked at me, his eyes hardening in a way I hadn't seen. "You need practice. Start taking this seriously. If we're going to reach our full potential, if we're going to make it as a team, you're going to have to progress."

I’d been fairly miserable in the dry heat of the desert. My weakness against heat and intolerance of dry environments combined to make the Ceaparean Drift nightmare fuel. I had a canteen dedicated to wetting my bandana.

"I am progressing, just not in the Leo Smash way that you are." He just had to hit things to practice, to progress. He’d picked up six different axe-attack skills on our trip to the Drift.

The inherent defensiveness that I'd carried my whole life, as I'd never progressed in the ‘right way’. With the [Dead Wrong] class, I just couldn’t manage to progress anything normal like my hammer skills. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't pick up hammer skills or basic fighting. My build was more decoy than damage like some weird utility player.

The new [Mercy] skills I’d picked up just didn’t pack a punch. Like [Heart]. I wasn’t going to hug a dungeon boss into submission. No one got far as an [Adventurer] by talking out their feelings.

The only skill I’d picked up on our journey to the hunt was [Feign Death]. I received that skill during a desperate attempt to avoid [Cheat Death] when a normal bear wandered into our campsite.

Leo's hand came down on my slug-free shoulder, squeezing in a gesture I’m sure was meant to be reassuring. I had to hold back a wince as several points ticked off my health bar. He’d gotten strong. Or maybe my [Gelatinous] nature was getting the best of me.

“Hey, sorry,” Leo said. “I know you're working as hard as anyone. If Ash is coming with us, we might as well get started.”

I raised my head as he let go, missing his expression as he walked away. His new white and gold embossed armor shone in the sun.

You've all come a long way since we met in that dank forest.

I shook my head at Richard's comment. Leo'd come a long way. I watched as Tandy smiled, talking to Meredeath. Tandy was on the verge of a breakthrough. And, as long as Meredeath didn’t start raising undead, her ability to kill things was unparalleled. If she showed [Necromancer], the entire Adventurer’s Guild would hunt her down.

Leo leaned in since we’d started toward the Hunt. He’d embraced the "level up" life, and as a “common” [Warrior] he had a lot of options.

"I'm not moving as fast as others," I said, and I knew my words sounded resentful. I let out a long sigh.

Progress isn't always measured by a number going up. Power isn't always at the end of a hammer. You need a slug's perspective. Thankfully, you have me.

I closed my eyes, feeling the heat of the sun on my face. We were a long way from the dark, dank coastal mountains of the Hellentic Forest.

I'd traded the stench of the kitchen compost for the guts of the latest monster. Linchpin of the team, I was not. But even I had to admit I'd come a long way for a part-time line cook slash dishwasher. I let the breath I'd subconsciously held go, willing my shoulders to drop and my back to unclench. [Self Critic] let go.

"I’m going to be an Everbear-damned [Master of Death]." The words were more for me than Richard, but I still waited for a snarky reply. Something like 'a lot of good it's done you' or 'whatever that means.' His biting rejoinder never came, so I finished the statement myself. "Good at dying, less at dealing."

I walked towards my team, ready for what was to come.

"I still don't have the Raid Quest. Can you share it across?" Meredeath asked. She looked out of place in the desert. The sunlight sank into her dark clothes as though swallowed by a vortex.

"I've got it." Leo shared the quest out to our party. "I must say, I'm excited to try out my new class."

[Raid Quest: Legendary Hunt - Welcome to the Hunt! You have been given access to the [Legendary Monster Quest Chain]. The Ceaparean Drift Canyonlands has three Legendary Creatures in residence. Take part in the destruction of a creature to earn loot, decrease the monster’s hold on the civilized world, and progress. You have discovered 1/3+1 Legendary Creatures. Your party has killed 0/3 Legendary Creatures. Your party has killed 1/? creatures. Battle on!]

