Time Skips & Feedback
Added 2024-11-29 14:35:32 +0000 UTCHey all - Been reading your comments and looking at the chapters in question.
So the one where Max finds his weaponsmith friend dead and then going into the arena, killing and slaughtering everyone was meant to be jarring but obviously I still need to fix that one. I'll sit down next week when kids back in school and look over those last few chapters and try to iron them out. Once I do, I'll poke everyone to check them out again if you're willing.
I'm always grateful for the feedback! Don't feel like you're going to upset me by giving me constructive criticism. I'd rather know now and be able to tweak and modify before its too late.
Thanks again! Did I mention book 6 ends on christmas day?
Guess I better get back to writing book 7 as I'm only 100k+ words into it (thinking 150k if I'm right... will be largest book to date).
Comments
To expand further on the issue with interludes, let's consider the recent example of Max being sent to Igarra’s world by Ezreal. Without the additional context provided by the latest chapters, readers would be left to assume that Ezreal’s motivation was to orchestrate a “challenging hunt.” This interpretation is problematic, as Ezreal had been previously characterized as a contracted assassin rather than someone who seeks excitement for its own sake. Such a departure from his established characterization could lead readers to conclude that this was a typical Deus Ex Machina designed to ensure the protagonist’s survival—a clear instance of plot armor. However, with the additional context from the recent chapters, it becomes evident that Ezreal’s actions were not thrill-seeking but rather a calculated political maneuver. By deploying “Chaos Max, The Wrecking Ball” into Igarra’s world, Ezreal intended to destabilize the long-standing stalemate between himself and Igarra. The issue lies in the fact that, for dozens of chapters, readers are left with the impression that this decision was an unearned plot contrivance. This is a problem that The Path of Ascension handles masterfully. That story incorporates interludes from the perspectives of other characters, which provide just enough context to guide the reader’s interpretation and significantly enhance the worldbuilding, without revealing so much as to spoil upcoming plot twists. I believe that adopting a similar approach in this story—leveraging interludes to a much greater degree than the current limited use—would offer substantial benefits. Such interludes could clarify motivations, deepen the reader’s understanding of the world, and prevent assumptions of contrivance or inconsistency. On reflection, this could also address the odd narrative gap where the Seeker/Assassin remains conspicuously silent for weeks while Max’s power grows exponentially. An interlude during that period could have provided valuable insight into the broader world and added depth to the narrative by exploring another character’s perspective.
Andrei
2024-12-01 16:27:59 +0000 UTCToday, I caught up with the story by going through all the available books on Kindle and subscribing to the Patreon for a month to read the latest chapters. I’m genuinely impressed with the world-building, but I’m also quite disappointed by how rushed the pacing feels. While the rapid progression of the story is satisfying, especially with the character's consistent growth, it leaves many points unresolved. Some of these unresolved threads could easily be considered plot holes if not addressed. Another issue is the lack of thorough editing. I’ve noticed numerous typos, missing words, and grammatical errors throughout the text. I believe that once the story is completed, it would greatly benefit from a comprehensive rewrite—similar to what Rhaegar is doing for Azarinth Healer. Admittedly, it’s a bit unfair to compare this story directly to The Path of Ascension, which I marathoned just before this, but I can’t help feeling that the potential here is being underutilized. While the world isn’t necessarily groundbreaking, it has so much promise, and it would be a shame if this story were to settle in the middle-to-lower tier of LitRPG fiction. A proper polish and deeper exploration of the unresolved elements could elevate it significantly.
Andrei
2024-12-01 02:21:16 +0000 UTCI think it's a simple fix there, just add something like "Max opened the door." and then cut for the next chapter and the battle. For me the disconnect was just the fact that Max was still running to the site of the murder on the previous chapter and so it felt weird, like I had skipped a chapter lol
Guilherme Novo
2024-11-30 14:11:52 +0000 UTCI don't think it was jarring. There is nothing like the rage of a good man.
Anthony Glenn
2024-11-29 17:44:42 +0000 UTCI think it just came out of nowhere, but I do think that it did a good job of reflecting how "fractured" he is at the moment
bcd051
2024-11-29 16:57:41 +0000 UTCIt was definitely jarring but felt it could have used just a bit more context/information. But I’ll be honest, I just want Max to hurry up and get home! How long has he been gone now?
Dr. Redbush
2024-11-29 16:11:53 +0000 UTCShould not have read this without catching up first 😭 my bad! Fantastic attitude to have, it's why you're one of the greatest doing it!
Jordan Bradley
2024-11-29 14:42:11 +0000 UTC
