"Building a Lifeline (For My Ancient Spider God)"

Hey everybody!

Totally forgot to post this with our Stop Making Sense episode, so, here it is as a New Year's Treat!
Enjoy A.J.'s follies in the desert/resurrection of an ancient spider god!

“Building a Lifeline (For My Ancient Spider God)”
Music by Talking Heads
Lyrics by A.J. Ditty

A.J.:
AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF STANDING IN THE EGYPTIAN DESERT
AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF TAKING OUT A SIZABLE LOAN
AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF IN CHARGE OF A MULTIFACETED CONSTRUCTION PROJECT
AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF IN AN EGYPTIAN COURT WITH A CEASE AND DESIST
AND YOU MAY TELL THEM ALL, “WELL, WHAT CAN YA DO?”

PRAISE BE TO SHAYGOBI, LET THE SPIDERS ALL RAIN DOWN
OH THE GREAT SHAYGOBI, LET THEM FLOW UP FROM THE GROUND
BUILDING A ZIGGURAT NEXT TO THE NILE’S WATERS
BUILDING A LIFELINE, FOR MY ANCIENT SPIDER GOD.

AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF, STILL IN THAT SAME COURTROOM
AND YOU MAY HEAR THEM ASKING “DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT PERMITS?”
AND YOU MAY ANSWER BACK “I DIDN’T REALIZE I NEEDED THEM”
AND THEY WILL GRIMLY NOD, “YEAH, YOU KINDA DO!”

FILLING OUT PAPERWORK, FORM 2A IN DUPLICATE
FILLING OUT PAPERWORK, TRYING NOT TO THROW A FIT
BUILDING A ZIGGURAT, NEXT TO THE NILE’S WATERS
YOU’LL NEED A LIFELINE, OR IN PAPERWORK YOU’LL DROWN.

YOU MUST INITIAL HERE, YOU MUST INITIAL HERE
YOU MUST INITIAL HERE, YOU MUST INITIAL HERE
YOU MUST INITIAL HERE, DON’T FORGET ABOUT HERE
YOU MUST INITIAL HERE, YOU MUST INITIAL HERE!

LET’S TALK ABOUT ZONING, CAN’T FORGET ABOUT ZONING!
CAUSE THERE IS WATER, FLOODING THE FOUNDATION
REMOVE THE WATER, THERE’S JUST MORE WATER
REMOVING THE WATER FROM THE BASE OF THE STRUCTURE

MOURNING THE EMPLOYEES, ALL THAT WATER MADE THEM DROWN
DODGING EMPLOYMENT FEES, MEANS THE UNION’S COMING DOWN
INTO THE RED AGAIN, AFTER THAT MONEY’S GONE
TAKE OUT A BANKING LOAN, FOR THAT WATER UNDERGROUND

PRAISE BE TO SHAYGOBI, WHO WILL BE WORTH THE INTEREST RATES
OH HOLY SHAYGOBI, THIS SPIDER TEMPLE WILL BE GREAT
INTO THE WEB AGAIN, AFTER YOU’VE TRAPPED US ALL
A STICKY LIFELINE, IN OUR GOOEY, HOLY GOWNS

YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF “WHY AM I TRAPPED IN THE WEB?”
YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF “HOW MANY SPIDERS IS TOO MANY?”
AND YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF “ARE WE PEOPLE, OR ARE WE FOOD?”
AND YOU MAY SCREAM TO YOURSELF “MY GOD. WHAT HAVE I DONE???”

LETTING HER EAT YOUR BRAIN, AS HER WEBBINGS ARE UNFURLED
LETTING ME TAKE THE BLAME, AS SHE TAKES OVER THE WORLD
BUILDING THIS ZIGGURAT, NEXT TO THE NILE’S WATERS
WAS SUCH A HUGE MISTAKE, GOD SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF

UNLEASHING SHAYGOBI, OH MY GOD SHE’S GOT JAPAN
FEAR THE GREAT SHAYGOBI, SHE’LL DEVOUR EVERY MAN
INTO THE SHIT AGAIN, AFTER THE WORLD’S DEVOURED
THROW US A LIFELINE, SO WE CAN BEGIN AGAIN…

OH, GOD! OH THERE’S SO MANY SPIDERS!
OH! OH! WHY DID I DO THIS?!?!

*Spider noises*