Ok, hear me out...

Guys, I'm stuck. I feel so out of touch and stale. Like what's popular to read these days? I wouldn't even know. It's been almost 2 years since I stopped reading fics/webnovels. All I've done is write and write. And now I'm in an echo chamber.

I'm losing something. An essence of storytelling I can't explain well enough. The only thing I know is I HATE finishing stories, I HATE reading other works and I don't think I can change or even want to. I've also lost a lot of goodwill with some of my readers, many of whom started with me on this journey, and to them, I want to apologize.

For anyone that thinks my writing sucks and I'm making a big deal for nothing, you're probably right. I think my writing sucks too. It's the reason I never finish my stories, bar a few. Because...I second guess every Chapter Title, every word placement, every like or great comment. My editing phase took longer than the actual writing back when I cared to write something good.

Saintbarbido is cracking and has been for a while now. Whether the cracks are caused by self doubt, uninteresting projects, heavy expectations, delayed commission works, current real life issues or just a lack of interest, I only see two choices here:- Evolve or shatter.

Naturally, I pick Evolve like any sane person would. But a part of me wants Saintbarbido to die-it just gets hard being him. In contrast, Brian is simple, Brian doesn't need to be creative or imaginitive. He's real and he is a loved Father and Husband with Bills to Pay- which is why Brian needs to know who Saintbarbido is at his core.

Moving forward, I'll be writing for me, just a little bit more than you. Some projects will be experimental with AI, more polls, others might be Lemon/smut/actually depraved, lots of polls, I might never finish a book including commissioned works(I'll reimburse the remaining chapters I owe with a new book if someone requests it), I like doing polls, I'll have irregular updates for now till I deal with some other stuff, polls, and I will be introducing my two other Patreon accounts where I explore more of my interests(Music, drawing and Adult projects).

Whew. That was a lot. Now, I'm not afraid of losing supporters, I'm more afraid of letting you down and all this will be just another meaningless thing I did.

Thank you for everything. And expect an evolution or an end.