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MatHaz
MatHaz

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Interlude: Imperial Cloud City

~~~

Shao Zhilan of the Divine Frozen Palace wakes up in the embrace of three men.

Gently, she extracts herself from the bed, carefully navigating through the tangle of silk sheets and limbs to avoid waking her husbands. Not that she thinks that is possible. Last night’s activities have taken a significant toll on them. Such is what happens when the disparity between partners is too great. Alas, her husbands had been eager to please, and she would never be so cruel as to deny them.

With graceful and silent steps, Shao Zhilan makes her way to the baths. As an Emperor Realm cultivator, a single burst of Qi would be enough to completely purify her body. Nevertheless, she spends over an hour relaxing in a marble pool large enough to fit several dozen people. No servants accompany her there. Bathing is a time for introspection. It requires solitude. 

Besides, the sight of her naked body is one reserved solely for her husbands.

Once she is done, Shao Zhilan puts on a sky-blue dress decorated with rubies and sapphires. The dress is made of very thin material, shows much, and promises more. She is not particularly enthused about having to wear blue so often, but she is in the capital as the representative of the Divine Frozen Palace. It is important to always look the part. Clothes, jewels, perfume. All have to be picked carefully. 

“How do I look?” she asks Tie Leji, her closest aide, friend, and husband.

“Marvelous as always,” her husband replies, the lines on his face creasing as he smiles.

“And the job I told you about last week?”

“The flowers have been replaced,” her husband replies. A beat passes. He raises an eyebrow. “Was it truly necessary? You cannot deny it seems…”

“Petty?” She finishes for him. “Dear, of course it was petty. In a perfect world, I would have already had Meng Yue strike down Xiao Yifan for daring to defy the Divine Frozen Palace. Unfortunately, the Endlessly Raging Valley is endlessly tedious. Thus, the silly, little woman must instead suffer no end of petty and insignificant troubles that deny her even the smallest satisfaction until the day she dies.”

She looks at herself in the mirror and smiles. 

“Wish me luck.”

“You never need it, but I always do.”

~~~

Imperial Cloud City is the capital of the Crimson Cloud Empire.

Its population is in the tens of millions, and its size is such that even if a person were to walk in a straight line without stopping for an entire day, they would be unable to make it from one end of the city to the other. There is not a single person who would deny it is the most important city in the entire Empire.

Every major Sect and several minor ones have a branch in the city, making Imperial Cloud City a true microcosm of the Empire. One can find people and traditions from every corner of the Empire spread over the city's one hundred and twenty-seven districts. Here, there are paupers and wealthy men. Here, there are heroes and villains. 

However, all of it is centered around a single structure.

The Imperial Palace.

It stands on an elevated platform, fenced off by walls made of stone. The main palace is only four stories high but has considerable breadth. Around it, there is plenty of open space and several smaller buildings, all of them predominantly white with red-tiled roofs. 

The Imperial Palace is located in the exact center of the city. In fact, it is not wrong to say the city grew around the Imperial Palace as influential people from all over the Empire sought to become closer to the Emperor. While the Four Great Sects all boast impressive estates in the districts closest to the palace and own several businesses in the city, the minor sects are lucky if they own a single shop in the smallest and poorest districts. Some have to wait several months for an audience with the Emperor.

Lady Shao Zhilan walks into the palace with all the majesty of a queen.

The guards open every gate for her. The servants bow as she passes by. The imperial pages fight to announce her as she enters the throne room. She saunters across the red carpet, her long brown hair swaying behind her, and kneels twenty paces before the throne.

“Lady Shao, you are here once more. Why?”

“Your Majesty, is it so wrong that your servant might wish to lay eyes upon your visage?”

It is such a lovely visage, after all. For all that his ceremonial crimson robes look far too bulky on him, hiding what she knows is a pleasingly lean body, the Emperor of the Crimson Cloud Empire is a handsome man. His dark hair is tied in a top knot, and his face is angular, with prominent cheekbones. Unfortunately, the look on his face is one of constant exasperation, and his eyes are always dull and lifeless. Those are the only things that stop him from being called classically handsome.

“Lady Shao,” His Majesty says, “How long have we known each other? Must you lie to my face? Is there an edict written down somewhere that compels all who enter this room to lie to the Emperor? There must be because everyone does it. The people lie to me. The clouds lie to me. Even the plants have taken to lying to me recently. I considered executing them, but why bother? The new ones will not be more honest.”

“Oh, Your Majesty! As always, your wit is far too complex for the likes of me,” Shao Zhilan replies with a flawless smile. Her green eyes glimmer like emeralds.