When the notification had first triggered, I'd reread it. I'd discovered [1/3] Legendary Creatures? Then I remembered the [King of the River]. The beauty of his scales glistening in the sun, I gave Ash a furtive glance. He'd gone a shade paler, too.

I had the sinking feeling that [Legendary Hunt] directly conflicted with my hidden quest chain [Mercy Ledger: Beasts].

"Leo, did you say you picked up a new class?" Tandy asked in a distracted tone, which meant she was probably reading the quest notification pop-up. I watched as she waved the notification away, eyes focused on Leo.

He grinned. His curly blond hair shimmered in the morning light. "I sure did. They had class trainers in the camp—"

"And you didn't tell us?" Tandy interrupted, muttering under her breath. "Of course he didn't."

"Uh, sorry?"

I shook my head. We joked that there wasn't enough gray matter to bother a Nirantian brain sucker between Leo's ears. Tandy waved at him to continue, so he did, digging his grave deeper.

"There were trainers, so I thought there might be something more helpful than [Warrior]. I was right!”

Oh no. Those aren’t [Trainers], they’re [Recruiters].

We all stood there, sweating as the sun rose higher in the morning sky, waiting for Leo to tell us what his new class was. He waited with a shit-eating grin for someone to ask.

"Out with it." Meredeath, per usual, was the first to lose her temper and ask. "What's the new class?"

"I'm a [Paladin]. Technically, a [Paladin of the Hunt]. My inspiration is [The Huntress]."

Oh, fuck, not that bitch.

Tandy and I looked at each other. [Paladins] were driven by the gods, their inspiration and patron being the source of much misadventure for the heroes in stories. The path of the [Paladin] was one of incredible legends or, more likely, an untimely death.

Leo'd only ever been interested in happy endings. He never calculated the cost.

I spoke up. "Leo, did you not think to question the granting of the class?" The words sounded like Tandy's, but my guilt gnawed at me as I thought of my own hidden quest chain [Mercy Ledger: Beasts].

He turned to me, eyes flaring defensively. "The class will help us on the [Raid]. You both act as if I can't wipe my nose without permission. I’m taking my progression into my own hands. Not all of us are a [Sage] or have a slug at the reins."

My eyes flickered over to Tandy's. We’d both hoped the gap between us and Leo had been shrinking. His mood had improved since we left Eddie’s Mill.

Instead, it seemed as though the rift had silently expanded. The cracking of our bond had continued beneath the surface, just out of mind.

That was partially our doing. Neither of us had really given Leo enough credit to think about this on his own. And my own [The Mercy Ledger: Beasts] [Hidden] quest had widened the cracks.

Meredeath and my insistence on adding Ash to the party hadn’t helped.

My [Heart] ached in my chest. There was plenty of blame to spread around for this fracture.

“You're right. I'm sure it'll be a boon to us all. I just wish…” What did I really wish for? Here we were on a [Raid] together as [Adventurers]. Our wildest dreams come true. Except it wasn’t.

I still felt like the underpowered loser I’d been back in Woodsten. I couldn’t fault Leo for feeling the same way. Being [Adventurers] was messy and complicated. It had solved none of our actual problems.

Trying to save face, I finished the sentence in a way that Leo would understand. "I just wish I'd thought of that. It's a cool class. I’m happy for you."

The words hung between us awkwardly, so I held out my hand to shake.

Leo's frown slowly turned into a grin.

"Sorry, man. Next time, you'll have to come along!" He clasped my hand and drew me into a hug. He smelled of desert pinions and sage.

My eyes caught Tandy's, and she raised one eyebrow in a question. I gave a quick, negative headshake. Now wasn't the time. I was committed to the lie, anything to save our trio.

Can we get this over with? Richard asked, sunbathing on a red rock.

Leo released me from his bear hug, all sins forgiven, all smiles as he was the first on the trail. Tandy followed as I bent down to retrieve the sunbaked Richard.

I watched as Meredeath and Ash gave each other indiscernible look. Cracks ran across the sunbaked land, as I tightened the water-soaked bandana around my neck.

Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression: Chapter 64: Another Fishy Tale

"Uh..." I mechanically reeled in the line and looked down at the kid? Man? The guy had an ageless quality about him. He could have been fifty or fifteen. I twitched my wrist, trying to think of something to say.

"Nice cast!" I looked out as Richard spun through the air. I swear I could see the grin on his face from yards away as he flew end over end.

"Thanks. About your question. I'm not actually the leader of my group. So if you want in you'll have to talk to Tandy." I didn't meet the kid's eye as I just kept my focus on Richard as he splashed into the water. I'd cast him towards the middle of the channel. The line continued to run out as he sank into the river.

"I understand." The guy's voice lowered in disappointment. My [Heart] went out to him, but adding someone to our group was a big decision. "So, who's Tandy? You have five of you in your party?"

I sat down on the boulder. Inwardly, I couldn't help but sigh. Fate would not give me the quiet solitude I’d planned for the day.

The line stopped spinning out. Richard had effectively hit the bottom. I watched as the line started drifting faintly with the current. At this distance, and out of earshot? Tentacle shot? Mind shot? I couldn't communicate with Richard, but our bond was calm, so I answered Ash's questions.

"Tandy’s our leader. She's a mage of sorts. I've known her for most of my life. She's incredibly smart. A real planner."

"Beautiful? They're always beautiful in the stories." Ash said wistfully. So, he was a bit of a romantic? Mentally, I dropped his age a bit in my head. How he'd become an [Adventurer] so young, I wasn't sure.

"I never really thought of her as beautiful. She's just Tandy. She's like a sister." Had I ever tried to quantify Tandy’s beauty? She wasn’t ugly, but she was just one of the guys.

I wrapped the string on my line around a finger and closed my eyes. I imagined her on the last quest, auburn hair tightly braided, eyes fierce as she wove a trap for the beast. Her wool cloak flapping back as the Cavern of Winds blew at us, trying to knock her concentration. The image was impressive, badass, and beautiful. "You know, she is beautiful. She's the most resourceful, determined person I've met. Loyal. She'd do anything for us."

The line tugged, and my eyes snapped open. I watched the tip of my rod, ready to jerk if I got another bite. Part of my mind worried about Richard, but when no other nibbles happened, I relaxed. The sun had come out in strength. I wrapped a bandana around my neck, covering my gills. The heat felt good, as long as I didn’t dry out.

We’d spent waaay too much time in dank underground caverns. A breeze swept across the river, tugging at my hair. My eyes closed again, soaking up the ambiance.

"She sounds great!" Ash's voice broke my reverie. "Who else is on your team?"

My eyes snapped open, and I watched as the tip of his rod jerked in a cast. The guy could not read the scene I'd painted for my day.

"Well, there's Leo. He's the beautiful one." I laughed. Leo had always been a favorite of the women in Woodsten, and now he had stats and skills. If we ever spent more than a night in a city, I'm sure he'd have a small harem of women at his beck and call.

"Ah, I see. You're in love with him?"

I choked, what?! What was it with this guy and Meredeath, trying to pair everyone off with everyone else? I absolutely was not interested in Leo. My admiration of him and his physique was simple jealousy. I'd always been the scrawny guy, and never the looker. Especially standing next to Leo and Tandy.

Sure, he was sexy. But…

"No, he's not my type." I tried to say it smoothly. Meredeath had berated me enough about the 'antiquated' ideas around sexuality in Woodsten. And honestly, what did I care? What had she said? Love is love?

Meredeath had thought about a lot of things I'd never really considered. She was experienced, and beautiful, and, "If I've fallen for someone, it's Meredeath."

The words slipped out. I hadn’t really said it out loud before. She was beautiful, and under the bite and the looks, was a genuineness.

It’s too bad I wasn’t her type.

"Meredeath? That's a weird name. Tell me about her." I watched as Ash jerked his rod up and down. As though bouncing his bait off the floor of the river was going to help.

