India

I've been in a rushed state for a while now. At first I was cloudy from burn out and now I'm overwhelmed from all the porjects I dropped during recovery. I'm not sure why I burned out. I've found that despite my passion for modeling, my body and mind can't always keep up. It's what's made me consider a new career. I want to keep modeling forever. I just don't want the quality of my modeling or my professionalism to suffer because I can't handle it.

India was a bit of a vacation for me. I don't know how to vacation to be honest. My idea of vacationing I guess is to model more. I met with a photographer in the area and he knew of this beautiful spot. I wish I could share these photos everywhere, but social media hates nudity. At least there is Patreon..

I love the art nude. I know people can't not see it as erotic. I don't know why I'm so strange that I don't. I could write forever on how I see nudity as nothing more than another way to wear clothes. It means nothing to me at all.

It's funny being in countries that are supposedly more strict than the USA about clothing. The USA is actually quite liberal in some ways. It's just different. While I wouldn't go naked into the public areas of India, I felt quite comfortable nude or in skimpy clothes in other areas. I think there are mixed opinions evrywhere. People wanted to warn me how strict and scary India would be for a woman like me. While there are threats, there are always threats. I didn't feel in more danger in India than I do at home. There is simply a false security we get from the familiarity of being home. Inida is huge and divrse with people. Sure there is a majority of religious zealots like most countries, but there are a lot of younger generations and non-mainstream cultures as well- like anywhere. I find that we're all trying to learn about eachother. So while I'm asking about the perception of art, nudity, and religion in Inida, the photographer is asking me about all the racism and gun violence in the USA. I've noticed that we're all a bit fearful of eachother's countries.  This isn't the first time I've had someone in another country ask me about the gun violence in the USA. While in Belize and while working with someone from China, they too were very concerned. Yet, here in the USA, we're not all reluctant to leave the house in fear of being shot. 

I wish people didn't generalize countries or people all the time based on our perceived differences and stereotypes. I would never say not to be cautious and try to be respectful, but often people are as curious and open about us as we are about them. The media can only ever give us a small, distorted vision of what it's like to be someone else in another country or lifestyle. It's so different from what it is actually like to experiernce it.

Meeting people has been a wonderful part of traveling and my modeling. I think on vacation I like to turn off my phone and be alone with my thoughts. I did that for the most part in India and I think that's why I came home ready to tackle the next tour, photoshoot, etc. I needed to live in the moment instead of feeling the weight of my phone, email, etc, and planning on me. Time keeps slamming through me faster and faster, showing me how fast I lose it. I needed a moment to enjoy the moment rather than worry about how fast the future is coming.