The Empire Returns Chapter 19

My head throbbed with pain as a migraine caused me to flinch and grab my forehead in order to soothe the horrible pain.

However when I opened my eyes I noticed something weird. I wasn't in my bedroom at all, in fact I seemed to be in a church full of sleeping bags. That's not right. My friends didn't play a prank on me rig-

"Eren are you alright?"

The sound of a feminine voice addressing me was enough to momentarily make my headache pause for some reason and I turned my head to see who was talking to me and I froze on the spot.

Looking directly at me was a ten year old asian girl with dark hair, a mostly blank expression on her face and a red scarf over her neck. However, what was most concerning was the fact that she was addressing me as Eren Yea-

Throb

I clutched my head once again as a my migraine decided to act up and I clutched my head in pain and tried in vain to lessen the extreme pain which I was forced to endure in that moment.

Seeing that I was in pain Mikasa immediately kneeled down in distress and started to fuss over my condition." Eren, are you alright? Your in pain, what did you do?"

Wait who am I? Why is Mikasa so worried? Who's Mikasa? Where's Armin? Who's thoughts are these?!

I tried to take a deep breath and gather my thoughts however that proved difficult and information was forcefully being dumped into my brain at a speed that was overwhelming my senses and Mikasa's constant obsession with my wellbeing was only proving to make my situation even more troublesome.

After a moment I just opened my eyes and words seemed to automatically pool out of my mouth." How is Armin doing?" My eyes widened at my own words.

However, luckily for me Mikasa was terrible at reading social cues so she didn't even bat an eye at my strange behaviour." He's fine. Come on, they're handing out rations."

I just nodded dumbly at her words and it was at that exact moment that I noticed a key hanging off my neck. I reached my hand up, then I tou-

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Being the man who is destined to destroy the world isn't an easy thing to walk with. As much as I try to hide behind a mask of certainty and strength I'm just pretending to be everything I'm not. Kindness, the moral high ground, conviction. These are all traits that I do my best to embody because if I want to give these people hope then that's what I need.

There's no justifying the Rumbling, it's beyond horrific, there's no word to describe how bad destroying the world is. Men, women, children, even babies. It makes no difference who or what they are, in the face of the Wall Titans all of them are just as dead as each other. They'd all die because of me.

As I've said there just is no reason for the Rumbling to ever be justified no matter what I do, so I won't even try to justify rumbling the world but... what other option do I have?

Zeke's plan isn't something that I could ever go along with, it's sick, self hating and no matter how you try to sugar coat it it's really just a suicide plan. You're deciding the fate of an entire race of people, you're taking way their ability to have children. For some unexplainable reason that is more repulsive to me than mass genocide.

As a massive fan of Attack on Titan I saw the show and well... watching it I really thought that genocide was justified at the time. However, this is real life, this isn't an anime and I'm the one with the power of the Founder, the thought of doing all of that is simply too much to bare.

As selfish as it is I've actually considered just running away several times, to get away, to leave Paradis and head to some remote cabin and live out my years in peace. To stop being a... well not a hero but whatever the hell this is. However, my conscience holds me back, I can't leave these people behind and I also don't know if I can destroy the world.

Nothing is for certain and the world is not black and white, everyone outside the Walls isn't an enemy and pretending that they are is a childish world view. So whatever I do in the future- whether it's good or evil- I won't try to act as though I'm in the right. That is my promise to myself.

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My ears were ringing and the voices of the other veteran Scouts were drowned out in favour of me taking the time to break down the plan Erwin had just told me.

Erwin Smith really was the 'Demon Commander' that's for sure. This plan of his could very well get a lot of people killed, we could lose a lot, yet... if we actually pulled this massive gamble off then we'd essentially have the island on our side and the Warriors gone. It was an all or nothing plan though, we could easily just play things safe, a higher chance or success but fewer rewards but-

That's just not really my style.

This plan was risky, and daring, and brilliant. Just what I thought Erwin Smith would come up with, I had similiar thoughts myself to be honest.

Erwin had to come up with a plan to capture both Renier and Bertolt and just hearing him tell me what he has in mind was enough for me to wonder where he hides the balls of steel a man needs to order his men to do something like this.

His plan is to split Reiner and Bertolt up and take them out individually, this is necessary for the plan because whilst I know I can take Reiner on my own Bertolt is another story, those two together are simply too much for me to handle on my own, whilst Bertolt's Titan isn't exactly a combat type both the steam and the sheer size of his Titan make him a terrifying opponent, Reiner is downright terrible at hand to hand combat but his armour is hard to break through even with my own Titan crystals. If I were to face both of them at once then I'd most likely lose.

So we must split them up.

In order to do that we plan on making our move on a day when those two will be separate. I'll handle Reiner whilst the rest of the soldiers, asides from Levi's squad, deal with Bertolt. I'm the only one who can pierce his hardened skin so the responsibility of bringing down the Armoured Titan must be placed upon my shoulders. No pressure.

I had a few concerns though.

Instead of questioning him about how his plan could involve civilians I merely asked." How exactly are we gonna deal with the public though? My identity as a Titan will have to come out for this plan to work, so what will we do once they all know?"

Truth be told the thought of being outed as a Titan made me feel vulnerable, whilst I knew the day it would come out would be soon I also felt uneasy with how much more trouble I'd be in. Humans are irrational by nature, no matter what I do there will be people who just see me as a monster for my abilities, maybe they're right to an extent, but them thinking about me like that could reflect poorly on others. Rod Reiss would probably sic Kenny on me like a dog among his other followers, they might use my girlfriends to get to me and my friends could be in danger as well. I don't much doubt that I can defend myself but I can't be everywhere, I refuse to let the people I care about die.