I didn't bother, just letting Richard take care of himself. My mind gave in to the luxury of thinking about Meredeath, that way. It was exhilarating.

"She is different. I wouldn't call her weird, but she's very careful about her appearance. And guarded in a way that you know she's been through some shit. She's beautiful, unusual." How did one describe Meredeath?

The knot of tension that tightened when I thought about her melted.

"You must have it hard for her. Trailing off like that," Ash laughed. My face grew hot, and it wasn't just from the sunburn I was accumulating.

"Maybe. We haven't known each other for very long. It's probably just infatuation. She's different, and it's refreshing." I left it at that. Honest and safe.

Ash jerked his rod. "Getting a bite." We both watched, waiting for the next nibble.

When the bite came, it was on my line. The tip of my rod bent quickly, and I lifted my hand, setting the hook. The monster on the other end of my line ran with Richard, my reel spinning as the line went out. I grabbed the reel, trying to stop the fish. The line went taut and the rod almost jumped out of my hand.

"Holy shit!" I'd gone fishing, but the largest thing I'd ever caught was a baby gar. While impressive, the fish hadn't come near to pulling like this. Whatever was on the other end of my line was an absolute monster.

I slowly let some more line out, worried it might snap off and that I'd never retrieve Richard.

"Keep it on the line. I'll help." Ash was furiously reeling in his own line. I ignored him, every bit of my focus turned to pulling at the fish, then letting it go, pulling and letting it go. We were battling, and my stamina bar had popped active, slowly ticking lower with the effort. I regretted using Richard as bait on a crappy fishing rod I'd bought from a cheap general store. It wasn't magical or mechanically reinforced. I did not know that fish like this were even possible in a river like this.

With each tug and reel in, the fish drew my line back out. We were in a war of attrition; whoever tired first would lose. As my stamina ticked down, I could already predict the outcome. Fuck.

My mind raced through my skills. I had nothing useful for fishing.

Straining against the pull, I looked down at the coil. Half my line was still out, I had made little genuine progress in reeling Richard in.

My stamina bar was draining hard as I made a big push. I stood up, using all the muscle power I'd gained. And that was such a mistake. The rod creaked, and I saw a crack start along the groove where the two halves of the rod twisted together.

Stamina bar forgotten, I let some line out, trying to relieve the tension on the rod itself. My mind raced. The crack grew bigger. I let the reel go, reaching to grab the top half of the pole, when Ash's hand latched onto the rod.

"[Mend the Breach]" his hand glowed with the same blue magic he'd used before. The energy pulled at the wood and pulled the crack back together. "Concentrate on the fish; I've got your gear. [Reinforce]." Ash's voice had dropped in timbre as he called out his skills, blue magic snaking down the rod and out across the water, strengthening the line.

It was now or never. My stamina had dipped in the last quarter of the bar. My specialty was in dying, not Leo's muscle-bound tasks. I lifted the tip of the fishing pole and dipped it. Reeling in the length of line I'd won.

“I’m going to lose them,” I said, my teeth gritted together with effort.

“[Boost]!” Ash cried. My stamina surged.

Over and over. Lift the tip, pulling the fish in closer. Dip the tip as I furiously cranked in the line. The entire time Ash stood focusing on holding his skills. He'd fallen into a meditative trance.

Finally, a pull brought the fish up to the surface of the water. The head was a foot and a half wide, with two large wide eyes sunken on top of its head. The hook firmly planted itself in its mouth, with the barbed hook lodging around its jawbone.

Don't let it eat me! Richard's mental notes cried from the water. He'd crawled up the line, clinging above the hook.

As I twisted the rod to the side, time slowed, as the fish's entire body breached the surface. Shimmering green-blue scales reflected in the sunlight, casting a rainbow image across our boulder.

The fish was three yards long, with a thick body untarnished by its time in the river. This fish was the undisputed king of the river. I forgot I was trying to catch it, that Ash was holding everything together, that Richard was in danger. I just watched in awe as it swam on the break.

