Yale Stewart

Behind The Scenes, Pt. 2 - Scripting

Added 2017-09-14 01:11:44 +0000 UTC

Good evening, everyone! Today I'm continuing my Behind-The-Scenes look at how a JL8 strip comes together. Yesterday, I discussed story conception and outlining. In this update, I'll be discussing how I take that story outline and break it down into individual scripts.

Generally what I do is I look at my outline and try to break it up into "beats," with each "beat" being a micro-story that would make for a strip that makes sense on its own. Granted, as the stories become more and more involved, that becomes more complicated, but that's what I'm aiming for. Let's take another look at my outline for the most recent JL8 arc of the falling-action of the Green Lantern storyline (JL8 #247-255).

The GLs are awoken by a rooster crowing. They all stumble out of their tent, dreary-eyed, to see that it was in fact Barry. John: “Are you SERIOUS?” As the kids pack up, they talk about how great the trip was, thanking Hal for inviting them. They discuss their excitement as having beaten Bruce, when it’s revealed that no one remembered to take a photo (punchline). [Alan Scott comes by to check on the boys to see if they're packed up. Hal explains the situation, and Alan explains that he's planning to seek Kilowog out to discuss his offer of training the Lanterns, and maybe he could get a picture of Kilowog then.] Sinestro loses it. We re-hash the “who can/can’t be a Lantern” argument. Sinister throws out cruel examples, Alan counters, Sinestro finally suggests that maybe the GLS isn’t the place for HIM. Alan’s very depressed by these turns of events and sternly explains to Hal that it’s not funny. Alan leaves to go speak with Sinestro privately, and Hal’s dad shows up. They realize that Alan may tell Marty about what happened with J’onn, so they urge him to leave quickly, noting homework and that Alan’s busy with Sinestro. Barry apologizes to J’onn for saying the trip was super fun. J’onn brushes it off with a quick forgiveness and explains that the trip WAS very fun. Maybe Hal shoots down J’onn’s statement, implying that winning the bet trumps all else. The car drives off into the distance, towards home.

After looking at this outline, I'd begin to dissemble it piece by piece, trying to break it up into manageable chunks. The strongest indicator of where to split it up would be a punchline. For example:

The GLs are awoken by a rooster crowing. They all stumble out of their tent, dreary-eyed, to see that it was in fact Barry. John: “Are you SERIOUS?”

That's a nice little bit that has an explicit punchline, so that punchline becomes the "period" on the sentence of the strip, as it were. Sometimes, the punchlines are explicitly noted in the outline, so that can be helpful to me while I'm trying to dissect this stuff. You may notice that a lot of the individual sentences in the outline became entire strips on their own, and that's often the case. Strips are essentially the sentences that make up the paragraph of a scene, and the scenes are the paragraphs that make up the particular chapter of the story.

#247 (sentence) > #247-255 (paragraph) > #151-255 (chapter) > JL8 (story)

Hopefully this isn't too confusing. I'm just trying to explain it as it makes sense to me. Next up, we'll look at how I actually went in to script a few updates, the first being #247. You may notice that I use a lot of shorthand--mostly for names.

H is for Hal
J is for J'onn
B is for Barry
JS is for John
S is Sinestro
A is Alan Scott
G is Guy
M is Martin

It's all very straightforward, but I wanted to clarify just in case. Anyway, let's take a look at the script.

JL8 #247

Hal is woken by *rooster crow*

H: What the heck…?

H and J come out of tent.

H: Oh.

B: *rooster crow*

JS: Are you SERIOUS?

Now, you may notice a couple things. One, there are no panel breakdowns. This is because this particular strip is incredibly straightforward, and in my head I can visualize the panel breaks just by looking at the script, because it's very much about comedic timing. Secondly, you may notice that in the original script it was John Stewart who came out of the tent. I decided it would make more sense for it to be Sinestro, so I changed it when I began penciling the strip.

Let's take a look at the next update, #248, as this script looks a little bit different.

JL8 #248

PANEL ONE:

B: This was such a fun trip. Thanks again for inviting us, Hal.

H: I’m just glad you guys were able to come.

PANEL TWO

H: I wish Kilowog would’ve come back, though. I’m sad we didn’t get a chance to see him again.

J: Yes, as am I.

PANEL THREE

B: Man, I cannot wait to see Bruce’s face when we show him the photos.

H: Oh yeah, that’s gonna be SO good.

PANEL FOUR

B: Speaking of, I’d like to see ‘em. I bet they’re great. Where are they, Hal?

PANEL FIVE

H: Me? I didn’t take any photos. I thought one of you guys took them.

PANEL SIX

B: I didn’t.

J: Neither did I.

PANEL SEVEN

*They all look at each other*

PANEL EIGHT

*Hal and Barry look nauseous*

This time, you've probably noticed the addition of panel breaks. When a strip is heavy with dialogue (which is often the case), I'll add in panel breaks to let myself know how much dialogue I feel is appropriate for each panel. I mostly do this to keep myself in check, because action and reaction is incredibly important to me and if I could I'd probably just make each and every line of dialogue its own panel, but that would take forever.

