HERE'S WHERE I'M AT THIS WEEK...

Hello, Upper Tier Gang. Thought I'd just do a quick blog post just for you lot, and give you a bit of an update on... well, everything I have swirling around my head.

Firstly, thanks for all the nice messages for Sanja. She finally tested negative today, but is still feeling rough AF and washed out. Hopefully all that will pass soon.

Touch wood... I seem to have somehow avoided it again, so go, go, Super Immune System!

However, I'm going to suggest moving Biffo's Brain - again - to early next week, probably Tuesday evening, to kick off the week. Sorry we've struggled to stick a landing on this next one. It has been a bit out of our control. 

I'm hoping we will get a BYAMPOD and Writer's Club recorded before the weekend, though. And then next week, we'll be back to a regular Digi schedule. 

DIGI STUFF

In terms of other stuff... I confess we did have a discussion this week about Digi Live, and whether to go ahead with it. 

As I've said before, I think we bit off more than we can chew in terms of the two day thing. It's a big commitment for people, and we're a tiny channel (with a ridiculously supportive and enthusiastic audience). I'd hoped that it being a Digi 30th anniversary celebration might get bums on seats, but sales remain slow and disappointing. Also: I'm terrible at marketing. I just want to do stuff - not have to tell people about it!!!

Cost of living aside, I also don't think it helped that there was a Cheapshow live show both last year and back in Feb. There's obviously a fair bit of crossover with Paul and Eli's audience. 

However, we've done the maths, and even with current sales we're likely to turn a modest profit on the Saturday, which should just cover losses from the Friday. It might mean we have to cut back on our level of ambition and production expenses, but we're good at being creative with limited resources. I can confirm that both nights are definitely going ahead.

When Digi Level 2 comes out we might be able to shift a few more tickets, so it could yet pick up, and I'm going to start crowing about the guests who are coming, but currently... Friday is looking to be quite the intimate and exclusive show. For those who've been good enough to book tickets for the events of Friday, you'll be among a very special select few. 

Buy them here: 

Friday tickets: https://harrowarts.com/whats-on/calendar/2023-07-28 

Saturday tickets: https://harrowarts.com/whats-on/calendar/2023-07-29 

SEXUAL EALING

As I said last week, I've been in a writer's room for the past couple of days, working in an office at Ealing Studios. I'm at home today, as I needed to catch up on some other work, but back in tomorrow.

I was quite excited to go there - it has A LOT of history - but thus far, all I've seen is the room I've been in, and the car park. I might see if I'm allowed to have a wander during lunch tomorrow.

It has been a weird couple of days in a lot of ways, and provided a lot of fodder for the next few eps of Writer's Club.

We're working with American writers who are well used to the writer's room set-up, but most British writers work in a very different way. Aside from the Americans (and one Canadian), the room was mostly newer writers, then there was me and another very experienced, at a similar lead writer level.

We knew each other's work, and have both been knocking around for years, so we kind of immediately gravitated towards one another. It was fascinating to watch the dynamic at work, as us older writers shared a similar view of the process, while the younger ones seemed more eager to embrace it all and impress those leading the room.

I don't need to recount my work situation over recent times, but right now I'm writing the entire series of a brilliant animated show called Obki, for Sky Kids, I'm doing at least one ep of the CBBC/PBS co-production that I've been discussing this week, and it seems as if - contracts dependent - I'll be writing an episode of CBBC's flagship The Dumping Ground, a series I've kind wanted to get on my CV for years.

As I keep saying, we're not out of the woods yet, but it's a stark contrast to the last two years, and it's going to help fill in the big hole we've found ourselves in.

STIR IT UP

Yet, such is life, that this sudden apparent change doesn't come without stirring things up.

Though I joined Fiverr out of necessity last year, I've grown to really, really love it. Though it doesn't pay anywhere near as well as I'd like - Fiverr take a 20% cut of everything, and I have to price my jobs as low as I can afford - the sheer diversity of projects I get to work on, the people I meet, and the opportunities I get offered, are really exciting.

