BIG LIFE AND WORK AND DIGI AND BYAMPOD UPDATE

Hello, you lot.

Sorry there’s been no Digi video yet this week. You’ll get one (plus there’ll hopefully be Writer’s Club, Biffo’s Brain, outtakes for upper tiers, BYAMPOD, and a BYAMPOD bonus) – we’re just running late, as I had some work stuff to finish up.

We’ve decided to slightly mix things up a bit behind-the-scenes on the channel. Nothing you’ll really notice on screen (though we’re experimenting with where and when the Patron names appear), but we’re going to be trying a few things out to make production easier for us to get you videos early, and also to see if we can spread the word a bit more. So, hang in there!

Firstly, we’re going to start banking our episodes. We used to do this back when Gannon was a regular on the channel, but we got out of the habit for some reason. So, tomorrow we plan to film three very different videos at the desk.

Also, something we’ve noticed over time is how much better longer videos do for us. It cuts against all the perceived wisdom of YouTube that “shorter = better”… but whenever we do a video under 30 minutes, we’ve seen that they don’t do as well. We did a bit of research into this, and discovered that YouTube’s poxy algorithm actually favours longer videos – and pumps them into its feed, because the average watch time is generally higher.

So! Expect some more longer videos mixed in among the shorter ones. We’ve been planning a Valentine’s Day special today, which will be a mix of out-and-about and at-the-desk stuff. It’s much easier to do bigger, more involved, videos if we have the regular weekly ones already in the can. It’s all just going to make life easier going forwards into Digi Level 2.

Talking of similar such things… Digi Live Weekend.

THE BIG GAMBLE

It was always going to be a gamble doing two days, and I admit that ticket sales haven’t been as strong as they were for past Digi Live events at this point. This is, I suspect, a combination of the fact people are having to stay over – for those coming from afar, accommodation is an added expense on top of travel and tickets – and the current cost of living.

We are about probably just over a third sold out for the Saturday night, though Friday’s sale are – frankly – a bit shit. Which may also be because people don’t really get that Friday will be as much of a show as the Saturday.

We’ve a way to go yet until the summer, we haven’t fully promoted it with a trailer etc. yet, and things could and should pick up when people are paid towards the end of the month, but obviously if we can’t afford to break even we will have to make some difficult decisions. Money’s tight as it is without adding more to our debt pile. Having had one unrelentingly dreadful year, I don’t really want to spend the next six months with a bunch of unnecessary stress hanging over me!

If you can’t afford it, of course we understand, but if you’re hesitating for any reason, or just haven’t gotten around to it… there’s now a Facebook group for people to offer/ask for lifts, find cheap accommodation, and get other questions answered. Plus there’s an FAQ on www.digitiser2000.com

Ticket links can be found there.

IN OTHER NEWS

Some of you have been wondering how I’m doing after last year. I started this year with the hope that I would stop whingeing. I mean, I know it’s not whingeing – talking or writing about it is therapy, it’s processing. It’s how I sort through things. But I did worry that many of you would just find it unremittingly grim, and be turned off by it. Nevertheless, it is what it is, and it takes time to work through this stuff.

Thus far, 2023 has been okay – in the sense that there hasn’t been any great disaster to befall us yet. Fiverr has been an absolute godsend. We’re a long way from being out of the hole the past three years have left us in, but we’re more or less covering the bills.

However, in all honesty I’ve been struggling a bit. It was strange how it took a while for the full impact of last year to hit me, and as those of you who’ve listened to BYAMPOD know, everything caught up with me on Christmas Eve. Since then, I’ve been a bit up and down. Some days I’m okay. Others, I just feel… well… y’know. It’s been hard. My dad didn’t die in a ‘nice’ way – he suffered a lot, not only in the two months leading up to his death, but in the two years before that. That’s probably the main thing that I’m currently dealing with; just the trauma of seeing him suffer so much.

It was difficult over the past six months to always find the will to be creative. I put stuff off and dragged my heels in ways that I never had before (I’ve felt immense guilt over the paintings I was commissioned to do, right before he died – though one is done, one is half done, and the other will be next). My mother was a constant worry. There were distractions and fires to put out every single day. It stopped me feeling my grief, though there was also probably a bit of denial mixed in there.

At least, until Christmas Eve. Since then, my creativity has returned in stuttering bursts. I’ve been enjoying making stuff. It’s a lovely distraction while my brain continues to churn through my emotions in the background. Other days I don’t want to do anything, while the thought of socialising, having to put on an upbeat face – even with my best friends – fills me with anxiety.

Atop that, there’s the emotional fallout from the sudden, kind of inexplicable, full stop my career came to. Some of this I’ve spoken about on Writer’s Club, some in Patreon videos, but because it took a while for it to sink in, it’s only now that I’m kind of grieving that too. They call it ‘ego death’, right?

Plus, before now there was panicked damage limitation, which kind of postponed my ability to really feel it. Last summer, I spent every day applying for jobs – real, proper, day jobs – but heard little back. Feelers I put out about TV work came to nothing.

It was bleak, and I’m still staring that bleakness in the face. It’s scary to have a career of almost 25 years ripped suddenly away, and I know I haven’t yet come to terms with it – or really gotten to the bottom of what exactly I’m feeling about it. It seems inexplicable to me – that a writer as good as I know I am, with a track record like I have, can’t find work. It has made me question everything about myself, right up to my age being a contributing factor. I can’t wrap my head around it.

BIFFBA'S PRIDE

Fortunately, I swallowed a lot of pride, and took the leap to Fiverr, and – to my surprise – not only can I make a living through it, but I love working on there. I’m earning a fraction of what I once was, but I’ve a greater level of job satisfaction, and vastly reduced stress than working in TV. Plus, getting lovely reviews, and repeat orders from clients, has helped restore some of the faith I’d started to lose in my writing abilities.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t ever go back to telly writing. There are a few things floating around that I might be doing, but I don’t think I’d ever go back to putting all of my eggs in that basket. Too unpredictable, too risky, too stressful.

But that does bring me back to the Digi Weekend… IF we can make it pay for itself, and make a little money on top, we’ll be in a much better position than we were a year ago. Believe it or not, we have plans beyond that - Found Footage 2, the Digitiser Book, possible other live events – as part of an ongoing strategy as to how Digi can really become part of our income. But… it all starts with the Digi 30th Anniversary Weekend. So, we’ll see. We really hope to see lots of you there.

Right. I refuse to end this on any sort of downbeat note. I'm hopeful for what this year might bring - whether it's Digi, BYAMPOD, family, work. There's still that part of me that remains an eternal optimist that things are sent to teach us lessons - and that everything happens for a reason. There's so much I'm grateful for; a lovely family, a wonderful wife, a BRILLIANT chubby grandson, and a couple of amazing fanbases in the shape of you lot.

Upwards! 

Paul