“Truly? I have always thought myself witless. It takes a witless man to be so close to a woman like you.”

She pouts.

“Your Majesty,” she tells him. “Even if it is you, I cannot forgive something that can be taken as an insult to my husbands.”

“I never said they were unhappy,” His Majesty points out. “There are probably no happier men in the Empire. I assure you I curse their names with envy every single day.”

“There is no reason for you to envy them, Your Majesty,” Shao Zhilan says. “The path is always open to you. Would it really be so bad to trust me?”

She bows deeply, and the motion, combined with a dress that already leaves little to the imagination, results in her showing far more cleavage than most women are capable of.

“Yes, it would be terrible,” Emperor replies, staring directly at her cleavage. “Why do you think a pathetic man such as myself has not yet succumbed after all these years? Lady Shao Zhilan,  I wish I could forget my troubles and embrace you. Unfortunately, the Emperor must be perfectly miserable at all times. Anything else is an affront to the natural laws.”

This time, her laugh is genuine. She has long since accepted that the man would never give in to her, but she wishes that wasn’t the case.The Emperor carries himself with all the air of a defeated man, is quick to insult himself, and nearly always believes it. However, there is a reason why Xiang Zuolin remains Emperor after so many years.

“Emperor,” she begins to say, but her smile fades away when the doors to the throne room open with tremendous noise.

What follows is the insistent tapping of a cane as a wrinkled old woman dressed in dark robes makes her way into the throne room. She is small, no more than four feet tall, and perhaps closer to three. Her body trembles with every step she takes. Even calling her old would be too kind. Shao Zhilan can certainly think of many other terms to use on her. 

However, when the old woman speaks, her voice is loud and clear.

“What is the meaning of this?!” She points at them with her wooden cane. “Debauchery! Debauchery! Oh, if only your father and mother could see you now, Little Zuolin! Where did I go wrong?!”

For anyone to enter the throne room and interrupt a meeting between the Emperor and the representative of the Divine Frozen Palace should be unthinkable. However, this is no ordinary old woman. 

She is Old Lady Zhao. She has been the Emperor’s nanny, and the nanny of his father before him and his father before him. No one knows exactly how old she is because no one can remember a time when she was young. All people know is that she has always been there, often going from one job to another. She has been Chief Architect, Minister, and Imperial Dance Instructor, to name a few of her titles.

“To think their son would be consorting a whore!”

“A whore?!” Lady Shao Zhilan stands up. Her qi spreads arctic cold through the throne room as she glares at the diminutive, old woman who has clearly lived far too long. “You dare call me a whore?!”

“What do you want me to call you if you dress like that?” the old woman says, waving her cane in her direction. “Just look at yourself! Those things are nearly falling out of your dress! Those are for babies to suck, woman! You’re supposed to cover them up! Granted, men are often babies. My second husband loved mine. Couldn’t get enough of them. Ah, he’d plead so cutely. Sometimes, I’d-”

“You old crone!” Shao Zhilan shouts. “No one wants to hear you talk about such subjects! No one wants to imagine it!” 

Indeed, the Emperor has already begun turning green.

“Obviously, I was young,” the crone says, rolling her eyes at her. “My bosoms were not saggy and wrinkly like they are now but large and perky. Much more than yours, by the way. I did not need to wear so little to get men to notice me.”

“Are you tired of living?!” Shao Zhilan asks, her face red with anger as she focuses her aura on the person she knows is only a Heaven Realm cultivator.

However, the old bat remains unmoved.

“What are you going to do? Kill me? You think you can do what seven husbands and forty-seven pregnancies couldn’t?” The old woman pats herself on the chest. “Go ahead, girlie! Try your best! This old lady will not move!”

Lady Shao Zhilan reminds herself that there is no reason to fear the old woman. No matter how many memories she has of learning dance and manners under the old crone’s instruction when she was but a young girl, that does not matter anymore. She has become an existence that far surpasses the tiny, shriveled old woman.

And yet, when the old woman effortlessly kicks her slipper to her free hand, brandishing it like a weapon alongside her cane, Shao Zhilan flinches.

“I thought so,” the old woman says. “You would have missed anyway. There is no reason to think your aim is better than any of your husbands. Could it be that they are impotent?”