Today alone I've done work on a pitch for a biographical documentary, a reality cooking show, a scene-by-scene for an animated sci-fi show, a thriller screenplay, and a promo script for Premier League Productions.  

I'm not ambitious. I've no desire to win an Oscar, or anything like that. I just love working on lots of different things. 

However, I was talking to the three less experienced writers on Monday, who were all saying how their careers have skyrocketed since lockdown (Oh! So that's where all my work went!).

One added that she struggles to say no to work, but that the workload she has taken on, and the constant notes, have given her anxiety and heartburn (which ruined a trip away with her husband last weekend). Another worries constantly about money.

I remember when I was working on Almost Never some years back, and we had a family holiday during which was so stressed during it that I couldn't fully enjoy a trip to a water park, because a producer had texted me that morning asking when I was back. Anxiety. 

When Sanja and I went on our honeymoon, I literally got a call, while the plane was waiting to take off, from my executive producer, asking me to do a rewrite. Anxiety. 

Same thing happened on a holiday we took to New York years ago; I spent one of our mornings in bed doing an emergency draft of a script. Anxiety. And irritation.

Plus there was the constant not knowing if the work would keep coming. Before the work actually wasn't there for me, I'd spend the final three months or so of every single year worrying that they'd not want me back, or my shows would get cancelled, or I'd run out of money. 

The stress was kind of constant; the stress of too much work, followed by the stress of not enough. The same cycle every year.

Lest I forget that working in TV literally gave me gastritis - which only now, years later, seems to be under control. Yes: even after the past year we've had! I found all that somehow LESS stressful than working in TV! My guts actually got better!

This past couple of weeks, having been forced to take time away because the new writers have taken all the jobs that I would've been offered previously, has made me question whether I want to put myself through it all again. I'm not saying I don't, but I am asking myself the best way to re-enter that arena that works for me.

I love writing. I absolutely love it. I know it's the thing I do best. I've not fallen out of love with writing in the slightest. Yet I'm questioning how much I love working in TV. Honestly, I had probably started to ask myself those questions long before three years ago. 

Sanja said to me yesterday that it was like being dumped... and then your ex gets in touch years later saying they made a mistake, and realised how much they still love you, but... you've changed. You're a different person. And you've had time away to see that maybe the relationship wasn't so good. 

I know I'm a different person to the one I was three years ago, when Covid first struck. I've gained a grandson. Lost a dad. I have different priorities. 

SO ANYWAY...

And then... I was talking to the other experienced writer who was REALLY lovely about my work. I hope this doesn't come across like showing off, but he literally called me - and I quote - "A legend of kids TV, and the gold standard for children's writers". He was stunned I've had hardly any work for the past few years, assuming they would've been throwing projects my way.

Also, I'm still signed up for Google alerts for my show "4 O'Clock Club", and got one yesterday with a headline from The Sun (ugh) calling it "legendary".

Twice in two days I, or something I co-created, got called legendary... And that made me think again. Much as I love Fiverr, I'm not above feeling pride. Working on anonymously on there isn't that far removed from being a sperm donor. 

I mean, I'm loving working on Obki. It's totally different to the CBBC shows I've worked on in the past. I'm mostly dealing with animators (one of whom is a classic era Digi fan) who I feel much more at home with.

I've done good work - great work, probably - as a kids TV writer. I know I'm good at it, and I continue to want to do it, but I also feel burned by the industry. It treated me well for years, and then dropped me without warning, seemingly for younger, prettier, things. And now it wants me back? I dunno how to process that. 

And then meeting some of the people who've been getting the jobs during the three years I've struggled to make ends meet, but also seeing the toll that's already taking on them... Do I want that again? Is this what every writer goes through eventually? What's the alternative, when I still need to earn money, and would still like to write things that get made? 

My head is reeling.

And that's where I'm at this week.

Next week I'll talk about the future of Digitiser...