I don't really have any other scripts that look drastically different from these, and honestly, the scripting process is pretty straightforward. Sometimes I'll have to rewrite some lines of dialogue over and over before I get it to where I want it to be, but that's about as far as it goes in terms of being interesting. The final thing I'll add is that I generally script and thumbnail at the same time, so I'm essentially writing and loosely drawing simultaneously, and that helps me figure out the pacing of action and layout of panels on the page and things of that nature. Anyway, below are the remaining scripts for this little block that we're taking a look at if you're interested. I hope this update was helpful to you in some way. Tomorrow we'll be taking a look at the thumbnail process (which should also not require nearly as much screen real-estate).

JL8 #249

A walks over to HBJ.

A: You three all packed up? What’s with the glum looks?

H: Do you remember me telling you about that contest we had with that kid from school?

A: Of course. That’s why you went off to find Bigfoot on Friday night.

H: Well, turns out, we forgot to take any photos of him, so we don’t actually have proof, and that probably means we’re gonna lose that contest.

A: I see. I was actually going to try to track Kilowog down later, to talk to him about his offer to be a drill instructor for us. Maybe I could—

S: Excuse me, WHAT?

JL8 #250

PANEL ONE

S: Did I just hear you say that you’re ACTUALLY CONSIDERING letting Kill-a-whatever into the Green Lanterns??

A: Yes, Thaal, you did. It was a kind offer for him to make, and I believe the least I can do is talk to him about it.

PANEL TWO

S: So what, we just let anyone and everyone into the Lanterns, now?

PANEL THREE

S: What about how hard I had to work to earn my place here? I studied the guidebook, I completed the training, I performed the tasks!

PANEL FOUR

S: It’s bad enough that you even let in THESE two—

A: Thaal, they were never official Lanterns to begin with, and you know that—

PANEL FIVE

S: Yeah, like that’ll stop you from letting them BECOME official! You’re ALWAYS letting in unworthy candidates.

PANEL SIX

S: I mean, frickin’ look at Guy, what the heck has he ever done to prove he belongs here? He can barely even tie his BOOTS.

PANEL SEVEN

A: Thaal, watch your language.

S: And what, you’re gonna let THIS ONE in? His first camping trip and nearly gets himself killed—

PANEL NINE

A: ENOUGH.

#251

PANEL ONE

A: Thaal, that is absolutely enough. I’ll let you criticize my decision making, but I absolutely will not let you insult J’onn. You owe him an apology right now.

PANEL TWO

S: I…he…

PANEL THREE

S: He’s an outsider! THEY’RE OUTSIDERS!

PANEL FOUR

S: How could you take THEIR side over MINE? I’M A LANTERN—

PANEL FIVE

A: Yes. You are. You’re one of the most decorated Lanterns we’ve ever had, which is why I’m so utterly confused by this.

PANEL SIX: (montage of imagery)

The Green Lantern Scouts don’t believe in “outsiders.” You should know as well as anyone that the Lanterns are a community, one where like-minded people can come together in an effort to develop skills to better themselves, and in turn, make the world a better place.

PANEL SEVEN

A: Right now the only “side” you’re taking is one of exclusion which stands against everything the Green Lanterns represent.

PANEL EIGHT

S: You know what? Fine. You wanna keep letting in garbage candidates like Guy, or worse, that frickin’ Kill-a-pog monster thing? Go ahead.

PANEL NINE

S: But I have no interest in being part of some festival of mediocrity.

JL8 #252

Sinestro walks away.

H: Tch. Good riddance.

A: It’s not funny, Hal. I’m going to go talk to him privately.

B: Come on. We should get to the parking lot. Your dad’ll probably be here soon.

H: Yeah.

JL8 #253

H: Everyone got everything?

B: Looks like it.

HBJ walk towards parking lot. H looks over to where A is talking to S. S and H glare at each other.

JL8 #254

Enter the parking lot.

JS: Hold on a second, Dad.

JS: You guys leaving?

H: Soon as my dad gets here, yeah.

JS: J’onn, Barry, it was really nice meeting you guys.

B+J: It was great meeting you, too.

JS: I also wanted to say that I’m really sorry Sinestro acted like such a jerk.

G: Yeah, not all Green Lanterns are like that, y’know.

JS: Yes, Guy, I think they can see that, since 3 of the 4 of us didn’t tell them they don’t belong.

G: I’m just trying to emphasize the point.

J: Thank you. Both of you, for being so friendly and hospitable.

B: Seriously.

---

Sidenote! In the text file of the scripts, I added this new outline to help breakdown Martin Jordan's arrival. You may notice some differences in how I chose to approach it towards the end, versus how I was planning to approach it in the initial outline. Below is the new outline in question, along with the subsequent script (which became a two-page update).

Marty pulls up, notes that kids are already packed and ready as opposed to how he normally has to drag Hal away. Notices Alan’s missing. Kids cover by imagining what would happen if Alan told Marty about J’onn, so they mention that Alan’s still talking to Sinistro but they really need to get home because Barry hasn’t finished his homework. Marty kind of pushes back until Hal sort of pleads with him, defeated.

JL8 #255

PANEL ONE

JS: Hope to see you guys again sometime. Take care.

J: Thank you. You as well.

M: Hey there, fellas.

H: Hey Dad.

PANEL TWO

M: Wow, you guys’re all packed and ready to go already? Usually I have to twist your arm to get you outta here, Ace.

PANEL THREE

H: Well, we didn’t wanna keep you waiting…

PANEL FOUR

M: Speaking of, where’s Mr. Scott?