“You miserable old crone!”

~~~

“How is she not dead yet? How?!” Shao Zhilan screams in frustration later that day while resting on her husband’s lap. She always needs care after encountering that old woman. “Did you know she was already old and wrinkled when I was a child?”

“You have told me many times before,” Tie Leji replies, brushing his fingers through her hair. From this angle, the wrinkles on his face are more noticeable. Age is slowly but surely asserting itself on him.

If only she had found him sooner or if his talent for cultivation was greater, she’d be able to keep him at her side for much longer. What a pity it is that death has to eventually take her loves away from her. 

“Hmph!” She nuzzles herself into his lap. “The only reason the Emperor keeps her around is because she works as a chastity belt for him.”

“I am torn between sympathy and admiration.”

“He is a frightening man… and a sad one.” 

Her husband looks like he is going to say something but stops himself when he feels a presence enter the estate. Shao Zhilan senses it as well and sighs.

“Master! This disciple greets you on this beautiful day!!” 

She enters the room like a ray of sunshine, skipping instead of walking and with a smile that is wide, earnest, and contagious. She is dressed in pink and white robes made of soft, flowy fabric. Her eyes are pink too, and even her long blond hair, which bounces with her every movement, looks pink in certain lights.

She is Shao Zhilan's direct disciple, Fu Lihua. 

“I heard about what happened in the palace. You and Granny Zhao are always so lively!”

“Don’t call her granny!” Shao Zhilan snaps at her disciple. “Do not ever be familiar with that woman!”

Her disciple laughs. “Oh master, you are so melodramatic. Granny Zhao is always so funny.”

“She is a bringer of pain and misery!”

“Master, you will break her heart if you say such things,” her disciple has the gall to admonish her. As if that woman had a heart! “She basically raised Xiang Rong. Anyone who has done that cannot be a bad person.”

“She raised him dull.”

“He’s not dull!” Her disciple protests, pouting. “He’s just a little dim, but that’s fine. Granny Zhao says men are better when they’re a little stupid.” 

“That’s not wrong, but you shouldn’t be learning anything from that woman!” She turns to her husband in search of support. “Tell me, where did I go wrong with this girl?”

Her husband smiles at her. “Dear, if you would allow me this opinion, nowhere at all.”

~~~

Mini-Character 

Shao Zhilan: One of the Five Fairies of the Divine Frozen Palace. Loves several people.

Tie Leji: Shao Zhilan’s husband and closest aide. Aware of his age.

Xiang Zuolin: Emperor of the Crimson Cloud Empire. Will hide behind an old woman if he has to. You can make fun of him, but only if you can get past the old woman.

Granny Zhao: Old and cranky. Dual wields.  

Fu Lihua: Shao Zhilan’s disciple. Sweet girl.

AN:

Since there were many comments about Xiao Yifan being in the Emperor Realm, I’m going to paraphrase what I said in the discord. I’m pretty sure I never mentioned Xiao Yifan’s cultivation level before. If I have, that’s probably my bad. It wasn’t in my notes, but I have been writing this story for many years now. I could have very easily made a mistake somewhere. It is even possible I changed my mind in between chapters. Again, it’s been years.

All that said, Xiao Yifan’s whole deal will be explained later. There is something going on there. Hopefully, it will satisfy everyone. Failing that, I hope it will satisfy most. 

Also, while we are on this topic, I am pretty sure I also haven’t named the Emperor and the Capital of the Crimson Cloud Empire before this chapter. If I’m wrong about that, please let me know. 

Next interlude will be up Wednesday.

Comments

I suspect she'd have the same weight of presence with her former students even if she dealt with them in a society that didn't condone corporal punishment. Her power is not from having spanked the children - her power is that she was an established authority over them, and they still perceive her as an authority. Also, they've know, deep down, that she's generally right. Also: we now know why the rest of the Fairies don't like visiting the capital - they want to avoid granny.

Barrett

I understand your critique of Beware of Chicken, but it has gone more in depth especially starting in book 3 with the cultivator tournament, one of the spectators we meet, Tao the Traveler, tells the Xong brothers about the realms. I especially like the way we vol 4/5 handle it. There's 3 main plotlines, one following Jin for fun slice of life, another following Xiulan and company trying to unite the azure hills secure and the last put thread follows Bi De, who is a prototypical Xianxia MC and has more orthodox adventures.

taukid

Holy shit, the emperor and his nanny are AWESOME!

taukid

The Emperor seems like he’d like Liu Jin as well. I doubt he meets many other soft-spoken and somewhat self deprecating Cultivators, who believe that being an Emperor is an unfortunate duty

Noah

Striking children in any fashion is child abuse. Socially accepted child abuse, but you aren't moving my opinion on it.

BelligerentGnu

What part of that seemed abusive? Spanking with a slipper? Criticizing her clothes? You are either extremely sheltered or dangerously ignorant of how child-raising works, because that isn't abuse it's nannying.

