Love In The Air Episode 3 (Full Reaction)
Added 2023-01-22 06:27:10 +0000 UTCDefinitely an improvement with Payu this episode but Rain was still really annoying and cringe in the first half lol. Happy to not have anymore uncomfortable intimate scenes and glad to see more of a wholesome, wise and sweet side to Payu.
We both really enjoyed seeing some depth in Rain FINALLY after what happened with his late assignment. Also really appreciated the life talk and tough love that Payu gave rain about the importance of being responsible and that he should take the loss and just focus on doing better next time.
Hope the characters continue to grow in that direction! Especially Payu! We want him to grow up LOL. His naivety is oftentimes way too over the the top to be believable, but seeing him process his disappointment with the late assignment really helped us relate to him as a character a lot more.
Still not loving the show overall, but it's def getting better!
Comments
Sorry that this happened! I understand that you didn't have any malice intended and that you struggle to perceive these things even after reading it back again. I understand where both you and Claudia are coming from. The best thing we can do is point things out when something isn't right, which I feel is what Claudia was trying to do. I think you both had good intentions, it's just that things were lost in translation and misunderstood.
BL Besties TV
2023-01-31 18:25:12 +0000 UTCSee... I get that... What I don't get is how I did it... Because it doesn't read like that to me at all... Which is a HUGE problem for me. I am Neurodivergent and currently beeing tested for Autism and I'm in a lot of group therapy ec so if I did this accidentally IRL it would he a HUGE problem. In my Head I was talking about ME and how my experience makes me read Rain as ADHD and maybe on the spectrum based on my lived experiences. I never called him slow, which seems to be the biggest problem and I just... Don't think I did? I had even said something to you personally how calling Rain stupid made me feel so if I unintentionally did it... Well, it makes me feel like crap. The worst part is that I honestly don't read it like that at all.... I think I should probably ask a friend to get over all the comments with me again and discuss it with me... Sometimes I don't get stuff till my friends explain it to me in the way the found work with me the best. Please tell me every time what I say sounds rude or offensive, I'm trying really hard to work on it!
BaoziBang
2023-01-31 17:48:52 +0000 UTCHelloo! It seems you didn't intend to come off as rude/hurtful by what you said and I understand that you're not sure where that went wrong. You've oversimplified the criteria of what it means to be autistic down to being "slow" and or having trouble understanding things. Assuming someone is mentally disabled based off of such a shallow criteria is just as bad as assuming someones sexuality. It's not your place to make assumptions like that, and it's wrong to reduce a whole community down to those two characteristics. It's offensive because mental disability is much more nuanced than that, and it's offensive because you're basically saying that all autistic people are like this, and they're not. You're making sweeping generalizations and assumptions about a whole community of people, which is why what you said can be considered rude and disrespectful. Especially from Claudia's point a view, because she works with this community every day and knows them well. It's okay to relate things to your own experience, but you have to be careful about making statements that can misrepresent others.
BL Besties TV
2023-01-31 17:40:33 +0000 UTCYoure clearly not reading the right stuff. I honestly dont want to talk to you more about this since youre not actually trying very hard to understand my point. Im just saying to keep those to yourself and whatever canon universe youve decided to create in your mind about a character. And if you can’t do that, you’ll probably see a lot more of me in the comment section because i have no patience or respect for this kind of bullshit. Thanks and have a nice day
Claudia
2023-01-31 17:14:57 +0000 UTC... I am currently undergoing testing for Autism so yes, I did research. There is also a big difference between "putting someone in a box" and "recognizing symptoms and behavior in a fictional character" and discussing this. I also never said he's stupid? I explicitly said calling Rain stupid hurts me because HE REMINDS ME OF ME! I won't discuss this further under here because I don't want discourse under our precious B&P's Patreon. If you want to talk more @BaoziBang
BaoziBang
2023-01-31 17:06:50 +0000 UTCAlso someone being socially awkward and having difficulty understanding stuff is sooooo far from being diagnosed as autistic. Because if those were actual criterias, half of the world would have autism. Please research your stuff before spewing them on the internet. And also dont use the fact that you have difficulty understanding stuff as an excuse for being ignorant, do research next time.
