Neko Superhero Joins the Villains Script

The third installment of the Neko Superhero series. I really enjoyed writing this script and recording it. I've grown very attached to the character of the listener :) It was nice to adopt them officially. 

I hope you enjoy :) 

Neko Joins the Supervillains [F4A] 

My baby hero!

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Ooh, let me give you a hug.

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When Dr. Doom told me you wanted to join us, I was so excited I went right out and redecorated my whole house. It's pirates themed now. I was going to do fish-themed or cat-themed but I felt like that was too on the nose. Did you bring your stuff? I can help you move in!

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No? That's alright, we can go over to your apartment if you'd like.

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Yeah, I know where you live! I know your secret identity, remember?

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True, but it only took a quick search and touch of social media stalking to find your name and address. You'd be surprised how advanced our supervillain computer is, especially with social media. Half the supervillains have a MASSIVE following on Tik Tok and Youtube. I don't know what it is with teenagers and supervillains, but they idolize us more than the heros.

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Ooh, we should make a channel together! You and me, fighting the heroes! We'd be an instant hit, especially with your adorable little ears. Then we could vlog our days off together. We could travel the world and make videos about that! We could go to places no one else can. Ooh, we could break into all those off-limits places and make videos there! Like those islands you're not allowed to go on for safety reasons, or those historical sites that would be a danger to the public? That would be awesome and very educational. Education is important, you know.

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Hey... you're safe here with me now. If you want, you can take off the mask. There's no one around. And I'd really like to see those adorable little ears of yours! I've been thinking about them nonstop. I've been thinking about you nonstop.

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Aww they're even cuter than I remember :)

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I can... I can pet them? Really?

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But you were so against it before?

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Yeah I guess we were enemies then. And you were tied up in my evil lair, so I can see how that would be different. Are you sure? I wouldn't want to do anything you're not comfortable with.

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Ok, ok, I'll be really gentle.

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They're so so soft... is that gentle enough?

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Oh, I can touch a little harder? Ok, just a little. I don't want to hurt you.

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There is that ok?

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Good good. I can't I can't I'm so happy they're so soft I'm literally dying from how cute and soft they are.

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Lower? Ok... there?

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No way, are you purring? Stop, stop it right now it's too adorable!

Aww come here, baby hero, snuggle up against me.

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Eeee your purring is so cute. I can't it's too adorable.

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Oh, I want to stay here and snuggle forever. But it is raining. And there's so much to show you! I have to show you the evil lair of evilness and the underground meeting room of evil planning and the underwater library full of evil books to assist in evil! And my house, of course. It's not the typical evil lair, I kind of share a lair with a bunch of other supervillains so I can keep work and my home life separate. You know? Besides, I wouldn't want to clutter up a lair with my latest obsession. This week's it's watercolor painting.

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Did you still want to live with me? Joining the supervillains doesn't mean we have to be roommates. Although I would love it so so so much! If not, I'd be happy to find you another place, or an evil lair.

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Oh, that is wonderful. I'll be a good roommate, I promise. I clean up after myself and I'll do all the dishes and I'll cook for you whenever you want. And we can cuddle on the couch and watch whatever movie you would like. Or play videogames together! I'm not very good at them, but if you'd like I'd play with you!

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Here, we'll have to wait for the bus. We wouldn't want to arouse any suspicion. Did you come from your house, or the superhero's fortress?

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Ok, do you know if you were followed?

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That's alright, little hero. I won't let them hurt you. You're one of us now. You've got the full protection of the supervilains. Oh, I can't wait for you to meet everyone! They're going to love you. I have to admit, everyone's super excited to meet an ex-hero. But don't worry, little hero, you don't have to tell them anything you don't want to about your old life. As far as we're concerned, you've always been one of us. But a tiny bit of inside information is always helpful, if you're willing to share.

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You know, I guess I won't be able to call you my little hero anymore because technically you're not. That's a shame, I did love that nickname. Do you have another one you'd like to be called, or do you mind little hero?

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Alright then. Oh, I guess you'll need a new supervillian name as well. That is, if you're planning on actually doing villainous things. You don't have to. You could live with me and live a perfectly normal life if you'd like. You wouldn't even have to work! I'd rob enough banks for the both of us. But if you did want to do villainous things with me, you'd need a new name. Any ideas?

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Ooh, I like that! It will fit right in with the others. You thought that up pretty fast. Have you considered this before?

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Well, you'll need a new suit too. And a new color scheme, those bright colors are usually reserved for heroes. Take all the colors you would usually wear, then put super dark sunglasses on, that's the color palette we're going for. Then again, you could always do something surprising and wear bright colors! Whatever you want to do. You'll find the villains a very inclusive and supportive bunch.

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Are you alright? You seem a little sad.

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Ah, you had friends with the superheros. I'm sorry. It can be rough when friends drift apart. But I promise, you'll have dozens more friends once I introduce you to everyone. If you like more outgoing, fun-loving and adventurous friends, I'll introduce you two five villains who call themselves the Parthenon Squad. Hydras is the leader, he and his wife Medusa. They're wonderful at parties and always make sure everyone gets home safe. Thanatos is just a wild one. If you want to try something super crazy, he will 100% do it with you and pscyh you into it. I was deathly afraid of snakes for a long time, but Thanatos took me to a zoo and they let me pet one. And finally there's Dionysius. He's always black-out drunk by the end of every party, but a funnier guy you'll never meet.

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Or, if you're more into quiet, thoughtful, and insightful friends, there's a team of villains, all introverts, called the Bookmark Society. I know seven of the members, but I'm sure there are a lot more. They don't meet together in person at all. They just text and pass notes hidden in books back and forth to each other. From what I understand, it's a very philosophical club. No small talk is allowed, only deep and meaningful conversation. And even that never lasts very long, since all the members need their personal time. But from what I hear, they're all very close friends.

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I'll introduce you to everyone. It won't take long for you to find your place among us. Or maybe you'll make your own! Either way, you'll always have me.

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Ah, here comes the bus! That's Shard driving. He doesn't talk much and he's prone to interdimensional travel, but a more thoughtful guy you'll never meet. He always seems to know exactly what you want for Christmas. He'll drive us back to base, and I'll show you around! Then we can take a truck or something over to your apartment and pack it all up. With all of us working together, it shouldn't take long! And move you right in with me. I have your room all ready for you!

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Are you ready to go? You don't have to do this, you know. There's no pressure. You can change your mind right now and go back to your old life.

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What do you say?