Logan Teague

I imagine the europhic feeling of ejiucalating when i get to ch 500 onwards. Tho 500 chapters might be mich for much for me

Haider Ali

It's been brought up a lot, I've never read it. I have this idea that it's like, the encapsulation of all my least favorite tropes in xianxia, not sure if that's close to true. Scrolled past one I'd forgotten just now and decided to come back to this thread, it's "Memories of the Fall" on RR. It's been mostly redone since I read it, dunno if it's still any good, but I remember LOVING it.

Gardor

I liked every character in this chapter. Can’t wait to see more of them.

1FantasyFanatic

I've always hated characters like rhe old woman. Yes, you abused children in the past, that gives you no right to power over them now. Just silence her and ignore her!

BelligerentGnu

What do u think of reverand insanity. Might start it

Haider Ali

Unintended Cultivator. It's a bit more angsty but the story is great and the updates are constant.

Kanyau

No, I think what we're seeing here is that Dao can level the playing field even more than we thought. Shao Zhilan could instantly kill Granny, sure, but not intimidate her.

Robert Davidson

That's a new word... Edit: oh shit that's literally a new word Are you saying that kaiser and tsar are based on the word emperor? I'm pretty sure they're just different languages word for "Emperor", but even if they're not, they're still one top political position modeling themselves after another top political position. They're not stolen valor-ing themselves after immortal demi-gods driven primarily by "face" and ego. Edit: they're derived from the word "Caesar", and used to denote an equivalent position in the government, feel like I should have remembered that without Google. Alright imagine this: you're an emperor level cultivator. It's taken you a thousand years to get here, and mortals die when they get too close to you. You can destroy a city as easily as turning a hand. You've spent your whole life being a petty tyrant to everyone weaker than you, and now you control the very air people breath. You demand respect in all aspects of your life. Then, some ruler dies and his 15 year old son inherits the title "Emperor". How does that sit with you?

Gardor

Why shouldn't they? It seems like perfectly cromulent world building to have one title invoking another, in fact many real world versions of this very same word (kaiser, tsar, etc) do the same thing!

Ramapriya Rangaraju

I get a feeling that Jin is going to meet this granny. He seems to be collecting relations. Brother, grandfather wife girlfriend servant Elder brother Elder sister so a granny seems appropriate

Blahful

But my main reasoning behind it was, they shouldn't have Emperors and Emperors, and it seemed easier to change the word for the political leader than the cultivation rank. Mostly cuz, again, there's absolutely no indication that these are actually Empires. I also don't think Emperor level cultivators would be lenient enough to let Emperor's in charge of countries imitate them by copying their rank.

Gardor

Oh no you're right, so far the population has been pretty homogeneous, I was trying to say that the different cultures of the different states conquered by the empire weren't well represented. As in, if these nations were actually Empires, there should be evidence of the fact. Like, if France and Germany were united under one system of governance, the people wouldn't stop being French and German. I'm pretty sure that's how empires work, they just add another person above the already established political and social systems. It's not just a word that means "bigger kingdom". Empires are always inherently expansionist, and that means subsuming the nearby kingdoms. Unless this is like, internal imperial Japan, and even then the shoguns and clan heads were effectively kings under the emperors rule. Plus they were pretty isolationist, barring WW2. Still, it is sort of an exception to the rule, although I'll just blame that on translation issues.

Gardor

Naw, Empire seems more appropriate because of the scale of the nations. This side of the Dead Plains only the CCE and SDE are nations of notable size, everything else is considered minor states which only exist because it's most convenient for them at the time. Also, correct me if I'm wrong but I don't believe it was ever stated that the Empires are formed out of vassal-states or minor kingdoms with distinct cultures. That only sounds like ur talking about the small countries that are politically irrelevant in the world.

MasterofNova

Fool! The Dao of Disciplining Naughty Children is invincible against younger cultivators! And when you're as old as Granny Zhao, everyone is a younger cultivator!

