THE HOVEL--August Newsletter

Hello lovelies,

It is once again the beginning of a new month! Well, it’s closer to the middle, but I’m only just now sitting down to write out my newsletter.

I’m writing this on a train, which, as an American who hasn’t spent much time outside of my own country, remains a novelty. I’ve spent a lot of time in cars, and on planes, but I can count my train rides on one hand. It feel slow. There’s something unhurried and antiquated about American trains. They’re bulky, running on tracks built for long lines of freight cars. The scenery out the window doesn’t rush by, but seems to meander, slowly rolling through the Pacific Northwest’s greenery.

I’m taking the train from Portland to Seattle after the weekend of Rose City Comic Con. I’m on my way to spend a few days with friends I haven’t seen in a very long time—taking a few days away, just for myself, and trying very hard not to stress about the time I’m losing from Writing and Drawing. It’s important to take breaks. I preach that all the time, but it does feel like a theft of sorts, time reallocated without consideration to how precious my working hours are. I won’t be able to make up those hours, I know that, but a few months or a year from now, I won’t regret losing them either. Time away from creativity is not time wasted. I just wish my anxiety knew that.

PROGRESS BAR

August was a productive month! I spent most of it inside, tucked into the corner of my room that’s set aside for work. I don’t have my visual aids with me while I’m away, though, so you’ll have to imagine all of the boxes I’ve checked off.

PURGATORY

This month I started re-writing Purgatory. I think this step is what makes a lot of people hesitate starting to work on their story. The idea of having to do it twice is daunting, especially when that first draft takes so much effort. Writing it the first time was the scary part for me. I wasn’t sure yet that I was capable of spending so much time and attention on a piece of prose. Now, I feel confident that I can write a better version of it—or, at least, I can write a different version of it with more of the missing parts filled in.

In August, I wrote about 25k words of a second draft after finishing a 16k word outline. This second-draft outline is where I started to see it as a connected whole. I feel like I have the puzzle now in front of me, and I can start sorting through colors and slotting together pieces.

The second draft has been tough. At first, I was trying to make every passage sound polished. I thought that because I had written this book once, the second draft should be where I clean it up. This worked really well for the parts that carried over from the first draft. I have a few scenes now that I am proud of, that sound close to how I’d like the book to feel when read aloud. But I realized that a lot of the chapters I’m now working on are still on their first draft. It isn’t fair of me to view them with the same eye as what has already been put to paper. I’m doing my best to let go of that notion, but it is hard. The way prose feels is REALLY important to me as a reader, and I want my own book to live up to my own standards. I’m capable, I know that I am, but I need to write it first, before I can make it perfect.

HEARTACH

I think sometimes it might sound like all of my attention is going to PURGATORY, and a LOT of it is, but a lot of my attention is also on my graphic novel.

One of the most frustrating things about working on a long-form drawing project, is that you get better at is as you go along. I’m about 60 pages into lineart, and I just now feel like I’m understanding my own style. I’ve settled into it. The characters have started to make sense to my hand, and the way I use line has become more consistent page over page. Because of this, though, I was bothered by the look and feel of a handful of my early pages. I ended up re-drawing about seven of them, and I’ll likely go back over a few more before I’m entirely finished with the book. I don’t like that I’m having to do that, but it’s easier now that I’ve gotten used to the style I’m working in. I don’t need HEARTACHE to be perfect but I do want it to feel a certain way. If I’m going to spend this much time on it, I want to be proud of what I’ve made.

I’m getting into the groove on this book. I’m in the work of it, the part where a lot of the decisions are already made and now I just have to carry them out. I’m beginning to find a routine in it, and my page count has grown into something that looks impressive. It’s becoming a solid stack of papers. I’m tempted to share every single page with all of you, but I don’t think my publisher would appreciate that much. In the meantime, I’ll keep sharing snippets of my favorite pages.

I love drawing the rat. Her name is Bradley.

THE LIFE

When I planted tomatoes in the spring, I was coming from a few failed years of trying to grow them on my porch, and a couple of failed years of growing them in a friend’s garden. I wasn’t expecting much, but I enjoy growing plants. I wanted to try my apartment’s community garden plot and see if I could get more yield. I did not anticipate the sheer NUMBER of tomatoes two plants could produce. I’m delighted. I’ve eaten so much caprese salad, and so many just raw tomatoes as snacks. I’ve brought buckets of cherry tomatoes to DND and delivered handfuls to friends. Tomatoes are one of my favorite foods, and they’re so much more flavorful grown in a garden (why that is, is a whole other discussion I’m wholly unqualified for.) I’m so happy that I decided to plant tomatoes. I’m a little sad my Pepper plants seem to have been outcompeted by them, but more importantly, I’m just glad to see something that I put effort into yield growth.

