Half in the Bag: The 70-Minute Rise of Skywalker Review

I remember watching Dark Knight and couldn't enjoy it as my friends since it was so messy. Joker was always on the run producing new crisis and I didn't get the overreaching thread. I'm just thankful we got some reasons and explanation in this movie that has been unanswered for so many years. And it was a fun adventure which included C-3PO, Ray finally showed her powers, Leia was a master (nice to see a woman teaching another woman), Poe racing Falcon as never before, Chewie got his medallion (Leia hold it in her hand when she died), Palpatine pops up like an undying super villain from a space soap (and that's what Star Wars is). But there are many cracks like Finn (what would he say and do?), riding horses against an undestroyable tower (??), ships not able to leave, "16 hours to attack", flat lines, when Palpatine died everything got destroyed (??)

Carl Emmoth

I'm pretty sure that was the explaination of the emperor in OT. That was just a clone.

Carl Emmoth

They actually mention him in their Critters ReView, suggesting Billy Zane revive his role in the series wearing some similar kind of armor lol

Drew Soff

Not sure if you guys will read this but I was recently reminded of the documentary "Project Grizzly" about the canadian inventor that was trying to invent armor that could withstand a bear attack and found out he passed away a couple years ago in a car accident. Thought it would make a good ReView and I figured chances are good at least one of you have seen it before. It's free on Youtube. Anyway, uh star wars. yeah.

Nevvo

"This is all horribly uninteresting." That's an astounding statement on all of Star Wars now.

Rick Drake

Merry Christmas ya filthy animal’s

Quinn A

You know, it's always amazing to me how other youtube creators can do a 70 minute review and it's not nearly as interesting, entertaining, or as smart as what RLM does. I think it's the chemistry of Mike, Jay, Rich, and whoever the fourth member is (Jack, Josh, Mac, the Canadians, Tim, etc) that makes it so great.

AllGoodNamesRGone

When I saw the 'death star tech' battering ram in The Last Jedi I knew at that moment they would put another Death Star in every movie even if they have to change it to cover how on the nose that would be. Low and behold I was right. Also I think the RLM guys don't give themselves enough credit and the movie too much because I never intended to see the movie before their review.

The article https://stratechery.com/2019/disney-and-the-future-of-tv/ is quite interesting as well. Lucas, Coppola, Scorsese emerged from the ashes of the studio system. Now Disney once again has close to monopoly on family friendly content + distribution. RoS may yet turn out to be a Rogue One type hiccup for the mouse empire, because my gawd I f*ing LUV baby yoda!!!

Giwan Kim

All of this especially frustrating since we know form "Overlord" that JJ and Bad Robot have people who can tell stories. Upon reflection I believe that some of the most atrocious aspects of the film were due to cross promotion across the theme park and merchandising divisions. Can't minimize the significance of the lightsaber when it is designed to be such a big part of the park experience! Hence, the ghost of Billy Mays past hands Rey the lightsaber. Is the lightspeed skipping supposed to be reminiscent of a ride at DLand/DWorld? Take a look at Walt Disney's chart that lays out the plans to the (Death Star): https://stratechery.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/disney-2-thumb-580x507-4071.jpeg

Giwan Kim

I haven't watched any of these Disney star wars movies, but is Palpatine really in them? What a dumb, pandering writing decision.

Max Eliaser

I still cannot stop thinking about how stupid the exaggerated force lightning was. Especially as they showed Palpatine's real power in having such control over life force he could just drain it at will, why do that? In fact, once Palpatine did that, it seemed to me like any other offense he had used before was merely toying around, which was pretty awesome, but then they ruined it with the dumb force lighting.

David Perek

Are you implying that taking a mortgage on your house to watch a movie at the theatre with friends and family is a bad option compared to just paying around 10$ to have netflix for everyone? :D

Michael Matzat

Watching this bad Star Wars movie brought back nostalgic memories of watching bad Star Wars movies when I was kid.

Josh Wright

With Rich giggling for 3 hours?

