Sprint 006 dev test
Added 2020-02-01 02:39:16 +0000 UTCHey Operator+! Thanks for supporting Female Agent. Here's a dev test of the scene I worked on in Sprint 6.
As always...it's less than I hoped. 😔 I wanted to finish the whole Max scene, but this dev test only adds part of the balcony branch. In fact, it feels like it ends just as it gets interesting.
I experimented with a new writing style in this sprint. You'll find lots of dead paths in this version – they're marked TBD (meaning "To Be Done"). This was an experiment to try and write in a more joined up way.
Although not much was added to the word count, I did make a few important structural changes, based on Operator feedback:
- Notifications now only report changes to Carla's condition. This makes them more important. I experimented with letting them take on some of the narrative load.
- Foreplay. Previous designs & iterations of this scene artificially limited the number of times an NPC could attempt foreplay on Kate. (This was because Kate only has three arousal states, and I didn't want every NPC getting a rampant Kate in his bed because he had lots more dice rolls than she had arousal states. I redesigned this system, so NPCs who overperform in this area are rewarded differently.) Foreplay opportunities are now spread throughout the scene, so Kate can be turned on way before her clothes start coming off.
- Sex scene structure. I reworked the structure so that dice rolls are more important, and decision points are more impactful. Sex scenes require less writing because the logic is more streamlined.
- More tailored sex scenes. Because the decision points are spaced further apart, I was able to write slightly longer, hopefully sexier scenes. Someone on F95 advised me that, since the game is mostly text, I should be writing absolute filth during the sex scenes. I tried to push myself outside my comfort zone in this version – anybody notice a change, good or bad?
Okay, it's nearly 0300, I need to sleep. As always please let me know your thots here, in DM, or in Discord.
Comments
I like it because Max is doing it explicitly because she can't understand him. Also from experience I've found if two people are far more fluent in a language, they'll speak it even if those around them don't understand. I feel like this will happen a lot in the 'Kok.
Antilles
2020-02-03 03:52:51 +0000 UTCTo me it feels like people don't really speak that way, except the outbursts when you're not really in control of yourself (as in, yelling a word in your native language when you're stubbing your toe, coming or something similar). Bilingual places feel different since people understand what you're saying.
Breadloaf
2020-02-02 21:24:07 +0000 UTCThat's good feedback, Bread, thanks. Regarding the native language – would it be better if I coded in a mouseover translation? Or do you just not like it in general?
Crushstation
2020-02-02 21:18:30 +0000 UTCMore filth is good. If you are unsure how filthy the descriptions are supposed to be, why not look up some of the most popular stories on Literotica and compare? I'm not a fan of people in game mixing in their native language that much though. Personally I'd like to see it toned down.
Breadloaf
2020-02-02 07:50:23 +0000 UTCYeah, this encounter struck me as a good opportunity to test whether a language barrier could be hot/interesting in a sex scene. The mouse-over translation code you describe actually is already in the game – during the briefing with Sloan & Novak, when you listen in on the intercepted call, if your agent speaks Arabic then you mouse over it for a translation. In this example, Carla doesn't speak Swedish so she doesn't get the translation, but actually it might be better to show the translation anyway (just make it so agents who can't speak Swedish can't react to it). I guess that would be like showing subtitles, so the audience know whats going on but the character can't react to them. I had some amusing dialogue ideas for agents who *do* speak Swedish, including finishing the sex scene and then saying "Du sa några mycket intressanta saker tidigare" when she's chilling out with Max afterwards.
Crushstation
2020-02-01 16:32:54 +0000 UTCThanks Toad. :-) Yeah I'm looking forward to adding in the individualisations for your actual agents. Glad you're enjoying the more frequent devtests.
Crushstation
2020-02-01 16:25:38 +0000 UTCGreat work, definitely feel like this is headed in the right direction! The pace feels great, and filth is always welcome! The one tiny nitpick that stood out to me: I'm not sure how I feel about 'fuzzy' as a descriptor for Max's balls. Oh, I'd also suggest anyone who hasn't should do a quick google translate to see exactly what Max is saying. Connected to that, and I'm not sure how technically feasible/painful to implement it would be, but it would be nice to have the ability to mouse over dialogue in other languages and get an English pop-up translation, the easier to get at that sweet, sweet dramatic irony. But that can definitely wait until after the 'Kok.
Antilles
2020-02-01 14:28:02 +0000 UTCI am definitely a fan of absolute filth in my written erotica. "Give me smut, and nothing but!" as Tom Lehrer would say. I find the new scene design to be very fun! I feel like the agent has a lot of control about how the scene progresses, and the initiative rolls are happening just at key moments, not every new page. I've excited to see how everything plays out when my agent arrives, the excitable überwhore with her 100+ body count and laundry-list of fetishes and lack of panties. I'd love if she could give the hotel staff a blowjob as a tip beyond that 100% tip, it would be amusing to see her date get shocked and a jealous so that even immediately fucks her roughly after she's been such a surprising whore. Anyway, thanks for the update! Good luck with the new format and this improved Sprint technique. I love seeing these in-progress devtests!
Toadsith
2020-02-01 09:40:00 +0000 UTC
