(Story) Please Put Your Phones Away

Professor Linden stepped briskly across campus, her heels tapping rhythmically against the pavement as she made her way from one building to the next. It was the start of the spring semester, and the trees were bursting with new life, their branches heavy with blossoms. The fresh breeze that swept through the grounds carried the scent of spring and—unfortunately for her—the first waves of pollen. She had been increasingly exposed to the pollen as she went about her day on campus, and its effects were becoming harder to ignore.

Dressed in an elegant white collared blouse, neatly tucked into a black pencil skirt that hugged her curves, she looked every bit the poised and professional academic. Her blonde hair was sleek and tied back, her makeup minimal but refined. She exuded confidence as she moved through the throngs of students, her figure effortlessly commanding attention. Yet, beneath this composed exterior, she felt the familiar stirrings of something unwelcome.

As she approached the hall for her next lecture, a slight tickle began to form deep within her nose. She sniffled softly, barely acknowledging it at first, but as she continued walking, the itch grew stronger. Her breath caught in her throat.

“Hihh... hih-ihh..." The tickle was insistent now, and without warning, it forced a sneeze. “Heh-KSHH! Hih... Hah-CHHIIew!” She quickly brought a hand up to her face, muffling the sneezes somewhat. A few students glanced her way, but she pressed on, dabbing at her nose with a tissue she fished from her bag.

"Of course," she muttered under her breath, feeling the familiar irritation settling in. "I forgot my allergy medicine," she said as she rummaged in her bag, wishing for one of her pills to spring into existence.  As was common for her at the start of a new year’s allergy season, she had lost the habit of regularly taking her medication and she always kicked herself for the price she paid for that forgetfulness.

The pollen was already starting to work its way into her system. She sniffled again, more audibly this time, feeling the congestion slowly building. Her tissues were already coming in handy, though she knew the battle had only just begun.

By the time she reached the lecture hall, her nose was running slightly, and the spot deep inside her nose just behind the bridge kept tingling annoyingly with the growing itch. She stopped just outside the door, taking a deep breath and straightening her blouse, smoothing down the fabric with deliberate movements. Her reflection in the window showed the picture of composure, and she was determined to keep it that way.

Stepping inside her classroom, Professor Linden moved behind the podium, glancing at her notes. Sociology and Visual Culture. She cleared her throat, trying to ignore the subtle itch creeping back into her sinuses. The students settled into their seats, and the low hum of conversation died down as she began to speak.

"Good morning, everyone," she said, her voice steady despite the congestion that threatened to build. "Today, we’ll be discussing historical depictions of female beauty, particularly in Renaissance and Baroque art." She clicked the projector on, revealing an image of a painting on the screen behind her.

She started strong, moving smoothly through the opening points of her lecture, but the creeping tickle in her nose was persistent. With each passing minute, it seemed to grow worse. She fought it, rubbing at her nose discreetly and pausing every so often to take a quick, shallow breath.

"As you can see," she continued, pointing to the painting on the screen, "Renaissance ideals of beauty emphasized... Hihh... emphasized full figures, fertility, and..." Her breath hitched slightly, and she pressed a finger beneath her nose, trying to stifle the sneeze that threatened to interrupt her.

“Hihh... hihhh... excuse me.. Hah-KSSHIIew!" She turned slightly to the side, sneezing despite the finger pressed hard under her nostrils. "Sorry, everyone. Allergies." She attempted a weak smile, hoping to move past the moment quickly. But her nose had other plans.

For the next few minutes, she managed to keep going, though her voice grew increasingly nasal, and she had to pause more frequently to wipe at her nose. Her spent tissues were starting to pile up on the podium, and the itchiness was spreading to her eyes, making them water.

"As I was saying," she resumed, "Baroque art frequently presented women with dramatic, voluptuous forms, emphasizing... ahh... currh-... curves and.. hah-HEH-KSCHHHHOO!  emotional expressiveness..." She barely managed to finish the sentence, the sneeze punctuating her words. Her blonde hair, once neatly pinned back, had begun to slip loose, a few stray strands falling against her flushed face.