Claudia
2023-01-31 17:02:14 +0000 UTCWhat do you mean you don’t understand how this could be rude? Assuming someone is autistic because you decided they fitted inside that box is rude, because you’re assuming everyone with autism fit in that box. Have you never actually research autism and the criteria for an actual doagnosis in the dsm-5? You should go look it up. Imagine someone saying.. wow youre not really fast… youre probably mentally disabled. Its exactly the same thing than saying and assuming someone is autistic. But i used another type of diagnosis
Claudia
2023-01-31 17:01:18 +0000 UTCI honestly don't understand how what I wrote is rude... I didn't mean what you apparently picked up at all, I was just trying to explain me and my friends viewpoints. The particular part you shown was also mostly in reference to the Kink community not the ND Community. I will have to try to get my point across in a different way from now on if it's so easily misunderstood. Thanks for pointing it out. I still don't get why it's rude though... If someone else also thinks it's rude could y'all help me out? Thank you 💜
BaoziBang
2023-01-31 16:57:23 +0000 UTCbut People more like me can ignore what doesn't fit because, for the most part it's catered to us, but people like you that are "mainstream" can't really feel into the characters because of course you can't, how could you when the cues are inherently differ nt. I don’t remember this show beingcatered for anyone in particular except the bl community. Also ive seen multiple shows where the main character was actually diagnosed with autism… and even as someone in the main stream or whatever that means… ive been able to feel for those character and understand some of the difficulties. Iwasnt confused or misunderstanding just because im “not like them” or whatever.. so yeah.. that was also rude
Claudia
2023-01-31 16:47:29 +0000 UTCit's 100% clear to us. Which made me realize, all her Shows are from MAME for People like MAME Also this… when has MAME mentioned anything about being autistic or having adhd? So yeah, also rude.
Claudia
2023-01-31 16:44:02 +0000 UTCI honestly don't get why you have a Problem with Rain because I also need clarification for basically everything or I easily misunderstand things. In my Case it's because I have ADHD and a touch of the tism, but I think Rain probably does too. It's the way he's written. First of all, misunderstanding stuff and needing clarification is not a criteria for diagnosing autism, someone has to fit in multiple criteria. Did you know that those characteristics are also found in other intellectual disabilities. So yeah assuming every autistic person doesn’t understand much and need constant clarification and explanation was rude.
Claudia
2023-01-31 16:42:58 +0000 UTCI've read through all the comments in this comment section and didn't get that at all so I'm wondering if it's a translation issue and would love if you could point out where it sounds like that.
BaoziBang
2023-01-31 16:28:35 +0000 UTCYoure allowed to disagree with the part about Rain being dumb. But if you’re disagreeing about the part where i say that people with autism are smart and that it was disrespectful and mean to suggest otherwise, well then we’re gonna have an actual problem. Please do think it over.
Claudia
2023-01-31 16:17:00 +0000 UTCI honestly can't disagree with you but I also don't agree? I will have to think about all this some more.
BaoziBang
2023-01-31 15:17:03 +0000 UTCrain has for sure some concentration issues and needs clarification, but I do still think rain can be frustrating at time... everyone is allowed to have difficulty understanding stuff which is why we should ask people questions when we are not sure.... but rain is depicted by the author and the actor as being not very fast, and with rain, the thing is, we all know he's able to act a lot smarter which fuels the frustration. rain is dumb at times and thats not mean, its just facts. i don't think Brian nor Philip don't understand the character, I think they understand him pretty well, its just that they don't have a high tolerance for how he acts sometimes. I also think that saying rain is autistic because of how slow he is, or the fact that he doesn't understand a lot.. Is just plain rude and insulting. im a special need counsellor and I work full time with people that are heavily handicapped by their autism, most of them don't speak and have some difficulty understanding but they are the most intelligent people I've ever met. we are all allowed to our own opinions, no need to get all heated up about it. maybe the word stupid made you uncomfortable or even hurt while watching this episode. but maybe you should think that your association of autism with rain and being slow can be hurtful too. because its honestly hurtful to me, as someone who's job is to protect the integrity of my residents and make sure they are fully respected as human beings. so please, next time.. if you don't have anything nice or valid to write, dont.
Claudia
2023-01-30 00:00:24 +0000 UTCTotally understandable. I'm sorry that it made you uncomfortable. I appreciate that you've also considered where we're coming from and why we felt the way we did. Thank you for that!
BL Besties TV
2023-01-27 18:44:51 +0000 UTCRespectfully, I disagree and actually believe this is exactly why she isn't a good writer. It's the writers job to portray the story to the audience. It's their job to know who their audience is and who they're writing for so they can make sure that audience is resonating with it and understanding it. I think it's beautiful that you know others who also see themselves in these characters. But it think it's also fair to point out that their shared opinions are just a confirmation bias. It still doesn't change the fact that her writing and execution hasn't done a good job of telling the story to a general audience in way where they will understand all of the nuances and intricacies of what you as an ND person are seeing. I'd like to stress that all of this doesn't make the story bad - it just means the good story that you're seeing in it wasn't told well or wasn't done enough justice. I feel that what she's done is a disservice to your community. She's only made it harder for the general audience to understand you and empathize with you, which opens you up to more misunderstandings and misconceptions. As a viewer, you shouldn't have to fight so hard to defend the story to others. The writing and execution should have already voiced all of that for you. A good writer would have given a general audience insights that help them understand you more deeply, rather than cause more confusion.
BL Besties TV
2023-01-27 18:43:49 +0000 UTCAlso, the only thing that was uncomfortable for me was the use of the word stupid, both by Phayu in the episode still now and in your commentary, but I also know y'all were just frustrated because you don't get the character so I didn't take it personally.
