Heart to Heart
Added 2022-12-12 18:56:00 +0000 UTCHey guys. It's been a minute, as you may have noticed. I've been dreading talking to you about this, mainly because it's hard to know what to say or how to go about things. But I'll just be real with you: things are not going well in my life at all. I'm in a very sad and emotionally distressing time, and it's pretty much derailed everything that is me. Sometimes life just obliterates your heart, and it's really hard to pick up the pieces. I won't sit here and pretend that things are getting better, or that I know the answers to how to resolve things. But the reason this concerns you guys is this: Youtube is just not something I can do right now. I feel as though I've failed you in a lot of ways, and I feel very guilty for it. I am really sorry that I don't have any definitive answers for you on when I will return. I will simply have to take things one day at a time. I do plan to try and start videos back in January, or even before then, depending on how things pan out for me. But in the meantime, I will still come on here and talk to you guys. If I see a movie, I will let you guys know what I think as an exclusive thing. I have a couple reviews and notes I had already been editing, so I'll get those out to you. If you guys would like to have any discussions, do a small Q&A, or whatever, let me know. I'll see what I can do. Again, this is a really hard things for me to write to you, and something I hate admitting outside of personal life...but it is what it is, and you guys deserve to know what's going on always. I appreciate you all. I need all the support and love I can get in this world right now very much, and I thank you guys for continuing to be awesome. When I have no joy in my heart, I can sense your passion and joy for art. This is the entire reason why this channel exists. I hope to be reminded of that again on this earth soon. I hope you are having a good Christmas season.
Comments
Thank you for doing everything you do for this community, it makes us all happy to be able to talk about movies and stuff honestly in this space with you. Take as much time as you need, knowing we’re in your corner.
Jared Angcanan
2022-12-15 02:29:55 +0000 UTCYeah, that video has been coming to my mind lately as well for resonant reasons. I am so so sorry for your loss, and I hope that you are riding the wave as best you can. <3
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-14 04:41:40 +0000 UTCBest wishes, Maggie. I can’t help but think of your Message from the Heart video, which drew me to your content and helped me at a difficult time. This has been a difficult year for me too with the loss of my mother. Hang in there.
David Martino
2022-12-14 04:40:16 +0000 UTCThank you very much. <3
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-14 02:22:41 +0000 UTCI definitely appreciate you keeping us in the loop. And I'm glad to hear that you're not going anywhere. You have a lot of content that I haven't explored. If you didn't release that "Raging Bull" video, I was going to search: "Deepfocuslens + Oscars" and vibe out to the results while cooking. Actually I might still do that haha! Wishing you all the better days to come
Fillmore Pockets
2022-12-14 00:49:56 +0000 UTCBeing a person can be a kind of discipline sometimes. Take care of yourself. The beauty of The Discourse™️ is that you never actually leave it! Looking forward to your return to YouTube.
Trevor Lisa
2022-12-13 23:50:23 +0000 UTCThanks Jackson! You've been awesome on here.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-13 21:41:05 +0000 UTCNever overly wordy. I love to read your responses. You guys have been great. <3
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-13 21:40:53 +0000 UTCThank you so much. I know so many of you guys have been so sweet to me, and I've really found it to be a bit of solace from the outside internet traffic. You're right. Life just has its ups and downs. It's just that I tend to be quite hard on myself. But yes, I want to try and shift some things around next year. Try and figure some new things out for Patreon. And I hope to kinda brainstorm and share my thoughts with you guys when I am feeling a little better.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-13 21:40:26 +0000 UTCHey, thank you for that. Means so much.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-13 21:38:34 +0000 UTCHaha I do owe ya'll for sure. And I plan to continue that. But I always want to keep you all in the loop. I'm not going anywhere on here. But thank you for your positive vibes. I certainly need them.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-13 21:38:02 +0000 UTCThank you, Jerry! Your support means more than you know.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-13 21:37:04 +0000 UTCAbsolutely take all the time you need. This is supposed to be fun, not an obligation. Post whenever you feel like it again. Best wishes.
