Life Update. [May 2023]

Hey guys, I didn't want the proper monthly update to have this, so I'll write this before then.

This month has been a mess and I have some really sad, shitty news. We had to say goodbye to the kitty that just had the surgery. He was our oldest cat, but still only 8, his name was Timmy.

We really thought his recovery would be even easier than Coby's, just lengthier, that he would be able to go back to his routine very fast, but instead he kept getting worse pretty much by the day. Things got complicated too since he wouldn't eat or drink water on his own and we had to force-feed him. And even with the medicine and giving him food and water, and having him checked by the vet throughout, he had less and less energy, and just.. looked worse every day.

At the end we were told that best case scenario, even if he recovered, he could relapse in 2-3 months due to his kidneys, which could have very likely worsened through his recovery and he might not have very long.

He was like the dad of the other cats, very paternal and always taking care of them, they sought him too to hang out and for cuddles. He also kept the peace between two of them. We are still observing how the cats adjust, and trying to compensate with more attention.

And this is honestly still hard to believe, but pretty much right after, we received a call that a cousin of ours passed away. [At home, it did hit my brothers the worst since they were around the same age and very good childhood friends]. It doesn't feel right to go too in detail about this here, I'll just say that it was shocking and extremely sad, but also, in a messed up way... even in such a tragic situation, seeing so much dear family I haven't seen in years, and being in this environment were it's expected to be openly sad and a mess and heartbroken.. was a little comforting and I think it personally helped me process some of what's been going on.

It's been a really stressful, surreal, and emotionally draining month.

I don't know if my absence is really obvious since I update once a month, but to those that have sent messages, I'm sorry I've not been getting to them. I'm picking up where I left off and I'll get back to everyone.

Sorry for the depressing updates, guys. I put off writing this for almost a week because I felt guilty of writing so much depressing stuff for the last couple updates. I don't know how to handle these types of things, I don't know if it'd be best to just write "personal issues/real life stuff" rather than go into detail. Or if being more open and honest is best. It's something I struggle with a lot, in real life too, I don't want to be a constant source of bad news, but I also feel like it can be better than keeping people in the dark? I don't know how to balance that, and I think in the long run, either route gets just as tiring for everyone involved.

To be honest I've already taken some time for myself after all this, because I really didn't feel like I had the energy or much less, the enthusiasm to put into commissions and being active online in general. But I think I'm ready to "come back" now, it also feels really bad not being productive, and falling behind/letting things pile up.