Sorry for being such a pussy.
Added 2025-01-19 18:51:35 +0000 UTCHey guys, I'm very sorry for the long radio silence. I've been working non-stop on the game, but I needed some time to work and experiment alone on something important.
I know that “going dark” was really shitty and unprofessional, and you guys have every right to be pissed off with me. The truth is that sometimes – when things are creatively difficult, and I’m feeling like shit – I let the stress and doubt and haters get on top of me, and I feel like I need to just fuck off and fix everything before I can show my face again.
I knew it was the wrong thing to do even while I was doing it (which just added to my negative emotional spiral), but I did it anyway, because I didn’t have the mental bandwidth or emotional energy to be the crab you deserve. I'm sorry and ashamed for handling the stress so badly.
Progress report
I’ve been busy finishing the entire Lifepath in the game engine. This was originally planned to be spread over four separate releases, but I realised that (A) it was taking too long to make and (B) it wasn’t turning out like I wanted.
The point of Female Agent has always been to make the game I wanted to play: an RPG with a highly customisable heroine, who alternates between kicking and showing some ass to get through the main quest.
Starting a new game shouldn’t be the long, intricate grind it was becoming – the Lifepath I want to play is a fun, highly interactive character creator, where I get to create and customise an aristocratic English rose or an all-American cheerleader with a unique backstory the game will reference later, stick her in MI6 or the CIA, then call her in for a meeting and tell her that she’s trading in her business suit and laptop for a thong and high heels to go undercover.
So I sealed myself away and did some absolutely brutal redesign work (which will shortly go out to testers for feedback). So the next release will be the entire Lifepath, i.e. the next release will be the previously planned four releases, all rolled into one, and I think it’ll make the early game much more replayable and better paced.
Next steps
Now I have clarity and my idea for a redesigned Lifepath is now finished and working in the engine. I need to push that out to testers for feedback and improvement, and of course there will be new artwork required from lovely Victoria. So my next step is going to be detailed comms with V and testers. We’ll aim to get the entire Lifepath to you as soon as possible.
Again I’m really, sincerely sorry for the radio silence. It was unprofessional of me and I’m going to make up for it with better comms and a better game for everybody.
🦀❤️🔥
Comments
I am personally not too fuzzed about a creator on Patreon not sending word for a few weeks, a month, or so. Crush is better at keeping us posted than most, really. Just take your time, I'd say.
Rolls1
2025-01-23 23:02:02 +0000 UTCI know the exact feeling you describe, I do it myself in my own professional life when i feel like i cant live up to my own expectations. Then i feel its easier to just shut off so you don't have to deal with it, telling myself i will just fix this and return a hero. And while im dug in, then the shit just builds up. And it gets harder and harder to come back because of the silence and the ignored messages. I wish i had great advice that would make it easy to stop that stupid spiral. But i haven't found an easy fix yet sorry, but at least i can say that we love your content, and we also care about you. And I'm sure most of us know that your amazing work is worth the wait.
KC
2025-01-21 21:38:38 +0000 UTCYou are an incredible creative. That's pretty much the main reason why I've stuck around for so long. So believe me when I say this ; the only real problem I've ever had with your project is that lack of communication. So long as there's no more radio silence, it's all good.
Kolbeinn Máni
2025-01-21 19:15:55 +0000 UTCOK Crabby, I'm sorry if I'm gonna come across as harsh, but you can't do that. If you need some time away to fix something you have to post something about it on Patreon. I was half considering pulling out. Your last post was on Christmas eve. That's almost a month ago, and back then the plan was to have something out to testers by Dec 27, if memory serves. I'm starting to think maybe the problem is you are overexerting yourself too much. I know what I'm suggesting might overextend your budget, but I still think you should seriously consider hiring a part time social media manager who will be able to maintain like a short weekly bulletin on Patreon, just keeping contributing patrons in the loop, even if you're too busy to provide updates. Again, what you're planning for the life path sounds amazing and I'm still waiting anxiously (although not as patiently, I'll admit) for the next release.
Beeri Shahar
2025-01-20 23:01:26 +0000 UTCAll we need is a check in buddy, bad news is always better than no news. Thanks for the update!
Jillsandwiches
2025-01-19 22:08:03 +0000 UTCYay! I was a bit concerned about your earlier Idea of putting the Lifepath out in Installments (very selfishly, cause I wanted it all at once) but also felt that if you wanted to do it that way it's your schedule - now I'm happy as can be but also: Things take as long as they take so please never doubt yourself concerning being "on time". Looking forward to the results of your labour. 😁
Iseniell
2025-01-19 20:19:40 +0000 UTCOkay crush, the self deprecation is really not healthy. You don't have to justify your choices and you shouldn't let yourself feel bad or guilty about making them when the choice is between improving the game, vs feeding content and attention to supporters. The goal of everyone here is to support you in improving the game. Some voices will struggle with their own need for instant gratification or their lack of tact for Internet communication. But, that's all a distraction from you working through the development process. Have confidence in your choices and your work, because when you have confidence it comes through in the content you make. Trust yourself. Take care of yourself.
Xerrol Nanoha
2025-01-19 19:46:16 +0000 UTCThanks for the update. We are looking forward to new playable content.
Chloe
2025-01-19 19:37:38 +0000 UTCKeep following your vision. The game you are making is awesome, don't let the haters an trolls get into your head.
Chico3812
2025-01-19 18:55:44 +0000 UTC