Jim Barnes
2022-12-13 17:17:38 +0000 UTCMy support isn't going away. Wish I could more for you. Hoping for the best for you.
Jerry
2022-12-13 17:08:32 +0000 UTCTake care Maggie. If you don't feel up to making videos at this time it's understandable. 🖤
K_
2022-12-13 12:12:16 +0000 UTCYou definitely haven't failed us and no need to feel guilty. I appreciate you for taking the time to let us know what's up. You don't owe us Jack, so thank you. Thank you for communicating, building and sharing your community, and thank you for sharing your channel! Take as much time as you need. You've left us with plenty of content. Sending you all love and positive vibes. Take care.
Fillmore Pockets
2022-12-13 07:26:31 +0000 UTCHey, take all the time you need. If it means anything, I think you’re the most intelligent movie reviewer on YouTube. It’s why I’m following you on here. You sink into the themes the way filmmakers want people to which is not common on that site. I know I’m just a stranger, but feel free to contact me if you need a friend.
Ken
2022-12-12 23:55:00 +0000 UTCI know you’ve been told this numerous times now, but it’s no less true: take all the time you need to get through whatever dark, difficult period you’re going through. That’s what’s most important right now. More than the YouTube channel, more than the Patreon feed. A lot of the patrons and I certainly appreciate being kept informed as to what’s going on with you and the channel, but your health comes first, mental and physical. Please don’t do anything on our behalf that would cause any of those things to further deteriorate, and don’t feel guilty about it. We patrons may give money to you on a monthly basis that shows a high degree of love and enthusiasm for your work (and frankly, I’m grateful and in agreement that you show us a higher level of consideration than your YouTube audience for it), but…supplying us with content on the feed if you’re in no state to do so is not worth any more distress than you’re already going through. If you can manage to do it, then by all means do so. If you can’t, then so be it. You’re not obligated, at least not at that expense. We want you to get well. You didn’t let us down. You hit a low point. That’s not failure, that‘s living. The holiday season can be either the best or worst thing for someone going through bad times (believe me, I know). I hope it’s the former for you. Take the time to enjoy the holidays with the people you love and who care about you. They’ll ease your suffering. And remember, all things, be they good or bad, must pass, even if they leave their mark. You will get through this, whatever it may be. Take care. We’ll see you when we see you. And if you need anything, please let me or any of us know. We’re glad to help.
Bennett Oliver
2022-12-12 23:53:01 +0000 UTCDear Maggie, Thank you for your honest and forthright post, it is a most admirable trait. I would encourage you not to fret or worry about producing content and to focus on what you need to do to find whatever it is you need to heal yourself and fight the darkness. In the words of Chuck Noland - I had to keep breathing - that sentiment has served me well on the occasions that I have had to overcome the darker times in my life. I appreciate that I am just some random goon on the internet but should you be in need of any kind of succour, be not afraid to ask, or perhaps in the words of Hoggle 'should you need us' (assuming you have seen the Labyrinth for that one.) Anyway I hope my overly wordy response can at least offer you a momentary smile to, however briefly, alleviate your emotional burdens. My best wishes to you.
Ross Skilton
2022-12-12 23:05:28 +0000 UTCThanks so much for opening up, Maggie. I know how it feels when something negative in your life is so all consuming like that. Absolutely take all the time you need and we’re here for whatever you need from us.
Jackson Littlewood
2022-12-12 21:48:39 +0000 UTCI don’t know what you’re going through, but I understand. This time is so rough for me and putting on a happy face is not easy. Anyway, I hope you’re okay. When I found your channel it reinvigorated my love for film. Stay strong!
