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tedsteel
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4.10 - Dragonball [T1]

10.

"What a load of balls," I said, as th

Comments

Emil needs to feel he has let the side down. It needs to come from his teammates in a way that can't be just them passing the buck.

Richard Carling

Really lookin' forward to Emil. The 170 is too sweet a reward to give up now

Matty

Pokemon syndrome is real. It's too bad you can't just store a load of footballers in your PC like you can with all your pokemon...

Matty

Fixed, thanks!

Ted Steel

Fixed two of the three! Thanks.

Ted Steel

Villain of the week - this is a really, REALLY good way to describe what it must feel like to play against each manager maybe twice before getting promoted out of their league

Caerold

Drank some special water — deep cut!

Caerold

This was highly entertaining. I loved the Saltney section and the return of manic mentor Max. I also really hope Emiliano learns. On a side note, paragraph two made me think this chapter would be a Sandra POV and now I want one.

BelligerentGnu

I feel like getting binned off after 8 minutes after "playing well" isn't the best got tram morale.

Jaydan Man

Hello! small thing: "Chester lads, what you're learning, some people call it Bestball. Welsh lads, some people it Dragonball. " I think this is missing a "call" so it reads Welsh lads, some people [call] it Dragonball

Tom Schulman

I am painfully reminded that Max and Henri never got to watch Casablanca in Casablanca (*glare*). I also find it absolutely delightful that Max, while talking about Dragonball, shouts hadouken during a shoryuken. Incredible! Edit Suggestions: But Sun Wokung -- Wokung -> Wukong (with all of the intentional mistakes that Max is making, it's hard to tell whether this is one of them, but in case it's not...) "I hope he didn't learn that on your course." -- this could be a British vs. American thing, but I would say 'in your course' instead of 'on'. “Tell me to fucking calm down”, I chuntered -- inverted comma and quotation mark

Tareq Malikyar

Nope! I fixed it, thanks.

Ted Steel

Thanks for the chapter. Somewhere in there it says “people people”, not sure if that’s intentional

Riptide

Now that was a chapter full of pleasant cringe.

Galeg

The weird vibe in the dressing room is interesting. Player revolt? Or players going to go to work on their Ferrari?

Geoff Urland

The Emil saga is really fascinating to see unfold. I really don't know if his mentality will ever turn over like Tyson's did. Maybe someone in the dressing room will get through, since the top-down strategy isn't seeming to get through. He seems like someone who doesn't care as long as their stat sheet looks dope, which is opposite of what Max preaches. Great chapter as always!

Crimson King99


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