She sniffled wetly, trying to maintain her composure, but her efforts were becoming less and less effective. Her nose was beginning to redden, and she could feel the dampness from her sneezes spraying and trickling out her twitching nostrils. She glanced up at the class, and her heart sank as she noticed a few students discreetly pulling out their phones.

Trying to ignore it, she pressed on, though the sneezes came more frequently now. “Huhh... ahh—Hah-KSCHOO! Hihh... Hah-KSHIIew!” She swayed slightly with the force of the sneezes, gripping the podium for balance. The curves accentuated by her pencil skirt shifted and strained as she bent slightly at the waist from the growing intensity of her sneezes. Each one left her more disheveled, her blouse rumpled and her voice increasingly strained.

She dabbed at her eyes with her tissue, which was rapidly becoming useless against the onslaught of tears and watery mucus. "As you can see, the depictions of women in art... they... ahh... HEH-KSSHOO!" The sneeze cut her off, and she could feel her control slipping away. She sniffled again, the sound wet and miserable, and noticed more phones aimed in her direction.

A sharp tickle surged through her sinuses, making her eyes flutter. The pollen felt relentless and inescapable, as if she were standing in a pollen-filled meadow, surrounded by swaying plants, completely exposed to the elements and to the multitude of phone cameras trained on her. She felt defenseless, the knowledge of her lack of medication worsening her symptoms, unable to stop her body’s awful reactions to the pollen. She swore she could see the particles floating in the air both inside the classroom and outside the windows drifting free from the trees on the campus grounds.

She looked up, trying to regain her composure, but her breath hitched again. "Please... Hahh... Hah-KSSHIIew! Hih-Hah-KSHHH!!" She sneezed violently, her blonde hair falling loose around her shoulders. She barely had time to dab at her nose before the next sneeze struck. “Hihh-HIEESHHHHHHoo!!!”

Her students stared, some with concern, others with amusement. Her once neatly-tied hair had come completely undone, strands falling in disarray as she fought against the worsening attack. She noticed, with a sinking feeling, more phones capturing her struggle, their screens undoubtedly reflecting her red, runny nose and the growing pile of tissues beside her. She brought a fresh tissue to her nose and blew hard, the sound wet and gurgling. “Hnnngrkblflfkffffhh,” it reverberated through the room, echoing as she added the soaked tissue clump to the growing pile on her desk.

“Please... put your phones... away...” she managed to say, though her voice wavered, and her authority had all but evaporated. Her hands trembled as she pressed another tissue to her nose, but the sneezes wouldn’t stop. "Huhh... ahh... HEH-KSHHH! HEHHH-KTCHHOO!”

Her eyes brimmed with allergic tears. She felt utterly exposed, her professional image unraveling as her sneezes wracked her body. She tried to hold it together, to power through, but the pollen was too much. Her tissues were soaked, the last one now completely spent, her nose still dripping uncontrollably as if to mock her predicament.

“I... I’m terribly sorry,” she muttered, blinking rapidly to clear her blurry vision. She straightened up one last time, attempting to regain some semblance of dignity. "I think we’ll have to continue this next time..." But before she could finish, another sneeze overtook her.

“Hahh... Hah-HIEEGKTCHHHHOO!!! HAH-IIEEGKSHHHHIIEW!!!”

The fit was unstoppable now, each sneeze utterly desperate and uncontrollable, and she could feel the stares and the phones recording every miserable moment. Clutching her last sodden tissue, she turned her back to the class, muttering another apology as she collected her things and hurried toward the door, her body trembling with each desperate sneeze.

Outside, Professor Linden leaned against the cold brick wall, tissue pressed desperately against her red nose. Her elegant outfit was rumpled, her blonde hair disheveled, and her face a mess of tears and runny mucus. She wiped at her nose with the last of her sodden tissue, defeated by the allergy attack.

The image of herself sneezing uncontrollably in front of her students, phones capturing every moment, replayed in her mind. As the thoughts swirled of how she would appear to anonymous viewers online, she heard her heels click rapidly as her feet took her somewhere, anywhere, that had allergy medication for her to buy.