Rainbows danced, its jeweled scales glittering. The beast was beautiful. It turned, and its panicked eyes locked onto me. I knew in that moment that I had it. It was tired, and I'd won. Then time resumed as it jerked its body, trying to dive. I watched it twist in the water, frantic.

I knew what had to be done.

"Richard, bite the line!" The fish put the last of its energy into a dive, thrusting Richard underwater just as I'd yelled at my slug. I held onto the reel, letting some line out. Sweat beaded on Ash's face.

"I don't know how much longer I can hold it," he muttered. We were both coming to the end of our strength.

Suddenly the pressure vanished. The two of us fell backwards in a heap. Ash's skills broke, and his magic went wild for a moment, covering us both. It felt like a cold slap on my sunburn, stinging my jaw. The magic wormed into me and churned my stomach.

The instant passed quickly before it backlashed into Ash.

Even the momentary backlash hurt. I scrambled away from him, shaking my head.

"What was that?!" The words came out harsher than I intended as I rubbed my stinging face.

Ash ducked his head. "I'm sorry. I lost control. [Boost] is a once a week skill. I don’t use it often, and certainly not with two others active."

I clutched the fishing rod. Without the pressure of the mega fish, I could reel the line in without worrying about it snapping. The line felt heavy as Richard had wound himself around the trailing line.

I glanced at my new friend and did a double take. A fresh beard had sprouted on his face. The guy looked older? No, that wasn't right. He looked manlier with a beard.

I realized that's why I'd thought he was young; he'd looked too fresh-faced to be of any age. Now with the beard he looked in his twenties. He stood up, and I realized he was taller than I expected.

Finally, Richard breached the surface, and as I pulled him in, I could hear his mental complaints.

Almost bit me in half.

Licked the slime right off me! Who in the living hell does that?

Legend-fucking-ary, my slimy ass!!

He was cussing but not injured.

"No, I'm sorry. You just surprised me, that's all. Your magic kept us all together. Thank you."

[Achievement Unlocked: The King and I. You have uncovered the [Mythical] King of the River. Few in the last millennium have met this rainbow catfish and lived to tell the tale. You chose mercy over mastery. Friendship over feasting. For this, you will be rewarded:

Skill gained: [Thread of Mercy] - Your bonds now carry intent. Strengthen or release them with purpose.

Skill gained: [Mark of Mercy] - To spare a legend is to carry its shadow. Mythical beasts are less likely to view you as hostile. You gain a faint impression of the beast's intent.

Skill stacked: [King of the River - Rainbow Catfish] Freshwater creatures no longer register you as prey unless actively provoked. You also regenerate +10% stamina when in freshwater.

Quest Chain Unlocked: [The Mercy Ledger: Beasts] You have encountered a mythical beast, and instead of slaying it you chose mercy. You have found 1/??? beasts. To grow your power, observe other mythical beasts. This is a [Hidden] quest and is unsharable.]

"That was sick! Did you get the [Achievement]? You're going to have to introduce me to Tandy. I have to join your team." Ash was no longer hiding, no longer slumped. His apology and power flare forgotten as he dove into the excitement of a new [Achievement].

I bent down to pick up Richard. "You okay?" He looked less slimy than usual, and his normal bright yellow was muted. He slowly pulsed his body, climbing my arm, and wrapping around my shoulder to settle in his normal spot.

I'm tired.

The words carried an exhausted quality that I'd never heard from my friend.

"Rest, I think we're just going to lie in the sun for the rest of the afternoon." I told him.

Richard leaned close, giving a barely audible burble of agreement. I sat back down, tuning out Ash babbling about his skills. With Richard nestled around my neck, I looked out at the Tigra. Whitecaps formed and broke. A branch floated by. It was beautiful.

A long, wet slurp was the only warning I had as Richard licked my ear.

Just a little reminder that I won the bet.