BaoziBang
2023-01-27 18:22:36 +0000 UTCWhat I realized about MAME Shows in general is - I don't think she is a bad writer, I think she can't write stories that aren't inherently based on her worldview, which means her stories aren't accessible for the mainstream. I just realized it today, I have a group chat with friends that are also in the community and ND and we, for the most part, all do see all these things in the characters, it's 100% clear to us. Which made me realize, all her Shows are from MAME for People like MAME, but it's still a BL so they are also trying to fit it into the genre and that doesn't mix well but People more like me can ignore what doesn't fit because, for the most part it's catered to us, but people like you that are "mainstream" can't really feel into the characters because of course you can't, how could you when the cues are inherently differ nt. Idk if I explained that right, it wa s just an epiphany I had.
BaoziBang
2023-01-27 18:18:45 +0000 UTCIt’s fine to have theories about the characters and have things in our own head-cannon that help fill in the blanks to explain what’s going on. I would totally sympathize and empathize with his character more if that’s how the show presented him. But good storytelling needs to be clear to everyone, not just to viewers who see themselves in the characters who can fill in the blanks themselves. Just like you, as viewers we need clarification on things. This also applies to the theory about them having a Brat/Tamer relationship. We shouldn’t have to read between the lines or make our own assumptions just to explain their actions or behavior. We shouldn’t need someone from those communities to explain it to us either in order for us to the understand. The show and the writing should do that on its own but it doesn’t. Unless the show explicitly states or portrays him as a neurodivergent person and does a good job at showing it, there’s no reason for a neurotypical viewer to think or assume that he is. This is all why we had the reactions that we had. The show and the story is just not executed well.
BL Besties TV
2023-01-27 18:11:25 +0000 UTCThe theory of Rain possibly being on the spectrum makes sense, but this is not explicitly how he is presented and portrayed in the show. If that were the case, it would be a different story and we would feel differently about the character and understand where he’s coming from. This is again an issue with the execution of the show and how the story is handled. That’s where our criticism comes from. We’re reacting to what’s presented and what the show is giving us. It’s our honest, gut reaction to what we’re experiencing.
BL Besties TV
2023-01-27 18:11:09 +0000 UTCThat’s totally valid and I hadn’t considered that. Personally for us it just felt like his moments of being clueless and naive felt overly exaggerated, which makes it hard for us to latch on to the character and see him as believable. There’s nothing in the show that shows us or explains why certain things are particularly hard for him. We just find it hard to relate to him because for us the solution to his problems seem obvious and right in front of him. It’s valid that people like him but we just don’t feel the same way. I’m sorry if it hurt or offended you because it’s totally understandable that you struggle with those types of things, which helps you resonate with the character. Totally not our intention and I’m sorry that we didn’t consider that. We don’t want to invalidate your experience with these characters and this show. We just feel differently than you do, and that’s okay too.
BL Besties TV
2023-01-27 18:10:50 +0000 UTCOn the other Hand as someone who's Neurodivergent & in the community I watch the Show from a totally different Viewpoint than you which is Really interesting!
BaoziBang
2023-01-27 17:12:24 +0000 UTCJust FYI, I know ALOT of People like Rain. He's pretty smart actually, but book smart, he never had a actual crush before, never dated and managed to get into a dom/sub-ship without having any idea what everything Phayu does actually means so of course he's confused AF. I honestly don't get why you have a Problem with Rain because I also need clarification for basically everything or I easily misunderstand things. In my Case it's because I have ADHD and a touch of the tism, but I think Rain probably does too. It's the way he's written.
BaoziBang
2023-01-27 17:01:13 +0000 UTCno need to be sorry! Def a valid feeling. I've learned that she's also an SA survivor so it comes out a lot in her writing but the problem is that her execution is always sloppy and not really well done. It's the reason why people commonly feel that she normalizes/romanticizes it. I definitely agree that it can feel out of place when the couple doesn't really have that kind of dynamic. I haven't watched Love By Chance or Don't Say No yet but I will keep that in mind in the future if I end up checking them out hhaha.
BL Besties TV
2023-01-24 01:06:36 +0000 UTChaha glad to hear it! LOL we were also told that Rain has less screen time once it switches over PaiSky so that's good too LOL
BL Besties TV
2023-01-24 01:04:27 +0000 UTCI think from here on out it gets a lot better overall. No promises with Rain though. When PaiSky's story starts there are a couple times I want to bonk him on the head with frustration.
kisa1909
2023-01-23 15:03:51 +0000 UTCSorryy for the rant but WHY does Mame always feel the need to include SA in her stories AND normalize/romanticize it, even in the shows where the main couples do have a normal and even pretty healthy relationship (Love By Chance, Don‘t Say No)? Like, she is obviously capable of writing compelling characters and a normal love story but she choses to still do stuff like this? Everyone seems to love the Pete and Ae storyline in LBC and they were just cute all the time. So WHYYY????
Elise
2023-01-23 11:57:16 +0000 UTC
