THE IMPORTANCE OF DOING DIGI

I've sometimes alluded to my day job, but rarely talked about it openly. I have started doing so a little more of late - in fact, I recorded an episode of Barshens a couple of weeks ago, and talked almost exclusively about writing kids' TV, which made a refreshing change from talking about Digitiser and old games. It has even gone the other way, and I've recently added Found Footage and Digitiser The Show to my day job CV. 

So, why only now? Early on, when I was trying to establish myself in TV, and particularly when I first had some limited success in the area, I got a lot of weird reactions from people. 

My parents, much as I love them, never really viewed it as a legitimate career path. Friends either didn't understand it - and would rarely mention it - or, slightly too often, react with a degree of passive-aggressive jealousy. It seemed that even simply mentioning that I wrote scripts was somehow interpreted as "showing off". 

Added to this was how soon I became aware that just because it looks as if something you've written might get made into a TV show... don't believe it until it's actually on screen. Talking about something before it happens, and then when it -  more often than not in TV - doesn't happen, sort of made me look like an amateur. And some acquaintances, and even family members, took a degree of delight in my perceived failure. 

It's a job, I guess, that a lot of people wish they had. I mean, from my perspective - that sort of romantic, Byronic, ideal of writing has never been the case. It's a shit-ton of hard work, it's stressful, it's insecure and soul-destroying, and the pay - certainly in kids' TV - isn't life-changing, so I have to take on more than I would do otherwise. It's far, far from glamorous. 

Don't get me wrong: I wouldn't change what I do. Despite the above, I love it. It's a privilege. I'm pleased to have work. It fits with me. Plus, I'm of an age now that I don't think a career change is even doable, even if I wanted to!

Nonetheless, because of the reactions I'd get, over time I simply stopped mentioning my job to people, even as I got established in kids' TV, and had my own shows commissioned. On the occasions I've been nominated for awards, I gradually stopped telling people about them. I don't think my family even know about the last couple of times I got a BAFTA nomination.

I've been writing for TV for so long now - close to 20 years that I've been making a living out of it - and, with a such a long and varied CV, that self-depreciation isn't going to cut it anymore. I've done alright, on paper and on screen, even if my bank account doesn't reflect that. 

Nonetheless, when I brought back Mr Biffo and Digi, I worried that people would think that I earned tons of money, and wouldn't want to support me. 

Candidly, mainly due to being somewhat over-generous to my ex-wife when we split up - because I didn't want my kids to worry about her - I have eyewatering overheads. 

I bought out her share of the house, and it pretty much tripled the mortgage. That, coupled to the lack of a regular income - I tend to get paid in fits and spurts throughout the year, and never at predictable times - means it tends to be feast or famine. When I do get paid, I'm making up for the months when I'm not. To be honest, I'm also still paying for the years at the start of my career where I was still adjusting to not having a regular monthly wage. 

Of course, the other thing that working in TV means is that you can have the plug pulled on projects in the blink of an eye. 

I've been incredibly lucky that I've been lead writer on a number of long-running shows, but we recently got asked to start winding up the longest running of them all - 4 O'Clock Club. By the time it ends, I'll have been working on it for as long as I did the original Digitiser, and I'd be lying if I said that losing it isn't going to be a hard adjustment. 

Don't get me wrong - I know how fortunate I've been; TV shows, least of all kids' shows, simply don't last that long.

In fact, when I first got asked to help develop 4OCC, I negotiated it so that, in lieu of some of the format rights, I'd instead be guaranteed a certain number of episodes per series. It's probably one of the canniest business decisions I ever made, but it does mean that - while I've been able to rely on it for ten years - I'll be going back into the wilderness as a jobbing writing, touting for work, and having to pitch ideas.

I've got another show on air at the minute, Almost Never, and I'm currently working on the second series of that, but as stated... if you're lucky, most shows might get five series. 4 O'Clock Club is on its ninth. Unfortunately, such knowledge doesn't do much to prevent the inevitable feeling of grief about it going away.

This is a long-winded way of saying... thank you, as ever, for supporting me on here, and on Kickstarter, or wherever. 

Frankly, I simply couldn't do it without some sort of steady income. Patreon doesn't bring in a living wage (to borrow a phrase), but it does give me a degree of safety - and allows me to (as I have done recently) invest in new sound/camera gear, and pick up some interesting bits and bobs from eBay to talk about in videos. And yes, on occasion, pay my bills during the lean months.

It's just enough of a safety net to stop me having to look for a different, more regular, income that would doubtless, once again, mean that I'd have to stop doing all this stuff. 

More importantly, as much of a sucker-punch as it is that I will soon lose one relatively secure source of money, Digitiser - in all its many forms - and your ongoing support, has helped to soften the blow on an emotional level.

I mean, I'm still miserable about it, and there's a cloud of uncertainty on the horizon, but I don't feel quite as bereft about it as I might've done.

So, thank you. It means the world. 

Paul