Hard Lessons as a Dad
Added 2023-11-24 19:32:02 +0000 UTCSo... sometimes being a parent isn't easy. We make mistakes and this week I made one.
Someone had left a pretty negative review on my story and after some words and a being frustrated, I 'returned' the favor on theirs. It was petty and I realize it now.
Even worse I complained about it to my children. I lamented some things and even mentioned the act that I did.
Well my 14 year old took that as permission to do the same thing. So without me knowing he left a bad review on that same author after finding them on my reviews.
Woke up this morning and I have a 10 day ban on Royal Road for breaking a rule...
My pettiness and sharing that my children gave them permission to act in the same way and as such am suffering from the consiquences of that action.
I can't access the site or launch book 2 on RR on Monday and will have to wait another week to share that with my fans.
So don't be like me. Ignore those feelings and find other ways to let them out. And make sure not to tell your kids when you do that poorly...
Comments
I hear it. Being “new” to this I have done well. Normally I let stuff slide. Had an issue away from the computer that had me ‘hurting’ A perfect storm that hurt. Im usually the guy that never gets worked up.
Shawn Wilson
2023-11-25 21:26:49 +0000 UTCIMO if you read something online that makes you PO'd walk away from the computer and go do something else for at least a hour and then come back and see about replying. Or not. Because sometimes its not worth it....but sometimes people also get worked up, misread things, or just take criticism as a personal attack. IMO most authors take reader criticism WAAAAAY to personally and get nasty or just double down on the issue in the comments as a FU of sorts to that reader. Either of those approaches are not worth it and will do nothing to help you, the reader, or the story. If you're one of those authors who treats their story like it was their own baby I'd recommend just turning comments off on RR because you're gonna get triggered again at some point.
tibbish
2023-11-25 21:21:18 +0000 UTCSo i had gotten a few private messages which had been rough. Have family in town for holidays. Added to stress and some dont support what I do (even tho wife and kids do). I made a poor choice and acted like a fool as I felt hurt / attacked. Id need to read again but im unable to atm as i cant even get on RR
Shawn Wilson
2023-11-24 21:42:53 +0000 UTCI agree, things can go badly when you act off of emotions. That's no reason not to use them. Was the bad review subjective and informative? Was yours? I think the lesson should not be "emotions bad." More like you said, actions have consequences, these can be calculated and approximated. But, if you act with honesty (I won't add morality, and character) do you have reason to regret?
most frantic
2023-11-24 21:40:26 +0000 UTCYeah i see the mistakes i made. Dont want to try to “play off” why. I made it and get to deal with the fall out. My son sees now how stuff can go badly when we act off emotions. End of day compared to many of lifes hard consequences, the penalty isnt as bad as it could be.
Shawn Wilson
2023-11-24 20:34:24 +0000 UTCIt speaks for you that you openly address the mistake. Of course, the thing itself is not nice. Criticism can be/feel unfair and you don't have to be of the same opinion, but a negative follow-up criticism is really not a good action. But emotions are like that. Sometimes you get so caught up in a discussion that you act differently than if you've just had the calmest day of your life. I think the lesson you mention here and that you have now learned from it can help you. Both as a writer and as a father. I even think the opportunity for you as a father through the mistake is worth a lot in the end. I think talking to the kids and showing action, reaction and consequences is important and I think that will help your kids too. As a writer, it is of course a bit bad for the "public image" on RR. But an apology should clear things up for the other writer. And then... we can go through the negative criticism. Maybe we can draw some conclusions from it. I'm not mad if your stories get even better because we find points that your Patreon fans may not have noticed. Always a chance to learn something. And I think you're a man who really wants to improve and keep improving in your writing. At least that's the impression you've given so far.
Mario Schade
2023-11-24 20:22:34 +0000 UTCYeah i try. Told them all this morning afterward my mistake and consequence of it. Apologized. Dang dad lessons
Shawn Wilson
2023-11-24 19:38:19 +0000 UTC“Kids are like a mirror, what they see and hear they do. Be a good reflection for them.” — Kevin Heath
Bob
2023-11-24 19:36:51 +0000 UTC
