Moving Forward

My dear followers,

It's been a heavy and emotional year so far for me after the loss of my Grandmother. Her intense battle with liver cancer carried on for about two years, but unfortunately she passed away on June 13, 2018. Many other personal life issues occurred before and after this event which made it difficult to carry on with life and my work. The pain was truly unlike anything I've ever experienced. It was the first true close loss from my family and my heart ached for weeks. 

My love for film making, photography, editing, and music stemmed from her. She was a huge part of my childhood as she was there for my Mother in her darkest and most difficult days. Throughout my life she bestowed upon me the values and morals that have made me who I am today. She was the only person besides my Mother who I could truly be myself with because I knew her love was unconditional towards me and my family. 

*I'm seriously getting emotional by just typing this as all the memories and feelings are flooding back into my head/heart.*

As I witnessed her last breath, a part of myself died with her. A void is the best description for what I felt in my heart, and the weeks following that have been extremely painful. I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by family and friends who cared for me and vice versa as we grieved together. I was personally their anchor as the pain of my Grandma's loss hit my Uncle, Aunt and Mother the hardest. I needed to be the strongest for them as they grieved more intensely than I did. After weeks of keeping my emotions in, I've suddenly begun to feel them all at once while writing this. 

This pain is almost unbearable..

Personally, my motivations and aspirations have fluctuated and distorted throughout this past month. I didn't know what was next, what to do, or how to go on the right way. As the weeks went on, I realized that there was no right way. There was only the ability to move forward each day the best way you could. 

As our grief still continues, our hearts have been slowly beginning to heal. 

As I reminisced on my Grandmother's life and how she lived it, I realized that I needed to go on for her. Not just as a human being, but as an ARTIST. Because that's who my Grandmother was: A beautiful, strong, independent, powerful, passionate, and faithful woman who appreciated and loved everything and everyone around her; expressing it all through her art and photography. Her love and positive influence was felt by not just my family, but every community she was a part of.

I want to be that kind of person for Her, and I will.

I want to thank you all for your love and support for what I do in this channel. Every positive and emotionally supportive comment has NOT gone unread so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making a difference.

I will be returning soon with a new video. A short one to be in fact but a deeply personal one to me. It will be centered around a Marvel character that I now relate to on an extreme level. 

*To my Patrons, you will know which character that will be first very soon*

At the same time I will be working on a video dedicated to my Grandmother. It will be the biggest video I have ever done and the most difficult, but it will be worth it. This video will combine every single movie/show I can get my hands on in one video to convey a message of purpose, tragedy, hate, loss, strength, love, and hope. I will end it with a reel of my Grandmother along with a personal message to her. 

The project will be titled "Pink Diamond." (title to be explained later).

Stay tuned my friends, and May the Force be with you all, Always.