Haha, no one sits on the fence like Disney and still gets credit for being progressive. So phony and fake!

Thinking about it more and more, I think the editing on this movie was terrible, and that was the main source of confusion, even more than the script. It might be the opposite of the original Star Wars film.

David Perek

Extra Best of the Worst or Christmas Commentary track coming I wonder?

Gar Kelleher

The best thing about this is Jay's uncontrollable, stifled laughter while Mike and Rich nitpick (the good kind of nitpicking).

Twit In A Hat

Three words: Team Negative One.

Twit In A Hat

"Passive progressive," bravo sirs. That's getting added to my lexicon!

Jessie Leigh

Saw RoS in prep for this episode tonight. I brought an 8oz flask of single malt with me. The intent was take a sip every time there was a nostalgia scene. The damn thing didn't even last 40 minutes into the movie. Honestly.....Cats was better. I can take batshit crazy. Otherwise then a few moments this movie was painful.

Kellic

Nothing sits hate more than watching it twice. :D

Michael Matzat

I only watched this out of wanting to complete this. I also felt like it was five movies pushed into one and many times I felt like it was more of a amusmentpark stunt show with Star Wars themes. Most positiv thought I had all the way during the movie was „Rey is hot“. Star Wars is dead. The best thing that can happen is that Disney releases the thx (pre added cgi/scenes) versions of the original three movies so I don’t just have them on German vhs only anymore. I strongly feel like Adam driver will be the only one that has a career beyond rehashing Star Wars from now on. It’s sort of a silly call to make because it’s the thing that already happened the last couple of years but yeah. He’s great.

Michael Matzat

Still loved the review though.

Gar Kelleher

After seeing the film there's def a huge case of "gotta seen to be hating on it no matter what!!!!" from people. It was whatever, it was fine...they had to just end it.

Gar Kelleher

I had a lot of fun of this but seriously going forward they need to start doing their own thing.

David Banes

I hated most of this movie. The second time around I removed my brain, took multiple bathroom/smoke breaks and drank lots of bourbon. It made this expensive mess almost pretty bearable.

Isolated Thunderstorms

I watched the film last night, then saw HiTB. Oh gawd. Now I am reminded of Eddie Murphy Holiday Baking Championship skit from SNL. Tragedy plus time... "I don't feel at home in this world anymore."

Giwan Kim

When did Mike mention having health problems?

Jacob

Excellent Review, Guys! I wanted to say how much I appreciate all the hard work you three do, and I'm proud to donate every month! Your videos are a highlight and always make me laugh, especially when it is in (The famous) Rich Evan's expense. Thank you for all the great videos this year, and I can't wait to see what you guys post in 2020. Happy Holidays to everyone on Patreon and RLM!

Thanks guys. Always appreciate your insights into movies and the discussion and conversation is always good. Keep up the good work

Seo Hurley

Mike on TFA in 2015: “I loved it, it was everything I hoped it would be.” Mike on TLJ in 2017: “that was the magic of Star Wars and now it’s gone.” Mike on TROS in 2019: “if you legitimately like this movie you have a low IQ.”

Josh Platanitis

You know there is an example of Disney failing at establishing a franchise and selling it back at a much lower cost: Power Rangers. That won't happen with Star Wars because it is very profitable, but there is precedent.

AllGoodNamesRGone

My Christmas wish is for George Lucas to just come out and say "yeah, the Disney trilogy is not canon, guys. I don't recognize it."

Josh Wright

It's not. It's definitely one of the weaker Star Wars films, but it's a bit above the first two prequels.

SpearOfDestitute

I had to pause this review like ten times just so I could facepalm. This movie sounds like a nightmare.

Dave M

Call me sappy all you want, but I felt a little emotional at the end of the review. If it weren’t for Star Wars I would never have known these hacks and enjoyed their great content for all these years. (Damn you ‘if clauses’!!!) So, THANK YOU STAR WARS... I guess.

Lelio Mulas

I would genuinely enjoy a Plinkett's review for Cats instead of the Rise of Skywalker.