In a time where I’m working on a long-form things that won’t likely see the light of day for years, it’s heartening to have grown something in a few months. I’ve loved seeing these plants change from the little seedlings I initially planted to the absolute monsters they’ve turned into. It’s bringing me a lot of joy right now.

This is not my American flag, it's my garden plot neighbors. It's important that you know that.

there are tomato cages in there somewhere, all swallowed up!

JAR OF BUTTONS

READING:

I read eight books this month again (again!!). This is in a large part because I’m at a part of HEARTACHE where I can listen to audiobooks and draw at the same time. This means that a LOT of my day is spent with headphones on, and a book in my ear. This is also why I love this stage of the Graphic novel process. I can consume a lot of media.

-Witchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady Hendrix: This was my first Grady Hendrix book, and I really loved it. It felt well-researched and sympathetic.

-Aftertaste by Daria Lavelle: I did LIKE this book but I did not LOVE this book, and I think that’s all I’ll say about it. I’m not a book reviewer; I’m just a book enjoyer.

-Piranesi by Susanna Clarke: I LOVED. THIS BOOK. I’m a sucker for a portal fantasy—Alice in Wonderland, the Wizard of Oz, the Labyrinth (yes, that David Bowie movie) are all some of my favorite childhood stories. Piranesi took that trope and made something entirely unique. It was a long form musing on how we change in isolation, how we return as a different person. I was attached to it from the very beginning.

-A Prayer for the Crown Shy by Becky Chambers: the second Monk and Robot Novella! I love Becky Chambers. I love how soft her stories are, and I fall so easily into them. I also need to be told it's okay to take a break, so this little duology was so special to me.

-The Unmaking of June Farrow by Adrienne Young: I thought this was going to be a different type of book, but I picked it up because it promised small-town magic, and a flower farm. I think it was lovely, even though it felt like it wasn’t entirely for me.

-The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice: I have been trying to read more Anne Rice since the first time I read IWTV as a teenager, but I always manage to just re-read that one, perfect book. I have mixed feelings about Lestat. I’m comparing it’s relationship to IWTV to that of Alien and Aliens, it’s a book with an entirely different heart, a different genre. That isn’t a bad thing, it just is. I don’t know if I’ll end up reading Queen of the Damned. Someday, maybe, but I need to sit with Lestat for a little while longer.

-The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wild: Another Classic! I’m doing it! This is obviously a classic for a reason. It’s so queer, and so well written. I love a descent into chaos story. I love a Faustian deal. This book does both.

-Gutter Mage by J.S. Kelley: this book was the biggest disappointment of the month, and not because I didn’t enjoy it—because I LOVED it. I wanted more of this character, I wanted to read the rest of the series. It works as a standalone, but so much of the world is left open for more books. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like it did well enough for it to turn into a series. I would like to encourage you to read it so that maybe. MAYBE, it will get a resurgence.

WOOF, I think I’ll leave my jar of buttons there. I don’t have the brain to think of the other things that are bringing me Joy right now. Books have become a bit of a fixation for me—I need the escapism, desperately, and finding myself in written worlds has been the perfect departure from reality.

OUTRO

Lovelies, life just keeps persisting. September is well on its way, and I feel like I’ve barely been able to start anything. Time is slipping by, one day at a time, and I’m doing my best to take it in the same way: One day at a time.

I’ve over-promised myself this month. I can already feel it tugging at me, pulling my attention in different directions, buzzing through me like static. This is either the nature of a creative career, or it’s the nature me, as a person. I think, about once a year, I tend to find myself in this kind of crisis. I’ll get through it. Some deadlines will be pushed back, and some promises will be delayed. I am only one person. All I can do is communicate my failings and move forward to correct them.

It’s the last month of Summer, the last breath of warmth before the chill begins to take hold. I’m looking forward to it. The in-between months are my favorite. They always feel so full of potential.

Happy late summer, dears.

Warmly,

Kelsi Jo