Guest post, by esclavage!

Wait, why am I out here?  What do you mean, ‘bread and circuses’?  Get back here! Crush! Crush!!

Oh, wait, are we live?  We are…?

Why hello there, faithful fans!  I'm your friendly neighborhood volunteer, esclavage, and I'm here to bring you the hottest gossip and the juiciest rumors about Female Agent. We’re really excited to show you what we've been doing behind the scenes.

Today we’ll be answering the questions you're all dying to hear like: is Crush really a crab?  Answer: He is! Typing with claws for fingers is trickier than it might seem.  See photographic evidence below.

Or this beauty - will 1.3 come out sometime in 2018?  Answer: it won’t. Haven't you silly kids learned your lesson from Breeding Grounds?  Or seen how Akabur does things?  The Internet is the boulevard of broken dreams!

But seriously, shoutout to everyone who knows these references I'm making!  What exactly have you been doing with your lives up until this point?  You probably don't want to dwell on that depressing thought!

On a more serious note, progress on 1.3 is steady.  I think you will be pleased with what's been done so far, and what’s coming down the pipe.  A crowd (three or more is a crowd) have been testing out developer’s versions to check the code and see how the gameplay feels for both the new Flirt and Sex Engine.

We’ve had two test versions so far: one for the Corinthian and one for the Cathouse, two nightclubs the agent can visit in 1.3.  Crush has been busy, busy, busy squashing pesky bugs (like the agent spawning into a briefing scene topless, and coincidentally gaining the Exhibitionist trait).  

Meanwhile, my compatriot in crime, Dissonant Soundtrack has his ten thousand monkeys going wild in his typewriter room.  Hamlet’s on its way, boys and girls!  Or are we doing simply making much ado about nothing?  Hopefully all of you are eager readers with eager beavers.  Stay in school kids!

So let's examine the three nightclubs that the Agent will visit in Glasgow.  We have the Corinthian, one of the classiest clubs in all of Scotland.  It's a place where a sleek superspy fits right in.

The Cathouse, the newest hipster spot for those who have some alternative tastes both in men and music.  It’s a rocker bar with rocking chicks and the Agent is just a girl who wants to have fun. This one comes with an interesting twist, one that the Agent may not like but we suspect you might!

And lastly but not leastly Oceana, a trashy meat market serving watered-down beer and alcopops to teenyboppers.  None of these girls are likely coming home with you for Thanksgiving dinner and any that did would just steal the good silverware.  Our poor Agent.  Just an innocent lamb led to the slaughter. What would Mommy dearest think if she saw her little girl now?  Hopefully our Agent never needs to find out!

Each one of these locations will represent a unique challenge for the Agent in how to pick her man and also give you, the Player, a sense of the sliding scale we will be playing with.  So sit tight, buckle in, because this train is all brakes.  Plus we’re missing like almost all the tracks.  Maybe the Pony Express would have been a better option to deliver to our fans.  Oh well!  You only live twice, right?  Choo choo!