Matt.Silver

Ya I wasn't trying to just randomly criticize BoC, I just thought it should be said that it doesn't really have much in common with this story, beyond cultivation. I'd say Forge of Destiny is your best bet, it's got a poor girl trying to cultivate while dealing with the politics of her wealthy sect-mates, but with more of an emphasis on befriending spirits and a cultivation system that focuses more on metaphysical concepts (for lack of a better term). Thousand Li is, if I had to describe it, very "basic". It's literally boilerplate xianxia, but still well written and interesting. A guy devotes himself to both foraging in the wild (like, sects have different career paths, and instead of an alchemist he became a gatherer) and swordsmanship, with the Dao of Wind playing a heavy role. And Cradle is a great, very action heavy xianxia story, written for a western audience but still hitting most of the touchstone tropes. Oh! Molting the Mortal Coil is another one I've read on royal road, but I wouldn't call it "good". It's lacking a bit of connective tissue between arcs, but the cultivation is neat, and it's very long. Very popcorn tho. Speaking of RoyalRoad, Arrogant Young Master Template and This Young Master isn't Cannon Fodder I think were pretty big influences on this story, in a very general way, but they're more comedic. It's an isekai guy knowing and planning around xianxia tropes, and cool stuff happens, but they don't have the serious tone of this story. Thinking about it, maybe just the title was inspired by them, A Very Cliche Xianxia Harem Story does fit that "voice". Since I've already listed a bunch, I'll try one riskier one: Mage Errant. It doesn't take place in a cultivation world, it's about mages at a school, but the magic system does seem to be a pretty one-to-one analog for cultivation. People have different affinities, and then develop techniques to use those affinities. Very creative magic. It's a Kindle Unlimited read, if that does it for ya.

Gardor

Yh ive tried BOC as my first cultivation novel in the last but the jokey and unserious nature of the novel put me off. Ive read quite a few cultivation novels but none come close to this in terms of worldbuilding and dialogue

Haider Ali

In addition to all those, the Tao Wong "Thousand Li" series is pretty alright. I wouldn't say it's "like" this one tho, this one having an intelligent and driven powerful protagonist with a tragic backstory. The MC of Thousand Li is intelligent in his field (ha, you'll get that eventually), but not like Liu Jin. Also, just my personal opinion on Beware of Chicken: it always bugs me how shallow the cultivation aspect is, for the main characters at least. It's definitely slice of life and character driven, and I cannot say the world building is bad, but I do think it cheapens the world building but removing any aspect of struggle from cultivation.

Gardor

I am once again asking you to change it to "Crimson Cloud Kingdom". Not only does the alliteration sound neat, but it would remove any chance of confusion between the Emperor realm cultivators and the Emperor political position. Plus, it's not like you've gone into details about the several kingdoms the empire apparently rules over, each with a distinct culture. A king is still a pretty important person. Maybe I asked you to change it to Storm Dragon Kingdom. Most of the points still apply.

Gardor

Traditional/Translated but terrible female characters: A Will Eternal Americanized and fast-paced: Cradle Political Intrigue and slice of Life: Forge of Destiny Comedy and slice of life: Beware of Chicken

Robert Mullins

There are only around 100 Emperors in the CCE and simply having one in ur sect seems to put it in the top 100 sects of the CCE. The Great Sects on the other hand seem to all have 3 or more Emperors in addition to a Divine in their number, so their dominance seems appropriate. In regards to the SDE tho, these numbers kinda give a perspective on how far it has fallen since it was at one point the peer of CC. Still it has the potential to rise back again with our boy in charge. After all, it's the only other country besides the CCE that's been able to produce Emperors this side of the Dead Plains.

MasterofNova

That's a good point. Additionally if every halfway decent Sect has at least one emperor, how can the Big Four with < 10 be so dominant. Further the whole Storm Dragon Empire seems even weaker now. Or maybe it's the quality of the Emperors given that Murong Bang slaughtered Xiao Patriarch and would be destroyed by the Feng brothers.

G K

Next interlude will be up Wednesday

Turtle Sløw

Recommendations for good cultivation novels like this one

Haider Ali

Hachiman?! Is that you? My Role As Emperor Over This Cliché Xianxia World Can't Possibly Be This Stressful

Sarasana

Are there any more chapters incoming this week, or are we back to our regularly scheduled AveXiaRemY?

Mr R

Hah, navigating all the Sects everyday must be exhausting for the Emperor. In his shoes I would also cheat constantly with every trick in the book.

Valerian

This felt like a freaking otherworld April fools day chapter. Twas hilarious but also incredibly strange. Also the main thing about the Xiao Aunt being an Emperor was that the whole Xiao vs Yun sect rivalries was based off of the former having a Emperor while the other didn't. If she was already an Emperor or at least close to being one prior to when Zheng was poisoned then why was everyone so concerned about it's prospects against the Yun Sect?

MasterofNova

I thini Xiang Zuolin and Liu Jin would get along very well. At the least, I want to see them play off of each other

DowagerOfVeils

Granny is either a secret peak emperor or even divine (less likely)

Hunter8k

La Chancla is strong with Old Lady Zhao. The Emperor being unable to be charmed due to following the Dao of Depression is *not* what I was expecting. Very, very interesting.

Robert Davidson

So that's why the other fairies were so apprehensive about visiting the capital.

Martin Toder

Not the personality I'd expect the emperor to have. Good chapter.

MockingBird

😂

Catherine


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