Danny Harvell
2022-12-12 21:41:51 +0000 UTC<3
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 20:49:59 +0000 UTC<3
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 20:49:53 +0000 UTCThank you Bill. Haha...I apologize because my old content is terrible. BUt like I said...it's important for me to be productive, and things like Youtube have always been my way of maintaining a healthy life. And when I can no longer do those things...it's a sign something really needs to examined. I am human, and I am trying to look at it as a sign of strength as you say. As of now, it doesn't feel like that. But I will keep your words close, and hopefully see this perspective someday.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 20:49:33 +0000 UTCReally sorry to hear this Maggie . Take all the time you need. Your well being comes first. But you are being upfront on why we will be getting lesser content for a while, and if that is a problem for anyone subscribed to your Patreon.. they can easily unsubscribed, then resub once you return. I cannot see that really happening, but please take that pressure off yourself. Your mental health is more important. Don't feel any guilt, you haven't failed us. Taking a step back acknowledging your issues then addressing these things is a sign of strength despite how much you are hurting. I have been slowly making my way through your older videos over these past months so I personally will have plenty of reviews to dive into while you take some personal time. I honestly have no idea how I found your channel, but I'm glad I did. Love your reviews, takes and even some of the more personal videos you've shared along the way. And to quote the late great Thomas Wayne from Batman Begins " Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. " Life might test some more than others, but what we learn in our darkest moments will give us better perspective in our brighter days and potentially help others in the process.
Bill Banse
2022-12-12 20:24:46 +0000 UTC"When I pray - and sometimes I do - I pray to myself. I pray that I can pull myself through. And if I'm lucky - I answer myself." Garth Marenghi, author, visionary, dreamweaver, former duke, now arch-duke of darkness. But with all seriousness: take your time, get your strength from support of all your close ones and not-so close ones that wish you all the best and are grateful for your work plus presence. Still, the only key to escape those circumstances - as corny as it sounds - is in yourself. Believe me, it's reassuring, because all you need to do is to find it. May the upcoming Christmas time bless your road back to the good old ways. In the meantime, we'll drink to that. Cheers!
Mateusz
2022-12-12 20:20:26 +0000 UTCHope you'll feel better soon. Meanwhile, take good care of yourself. Klaus
Klaus Gehrmann
2022-12-12 20:20:01 +0000 UTC"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." The vastness of the internet makes it seem like if you're not growing or occupying the top that none of it matters, but it's not true. You have a little community that exists because of your passions. That's better than most, and more than enough. Be well.
Arthur Augustyn
2022-12-12 19:46:55 +0000 UTCThank you. No, it's not about my grandmother, though loss of that nature certainly doesn't help the current situation, I guess. Yes you've been a very longtime follower and I've always appreciated that loyalty, passion, and support. I know you've pushed through pain and loss of your own, and I admire that deeply. I hope you are able to take good care of yourself as well.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 19:37:37 +0000 UTCI know exactly how that feels. If it's because you lost your grandmother recently, trust me. It took me the entire summer to get to the point where I could function properly again when I lost both my grandparents. Just remember this. I probably wouldn't have been able to do so had it not been for discovering you and especially your Message From the Heart video which was less than a year old at the time. Don't think that I've forgotten about how much you've done for me in my darkest days. You've always been intelligent, perceptive, and honest and have introduced me to films that I've enjoyed immensely that I probably never would've heard of otherwise. Like most of the films you talk about, you're the kind of person that's hard to find these days. Take care of yourself and try to have a Merry Christmas.
Wolfman Brandon
2022-12-12 19:34:47 +0000 UTCThank you. Yes, pain like this will stay with you forever, no matter how much you heal, and that's the unfortunate reality of life. I hope to make new videos for you again soon. I'm so glad you've learned and benefitted from it. <3
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 19:22:56 +0000 UTC<3
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 19:21:30 +0000 UTCArthur, this is a beautiful thing you have written me, and I think you've nailed it. No, I never had any real aspirations with this channel other than to just find other people who liked the same things as I did, as I didn't have many people like that in my life to share it with. I've never had much interest in picking up on trends or anything like that as you say. I don't like the idea of being an "influencer" either. I'm not good at those things. I'm not good at branding or selling myself...I just know what I'm knowledgeable about and what I can share, and that's been my method. I've observed the way Youtube has changed over the last few years and I admit...I do at times feel like I don't really belong. Not because I don't want to...but just because there's so much content these days that...feels like everyone is offering the same thing. When I was young...very few people were doing that, so it was easy. Now things are so much different. And while I tend to be very adamant about maintaining my identity online, we always question our reasons. But I'm sorry your 2022 has been so bad. I agree it's been far worse than the previous two years. I hope you can find your own peace as well.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 19:20:46 +0000 UTCIt always gets better. Much love and thank you :)
serpatus
2022-12-12 19:14:36 +0000 UTCPlease take as much time as you feel you need. Your own well-being comes before content, and I hope this break helps you in getting back to a better place in your life. I am so, so sorry things have been difficult for you lately. I know how painful and sad it can be to get out of dark periods, so please take as much as you feel is best for you. I very much look forward to when you return to making new videos. I am always very happy to see you post content as you’re one of my favorite online content creators ever. I am very glad I came across your channel years ago as I have learned so much about art and filmmaking from it.
