Book 5 Final Plot Edit
Added 2025-05-08 18:51:39 +0000 UTCNote: I still plan to write 4 chapters a week on book 7 while the edit is progressing. Book 7 starts Sunday
I start editing book 5 today. If you have plot "suggestions" you can post comments to this posting. If you see grammar or other mistakes, you can post them to the chapter. I read all comments in a chapter before tackling the edit.
So you do not need to reread book 5, I will try to post the planned changes here. The end result is still the same, but I hope to improve the writing, detail, and flow.
1) The night vision spell form. People were unhappy he imprinted when he "needed it" but that is normal when under duress. Usually, the spell form is inferior, though. I added a little bit about him using earth speak to see similiar runes in the night vision goggles in book 4 already. What he actually imprinted was something called aether sight - not night vision. So I am going to have him confirm that early in book 5 and what it actually does.
2) Maveith will play a bigger role in saving his sister. Plus, the Maveith/Zorana will be expanded upon
3) I need to add the revelation that Eryk is an otherworlder to Benito and Blaze during the journey
4) The interaction with the titans will be heavily rewritten to make them seem like omniscient, powerful beings. That they came off as child-like. The dimensional space being torn open is still going to happen, but written differently
5) Make Mynahsa and Glasha more likable. Eryk's motivations for helping them so thoroughly was questioned by readers. "He did not get enough back in return"
6) Have one of the white wovles show up during the pixie challenge. This was a plot point I forgot, as I had planned Eryk going into seclusion at some point in the future with just the wolf for a friend. I actually don't know if that will happen, but I still thought it would be fun to have the wolf show up
7) The werewolf encounter - Eryk will not be doing that alone. It seems a bit reckless and out of character, even with his confidence sky high
8) I am going to try to add more markers along the way with Raelia and Eryk's relationship developing over the journey. Some people said they found it "sudden" but it should have felt like Raelia convincing herself he was a "good guy". She did go into it thinking it was a fling...FYI
9) Flesh out necromancy - there are two necromancers (orc boy and the Telhian one) in book 5 plus I think Konstantin's Death Hunter interaction. but the latter may be in my head
10) need to add him checking on Renna - he wil be content that she is alive - probably do it on the ship
I will add to this list as I go!!!
Comments
Deaths - We have almost none and then so many in such a short period of time. I understand Eryk needing to become the guardians of the girls, but Lirkin? You mentioned he may live...? Is this still possible? Not saying anything else has to die and he could be greatly injured. Eryk could give him a healing potion. Idk but damn, so many dead. Too many, as so many comments posted. π
Damien P
2025-05-11 04:41:51 +0000 UTCSo far it's good my only issue is I'd like to see more character development for some of the side characters. Like for lensa since she's the most recent. They were bickering for a bit before she joined the party and now while they do things together they don't really speak to one another and deepen the relationships. The one that felt the deepest was maveith and maybe Blaze. I'd like to see them talk to eachother more. But amazing story! I read the first 2 on audible and I don't regret joining the patreon!
saber
2025-05-09 21:41:03 +0000 UTC