Rade Karanović

Excellent review, one of your best Star Wars reviews ever due to its sheer comprehensiveness. I can't believe we are still doing Mr. Plinkett's "A Case of the Not Gays" scenes/plots in 2019 as if anyone cares. Passive Progressive indeed.

I really enjoyed it as well. Although I'm curious if Adam Driver took the role because he got to sing in the film.

AllGoodNamesRGone

That was the best 70 minute review of a Marriage Story I ever saw. I switched over to netflix and watched it after Jay and Mike's recommendation. Also Star Wars is still a thing... sort of. Merry Christmas and a happy new year, you glorious hack frauds.

AllGoodNamesRGone

Agreed much cozy.

Lauren R

All I could hear while watching the movie was Mike saying, "Jesus Christ" over and over again.

Lauren R

Jay's sweater looks so cozy!

Kjersti Chippindale

It's a Christmas Miracle

David Perek

Great work as usual, guys. I gotta say, though: this whole review made me kinda sad. Comparing Mike's mood in the Half in the Bag for TFA with his mood here really upset me (especially because he doesn't have that much longer to live, with his dementia and his liver problems). It's awful that Disney beat his love of Star Wars out of him.

RG

Hearing Mike do an impression here of Jira (old lady with aching bones from Phantom Menace) makes me wish I could travel back in time to be in the theatre when he first saw the TPM just to see if this is where his appreciation for the elderly began.

Sarzac

https://i.imgur.com/TJv09qQ.gif

Hamson

I genuinely am looking forward to RLM'S review of this movie more than seeing the movie itself. Can't wait to see them horses running across a Star destroyer !!!

Marc Mc Nally

Yay! 😄

Mr. Derek Magnuson

I watched Marriage Story just yesterday, and I really liked it, too. I was expecting another movie with a message, but instead the movie dealt with a heavy subject matter in an actually empowering way, and looks at all the characters in a favorable light. It's good to see actors like Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson in roles like this. Laura Dern is also great, as usual. I've heard Daisy Ridley isn't that good an actress, but I still would watch Ophelia, if it was out on Netflix.

Marvin Falz

Awesome! Now, about that Cats review...

Andre K

Two emperors and two Han Solos? What is this, an episode of Harvey Birdman Attorney At Law?

Steve

According to the Screen Rant Pitch Meeting, it is a jumbled mess.

Steve

Yay, my predictions of two emperors and the return of Han Solo were pretty darn close (though not quite dumb enough). After years of watching RLM I'm finally getting good at this.

Amy Hitchner

good review, i loved it, it was everything i wanted it to be

atticus

I hear there’s a new Star war movie out. Any good?

Sean Wickett

Really enjoyable breakdown of the movie. I like Mike's take that this Palpatine has been there for much longer, and the ROTJ Palpatine was a clone...in all the discussion surrounding this movie that's not a concept I've seen anyone else propose. I know you guys are sick of Star Wars but I always appreciate listening to your insights.

Hamson

Hope you guys are taking a break for the holidays now. You all deserve it with everything you've put out since October!

Kellic

I have imagine they are tired of Star Wars. And look what they have put out since October. They are probably just tired. Cut em some slack. There will be other Star Wars to smack down in the future.

Kellic

AIIIDDDSS!

Oh hell yes

You guys didn't even half ass this one. It's like a 1/10th ass HITB. Replaying Plinkett's greatest hits on a TV JPG? Black backdrop and no skit? What the fuck. I don't care about this movie but I was eagerly anticipating your enlightening comedy to bring up my holiday spirit. Now I'm even more depressed because Disney doesn't give a fuck about Star Wars and now RLM doesn't give a fuck about Hitb

Leroy Brown

Let the ritual begin!

William Sircin

I'd watch this right now, but then I'd have to go to work knowing the highlight of my day was already behind me.

Dave Gesell

Fuck yeah

Lelio Mulas

Yay...way to come out just as I clock in 😪

Adam K.

Do it!

Matt Roberts

Omg, you got things to say...

Szabó Ádám

Thank the maker!