Erwin answered in a reassuring tone that was meant to ease my concerns and he agreed." Your identity will most likely come out if we went with this plan, however if we play our cards right then we can turn that into our advantage. Whilst there will definitely be some who will oppose you no matter what we can probably get a lot of the people's support if you managed to defeat the Armoured Titan then that along with your previous feat of halting the Titan invasion will be enough to win over a large amount of the population, besides you being revealed will be enough to make Rod Reiss move to presumably kidnap you and then eat you. Once that happens we'll dethrone and usurp him."

I still had some concerns but I had to admit that Erwin made a compelling case so I just nodded at his words and kept quiet about any worries that I had.

I thought back to the night before and my stomach curled with guilt at the thought of not being there for the women that I love, I should've just stayed behind and done more to console the three young women who were inconsolable and mourning the fact that the Curse of Ymir would rob me of my life in less than a decade.

The revelation that I would only be living for eight more years at most along with Ymir was enough to make the three of them feel a massive wave of despair. I think Historia might have had it the worst since she was far closer with Ymir than Mikasa was, she'd be losing not one but two of the three people she loves most at once and there was nothing that the blonde girl could do to change that. There's nothing that she can do to save us.

I hate not being able to be there for those three when they need me, they cried a lot last night- and I did too a little- and I feel like a bad boyfriend for leaving them to manahe their feelings alone like that.

Also... I'm not entirely okay with my own fate either. The Curse of Ymir terrifies me because of the cruel reminder of my mortality, that my fate isn't entirely my own and I will die in my early twenties. There's so much that I won't be able to do with my life that I want to do so badly.

Yet I also can't be allowed to show weakness, I am more or less this island's only hope, if I fall then the million people inside of this place will go down with me, that includes innocent children like Louise, so I have to be reliable, I have to be strong and I have to be brave. I have to be all of the things that I'm not.

I was cut off from my own self pity party when Erwin suddenly asked a very important question." Eren, are there any weaknesses that Reiner and Bertolt have which we can exploit?"

At their bushy eyebrowed commander's question Hange seemed to lean forward a little but I ignored that and flatly said." Reiner has a split personality, just make sure that you don't trigger him and he'll forget that he's a Titan." My words were casual, as though I hadn't just told them a critical weakness in our enemies defense and the Scouts were surprised by my words.

Hange however was a lot more interested than others and she asked swiftly." What do you mean by that?" Shs seemed confused at my words and I just shrugged at her and elaborated.

"Exactly what I said. Obviously after sleeping besides so many ordinary people for years he realised that we weren't the devils he believed us to be and that we were all innocent in this, however he likely couldn't cope with the fact he'd massacred so many innocent people so his mind seems to have kind of... split in a way. He's stuck between being a soldier who fights to protect the people of the Walls and a Marleyan Warrior who wants to kill everyone inside of the Walls. I learned this when we were training, he almost seemed... genuine about everything he said and did and he was always going off about what it means to be a soldier. It was his way of coping with guilt by falling for his own act. Part of him really believes that he's just another soldier. But his other half is another kind of extreme. He's a ruthless Warrior who will do absolutely anything for Marley's sake. There's no inbetween with him, he's gone insane along the way. Taking him could actually be quite simple if we just avoid topics that could trigger him."

Hange feels a twinge of sympathy in her gut at those words but hardens herself immediately after and accepts his words by writing them down on her notepad.

Erwin however was actually grateful for that chunk of information and he was already thinking of how to apply that. It'd be far easier to lure Reiner off into a secluded place if his psyche was as unstable as Eren was suggesting, taking a Titan Shifter would be far simpler if they weren't even aware that they could transform.

Some might say that it was a cheap move but if that would win them this battle then he's fine with that, he has no problems with taking advantage of a person's mental state if that's what it will take to win against such a powerful foe.

Erwin has been doing some reflecting lately, he never joined the Scouts with noble intentions like so many of his comrades did, he joined in order to prove his father right and atone for getting him killed with his own foolishness. However, once he actually became a Scout he stopped talking about his dream for some reason-

Actually no. He knows exactly why he stopped talking about it. He watched as his friends and comrades died around him, eaten by Titans and realised that he was the only one who wasn't fighting for humanity, they died for something better and bigher than them, yet he lived for a selfish dream. For the longest time he put his dreams aside to lead the Scouts, he spoke words like 'give your hearts to humanity' and pretended like all he wanted was for humanity to live. Maybe for a while he really did believe that.

However, he is a man with dreams. And seeing the boulder that halted the Titan invasion reignited them for a short while. He had a hunch that this 'rogue Titan' might have some answers for him. So even if he was a Titan he'd have thrown caution to the wind and worked with him just for the chance to get some answers, even if he could have been a Titan spy for the Armoured and Colossal he still would have risked it. Because, that's just who he is. Someone who desperately wants answers.

Then Eren gave them to him.

It happened so fast. He wanted to lure out the rogue Titan but he never expected it to happen so quickly, and for him to just be given all of the answers he ever sought right on the spot. Just minutes that's all it took.

And a massive weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He was no longer tied down by his dreams, a slave to his own wants and needs, he no longer had to send legions of his men to their deaths just to take that tiny step forward in the slimmest hope of grasping his own selfish desires. He was free from it all.

But, whilst he was free from his dreams he was not free from his responsibilities as a Commander, whilst he might not have joined for heroic purposes he has changed over the years, he wants to fight and protect the loved ones of those who gave their lives for him and he wants to try and be less selfish than he was before. He has a chance to change now and their future was no longer dimly lit but rather shining with potential to grow like theu haven't in the hundred years they've been behind the Walls.

He just hopes that they can live up to that potential.