Fun Vacation

Oh. We’d just woken up after our first night at the hotel. The first night in this body, where everything felt totally different from what I was used to, and these two assholes, like they’d chugged energy drinks in their sleep, were now jumping around me like a couple of monkeys, not even letting me have a normal breakfast.

— Come on, put on a normal face already, — Max laughed, jabbing his phone at me.

I rolled my eyes, feeling how the banana in my hand was hanging limply, making this whole situation even dumber. Why the hell did they shove it at me in the first place?

*click

The phone made that sound that for a second gave me a weird sense of relief — but then Max burst out laughing.

— Ha-ha! Oh god, that’s a masterpiece! — Max nearly dropped his phone from laughing. — That exact moment when you realize: no banana will ever replace a real dick!

— Fucking hell, Max, seriously? — I muttered, overwhelmed with the urge to throw the banana in his face, but for some reason held it back. Instead, I just shifted the damn fruit in my tiny feminine hand, laid it into my palm and, pretending I didn’t care, started peeling it — even though I had absolutely no desire to eat it a second ago.

— Oh, yes-yes! — Jake yelled, slapping the table so hard the forks jumped. — Shove that in your little mouth and show us what you got now, Kitty!

I felt my cheeks blaze from that line — and not just from that. Kitty. Fucking Kitty! What the fuck kind of name is that anyway? Although... I was the one who suggested it, back when we were sitting on a beach cluttered with bar trash the evening before the hotel.

— Fine, — I said back then, slamming down a shot of tequila, — if one of us really turns into a chick, it’s gotta be something insane. Like... Kitty!

— Ahahahah! — Max burst into laughter, wiping tears from his eyes. — Kitty! Fucking gold!

Jake added, nodding and shaking a beer bottle:

— Perfect. Straight outta some cheap strip club! Meow-meow, bitch!

Back then it all felt wild and fun. We even joked about which one of us had the real balls to risk playing the roulette. The rules were simple: you downloaded a special app — some local thing, kind of like “Wheel of Fate.” One tap — and whoever landed on “Transformation” would turn into a girl for the whole vacation. For a luxury suite at dirt cheap prices. For the fun. For the thrill.

And of course, it landed on me.

Now I was sitting at the table, in a tight black tank top that hugged this new body way too well. Every move came with the sensation of those soft, perky tits — clearly heavier than I expected — slightly bouncing under the fabric. And fuck, those nipples… they felt every damn touch, like even a breeze was mocking me.

And those damn hair — thick, chestnut, long — kept brushing against my shoulders and cheeks with every awkward shift.

‘Stay cool,’ I told myself. ‘Show them you don’t give a shit.’

I clenched my teeth and acted like I didn’t care. With the grace only someone on the verge of a breakdown could muster, I lazily started peeling the banana. The skin slid off in my narrow, delicate fingers, and the whole thing looked... way too suggestive.

— Ooooh, — Max drawled, holding up his phone, ready to snap another pic. — We’ve got a pro over here!

— Come on, Kitty, — Jake grinned, miming something invisible going into his mouth. — Show us how it’s done. Just no teeth, babe!

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the shirt stretch uncomfortably across my chest, hugging my boobs, and I thought: ‘Screw you assholes. I’m gonna show you I don’t give a fuck.’

My lips — damn, now so full and soft — parted just a little, and I slowly started drawing the tip of the banana into my mouth. My body responded instinctively with a strange wave of shame, an unpleasant heat between my thighs, like none of this was even happening to me.

‘Don’t think about it. Just eat. Rise above their dumbass jokes.’

I took a small bite, barely letting the fruit touch my lips, and started chewing. The banana tasted perfectly normal, but everything else felt different: my mouth was smaller now, my lips — softer and more sensitive, and the whole scene — fucking suggestive as hell.

— Ooooh! — Max shouted, slapping his knee. — You were born for this, Kitty!

— Hey, Kit, try shoving the whole thing in your mouth, come on, like a big girl! — added Jake with a wink. — You know, like in the movies!

I choked, coughing as I tried to swallow the piece. My cheeks lit up again. I was trying to look unbothered. I really was. Honest. But with every one of their jokes, my pride was melting like ice cream in the sun.

— Hey, Kitty, you know, — Max leaned forward with a smirk, — you really oughta pick up some life hacks now that you’re one of them.

— Go fuck yourself, — I hissed through my teeth, feeling how my lips instinctively puffed out in a pout — a habit I definitely didn’t have back when I was a guy.

But instead of backing off, they only got more fired up.

— Smile more, — Max winked. — And play with your hair! Dudes go nuts for that.

At that moment, Jake froze, then looked at me weirdly.

— Hair... — Jake drawled, exchanging a glance with Max before grinning that disgusting grin of his. — Let’s do you up in pigtails, princess! So everyone knows what a cutie you are now! — he blurted and almost slid under the table from laughing.

I stared at him, trying to burn a hole through his skull with my eyes. But fuck, instead I just became even more aware of my thick chestnut hair falling across my face and shoulders, tickling my skin. Those strands might as well have been whispering, “Yeah, yeah, go on, make yourself an even bigger joke.”

— Don’t even think about it, — I growled, quickly tucking my hair behind my ear, which for some reason... came out way too girly. Shit, everything I did now looked stupidly feminine.

— Why not? — Max asked with fake innocence, pulling out some hair tie from behind his back. — Look, I’ve got everything ready!

— Max, put that shit away, — I growled, feeling the heat rush to my cheeks again.

— Oh come on, Kitty, — Jake leaned over the table at me, his eyes sparkling with playful cruelty, — you need to embrace your new self. Dive in, so to speak. Head first.

Max jumped behind me before I could react and started gathering my hair into two thick strands. His fucking fingers worked through my hair like he’d been doing it all his life.

— Get off me! — I yelled, trying to break free, but in this new flimsy body, even Max’s half-assed grip kept me in place. My narrow shoulders, my dainty arms — I hated how helpless it all looked.

— Relax, Kitty, — Max sang as he started braiding one side. — You’re about to become a superstar! All that’s missing is a cute little skirt, and you’ll be getting free drinks at the bar in no time!

— I’m gonna kill you. I swear to God, I’ll kill both of you as soon as we’re back! — I growled, feeling the hair tighten into a ponytail on the left side.

— Sure, sure, sweetheart, — Jake waved it off, filming the whole thing. — Just make sure you twirl those pigtails a couple times and bat your lashes for the camera first — then you can act all scary and shit.

I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw actually popped. Max reached for the second strand and braided it with such care and affection that I didn’t stand a fucking chance of looking like anything other than some girl whose mom was doing her hair before school.

— Ta-daa! — he cheered, clapping his hands on my shoulders. — Voilà, Kitty with pigtails is ready to take on the world!

I just sat there, on the open café terrace, with two neat pigtails sticking out the sides of my head, wearing a tight black tank top that shamelessly showed off my tits, and holding a banana.

And right then, a group of tourists walked by — guys in their twenties — and one of them, a tall blond dude in sunglasses, let out a full-on whistle, staring right at me.

— Hey, baby doll! How about a night together? — he called over his shoulder, grinning.

Max and Jake burst into such loud laughter that even the waitress at the next table had to stifle a giggle into her hand.

I just froze. Paralyzed by shame. My ears were on fire, my heart was pounding somewhere in my throat, and deep in my gut there was this strange, disgusting knot.

“I’m in hell,” I thought slowly, hopelessly, hearing my buddies laughing behind me, gripping the banana so hard it nearly fell apart in my hand. “A real fucking hell.”