Violet Chantal
2022-12-12 19:13:30 +0000 UTCThank you. I have been pretty emotional trying to say this to you guys today, and that feeling isn't lessening. I technically do owe you guys, as you are patrons who pay, and that is only fair of me to keep that end of things up. I technically don't owe anyone else anything outside of that for sure though (even though a lot of people act like I do). But I see what you are saying. And your words are exactly the thing that makes all of this matter.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 19:13:21 +0000 UTCYour channel is a representation of what was great about YouTube before it became so commercialized. I like your content because you are an ordinary person with an extraordinary amount of passion for something I am also passionate about -- film. I think I started following when you had maybe ~18k subscribers. You've gotten more followers but you and your style has been the same and I like that (ok, you got a microphone and a light but nothing crazy). I think that shows your investment is in your passion and not becoming an influencer grinding for the next viral video. Some of your videos strike a cultural zeitgeist and some only interest your regular followers and that's fine. The difference in views hasn't appeared to affect how you engage with your passion for film. You still talk about what you want to talk about whenever you feel like it. I think that's admirable. The benefit of this approach means you can walk away whenever you want. This is your passion and -- although we all benefit from it through great content -- if it doesn't serve you anymore than that's ok. My other favorite YouTubers have the same mentality like Mandalore Gaming or Szeth who are pretty upfront about their willingness to never make another video again if they don't feel like it. They continue to make them because they like it. I don't know what's going on in your life but my message to you is it's ok to be uncompromising with your passions. If you enjoy it then keep doing it and if you don't want to then don't. I've liked your videos because they were effortlessly relevant and engaging to my interests. I think you achieved that because you didn't have some great sense of import or goal in mind for the channel. It was just a string of things you want to make and things you wanted to say. If you're struggling with "what should I do next?" I would say just keep doing whatever feels natural and don't feel obligated to perform for an audience. Do what you want to do. It's gotten you this far. I hope you are well and find some peace during the yearend. 2022 was a miserable year for me too -- worse than 2020 or 2021 -- so I don't think you're alone. But it will pass. It'll be ok.
Arthur Augustyn
2022-12-12 19:13:09 +0000 UTCMuch love! Sorry to hear that I hope you find peace with all the things you’re dealing with. And if that means no content indefinitely, take whatever time you need. I can only speak for my self but you don’t me a thing. You’re one of the few you tubers I can say changed the way I look a film, for what it’s worth a wonderful genuine soul.
jared Clarke
2022-12-12 19:09:15 +0000 UTCThank you. Yes, feel free to message me, or send me a topic discussion idea, and I'll make it happen on here.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 19:03:13 +0000 UTCThank you so much, Matt.
Deepfocuslens
2022-12-12 19:02:17 +0000 UTCReally sorry to here that. Hope you're able to find the wisdom and support of your family and friends to help work through this tough time. Obviously none of us know you or anything but I do appreciate you sharing and letting us in this way. I really enjoy this community and hope it can continue in the future but obviously personal life is priority. I'll definitely be around whenever you want to talk about movies or some random David Lynch clip that pops into your recommended.
Tyler Shobe
2022-12-12 19:01:51 +0000 UTCTake all the time you need. I hope the holiday season brings you warmth and happiness. We’ll all be thankful for you with or without your videos! Merry Christmas Maggie!!
Matt Silcock
2022-12-12 19:01:28 +0000 UTC
